Message Boards

Topic : 11/01 Is This Normal?

Number of Replies: 531
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, October 27, 2006, 02:20:08 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Do you know someone whose behavior is always making you raise an eyebrow? Dr. Phil helps his guests distinguish what's normal and what's not. Kelly says she’s tired of her husband, Scott’s, jokes. She says they’re inappropriate, obnoxious and rude. Scott admits that his jokes can be sexual in nature, but he loves being the life of the party. Will Kelly loosen up, or does Scott need to tone it down? Then, Vicki fears that she’s dying and visits the doctor at least once a week. Her husband, Harvey, says she needs to stop worrying about her health or she’s really going to make herself sick. Is it all in Vicki’s head, or does she really have a reason to be afraid? And, Shelita refuses to celebrate the holidays because she says they’re pagan festivals. Her sister, Akea, says she contradicts herself by accepting presents. Will Akea be able to embrace her sister’s decision, or is Shelita being unreasonable? Plus, Dr. Phil and Robin kick off their participation in the 2006 Toys for Tots holiday campaign! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More November 2006 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

October 29, 2006, 9:09 am CST

This gets asked........A LOT. LOL

Quote From: mswing10

I've looked it up and can't find any site that defines it the same way.  can someone explain?

This question gets asked a lot.  Pagan is a broad term, and there are different sects of Paganism, such as Wiccan and Druid beliefs.  Mainly a Pagan is one who worships the Earth and works with the elements, Earth, Air, Fire, Waterm and Spirit (each of these elements are the points of the Pentagram) to bring peace and balance into their lives.  I believe in a God and a Goddess, although some Pagans believe in many Gods and Goddesses.  Our Sabbats (holidays) are centered around nature.  We are peaceful people who care about this Earth and all that are in it.  We respect animals and do no harm to others.  Hope this helps. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

pa‧gan[pey-guhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun 1. one of a people or community observing a polytheistic religion, as the ancient Romans and Greeks. 2. a person who is not a Christian, Jew, or Muslim. 3. an irreligious or hedonistic person. –adjective 4. pertaining to the worship or worshipers of any religion that is neither Christian, Jewish, nor Muslim. 5. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of pagans. 6. irreligious or hedonistic.
 
October 29, 2006, 9:28 am CST

Fear of Death

Although, I haven't yet seen the show about the lady who is afraid she is dying, I can't help but feel for her.  My mom died when I was 14 years old of kidney disease.  When I was eighteen, I went through a "phase" where I was sure I was going to die.  It was the most debilitating time of my life.  It went on for several months.  I finally went to the doctor, had a complete physical and was deemed in excellent health.  The doctor gave me something for the anxiety and suggested,  I see a psychologist, which I did, and eventually the anxiety and fear went away.  I have not seen the show as yet, but will be very interested in the topic.  I have never met anyone else with the feelings I had, who were perfectly health.

 

Sincerely

SWL

 
October 29, 2006, 10:04 am CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: fidosmommy

I'm a church pastor who has given up trying to get members to understand that wreaths, trees, mistletoe, and red and green have nothing whatsoever to do with Christmas and are indeed symbols of pagan religions.  But, if they want to celebrate with over the top decorating and gift buying, I guess I won't be able to stop them.   I wonder what the originator of Christmas thinks about it, though. 

 

I grew up in a midwestern, mid-sized city where the local political cartoonist used the same cartoon every Christmas day for years on end.  Hugh Haynie depicted a person staring off into air, holding his incredibly full Christmas gift list.  He thinks to himself "Have I forgotten anybody?"

as the One whose birthday it is is looking over his shoulder, finding his name nowhere on the list.

 

I personally decided years ago that Christmas cards, parties, clothes, foods and the like would be eliminated from my celebrations.  I would only do those things that put Christ at the center.  Since that decision, Christmas has become happier, longer-lasting, with absolutely no post-holiday let-down.  After Christmas comes the rest of the Christian year with an equal amount of meaning and joy.  I would never want to return to the shopping malls and kitchen to find Christmas. 

 

Thank you for listening.  Nobody else around here will!   <grin>

 I'm a Christian whose children go trick or treating AND whose pastor hands out candy and treats to the kids. A lot of churches in our area use this as an evanglism tool. I love going to parties and dressing up and being silly. I also,do the tree for Christmas, presents etc. Some of those traditions may have pagan origins but, it's about what they are for us (tradition, connection with our family's past) Not about their origins. That kinda logic would keep me from using technology as it was advanced mostly by war. Jesus knows my heart and intentions THAT'S what matters most.
 
October 29, 2006, 10:28 am CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: fidosmommy

I'm a church pastor who has given up trying to get members to understand that wreaths, trees, mistletoe, and red and green have nothing whatsoever to do with Christmas and are indeed symbols of pagan religions.  But, if they want to celebrate with over the top decorating and gift buying, I guess I won't be able to stop them.   I wonder what the originator of Christmas thinks about it, though. 

 

I grew up in a midwestern, mid-sized city where the local political cartoonist used the same cartoon every Christmas day for years on end.  Hugh Haynie depicted a person staring off into air, holding his incredibly full Christmas gift list.  He thinks to himself "Have I forgotten anybody?"

as the One whose birthday it is is looking over his shoulder, finding his name nowhere on the list.

 

I personally decided years ago that Christmas cards, parties, clothes, foods and the like would be eliminated from my celebrations.  I would only do those things that put Christ at the center.  Since that decision, Christmas has become happier, longer-lasting, with absolutely no post-holiday let-down.  After Christmas comes the rest of the Christian year with an equal amount of meaning and joy.  I would never want to return to the shopping malls and kitchen to find Christmas. 

 

Thank you for listening.  Nobody else around here will!   <grin>

I guess I don't understand. This is something I have been trying to understand for a loooong time now and maybe you can answer this for me.

Why does it matter what the originator of a tradition had in mind or what their beliefs are? These things morph and evolve. I'm an atheist and I have a Christmas tree and I celebrate Halloween. These things, although started from paganism, are now secular to most people.

Why does being a Christian stop you from embracing the one time of year that many people come together on? There is a feeling of happiness and harmony in the air during December that the rest of the year lacks.  Sending a Christmas card is nice, getting one is nice.  The parties, the decorations, the music...it's all nice. It's like a party for all of man kind once a year.

And the other part I don't understand is, why is it so BAD that these things are Pagan? Pagans are good people. They are peaceful people.


 
October 29, 2006, 11:05 am CST

IS this NOrmal?

As far as the sister who doesn't want to celebrate holidays because they are pagin in orgin-- 

 

I'm interested in seeing whether or not she is a Jehovah's Witness.  They are known (I know a lot) to accept holiday gifts from others while not participating in celebrations themselves.  Even condemning those holidays in fact.  It truly wouldn't surprise me.

 
October 29, 2006, 12:33 pm CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: st_tng

Thanks for your reply Effie.  I'm truly sorry if my question offended you - I didn't mean to imply that pagans are evi - that's just what my sister calls herself.  I know the Christmas tree and most of our Holiday traditions have pagan roots.  They're just traditions - not Christian and not evil. 

 

I'm wondering about the source of topping a tree with a skull. I don't know what a skull-topped Christmas tree signifies - if anything at all.  I'm wondering if there is a symbolic meaning to this type of decoration of which I am ignorant - from any historical, religious, or spiritual source.  I know it's not Christian, and I know it isn't "main stream" holiday traditional. 

 

Is a skull-topped Christmas tree "normal?"  What is the meaning or source for it? 

 

Actually, I'm much more concerned with my sister's other challenges:  spousal abuse, anorexia, extremely low self-esteem, always wearing black, and calling herself "evil."  I think she carries far too much guilt to be truly evil (my definition of evil being malicious intent and lack of remorse).  My attempts to provide positive messages and feedback for over two decades have not been successful.  During a conversation where I was trying to convince her that she is worth my efforts to help her, she has told me "We will never have a relationship."  I agree that she is seeking attention, but attention from me is definitely unwelcome at this time.

 

Our mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and my sister won't even talk to me about her care.  My niece was married in September, and I wasn't invited to the shower or wedding, which deeply hurt our mother (although I wasn't surprised).  The gifts our mother bought for the bride have been refused (which did surprise me), and has hurt and confused Mom even more.  My task has been damage control:  telling Mom I'll talk with my sister whenever she's willing, acknowledging and validating Mom's feelings, offering as much comfort as I can, and staying with her until she stops crying.

 

So, now you've got much more of the story.  And again, I'm sorry if I offended you.  My intent was to seek information - not to imply anything "evil" about anyone.

 

Thanks for listening, and have a joyful Holiday season.

 

 

 

Most Pagans do not top their trees with skulls.  Now, the Celts did view the skull as sacred.  When their loved ones died they would carve decorations in them as a form of rememberence, a way to remember their lost loved ones.  BUT, it is not a costum to top their trees with them.  Atleast, I haven't heard of that one before.

 

You didn't offend me, I hope I wasn't rude in my response to you, I did not mean to be.  I just wanted to tell you what I thought.  Really, I'm not a pushy or rude person. =)

 

Do you think maybe your sister calls herself evil because that's what her husbands have called her?  Sounds like, from what you have said before, that she is closed off from her family.  I do not know if that is because of her own willing or if it has something to do with the way she's been treated from her husbands.

 

I'm sorry that you can't have a relationship with your sister right now.  I really don't know what else to say, but I do understand why you are concerned, any caring person would be.

 

I wish you luck in the future with your family, sounds like you've got a lot going on.

 

Elffie

 
October 29, 2006, 3:48 pm CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: purplepenny

I guess I don't understand. This is something I have been trying to understand for a loooong time now and maybe you can answer this for me.

Why does it matter what the originator of a tradition had in mind or what their beliefs are? These things morph and evolve. I'm an atheist and I have a Christmas tree and I celebrate Halloween. These things, although started from paganism, are now secular to most people.

Why does being a Christian stop you from embracing the one time of year that many people come together on? There is a feeling of happiness and harmony in the air during December that the rest of the year lacks.  Sending a Christmas card is nice, getting one is nice.  The parties, the decorations, the music...it's all nice. It's like a party for all of man kind once a year.

And the other part I don't understand is, why is it so BAD that these things are Pagan? Pagans are good people. They are peaceful people.


And the other part I don't understand is, why is it so BAD that these things are Pagan? Pagans are good people. They are peaceful people.

 

I've wondered about that before as well.  What is so bad about it? 

 
October 29, 2006, 3:50 pm CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: real78

As far as the sister who doesn't want to celebrate holidays because they are pagin in orgin-- 

 

I'm interested in seeing whether or not she is a Jehovah's Witness.  They are known (I know a lot) to accept holiday gifts from others while not participating in celebrations themselves.  Even condemning those holidays in fact.  It truly wouldn't surprise me.

I wonder that as well, but the Jehovah witnesses I've spoken to do not accept gifts. 

 

It will be interesting to watch the show.

 
October 29, 2006, 4:33 pm CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: purplepenny

I think it's odd that she accepts gifts but doesn't celebrate the holidays. It's hypocritical IMO.  Does she buy gifts in return for these holidays?

That's what I'm wondering, I guess we'll find out in a couple days.

And I have to wonder Jetta, are you saying that all kids who trick or treat dress up "freakin lookin" and like "scary obnoxious beings"...

Also, I think you are missing a key point here. To avoid a holiday because it's have pagan roots is to suggest that paganism is bad or evil or something. Pagans are actually incredibly peaceful passive people.
 every one has thoughts and feelings on why and how they celebrate and my chiuldren do dress up and they participate in many activities. being a pagen holiday have absolutely nothing to dow ith my beliefs and why I do things. My children are missing absolutely nothing by not particiapating in going door to door, they are nt being deprived and they are happy with he activites that we do, geesh, they have more candy in this house this week then they have seen for a very long time, They have more costumes then any kid I know, they had an absolute blast at Super Hero Sunday at church as well as the Class party at school, they have their fifth activity of the week tomorrow night and they will bring home moor treats and yes, they will dress up, the scary stuff is not a loud in our home, what's the big deal?

I say to each their own and if one doesn't want to celebrate for whatever reason that it is their choice, and to accept a gift, it could be out of kindness, not wanting to offend and if others respected the fact that they don't celebrate, then they don't need to go out of their way to buy a gift, it is a choice. Trick or treat night is  aactually a fun family night for us, we celebrate in our own way and that's waht celebrating is about, having fun and being together as a family.
 
October 29, 2006, 4:47 pm CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: princess1

I too have had family members question me about not letting my son go trick or treating for halloween.  They couln'nt understand how I felt it conflicted with my religious beliefs.  What made them stop and think was when I told them it just didn't make sense to me that we spend so much time teaching our kids about "stranger danger" and how they should not take candy from strangers, and then we dress them up in costumes and take them to strange homes and make them beg for candy.  My son did not miss out on anything and he certainly was never deprived of candy; but he did learn to stand up for his beliefs.
A child does not have to go trick or treating to be happy and  to have a good time, My children have their 5th activity of the week tomorrow night and they will get more candy, treats, fun then one night of trick or treating and they dress up and  are amongst friends and absolutely nothing negative about doing the things that we choose to do.  Follow your heart, and start your own family traditions, trick or treating is not mandatory for kids to have fun, there are many options out  there and for my family, we have found some great things and they are fun and uplifting.  My five year old daughter asked me aseveral days ago about trick or treating and of course i explained to her what kids do, they dress up and go door to door and they get treats, she then asked, why we don't do that and my response to her weas, well, it something we chose not to do because we do not know the people giving out the treats,  I also reminded her of the funt hings we do at this time of year and asked her, now if I were to give you a choice of going out to trick or treat or going to this particular activity, which wuld you choose, of course. she chose the one that was full of excitement, just not the walking around getting treats. Yes, she is only five, but she is one smart gal and she loves having fun, no way is she gonna give up certain things, kids can be happy within their surroundings and teachings, it is the adults who make such a  big deal out of things, not the kids. NOw, my three year, just goes with the flow, she is clueless about trick or treating but I guarentee that she loves her little freinds and looks forward to our activites, whay? because we are a funa nd happy family and we don't miss a think when it comes to celebrating and my kids arelearning that. we may not do the trick or treating thing but we sure do know how to fun and besides, it is no one elese business, so what if you don't go trick or treating, it isn't the end of the world,LOL.
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Next | Last