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Topic : 11/01 Is This Normal?

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Created on : Friday, October 27, 2006, 02:20:08 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Do you know someone whose behavior is always making you raise an eyebrow? Dr. Phil helps his guests distinguish what's normal and what's not. Kelly says she’s tired of her husband, Scott’s, jokes. She says they’re inappropriate, obnoxious and rude. Scott admits that his jokes can be sexual in nature, but he loves being the life of the party. Will Kelly loosen up, or does Scott need to tone it down? Then, Vicki fears that she’s dying and visits the doctor at least once a week. Her husband, Harvey, says she needs to stop worrying about her health or she’s really going to make herself sick. Is it all in Vicki’s head, or does she really have a reason to be afraid? And, Shelita refuses to celebrate the holidays because she says they’re pagan festivals. Her sister, Akea, says she contradicts herself by accepting presents. Will Akea be able to embrace her sister’s decision, or is Shelita being unreasonable? Plus, Dr. Phil and Robin kick off their participation in the 2006 Toys for Tots holiday campaign! Join the discussion.

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October 29, 2006, 4:58 pm CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: lutzbups

Are you people kidding me? Usually I dislike commenting on religion or politics, but I think one if you do not have kids, back off this topic and to each their own. Second, if you have kids who cares if it has a religious intention or not! Trick or treating is not about any religious concept. We have a homecoming during high school if you want to be technical that is a pagean holiday too, because it is something done annually and at just about every school. Sure we need to be cautious, but lets remember they are KIDS, because you are too damn lazy to worry or buy candy, excuses like its a pagean holiday comes into play. I wonder if you take that into account for everything else too, or is it that you just cannot be bothered taking your kids out and doing the whole costume thing. There are things you do not want to do as parents, but remember as a kids your fond memories of just that, being a kid. I also bet that people who choose not to take part in these activities because of the so-called religion factor also had bad memories of their own from childhood, but as a wake up call, does not mean it will happen to your children, not unless you break the chain. I think that Pagean holiday and Jehavah Witness' take their own beliefs a little too far into a society that does not need or want their negative feelings toward "holidays" that they do not want to take place in.
Lazy, casue we don't take our kids trick or treating?

 You are way off ont hat one honey. My kids do not go trick or treating but they have more fun then you could even imagine. I am far from a lazy parent and you can get off your high horse thinking that kids need trick or treating, they don't!

If you choose to take them, then that is your choice, If we choose not to take them, that is opur choice, What's the big deal!!!!!!!!!! My kids will come home (already have 4 times) with more treats then one night of trick or treating, and they have fun doing it and they know every one who is giving thm treats. Dressing up is a regualr thing around here, they do it all year long, who needs trick or treatign to do that and yes they dress up for their activities. So far theis year, my oldest has been a princess and super girl, my youngest has been a cat and a firefighter, yep, lazy paretn here!

Get over it people, not every one takes their kids trick or treating but our kids are happy and having fun, that's what the holidays are for.
 
October 29, 2006, 5:07 pm CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: purplepenny

I think it's odd that she accepts gifts but doesn't celebrate the holidays. It's hypocritical IMO.  Does she buy gifts in return for these holidays?

That's what I'm wondering, I guess we'll find out in a couple days.

And I have to wonder Jetta, are you saying that all kids who trick or treat dress up "freakin lookin" and like "scary obnoxious beings"...

Also, I think you are missing a key point here. To avoid a holiday because it's have pagan roots is to suggest that paganism is bad or evil or something. Pagans are actually incredibly peaceful passive people.
We have decided that we do not want our kids dressed up as scary and bloody beings, first of all, my oldest will have nightmares and they are unnessary in my home. I personally think it is wrong to dress a child like that but like I always say, to each their own and if their kids are ok with it, then go for it but my kids will not go that route, it's something that hubby anbd I have already discussed and there will be boundaries to the dressing up as they get older and like all households, boundaries have to be set, no two households will agree on boundaries, especially when it comes to parenting, that's life,a nd though our boundaries in my home may not politically correst,t ehy stand as they are. We might not be the most popular on our block but who cares, that is not my goal in parenting. I am sure there are things that you do and do not do that opthers disagree with but it doesn't make it wrong, it is called setting boundaries within your home, what is appropiate for you may not be appropiate for me and vice versa, and that is ok.  I know there are kids who dres up cute as my girls do but in all seriousness, I don't understand why people want to dress their littleones with the scary stuff, doesn't make sense to me but that is them not me, I have chosen not to go that route. Right or worng, doesn't matter, we are not going there in my household.
 
October 29, 2006, 9:40 pm CST

Holy Cow!

Quote From: real78

As far as the sister who doesn't want to celebrate holidays because they are pagin in orgin-- 

 

I'm interested in seeing whether or not she is a Jehovah's Witness.  They are known (I know a lot) to accept holiday gifts from others while not participating in celebrations themselves.  Even condemning those holidays in fact.  It truly wouldn't surprise me.

As one of Jehovah's Witnesses, i can tell you that we shouldn't be accepting gifts for holiday's.  It makes me sad to think you may have been exposed to some hypocritical people who gave you the wrong idea about the way we believe!  I am also interested to see if this person is one of Jehovah's Witnesses, i guess we'll have to wait and see!
 
October 30, 2006, 6:31 am CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: elffie

I think that Pagean holiday and Jehavah Witness' take their own beliefs a little too far into a society that does not need or want their negative feelings toward "holidays" that they do not want to take place in.

 

How is that?  I don't think Pagan beliefs are negative at all.  And Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate any holidays, incuding birthdays, we Pagans surely do celebrate things!  What does Jehovah Witnesses have to do with this topic anyway?  Why did you bring them in?  Do you know what Pagan beliefs even are?  I have Jehova Witnesses coming to my house and I can tell you that we do not agree on much. LOL

 

And Samhain (Halloween) is a holiday started by Pagans.  So there is a spiritual connection.  Paganism is a nature based religion.  Samhain has many meanings, but for the whole it is the third and final harvest of the year, and it is a time to remember the dead and is a celebration of the eternal cycle of reincarnation.  Samhain comes from two possibilites, one, the God of death, Samana, and the other from the Irish Gaelic word, "samhraidhreadh" which literally means, "the summer's end".  October 31 st marked the end of the year and November 1st was the Celtic New Year.

 

Trick or treating is not about any religious concept.

 

I will say that food was left out for ancestors and other spirits and would be left out of the lighted window, which evolved to our modern day trick or treat.  Candles were put in the windows to guide the earth bound spirits along their way.  Also, Samhain is no more evil than any other holiday, but my ancestors did know that evil exists.  So, they would take vegetables and carve faces in them and put them outside because they thought this would protect them.  Our modern day jack o lanterns. =)  In Ireland, to this day, it is still a custom to put candles in the windows on Samhain night and leave plates of food for visiting spirits.

 

As you can see, Samhain has a long history, much like lots of Pagan traditions.

 

Again, I don't see anything negative about our beliefs.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

 

I am basically saying who cares let the kids trick or treat does everything have to have some deep seeded meaning in order to do something? I brought up Jehova Witnesses, because I feel that they have gotten rid of holidays (lets just say) and thats what is sounds like a lot people here are trying to do, lets not get rid of all the fun, does it REALLY matter  as long as it does not question anyone morals or values??? Sure holidays have become commericalized, but to not participate in a tradition for children and take that away, believe me it goes noticed, again, what about all the other shall we say silly traditions we have that have no meaning whatsoever, would they miss out on that if we took that away too? Homecoming, Prom, New Year's Eve, etc.

 
October 30, 2006, 6:49 am CST

Thanks for the support

Quote From: jettav

A child does not have to go trick or treating to be happy and  to have a good time, My children have their 5th activity of the week tomorrow night and they will get more candy, treats, fun then one night of trick or treating and they dress up and  are amongst friends and absolutely nothing negative about doing the things that we choose to do.  Follow your heart, and start your own family traditions, trick or treating is not mandatory for kids to have fun, there are many options out  there and for my family, we have found some great things and they are fun and uplifting.  My five year old daughter asked me aseveral days ago about trick or treating and of course i explained to her what kids do, they dress up and go door to door and they get treats, she then asked, why we don't do that and my response to her weas, well, it something we chose not to do because we do not know the people giving out the treats,  I also reminded her of the funt hings we do at this time of year and asked her, now if I were to give you a choice of going out to trick or treat or going to this particular activity, which wuld you choose, of course. she chose the one that was full of excitement, just not the walking around getting treats. Yes, she is only five, but she is one smart gal and she loves having fun, no way is she gonna give up certain things, kids can be happy within their surroundings and teachings, it is the adults who make such a  big deal out of things, not the kids. NOw, my three year, just goes with the flow, she is clueless about trick or treating but I guarentee that she loves her little freinds and looks forward to our activites, whay? because we are a funa nd happy family and we don't miss a think when it comes to celebrating and my kids arelearning that. we may not do the trick or treating thing but we sure do know how to fun and besides, it is no one elese business, so what if you don't go trick or treating, it isn't the end of the world,LOL.
 That is what we have done, start our own family traditions.  "Family" has taken a whole new meaning for us, as most of the people in our "family of origin" have nothing to do with us because we are "no fun".  (We don't drink until we pass out or wreck our cars)  I acutally had a family member say there was something wrong with my son because "He is 16 years old and he isn't anybody's baby daddy yet"  (when did that become a bad thing?)  We have the most awsome church family anyone could ask for, and when push came to shove our church family is always there for us.  We have become a very close family, and I believe we will stay this way becuase we are close all the time and not just at holiday time or when someone wants something.
 
October 30, 2006, 6:51 am CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: jettav

We have decided that we do not want our kids dressed up as scary and bloody beings, first of all, my oldest will have nightmares and they are unnessary in my home. I personally think it is wrong to dress a child like that but like I always say, to each their own and if their kids are ok with it, then go for it but my kids will not go that route, it's something that hubby anbd I have already discussed and there will be boundaries to the dressing up as they get older and like all households, boundaries have to be set, no two households will agree on boundaries, especially when it comes to parenting, that's life,a nd though our boundaries in my home may not politically correst,t ehy stand as they are. We might not be the most popular on our block but who cares, that is not my goal in parenting. I am sure there are things that you do and do not do that opthers disagree with but it doesn't make it wrong, it is called setting boundaries within your home, what is appropiate for you may not be appropiate for me and vice versa, and that is ok.  I know there are kids who dres up cute as my girls do but in all seriousness, I don't understand why people want to dress their littleones with the scary stuff, doesn't make sense to me but that is them not me, I have chosen not to go that route. Right or worng, doesn't matter, we are not going there in my household.

I also don't understand the dressing up looking scary.  Some people tend to believe this is an evil time of the year, which it is NOT, and so they go with the majority and dress us scary and rent scary movies, which is fine by me, but I do wish they knew the real meaning behind Samhain (Halloween).  We call if Samhain in my home and my son already knows a little bit of why we celebrate it.  We will go trick and treating, but that is not the main focus for us.  We remember our ancestors and celebrate all of our good fortune.  After all, this was the end of  the year for the Celts and November 1st marked the New Celtic Year.  My ancestors celebrated this and I am just keeping the traditions alive. =)

 

 

 
October 30, 2006, 7:06 am CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: elffie

And the other part I don't understand is, why is it so BAD that these things are Pagan? Pagans are good people. They are peaceful people.

 

I've wondered about that before as well.  What is so bad about it? 

I'm glad somebody finally asked that.  People get much too wound up about atheists, agnostics, and pagans.  I mean, we're cool but we're really just ordinary people.

 

*****

 

I'm an atheist myself (which doesn't make me an anarchist, Satan worshipper, or debauchee, in spite of what you may have heard).  Got a quotation on my gmail homepage the other day that made me laugh:

 

"We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in.  Some of us just go one god further."  (Richard Dawkins)

 

 
October 30, 2006, 8:35 am CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Bottom line to the holidays is that we have options  and can decide for ourselves what we want to teach and celebrate with our kids and too bad if others don't like our choice. Me not taking my kids trick or treating does no harm to anyone, including my kids so really, I don't see what the big deal is. My family is unique as it is mostly just me, hubby and my two little ones, and how we celebrate is awesome and int he process of it all, we have fun, my three year old today is excited about tonighte festivities, because she will spend the whole evening amongst her best little friends on hay rides, roasting marhmellows and hot dogs, singing and dancing, running, and going on her rounds for the goodies to take home, she can't decide which costme she wants to wear, one minute she wants to be a flower, then a kitty and then her fire fighter, LOL, guess it is gonna be a surprise. Holidays are fun and full of great surprises for us, and if every one would just celebrate and not worry about what others are doing then the time would be very well spent. It's a new season, a time to rejoice nad celebrate and that is what my famil has been doing and I am in the process of making plans for next month as well as December, not a dull moment in my home.....................
 
October 30, 2006, 9:17 am CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: jettav

Bottom line to the holidays is that we have options  and can decide for ourselves what we want to teach and celebrate with our kids and too bad if others don't like our choice. Me not taking my kids trick or treating does no harm to anyone, including my kids so really, I don't see what the big deal is. My family is unique as it is mostly just me, hubby and my two little ones, and how we celebrate is awesome and int he process of it all, we have fun, my three year old today is excited about tonighte festivities, because she will spend the whole evening amongst her best little friends on hay rides, roasting marhmellows and hot dogs, singing and dancing, running, and going on her rounds for the goodies to take home, she can't decide which costme she wants to wear, one minute she wants to be a flower, then a kitty and then her fire fighter, LOL, guess it is gonna be a surprise. Holidays are fun and full of great surprises for us, and if every one would just celebrate and not worry about what others are doing then the time would be very well spent. It's a new season, a time to rejoice nad celebrate and that is what my famil has been doing and I am in the process of making plans for next month as well as December, not a dull moment in my home.....................

It's a new season, a time to rejoice nad celebrate and that is what my famil has been doing....

 

Yes!  That is what Samhain is about!  LOL  That's what we do as well.  It's also a celebration of the changing of the season,  the last Harvest.  It's an Earthly celebration!  Some of the traditions that we do today, such as bonfires, and pumpkin carving are what the people did in the Old days. 

 

I say, as long as you are having fun doing something, and it's not harming others, go right ahead!  Celebrate!  Doesn't matter what you call it, because really, we are all celebrating the same thing. =)

 
October 30, 2006, 9:43 am CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: kleesun

I'm glad somebody finally asked that.  People get much too wound up about atheists, agnostics, and pagans.  I mean, we're cool but we're really just ordinary people.

 

*****

 

I'm an atheist myself (which doesn't make me an anarchist, Satan worshipper, or debauchee, in spite of what you may have heard).  Got a quotation on my gmail homepage the other day that made me laugh:

 

"We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in.  Some of us just go one god further."  (Richard Dawkins)

 

I was wondering the same thing Purplepenny was.  I'm Pagan and beleive me, I have been called some names in the past as well, including satan worshipper, when the funny thing is, we don't believe in him, how could we worship something we don't believe in?

 

Anyway, no one has been able to answer this yet.  You would think that they think it's bad because they say it has Pagan origins, well, why is it so bad?  Why couldn't the guest say that she doesn't celebrate it because she's afraid of the cosutmes, but no she specifically said because of it's Pagan origins.  Atleast that's what the descriptions says, we'll have to wait to see what else she says.

 

I never thought Athiests are devilworshippers, I understand about misconceptions and so I am not quick too make assumptions.  One of my friends on here is Athiest as well, that's Purplepenny.  She's a good, sweet hearted person.

 

Thanks for reading. =)

 
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