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Topic : 11/01 Is This Normal?

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Created on : Friday, October 27, 2006, 02:20:08 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Do you know someone whose behavior is always making you raise an eyebrow? Dr. Phil helps his guests distinguish what's normal and what's not. Kelly says she’s tired of her husband, Scott’s, jokes. She says they’re inappropriate, obnoxious and rude. Scott admits that his jokes can be sexual in nature, but he loves being the life of the party. Will Kelly loosen up, or does Scott need to tone it down? Then, Vicki fears that she’s dying and visits the doctor at least once a week. Her husband, Harvey, says she needs to stop worrying about her health or she’s really going to make herself sick. Is it all in Vicki’s head, or does she really have a reason to be afraid? And, Shelita refuses to celebrate the holidays because she says they’re pagan festivals. Her sister, Akea, says she contradicts herself by accepting presents. Will Akea be able to embrace her sister’s decision, or is Shelita being unreasonable? Plus, Dr. Phil and Robin kick off their participation in the 2006 Toys for Tots holiday campaign! Join the discussion.

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October 30, 2006, 10:45 am CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: elffie

It's a new season, a time to rejoice nad celebrate and that is what my famil has been doing....

 

Yes!  That is what Samhain is about!  LOL  That's what we do as well.  It's also a celebration of the changing of the season,  the last Harvest.  It's an Earthly celebration!  Some of the traditions that we do today, such as bonfires, and pumpkin carving are what the people did in the Old days. 

 

I say, as long as you are having fun doing something, and it's not harming others, go right ahead!  Celebrate!  Doesn't matter what you call it, because really, we are all celebrating the same thing. =)

I persoanlly take every opportunity to celebrate everything I can with my kids and yes, I do include My  God in our celebrations  and to me the way I do things should not be offensive to others, it should not give them the excuse to accuse me of being selfish and lazy as a parent, in the same way that you are accused of being a devil worshipper, A Christian gets accused of not caring for others when in all reality, it is so off base. We, talking about my family don't get into the traditions of "society's" way of celebrating at this time of the year and to me, I haven't figure out what the big deal is. And thereis nothing wrong with creating new traditions, I am in the process of preparing for the Thanksgiving and Christmas season and coming up with new traditions for our family, eventual, I will proabbaly  be accused of doing things wrong and being off base with the holiday, but it's my family celebration so, it really shouldn't bother others. I like the old ways of celebrating but why do people think it is wrong to create new ones and leave an old tradition out, such  as trick or treating at this time of year? I think it is because THEY are offended and  THEY feel threatened, therefore they must ridicule and to me that is a sad thing. I celebrate my way cause it works and it is fun and full of many blessings.......................
 
October 30, 2006, 12:42 pm CST

how sad

Quote From: faeryedark

 This brings back sooo many memories for me. When I was in school, I had a close friend whose parents wouldn't let her swim in gym class.It  was a religous thing. She always sat out.

well, she lived nearby and her parents liked us (oddly enough). One summer, she pestered me to teach her to swim. We were about 11 and I refused. Her father was a force unto himself and I was afraid she'd get in alot of trouble if he found out..

 Sadly, a few years later (the day after school let out for summer) My friend and her little sister were found (dead) fully clothed in a neighbor's pool. The dogs they'd been walking,stood nearby sopping wet. She was 16 and her sister was 11. Noone's really sure what happened. sometimes I still wonder should I've taught her to swim? Would it have been any help to her? I know people panic even when they know how. The water was  5ft. deep.

I don't blame you,I'd feel the same way, only I think I'd burn that sign.

that is such a sad story?  what religion were they?  I've never heard of  a religion not letting kids learn to swim, that just seems like a silly and ignorant thing to me!  I'm one Jehovah's Witnesses and my parents encouraged me to take those swimming classes, they didn't want me to drown someday.  But back to the topic of the person on the show taking presents and not actually celebrating the holidays, i was in bed last night thinking that even if she is one of Jehovah's witnesses, they probably wouldn't mention it on the show.  The producers usually don't want to risk offending any one religious  denomination.  This should be a good show all around i think, because as far as i'm concerned, nobody is really 'normal'...least of all me!!!
 
October 30, 2006, 4:21 pm CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: hotmomma79

That little girls parents should have been more aware of what was going on at her school and maybe should have kept her home the day of birthday celebrations.  I know my daughter doesn't mind one little bit when there is birthday stuff going on, but i had some friends when i was little whose parents never explained to them why they shouldn't celebrate birthdays and holidays, so it was really hard on them.  As far as the necklace saying she wouldn't accept blood, you would have no business tossing aside her parents desicion to their daughters health care.  That is her families personal desicion, and even if you had tossed that necklace aside, her parents are the ones who ultimately make the decision how their child is to be treated.  In all fairness to you, they should have explained why we don't accept blood, because your not knowing puts you in an awckward position.  I'm also blown away that they didn't want you to call an ambulance.  If my little girl got hurt at school, i would absolutley want them to call me and an ambulance!

Okay, so can you explain to us why you don't celebrate any holidays or birthdays?
 
October 30, 2006, 5:24 pm CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: hotmomma79

that is such a sad story?  what religion were they?  I've never heard of  a religion not letting kids learn to swim, that just seems like a silly and ignorant thing to me!  I'm one Jehovah's Witnesses and my parents encouraged me to take those swimming classes, they didn't want me to drown someday.  But back to the topic of the person on the show taking presents and not actually celebrating the holidays, i was in bed last night thinking that even if she is one of Jehovah's witnesses, they probably wouldn't mention it on the show.  The producers usually don't want to risk offending any one religious  denomination.  This should be a good show all around i think, because as far as i'm concerned, nobody is really 'normal'...least of all me!!!
 I"m not sure really, I'd always thought they were an offshoot of Mennonite as the girls always wore dresses. I believe the reason they couldn't take part in swim classes was because they'd have to wear bathing suits and swim w/the boys.I know their parents didn't want them to wear bathing suits.  They of course, didn't trick or treat either and I don't know what they did about Christmas at home.
 
October 30, 2006, 5:30 pm CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: elffie

Okay, so can you explain to us why you don't celebrate any holidays or birthdays?

Oh man, i'm not sure this is the best forum for me to explain that.  I don't even know where i would begin! (That and my twin babies are screaming at me ;) ).  There are different reasons for every holiday, but it's not something that we do to make other people feel bad about doing it themselves.  I would never judge someone based on what they believe.  I have a very dear friend who is pagan and i love her to bits.  I aslo appreciate her input on different situations and her respect for the earth.  I guess i just don't want to offend anyone by something i say.  You mentioned that one of Jehovah's Witness comes to your door, so next time she comes over,  ask her.  I always prefer talking to people face to face because i like to see expressions and hear tone of voice and such.

 

But you know, now that i think about it, if you ask me about a specific holiday, i caould explain it to you, how about we do that?

 
October 30, 2006, 5:33 pm CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: faeryedark

 I"m not sure really, I'd always thought they were an offshoot of Mennonite as the girls always wore dresses. I believe the reason they couldn't take part in swim classes was because they'd have to wear bathing suits and swim w/the boys.I know their parents didn't want them to wear bathing suits.  They of course, didn't trick or treat either and I don't know what they did about Christmas at home.
that would make sense, they are very modest about such things.
 
October 30, 2006, 7:25 pm CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: hotmomma79

Oh man, i'm not sure this is the best forum for me to explain that.  I don't even know where i would begin! (That and my twin babies are screaming at me ;) ).  There are different reasons for every holiday, but it's not something that we do to make other people feel bad about doing it themselves.  I would never judge someone based on what they believe.  I have a very dear friend who is pagan and i love her to bits.  I aslo appreciate her input on different situations and her respect for the earth.  I guess i just don't want to offend anyone by something i say.  You mentioned that one of Jehovah's Witness comes to your door, so next time she comes over,  ask her.  I always prefer talking to people face to face because i like to see expressions and hear tone of voice and such.

 

But you know, now that i think about it, if you ask me about a specific holiday, i caould explain it to you, how about we do that?

Yeah, we could do that. =) 

 

If you are not comfortable about talking about it here, there is a "Debating Among different religious beliefs" board.  After you log on, it's under "News and Current Events" on the bottom right hand corner of the page.  I think it's the second or third page after you get in there.  But there are Pagans that post there as well, so you might get some responses, but you would get that here as well.  There are Christians that post there as well and a couple Athiest, it's a very diverse board. =)

 

And when I read, I try to read it as if the person who's writing is being kind, not rude, but there are some posts that come out that way, some of mine come out that way and was not intended to.  So, when I read your posts I will keep in mind that you are not saying these things to be rude, only that you are sharing what you believe.  Please keep that in mind when you read my posts as well. =)

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

 

Elffie

 
October 31, 2006, 8:50 am CST

elffie knows her stuff!

Quote From: elffie

I don't do any over the top buying when holidays come around.  We make our own wreaths and get our own tree (has to be real!).  My kids only get 3 gifts each, that's it.  But you see, these decorations are how my ancestors celebrated and I like to carry on the tradition. =)   

 

I wonder what the originator of Christmas thinks about it, though. 

 

Hmm, I don't know if we could go back and ask them.  In an attempt to convert Pagans, Christians brought the Pagan traditions into their festivities.  Hasn't anyone ever wondered why Christmas is celebrated so closely to the Winter Solstice?  Jesus wasn't even born in winter. 

 

I don't have any post holiday let downs as well.  I really don't like crowded shopping malls and try to avoid them if I can. LOL  I agree with you on that one! LOL  I'm glad that you can celebrate it your own way and feel really good about it. 

 

Again, this is another holiday celebrating this Earth and all that is in it.  Joy to the world!

 

Thanks for reading.

 

 

thank you for bringing out that Jesus wasn't born on Dec.25!  You really seem to have a good handle on where holidays originate and knowledge is power.  So many people seem to blinldy celebrate these holidays, i think it is good to know exactly what you are ceebrating.  You go girl!! 
 
October 31, 2006, 2:16 pm CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: jettav

 every one has thoughts and feelings on why and how they celebrate and my chiuldren do dress up and they participate in many activities. being a pagen holiday have absolutely nothing to dow ith my beliefs and why I do things. My children are missing absolutely nothing by not particiapating in going door to door, they are nt being deprived and they are happy with he activites that we do, geesh, they have more candy in this house this week then they have seen for a very long time, They have more costumes then any kid I know, they had an absolute blast at Super Hero Sunday at church as well as the Class party at school, they have their fifth activity of the week tomorrow night and they will bring home moor treats and yes, they will dress up, the scary stuff is not a loud in our home, what's the big deal?

I say to each their own and if one doesn't want to celebrate for whatever reason that it is their choice, and to accept a gift, it could be out of kindness, not wanting to offend and if others respected the fact that they don't celebrate, then they don't need to go out of their way to buy a gift, it is a choice. Trick or treat night is  aactually a fun family night for us, we celebrate in our own way and that's waht celebrating is about, having fun and being together as a family.
I'm not saying that  people can't do what they want and celebrate how they want. I'm an atheist and I still listen to Christmas hymns (Christian) and I still have a Christmas tree (Pagan) and if I see pretty Hanukkah paper I buy it to wrap presents in (Jewish)...LOL.

I'm ALL FOR celebrating how you want...

My question though, was, you said something about kids dressing up freaky looking and acting obnoxious. I wasn't clear on what you meant by that.

And what do you mean by "scary stuff"...Halloween isn't actually scary, so I don't understand where you draw the line.


 
October 31, 2006, 6:02 pm CST

11/01 Is This Normal?

Quote From: purplepenny

I'm not saying that  people can't do what they want and celebrate how they want. I'm an atheist and I still listen to Christmas hymns (Christian) and I still have a Christmas tree (Pagan) and if I see pretty Hanukkah paper I buy it to wrap presents in (Jewish)...LOL.

I'm ALL FOR celebrating how you want...

My question though, was, you said something about kids dressing up freaky looking and acting obnoxious. I wasn't clear on what you meant by that.

And what do you mean by "scary stuff"...Halloween isn't actually scary, so I don't understand where you draw the line.


There are people who dress freaky for Halloween , we face that even at our church at our functions, we often have to remind the teen agers that they are not to dress like bloody beings because we have little kids there, and I for one had to approach a couple kids at one of our functions to show his face to he kid I used to babysit, he was scared to death until he saw that this person was pretending  and yes there are some people who make Halloween scary and there are a lot of people, mostly teens who do play pranks during this time of year, people have to draw the line where ever they feel the need to which is what I have done in my household.
 Every one is gonna be differentt with those boundaries, I just so happen to draw the line within my household that offends some others but there is nothing I can do about that, I have my rules in my home, we don't do the traditional Halloween stuff such as trick or treating, Haunted Houses, we do not decorate for this holiday, what's the big deal! it isn't but when people ask why we don't do all that stuff, they get uptight about it, and there is no reason for it. Just like they get uptight if they see a Cross in the lawn of a public building, who cares! Again, this is the time of year we have fun and my girls get all positive from it and that is the way it is suppose to be.

Have a nice week, don't plan on being on for a bit, The beginning of November, the holiday season is upon us and we have plenty to do including some school activities that I volunteered to help with.
 
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