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Topic : 03/13 Gorgeous Isn’t Enough

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Created on : Friday, October 27, 2006, 02:25:38 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/02/06) Have you ever thought: Pretty people get all the breaks? Well, even some of the most beautiful people have a rough time in the love department. Rebecca dated Dyson for eight years and knew he was a cheater, but thought marrying him would change his ways. Dyson says he married Rebecca because she "earned it," but says he doesn't like that the ring on his finger hinders women from coming up to him. Rebecca suspects that Dyson has cheated on her since they've been married. Is she right? See what makes Dyson storm offstage. Then, Tiffany says when her husband, George, lost 50 pounds, he started gagging at the sight of her body. So, she got $20,000 worth of plastic surgery, hoping he would only have eyes for her. But it wasn't enough to keep George faithful. Tiffany says she's more gorgeous than any of the women he had affairs with, so why isn't her husband looking her way? Talk about the show here.

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October 29, 2006, 10:52 am CST

11/02 Gorgeous Isn’t Enough

Quote From: breezienme

NO MAN IS WORTH CRYING OVER *****AND***** THE ONE THAT IS, DOESN"T MAKE YOU CRY!!!
That's a nice Hallmark greeting, but that isn't always true.
 
October 29, 2006, 10:56 am CST

11/02 Gorgeous Isn’t Enough

Quote From: amani_santana

 Not to have an argument with you but i completely disagree with your statement about overweight people getting treated differently.---Although it may be true that at first glance we tend to look at the slimmer (Fit) person first, but if an overweight person comes in for an interview and has all the confidence and personality in the world, walking in like they know they are  gorgeous and any  one would be happy to be with them( and dress appropriately) i would be more drawn to the overweight person then the Fit Club.  I don't believe with our society the way it is that we put as much emphasis on weight so much as style how they carry themselves, how great they get along with other people. Now a lot of overweight people come into a building with a miserable look on their faces, and have the attitude of " you better not tell me anything about my weight" and want special treatment because they feel they don't get the same breaks as skinnier people and everyone owes them something. Now you know as well as i do NO BODY is going to want to be around someone who has a" I hate the world" attitude. Monique from the show The Parkers is a perfect example of what i am talking about. Any body can pull of being big, it just depends on how Gracefully you do it.
Not true. I have been normal weight and I have been very fat. It's a vicious circle, I got treated worse and worse as I gained weight and in turn I because less and less confident.

So I have personally seen it all. And I have heard it all. Fat people who are confident are often times chided behind their backs about how a "fat girl shouldn't act like that" and that sort of thing. How a fat girl shouldn't bother. And when fat women dress nice I have heard people call them "polished turds"...

So, I wish what you were saying is true, but it's not.
 
October 29, 2006, 12:11 pm CST

Liars, cheaters and beaters....

What I would like to say to Rebecca about Dyson is:  Liars, cheaters and beaters NEVER change!!!  If he cheats on you once, shame on him!  If you accept his behavior and he cheats on you twice,  shame on you!  Youre only teaching him that you'll accept him back each and every time he cheats on you!  But oh yeah, "You earned it!"
 
October 29, 2006, 2:18 pm CST

i'm sorry

Quote From: purplepenny

Not true. I have been normal weight and I have been very fat. It's a vicious circle, I got treated worse and worse as I gained weight and in turn I because less and less confident.

So I have personally seen it all. And I have heard it all. Fat people who are confident are often times chided behind their backs about how a "fat girl shouldn't act like that" and that sort of thing. How a fat girl shouldn't bother. And when fat women dress nice I have heard people call them "polished turds"...

So, I wish what you were saying is true, but it's not.
I'm sorry ....you are right in a way. People can be very cruel with their jokes and the way they talk behind your back.  I am about 210lbs and i am about 5' 6in tall. to me that is hefty. I have 4 children and my youngest is 10 months old. I have been  ( in my hay day) about 137lbs, you know because i was top heavy ( if you know what i mean) and i had the abs of steel. Oh Yes I looked and felt gooooood. But as my weight went up then down the up again i started to feel insecure only because i was happy with myself when i was 137lbs, and i thought i would never see that again. Now of course i am a HEFTY woman, and people look at me, but sometimes they look at me because i look good for my size. Certain days i feel they are looking at me because of my size. I'll let you know what my mother used to tell me. " With your focus on people, they will find the insecure, with your focus on high, you'll find pep in your stride." That has helped me a lot. I still find myself going back into the "I want to be skinny again world", but i know that with all of my curves, with my hips, and my swerve--- my lips, my mind, my soft behind:)--my eyes so bright it stops sunlight---in my quest for a dream. I forget I'm a Queen. People will notice that too.
 
October 29, 2006, 4:01 pm CST

11/02 Gorgeous Isn’t Enough

Quote From: amani_santana

I'm sorry ....you are right in a way. People can be very cruel with their jokes and the way they talk behind your back.  I am about 210lbs and i am about 5' 6in tall. to me that is hefty. I have 4 children and my youngest is 10 months old. I have been  ( in my hay day) about 137lbs, you know because i was top heavy ( if you know what i mean) and i had the abs of steel. Oh Yes I looked and felt gooooood. But as my weight went up then down the up again i started to feel insecure only because i was happy with myself when i was 137lbs, and i thought i would never see that again. Now of course i am a HEFTY woman, and people look at me, but sometimes they look at me because i look good for my size. Certain days i feel they are looking at me because of my size. I'll let you know what my mother used to tell me. " With your focus on people, they will find the insecure, with your focus on high, you'll find pep in your stride." That has helped me a lot. I still find myself going back into the "I want to be skinny again world", but i know that with all of my curves, with my hips, and my swerve--- my lips, my mind, my soft behind:)--my eyes so bright it stops sunlight---in my quest for a dream. I forget I'm a Queen. People will notice that too.
I'm far too self loathing at this point to think any of those things about myself.
 
October 29, 2006, 9:42 pm CST

11/02 Gorgeous Isn’t Enough

Quote From: addi_nanny

No, Gorgeous isn't enough in some circumstances.A number of times I've seen experiments in which a poorly qualified attractive person and a qualified less-attractive person apply for the same job--the more attractive candidate (and less qualified) is usually the successful one. Does this apply to matters of the heart? No, not necessarily IMHO. Sure, the exterior package is the initial attraction for most people, but once you unwrap that package... ************* I'm married to a man who society would consider handsome. At 35 he caused 20 somethings to titter and flirt; at 53 he still turns heads. And he chose to marry me, admittedly plain, plump, and unassuming. And I chose to overcome my own feelings that I was too plain for a handsome man. Why? In his own words, he had had enough of beautiful girls who attempted to catch his eye but could not engage his mind. He chose my sense of humor and crookedly wry view of the world over a set of physical characteristics others might envy because he wanted to be able to talk to his life partner for his entire life, not just a few weeks or years. We both think we're incredibly lucky to have found each other, a feeling that continues even after 25 years. ************* In love, it should be between the ears and not dependent on some other part or parts of the body perhaps arranged in a pleasing sort of way. Ideally it should, but we as a society have come to discount internal, intellectual appearance in favor of beauty. Sad, really. ************* Do I feel inadequate? Occasionally. Does he? Yes, he says so occasionally. How do we deal with it? We talk about how much we value those unseen qualities that are the glue holding us together. Next time you see a plain woman with a handsome man, or a plain man with a knock-dead gorgeous woman, smile. They've made it past the external into what really matters.
I will smile now thanks to your comment.  You have made my day.
 
October 30, 2006, 5:17 am CST

It's not how you,look it's what you do!

No!! I don't think that attractive people get all the luck. I am not a size 12 and haven't been since I was twelve, but I have ways that attract men and keep them coming back.The way I treat myself 1rst! and the way I treat them second. I've always had very attractive men in my life, I'm not ugly just not skinny, I went through the insecurities as I was growing up, then one day I said "The Hell With It,I'm what really matters.!!! The fact that I feel as though I don't need a man is what makes me desirable. I think that when people are so close to perfect they tend to be more in denial that someone can mistreat them because they're so beautiful. I truly think you reap what you so and these overly attractive people need to look back and remember more than likely the people they treated like crap over the years and then understand why they're dealing with these type of situations.Personality is what counts! You can be the most beautiful person in the world on the outside and the ugliest son of a so & so on the inside which people will learn when they get to know you.
 
October 30, 2006, 6:18 am CST

Confidence Attracts Others

Is it really that the better looking person gets the job or mate because of their looks, or is it that they have a higher level of confidence and that's what is really making the difference? I have known some unattractive people with mediocre personalities who were filled with self confidence and believed in themselves. These people had no problems in the dating department, or job department. If you are overweight and loving it, and feeling confident about who you are, you're going to find success. But many people pick themselves apart, telling themselves they aren't good looking enough, they aren't smart enough. Have you ever seen a picture of Jennifer Lopez before she was famous (couldn't pick her out of a crowd) or Oprah with no make up. (She's no  diva), but they chose to live their dreams, they had the desire to be successful. Could you imagine where Oprah would be today if she thought she was too fat for T.V. or not pretty enough to have her own show. People need to get over their superficial limitations and find their passion for life. Forget the air brushed pictures of models, they don't exist. Self confidence is what is truly attractive. So think positive, when you truly love yourself and feel confident, others will see how beautiful you are inside and out.
 
October 30, 2006, 10:58 am CST

Never say never...

Quote From: ladybird1

What I would like to say to Rebecca about Dyson is:  Liars, cheaters and beaters NEVER change!!!  If he cheats on you once, shame on him!  If you accept his behavior and he cheats on you twice,  shame on you!  Youre only teaching him that you'll accept him back each and every time he cheats on you!  But oh yeah, "You earned it!"
Now, now...Never say never! We're all human beings here, & we all make mistakes. I bet that he keeps cheating on her just for more sex. You know, once you have it, you'll want to go back for more, & more, & more. It's never ending, & it can be very addicting. I don't know what was going through Dyson's mind when he said on the preview "It's OK to cheat", "Cheating is not wrong", etc. I feel sorry for people like him when they say that, because obviously people like him haven't been taught by their parents on how to respect men & women in general when they say stuff like that. Now, I'm not going to bash him like Rebecca, Dr. Phil, & the audience has done, but he does need to grow up & get his priorities straight. He's doing himself a great disservice by continuing to do those things to her, & she really loves him & cares about him. Dyson IS a good person, & I believe that everyone has good inside of them somewhere. They just have to see it for themselves. Sometimes, I just think that we all can't help who we fall in love with. That's what I think.
 
October 31, 2006, 8:42 am CST

wow that's crazy

Quote From: manofgoods

Now, now...Never say never! We're all human beings here, & we all make mistakes. I bet that he keeps cheating on her just for more sex. You know, once you have it, you'll want to go back for more, & more, & more. It's never ending, & it can be very addicting. I don't know what was going through Dyson's mind when he said on the preview "It's OK to cheat", "Cheating is not wrong", etc. I feel sorry for people like him when they say that, because obviously people like him haven't been taught by their parents on how to respect men & women in general when they say stuff like that. Now, I'm not going to bash him like Rebecca, Dr. Phil, & the audience has done, but he does need to grow up & get his priorities straight. He's doing himself a great disservice by continuing to do those things to her, & she really loves him & cares about him. Dyson IS a good person, & I believe that everyone has good inside of them somewhere. They just have to see it for themselves. Sometimes, I just think that we all can't help who we fall in love with. That's what I think.

i know ex can be addictive, but why can't he have this addiction with the person he is with. yes cheaters can change it just depends on the reasons why we cheat in the first place. I don't know, but i think there may be some issue that we don't quite know about in their relationship that gives him the OK to go do his thing. Neglected, unappreciated, sexual incompatible all may be some reasons on why he looks else where. Now another reason he might think its o.k is  she might have already given him the O.K.

This is what I mean. We already know she is in love with him so much so that she would do Anything for him. Well we also know he likes a lot of women, so what if they had a threesome and acts as if she is o k with looking and being with other women in the relationship. I mean she married him even though he has cheated on her a # of times why would that not be so feasible that he feel its OK because at one point she was cool with it and now she is mad because he has gone too far with it? Who knows. Point of the matter is If he cheated the first time and she told him that it hurt her, and he really cared about her and saw just how hurt she really was, he would never do it again. And if he did it might just be out of habit, but by the third time the relationship is no good and you either need counseling or just get out of the relationship. Don't that phone calls/ break all forms of communication cause if he can call you you reopen wounds and fall right back into the trap again. be careful cheaters can change but you have to too.

 
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