Message Boards

Topic : 03/13 Gorgeous Isn’t Enough

Number of Replies: 372
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, October 27, 2006, 02:25:38 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/02/06) Have you ever thought: Pretty people get all the breaks? Well, even some of the most beautiful people have a rough time in the love department. Rebecca dated Dyson for eight years and knew he was a cheater, but thought marrying him would change his ways. Dyson says he married Rebecca because she "earned it," but says he doesn't like that the ring on his finger hinders women from coming up to him. Rebecca suspects that Dyson has cheated on her since they've been married. Is she right? See what makes Dyson storm offstage. Then, Tiffany says when her husband, George, lost 50 pounds, he started gagging at the sight of her body. So, she got $20,000 worth of plastic surgery, hoping he would only have eyes for her. But it wasn't enough to keep George faithful. Tiffany says she's more gorgeous than any of the women he had affairs with, so why isn't her husband looking her way? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More March 2007 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

October 28, 2006, 9:42 pm CDT

Pretty people

Yes, I think pretty people get most of the breaks. You consider if an overweight person applies for a job with all the qualifications and a pretty person applies for the same job but she/he doesn't have the required qualifications, the pretty person will get the job. They get the better raises, and get better treatment.  BUT I do know that ALL people whether they are pretty, ugly, overweight or what ever they look like ALL have their own personal problems. In this story where the pretty girl goes and have plastic surgery just to keep her man, that is wrong. He's not worth it! I would have left him because no matter what you do to better yourself , hoping it would make him stay, it won't work. Those kind of men will always wander. So get rid of him! There are better men out there who will treat you a whole lot better with dignity and respect!
 
October 28, 2006, 10:57 pm CDT

11/02 Gorgeous Isn’t Enough

I'm not an attractive person, and I think because of that I was forced to enrich other parts of my life.

Not saying this is always the case, not by a long shot, but I do think it does happen. Sometimes, sometimes pretty people don't have to work as hard in life and sometimes that creates holes in the rest of their personalities.
 
October 29, 2006, 3:37 am CST

Tiffany needs to dump George

Nothing she does for him is ever going to be good enough. There is not enough weight loss or plastic surgury that is going to keep him faithful.  She needs to count her losses and move on to someone who would appreciate her and love her the way she deserves. 
 
October 29, 2006, 4:33 am CST

Gorgeous Isn't Enough--It sure ain't!

Ever since Junior High, I have always believed that no matter how nicely you dress, no matter how much you keep yourself thin (note I didn't say "in shape"), if you're a female, how much spackle you put on your face, or any other outer accoutrements of "beauty", people are going to treat you exactly the way they feel like treating you. There MIGHT be a glimmer of hope they MIGHT treat you a LITTLE more regally, but don't count on it. Some people will disrespect someone no matter how good the other person looks. Sometimes some people will disrespect that person is getting all the goodies and they're not, and they will try to hurt the one they perceive as "gorgeous", by stealing their things, destroy their property, smear their name, start a severe argument with their best friend or partner, hurt their dog, you name it. Then they justify hurting "Mr. or Ms. Gorgeous". If someone has improved themselves, like working out and losing weight, coloring their hair, clearing a bad acne condition, creating a new wardrobe, by all means that should be something to be admired and revered. A friend who complains is obviously jealous and obviously very self-effacing. Hopefully the former will see the pettiness as it is and ignore it and keep doing the positive things they're doing.
 
October 29, 2006, 4:45 am CST

Gorgeous ISN'T Enough

I have watched this scenario a thousand times with female friends who have worn themselves to exhaustion trying to be "pretty enough" to keep their straying boyfriends/ husbands home. Most of these women, apart from their looks, are co-dependent leaches who suck the ife out of their partner by revolving their entire lives around him. No matter what you tell them, they continue their own disasterous behavior and place all the blame on their misbehaving husbands. I have seen women get plastic surgery, breast augmentations, hair extensions and go into extreme debt trying to look good on the outside, and will not spend one dime getting the help they need on the inside. I used to say " if a man is a cheater, he will always be a cheater regardless", but after I've seen the unhealthy behavior of so many women, I have to wonder if that statement is far too general. I now believe that if women would stop acting like ticks on a dog, and develop their own interests, lives and self esteem apart from their men, the men just might find them too interesting and wonderful to stray away from them. Too many women spend too much time male bashing instead of taking a good long look in the mirror of their own destructive behavior. Outward appearance may intitially attract a man, but he will need much more than a pretty little leach too keep his interest over the long haul. I have found that men are actually intelligent and need to be stimulated intellectually as well as physically, so get off the "boo hoo" bandwagon and get a life rather than trying to live off your partner's energy, affection, approval etc... (from a female who has developed a new perspective on things)
 
October 29, 2006, 4:45 am CST

Love versus employment

No, Gorgeous isn't enough in some circumstances.A number of times I've seen experiments in which a poorly qualified attractive person and a qualified less-attractive person apply for the same job--the more attractive candidate (and less qualified) is usually the successful one. Does this apply to matters of the heart? No, not necessarily IMHO. Sure, the exterior package is the initial attraction for most people, but once you unwrap that package... ************* I'm married to a man who society would consider handsome. At 35 he caused 20 somethings to titter and flirt; at 53 he still turns heads. And he chose to marry me, admittedly plain, plump, and unassuming. And I chose to overcome my own feelings that I was too plain for a handsome man. Why? In his own words, he had had enough of beautiful girls who attempted to catch his eye but could not engage his mind. He chose my sense of humor and crookedly wry view of the world over a set of physical characteristics others might envy because he wanted to be able to talk to his life partner for his entire life, not just a few weeks or years. We both think we're incredibly lucky to have found each other, a feeling that continues even after 25 years. ************* In love, it should be between the ears and not dependent on some other part or parts of the body perhaps arranged in a pleasing sort of way. Ideally it should, but we as a society have come to discount internal, intellectual appearance in favor of beauty. Sad, really. ************* Do I feel inadequate? Occasionally. Does he? Yes, he says so occasionally. How do we deal with it? We talk about how much we value those unseen qualities that are the glue holding us together. Next time you see a plain woman with a handsome man, or a plain man with a knock-dead gorgeous woman, smile. They've made it past the external into what really matters.
 
October 29, 2006, 7:03 am CST

It and everything else is all about me????????

I think there are some individuals who are so wrapped up in themselves that everything is about a personal conquest. 

I think asking ourselves if we are in their number is what is important.  If so, decide what why we have allowed ourselves to become so shallow.  If not, decide who we want to spend our time with. 

At this point, I have decided that the canine variety is often humanities truest best friend and companion.

 
October 29, 2006, 7:06 am CST

Been there

Quote From: joycers54

Yes, I think pretty people get most of the breaks. You consider if an overweight person applies for a job with all the qualifications and a pretty person applies for the same job but she/he doesn't have the required qualifications, the pretty person will get the job. They get the better raises, and get better treatment.  BUT I do know that ALL people whether they are pretty, ugly, overweight or what ever they look like ALL have their own personal problems. In this story where the pretty girl goes and have plastic surgery just to keep her man, that is wrong. He's not worth it! I would have left him because no matter what you do to better yourself , hoping it would make him stay, it won't work. Those kind of men will always wander. So get rid of him! There are better men out there who will treat you a whole lot better with dignity and respect!
NO MAN IS WORTH CRYING OVER *****AND***** THE ONE THAT IS, DOESN"T MAKE YOU CRY!!!
 
October 29, 2006, 7:52 am CST

pretty, what of it?

From my experience, I have had it both ways.  I have been pretty, and it got me no where romatically other than long-term sexual relationships, but the man wanders even when they admit that I am everything a man would want.  "Yeah, right," consequetially, my self esteem goes in the dumper. So, then, I put on 50lbs just to keep men away. Then I found out I could have pretty compatible relationships even with the buffer weight. When I see a couple where the woman is ho-hum and has a handsome man, I ask my self "Is that what I look like with a handsome man?"  Or, I TELL MYSELF "NOW SEE THERE'S A HANDSOME MAN WITH An AVERAGE LOOKING WOMAN."  When I see an overweight woman with a dedicated man, I ask myself  "How  does that man stay dedicate to that woman?"  From my experience, I know that even a pretty good sex life can glue a couple together for a long time, but it's not enough for the long haul.  It's not enough to be pretty or even sexually compatible.  It's not even enough to love someone more than life itself.  I have to remind myself of how pretty someone like Hally Barry is or Vanessa Williams is and others who had men that that strayed.  I sometimes think that pretty people have it harder because other people are threatened by them, use them or even proposition them. Some are so pretty that they do not even get approached because of preconceived notions; they are considered too good looking or stuck up.  All of which is prejudicial. It's not about looks or loving someone: It's about being loved by someone for the beauty we are inside.  When someone is simply a beautiful being, it oozes out of them.  They just need to have faith that their equal will come along some day and that they deserve the same beauty.  It's all wrapped up in our self esteem.
 
October 29, 2006, 8:53 am CST

I don't think so

Quote From: joycers54

Yes, I think pretty people get most of the breaks. You consider if an overweight person applies for a job with all the qualifications and a pretty person applies for the same job but she/he doesn't have the required qualifications, the pretty person will get the job. They get the better raises, and get better treatment.  BUT I do know that ALL people whether they are pretty, ugly, overweight or what ever they look like ALL have their own personal problems. In this story where the pretty girl goes and have plastic surgery just to keep her man, that is wrong. He's not worth it! I would have left him because no matter what you do to better yourself , hoping it would make him stay, it won't work. Those kind of men will always wander. So get rid of him! There are better men out there who will treat you a whole lot better with dignity and respect!
 Not to have an argument with you but i completely disagree with your statement about overweight people getting treated differently.---Although it may be true that at first glance we tend to look at the slimmer (Fit) person first, but if an overweight person comes in for an interview and has all the confidence and personality in the world, walking in like they know they are  gorgeous and any  one would be happy to be with them( and dress appropriately) i would be more drawn to the overweight person then the Fit Club.  I don't believe with our society the way it is that we put as much emphasis on weight so much as style how they carry themselves, how great they get along with other people. Now a lot of overweight people come into a building with a miserable look on their faces, and have the attitude of " you better not tell me anything about my weight" and want special treatment because they feel they don't get the same breaks as skinnier people and everyone owes them something. Now you know as well as i do NO BODY is going to want to be around someone who has a" I hate the world" attitude. Monique from the show The Parkers is a perfect example of what i am talking about. Any body can pull of being big, it just depends on how Gracefully you do it.
 
First Page | Previous Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next | Last