Topic : 11/03 Shocking Accusations

I think it would be more convenient if Dr. Phil would interview the child alone, rather than the parents and grandmother.  If Dr. Phil is not licensed to do that, he can hire a professional to do the job and report back to him. 

 

Reading the transcript of tonight's show (I can't watch the show due to a commitment), my guts tell me that the mother and grandmother are manipulating the situation for some hidden reasons. 

 

Let's wait and see what the polygraph says.

 

 

When do the other shows air?

Dr Phil, please do not assume that Child Protective Services knows what they are doing and make correct determinations.  I know of several instances where they allowed children to have unsupervised visitation with an abusing parent.  In one instance the parent was finally tried for molesting a minor (outside of the family) and comitted suicide because he knew he would go to jail.  I also know about a circumstance in my own family where my sister in law called my mother and asked her to pick up her grandson because he was being "bad" and she struck him in the face.  When my mother arrived there was blood everywhere.  She apparently struck him in the nose causing a great deal of bleeding which had nearly stopped when my mother arrived.  My mother took him home with her and my sister called Child Protective Services after talking to my mother about it.  NOTHING was done!!!  CPS did not even interview my mother and they notified my sister a week later that they found nothing and closed the case.

Dr. Phil's comment about CPS workers not caring is wrong in my experience. When I was 18 and my little brother was 11, my little brother was being beaten by his father. When I first called CPS to report it...because no one else would do anything about it....they took it seriously the first time and visited his fathers house. His father told them it was lies and that it was our mother (he thought she called, but I did it without consulting anyone...it was my little brother for crying out loud!) trying to drive a wedge between him and his son...never mind the huge bruises all up and down his back, sides and butt...and the fact that he told me that "Yeah, I did it and I'll do it again any time he needs it!" when I confronted him about it. Not too long after that, my little brother was hospitalized due to a ruptured spleen and almost died. I again called CPS asking them to check to see if that was due to neglect, as it was his fathers neglect to take him to the hospital after weeks of sickness. (Turned out my little brother had had mono for almost six weeks.) CPS told me, that 1) I need to quit calling because I dont have any rights in the matter and 2) My mother was just as much to blame if anything was wrong because she was going to bars (which I am not saying going to bars is right, nor that it is an activity that either my brother or I do) and not watching her children. Apparently, they didnt take into consideration that there were only two children involved at the time: me, who was 18 and on my own and my little brother, who was 11 and living with his father who had sole custody.  I kept calling and eventually they threatened me with lawyers. To this day, I know my brother was being beaten, and no one would listen to me because I was "only" his sister. So, Dr. Phil, sometimes CPS just doesnt give a sh*t, regardless of what you have experienced. You are not at every CPS office in the whole United States, so don't act like you know everything there is to know.

My daughter was molested when she was 4 years old at the babysitters, by a child 5 years older than she was.  One day  she pointed between her legs and told me that everybody likes to kiss her there.  I immediately contacted child protective services.  They went to the child's house and found marijuana and that was the end of it.  Nothing was done to help my child, or the child who molested her.  No counseling for him, his parents...nothing.  I put my daughter in therapy and we got through it.  But child protective services did NOTHING.

I also was talking to a friend today, who asked me about that situation because her sister was suspicious that her ex-husband was molesting her 3 year old daughter.  Upon suspecting this, she called a therapist, and then called the division of youth and family services.  The child would only admit that her daddy touched her privates to the therapist, not to anyone else.  DYFS then told my friend's sister that because there was no proof, they closed the case.  This weekend, she has no choice but to give her daughter to the father for visitation.

So I know personally of two times that child protective services (or whatever name they go by) has closed a case when it should have been pursued.  If a child saying that someone touched him or her inappropriately isn't enough "proof" I don't know what is.

Dr. Phil,

               I believe her when she said that CPS dismissed her case.  2 years ago my sister-in-law was killed in a car wreck and her estranged husband took their daughter.  My mother-in-law got her at Christmas and she (the granddaughter) told her that her cousin was touching her in private places.  We took her to the emergency room immediately.  The DCS(dept. of child services) in her county " misplaced" her papers the hospital from our county faxed them. Right now they are in a custody battle with her father and the lady is probably going to lose her job. Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.

I have not seen the show yet, I will most likely post again once I have seen it. I do want to say, however, after reading a few of your posts that I agree whole-heartedly that CPS can and DOES fail. Sometimes they're understaffed and overworked. Sometimes they're underpaid and feel they shouldn't have to do more than what they feel like doing. There are several reasons.

 

When I split up from my abusive ex husband and took our infant daughter, I turned to CPS for protection. I didn't want to keep him out of her life. I wanted supervised visits until he had successfully completed anger management and parenting classes and got treatment for his alcohol problem. It was a small enough town, however, that it turned into who had the better last name and who's family had the fatter pocket book.

 

Instead of getting the protection my daughter deserved, I was swamped with almost weekly house-visits. Sometimes they'd come late at night and wake us up just to look around my house. Because his family had a more prominent name and because his family had more money, they turned the pointed finger at me as the irresponsible parent. One even went as far as to say that I never should have filed assault charges if I didn't want to deal with child protection.

 

There are wonderful CPS workers in this world and I hope they keep doing the fantastic job they have been doing, but Dr. Phil, and the entire rest of the country needs to open their eyes and see that just because their title is Child Protection, it's not always the child that they are protecting.

Monday and Tuesday!

I can't believe that you made a statement, Dr. Phil. That you have worked with Social Services and you have never heard them make that sort of comment. Well I can say that. I have been in your first guest shoes. Though I have handled my situation differently. And we (myself and my X) don't get into discusssion about our daughter. I do believe that social service are so under-staffed and will only make dissision when there is an extreme cass of child child abuse where the child is in inimate danger. The system fails these children all the time. I have had personal exprence. And I rate most social service with a D-

But that doesn't mean that some children are coach. And I don't feel for whats going on today. But I have no faith. And just pray everyday for my child and other children out there that go through the same thing.

I'm not sure exactly whats going on here, but either way the child is being abused - whether is physically from the father, or emotionally from the mother or grandmother, and I hope Dr. Phil gets to the bottom of it.

I was sexually abused by an uncle -- my mother's sister's husband when I was young -- don't know old I was -- probably about 9-12 years.  I'm now 42. I remember everything he did and how wierd I felt about it all.   I do remember the last time, it was on Christmas day and we were over visiting and he started with me and I got upset and ran down the stairs... I stopped wanting to go over.  When I got old enough to make these decisions I would tell my mother I didn't want to go there.  Once I turned 18, I never visited again.  I felt bad for my aunt who never knew why, but I couldn't deal with it.  My mother never asked me, and I know she had to have known.  Back then those things weren't talked about, they tore families apart, and there was a real possibility that you wouldn't be believed.  Once when I was about 30 she kinda broached the subject but didn't really ask and I think all these years that I felt it was my fault, I was an early bloomer and thought I brought all this on myself cuz I didn't really understand that it was wrong at the time. And I think I in a way blamed my mom cuz she wasn't there to protect me.  Now we don't have a close relationship, thats probably why.  I never confronted my uncle.  He died a couple of years ago, I went to the viewing and have to say that was one of the happiest days of my life -- I know God will deal with him. 

Its something that I'll never forget, and can't even really be specific with anyone about it, and it seems when I try to, people don't want to hear it....