Topic : 11/03 Shocking Accusations

http://www.drphil.com/messageboard/topic/255/

Above is a link to where any one can go and talk about what has happened to them. On the thread you will find men and women that have been sexually molested or have had someone that they care about molested. We are at different stages in our lives. Some are just opening up and some of us have survived and are here to help others. Please feel free to jump on and read. It is a great group of people, young and old......(if 50 is old..?) LIL....Every one is welcome.........

Fridays show will be hard for some to watch, but it is the type of show that needs to be aired. My prayers are to those that have suffered or that have been victimized by others. Just remember, there is a way out and light at the end of the tunnel.......Gods Blessings.

Don't let fear run your life. Fear can get in the way of reporting something that you may be seeing close to you. Lack of involvement has caused others pain for years. It's normal for people to turn their heads and walk away because of fear. It's time we as a society take a stand and begin to make this sick disgusting act to end! Females and males of all ages have been victimized and the legal system sometimes works and sometimes doesn't work. It takes everyone to make a stand and  say enough is enough! Please don't let fear run your life......watch the show......and fight the cause........it can happen to any of us at any time.....

First of all, 4 year old children do masturbate, NOT necessarily because they have been sexually abused, but b/c they have come across a behavior that feels good to them.  This is normal sexualized behavior for a child this age.  They don't necessarily have to be taught this behavior.  They don't really understand what masturbation is...they just know that it feels good.  This is not to say that there is not the possibility that this child has been inappropriately touched, but based soley on this would not be enough the confirm a case of sexual abuse in MI (I don't know the laws for IN).  Also, In approximately 85% of sexual abuse cases, there is no physical evidence.

Also, when a child discloses "my daddy touched my pee-pee," this doesn't necessarily mean that she has been sexually abused.  A child this age speaks in literal terms.  This statement could mean, Daddy touched my pee-pee when he wiping the child, putting diaper rash cream on the child...there are lots of different possibilities.  That is why CPS does complete a full investigation b/c these are very serious allegations, get different kinds of assessments from professionals that specialize in this type of abuse.  There are certain criteria that they abide by and just because a child states this, doesn't always mean sexual abuse (although it could).  There are parents out there that do coach children in to saying these types of comments, such as in nasty custody disputes.  A child that goes through this kind of trauma, can usually talk about details about where it happened, who was there, etc....has she been able to provide any details? or does she only state, "daddy touched my pee pee?"    Just a thought that I wanted to share............... 

How do you know its an excuse? It comments like that, that make it hard for us good parents to be heard when we are trying to protect our children. At the same time, as parents we also have to deal with guilt that we feel to have children that have told us that we failed to protect them, if they were in fact sexually abused.

I have said I am going through the same thing. I DO believe in God and I do believe my faith gave me the strength to leave an abusive relationship. Even my children are religious. My youngest said yesterday. " I told daddy he touched my peepee at the restaurant and he said he didnt touch my peepee, he lied and god is going to punish him right mama?" (4 yrs old words) You can not blame both parents. Maybe one of the parents is at fault but who is to say who. Is the mom putting it in her head? did the dad in fact do it? How can you know? I know in my case my kids came to me and told me their dad molested them, he sais he didnt, he knows if he did or not, I have no idea what the truth is or why they are saying it. He is willing to take a lie detector test but I think it woudl be useless as he has no conscience, he could lie as easily as he can breath. Either of those parents could be as sick in the head as my ex is. I could see my ex either having done it, or having put it in their head, but the second scenario would not make sense and I think my kids would tell me if he had told them to say it. They only say he did it. I hope youll consider there may be something to this little girls tantrums and not necesarily bad parenting.

Jeremy is my little brother. Non-biological. He lived with my family growing up, and he and I were roommates for a while when we were grown and moved out of our parent's homes. I am always here for him, if he needs me and I can help. He and Kaylee are very special people in my life. I don't know, yet, what will surface on Dr. Phil’s show. I haven’t talked to Jeremy in several months, and I have just learned about the show. I am not going to judge Jeremy or Krista at this point. I ask that you not either, until the truth is known, if it ever can be known.

"Shocking Accusation" is a fitting title for this show, because the accusations are totally contrary to the Jeremy I know. He has his faults like every other person on earth, but molesting a child, particularly his own child, is not one of them. It will take a lot of solid proof to convince me otherwise.

To the Jeremy I know, Kaylee is the number one person in his life. There is no one else he loves more.  I have spent many an hour listening to Jeremy tell me the wonderful life he wants for his child or children. The Jeremy I know would put a gun to his head (quoting the promo clip from Dr Phil’s show) if he did such a horrible thing to her. I pray God gives Dr. Phil wisdom that only God can give. This situation should be handled very prayerfully. Jeremy, Krista, and Kaylee are some of God's most precious children. May God’s will be done. May Kaylee have the life that Jeremy has said he wants for her.

They were living with their father my daughter's (their mother) boy friend,s mother their other

Three of our grandchildren are now in protective custody in Indiana we live in Illinois. Our 3yr old granddaughter has been injured, according to the dr. that examined her, injured badly and I won't go into details about that on a chat line.  Accused is her older 1/2 sister and her father.  Her father is accused of molisting her older 1/2 sister.

grandmother.

We had no contact for a few months with the little ones only the older one and not by our choice.

Dr. Phill has said Grandparents have no rights and he is very correct on that one.

I suspected something was very very wrong but I could not prove anything nor could I get my grandchild to confide in me all she would do is cry and say she didn't want to go home.

When I would mention my gut feelings I was over reacting.

I'm just Grandma.

The older girl had spent most of the summer with either my husband and I or at her aunt's house.

I wish to God I had never sent her back I wish I could have convinced my husband and the rest of the family that something was so wrong but I couldn't.  She was home only a few days when everything went down and I didn't find out until the day after it did.

There is so much more to this that I couldn possibly wright here but be sure it affects not only these three children but it is affecting my whole family and my other grandchildren which are very close to their cousins and a son-in-law (not the father of the three in custody)  that well I won't even go there. There is so much more involved with this and we have our only help in this is just trusting in God and trying to work with the people in Indiana who are trying to do the best to help and protect our grandchildren.

 Please don't waste your time saying we should get a lawyer because no lawyer in Indiana or Illinois want to touch this.  We have had many people on a search for one and we have all gotten the same results they either don't handle, they won't handle, they hang up or say they will call back and never do and if called back they hang up.

We have tried even different agencies but they won't touch this after they read the full report.

We have to go it alone.

What's the point of my message, Grandmas, Grandpas, Aunts and Uncles if you have a gut feeling about something like this is happening in your family act on it.  You  won't be believed

but at least try.  Because even though no one will listen be sure it will come back on you for not doing anything .  I guess what I am saying is it's a catch 22

When these things happen it is not only the child that is injured but the extended family is I can't even find a word to discribe it.  All I know is I am now doing my best to hold our family together ( we have always been a close family) and safe from doing something that would distroy their own familys. 

I don't even know if I will even be able to watch this program but I will try if no other reason maybe I can learn something that can help my family.