Message Boards
Topic : 11/03 Shocking Accusations
Don't miss the first of a multi-part event so riveting, Dr. Phil needed three days to tell the whole story. Bonii, a desperate grandmother, sent Dr. Phil a video showing how her 3-year-old granddaughter, Kaylee, hysterically reacts when she returns from visits with her father, Jeremy. Bonii and her daughter Krista, Kaylee's mom, are accusing Jeremy of molesting Kaylee for the last year. Jeremy maintains his innocence, and says that Bonii and Krista are coaching Kaylee to say bad things about him. Both sides bring a video to prove their point. What does Dr. Phil think of the parents' actions? In a dramatic move, he calls a time-out during the middle of the show to have one-on-one conversations with each parent. Are Jeremy and Krista being honest with Dr. Phil? They agree to be put to the test. Dr. Phil vows to find out the truth, and make sure Kaylee has a safe home. Join the discussion and tell us what you think.Find out what happened on the show.
More November 2006 Show Boards.
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November 3, 2006, 3:29 am PST
 Quote From: diane4610 My husband and I are care providers of our granddaughterwhile our daughter is at work. Our granddaughter M is a four year old whohas consistently stated for two years that her father touches herinappropriately. She frequently returnsfrom visitation with her father with vaginal/anal redness, bruising, swellingand open areas. M has disclosed theabuse to 15 people, including the CPS caseworker in their county, CPSSupervisor in their county, their local Chief of Police, Ms Pediatrician, her PlayTherapist, a Social Worker who specializes in determining sexual abuse inpreschool children, the investigating State Trooper, CPS caseworker in our(grandparents) county, two Emergency Room Physicians, two Emergency RoomRegistered Nurses, a Dental Assistant and numerous family members andfriends. Twelve people have seen theredness following visitation, including three Emergency Room physicians andthree Emergency Room nurses, Pediatrician, and family members. The suspected abuse has been reported to CPSby the Emergency Room staff, the Play Therapist, her Pediatrician, and theSocial Worker. A private investigatorsuggested that we have M checked by a doctor before and after visitation withthe idea that my daughter and granddaughter would be accompanied by a reliablewitness to and from the location where the exchange of M takes place. My daughter tried to get an officer of thelaw to accompany her, but because of the necessity of crossing county linesno-one was willing or able to provide this service. Instead she got a friend who works as a guardwith the state Department of Corrections to be the witness. M was examined by her pediatrician for a coughand slight nasal congestion. At thisage, the physician usually does a compete check-up which includes a visualexamination of the private area. Thedocumentation showed a normal vaginal exam. The DOC guard accompanied M and her mother from the doctors office tothe drop-off location where M was delivered to her father. Upon return from visitation 48 hours later,the DOC guard, my daughter and I picked up M and drove straight to our localhospital emergency room. (By this time,the vaginal and/or anal redness was fairly predictable.) M was examined and vaginal and peri-analredness was noted. M made four separatestatements to the ER staff concerning the molestation. When asked how the redness occurred, shestated, I was with my Dad today and got sore. She also stated that she goes to her Dads and thats the way itis. She stated, He touched me with hishand, his finger, and when I go to my fathers, he touches me downthere. The following morning a courtesyinterview was done by our county CPS. M told the caseworker that she goes to herDads house and he pulls down her pants and panties and touches herpee-pee. She also stated that hergrandma (paternal) had caught him doing it and had gotten angry with him andwhipped him. CPS again ruled that theabuse was unsubstantiated, despite the fact that it was proven that the rednessoccurred while M was in her fathers care, custody and control. The allegation of abuse was determinedunsubstantiated per CPS. CPS didquestion whether it could constitute emotional neglect on my daughters partfor having M examined. Prior to thesecond court hearing, statements were made by my ex-son-in-law, his attorney,and the Court that the abuse was being perpetrated by my daughter, by me (Msmaternal grandmother), by my daughters boyfriend, and/or by my older granddaughtersboyfriend. In the third hearing my ex-son-in-lawsmother testified that there was no abuse, only an adverse reaction toshampoo. During the same hearing, my ex-son-in-lawtestified that he felt that the redness was caused by M slouching in her carseat. My daughter uses the exact makeand model of car seat in her vehicle and has never had any problem with rednessoccurring while M was strapped into the car seat. As my daughter stated, it is an outrageousassertion that Ms car seat strap could get past a heavy winter coat, jeans,and panties to create redness, swelling and open areas to her anus andvagina. We (my husband, my daughter andI) have contacted everyone we can think of requesting help. CPS rules the abuse unsubstantiated. The police and prosecutor say they cannottouch it, as CPS determines no abuse has occurred. FBI says it is not their job. The state Attorney Generals office says,Report any abuse to CPS. The state Directorof Child Protection Services says, Everything was handled according to policy. Visitation remains unsupervised. We have a four year old who isself-destructive and has displayed three distinct personalities as a means ofcoping. M remains in counseling toobtain coping skills. Why can a countryas progressive as this only offer coping skills, but not stop this allegedabuse from being perpetrated on our preschooler? My ex-son-in-laws attorney reportedly statedthat he was going to use the scorched earth policy on our daughter, leaving herfinancially destitute. Itsworking. She has been forced to give upthe home, in which she raised her older children, in order to finance attorneyfees. Our daughter (at age 40) is nowliving, for the first time since being a teenager, with us in a desperate attemptto regain control of her finances. Herattorney has filed an appeal, but the court system has failed M three timesalready, as has the state Child Protection Services. Someone somewhere should have a voice thatwill be acknowledged for innocent victims like M. We are looking for help. Weve done everything we can think oflegally, but have been forced to face the fact that it has not beenenough. This has been devastating to ourentire family, and a great disillusionment of American ethics. Those in the position to enact change shoulddo so with alacrity and stop the abuse being perpetrated on our children andignored by our protective system. |
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November 3, 2006, 4:26 am PST
i hope with all my heart it isnt going on with this child for the childs sake,but if it proves true what will be done? how can the child ever heal, even if its not happening how will the child ever be the same? how can any man do something like this to his owne daughter at any age?and how could any mother ever teach her owne daughter to say things like this about her owne father? life has too many sick twists, that only a man such as you dr phil can unravell,gods speed at this one i do pray> |
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November 3, 2006, 5:56 am PST
Incest and sexual abuse are at epidemic proportions. Current statistics suggest that one out of four females is sexually abused by the time she reaches the age of 18, with about 75 percent of the perpetrators being family members. One out of 5 males is sexually abused by age 18. Incest is defined as sexual relations of any kind perpetrated by a biologically or non-biologically related person functioning in the role of a family member. Other trusted adults also sexually abuse children and teenagers; these include: fathers, mothers, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, stepparents, grandparents, coaches, baby sitters, clergy, teachers. It really happens... and not just to other people. Children of every race, religion and economic status are abused and or incested. What makes this problem even worse is that the effects of incest don't stop when the abuse stops. They stay with the child as he or she grows through adolescence and into adulthood. Self-hatred, alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, eating disorders, the inability to trust and suicide are common results of incest and sexual abuse. What Kids Can't Say A small percentage of kids who are being incested find the courage to tell someone. These disclosures can be as painful as the incest itself; the child believing he/she is telling on someone he/she loves and reliving the horrible experience. They don't want to cause problems, they just want it to stop. No one really knows what makes one child disclose and another not. We do know that it is incredibly important for a disclosure to be heard respectfully and to be believed. Every child is vulnerable to sexual abuse. Since one out of four females is sexually abused by the time she reaches age 18 -- that could include you, or a friend, or a brother or sister of yours. Today's teenagers and children must face the possibility that someone may hurt or take advantage of them. Very young children, as well as older teenagers, are victimized. Almost all of these children will be abused by someone they know and trust: a relative, a family friend, or a caretaker. If you were ever sexually abused, even if it was years ago, it is okay to tell a trusted teacher, school nurse, guidance counselor or friend. Of course, this list goes on. Sexual abuse involves forcing, tricking, threatening, or pressuring a child into sexual awareness or activity. Sexual abuse occurs when an older or more knowledgeable child or an adult uses a child for sexual pleasure. The abuse often begins gradually and increases over time. Signs of Sexual Abuse - Signs that often go unnoticed Because most children cannot or do not tell about being sexually abused, it is up to concerned adults or friends to recognize signs of abuse. Physical evidence of abuse is rare. Therefore, we must look for behavior signs. Unfortunately, there is no one behavior alone that definitely determines a child has been sexually abused. The following are general behavior changes that may occur in children and teens who have been sexually abused: Depression Signs of Sexual Abuse - Signs that often go unnoticed Because most children cannot or do not tell about being sexually abused, it is up to concerned adults or friends to recognize signs of abuse. Physical evidence of abuse is rare. Therefore, we must look for behavior signs. Unfortunately, there is no one behavior alone that definitely determines a child has been sexually abused. The following are general behavior changes that may occur in children and teens who have been sexually abused: Depression The Silent Problem are too young to put what has happened into words Silence enables sexual abuse to continue. Silence protects sexual offenders and hurts children who are being abused. Sexual abuse is an extremely difficult and damaging experience. Today there are many resources to help victims and their families. Children no longer need to suffer in silence. No one can ever regain the childhood years they lost to sexual abuse or incest.
Children and teens who have been sexually abused feel many different (and often overwhelming) emotions, including: Fear
Anger
Sadness
Guilt
Confusion
Parents want to protect children from sexual abuse, but they can't always be there to do that. Since that is the reality in life, children and teens need to know about sexual abuse in order to increase their awareness and coping skills. Without frightening children and teens, we need to provide them with appropriate safety information and support at every stage of their development. Even the best educated child or teenager cannot always avoid sexual abuse, children who are well prepared will be more likely to tell if abuse has occurred. This is a person's best defense. As a teenager you need to know: you are loved and deserve to be safe someone trusts you enough to tell you about an incident of sexual abuse, you are in an important position to help that person recover. The following suggestions can help you provide positive support. Keep in mind that sometimes it’s important just to listen. Do: Keep calm. It is important to remember that you are not angry with them, but at what happened. Children can mistakenly interpret anger or disgust as directed towards them. Don't: Panic or overreact when the person talks about the experience. People need help and support to make it through this difficult time. Remember, there is 'life' after abuse. If you talk to someone: a teacher, a therapist, or a trusted adult, you may find that the feelings of anger, shame, guilt and depression start to fade away and that your life can have a brighter future, full of promise. Even though your memories of abuse may never go away, you can learn how to file them away into a place where they will be safe and you will no longer be haunted by them. Those nightmares may go away too, mine did. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* There is no magic cure for sexual abuse or incest. Each year, beginning in 1999, the Incest Awareness Foundation will organize a "To Tell The Truth Conference" for the greater New York area in the U.S. Started in 1992 by adult incest survivors, To Tell The Truth has become a nationwide network within which survivors can be heard and can heal. Many people's lives are touched by incest. You may have a friend or family member who is a survivor. You might be a survivor yourself. The effects of incest on our community are staggering. If you need someone to talk to about abuse or incest please call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE or in the United States, the Incest Awareness Foundation number is 1-888 -547-3222. See the Hotline page, there are new phone numbers there, I have had complaints about RAINN! FYI, no child or teenager is ever responsible for the actions of an abuser, adult or otherwise. You may feel you are to blame for your abuse. You may feel lots of different emotions, this is normal and a necessary part of the 'healing process'. Remember, there is 'life' after abuse. If you talk to someone: a teacher, a therapist, or a trusted adult, you may find that the feelings of anger, shame, guilt and depression start to fade away and that your life can have a brighter future, full of promise. Even though your memories of abuse may never go away, you can learn how to file them away into a place where they will be safe and you will no longer be haunted by them. Those nightmares may go away too, mine did. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* There is no magic cure for sexual abuse or incest. Each year, beginning in 1999, the Incest Awareness Foundation will organize a "To Tell The Truth Conference" for the greater New York area in the U.S. Started in 1992 by adult incest survivors, To Tell The Truth has become a nationwide network within which survivors can be heard and can heal. Many people's lives are touched by incest. You may have a friend or family member who is a survivor. You might be a survivor yourself. The effects of incest on our community are staggering. If you need someone to talk to about abuse or incest please call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE or in the United States, the Incest Awareness Foundation number is 1-888 -547-3222. See the Hotline page, there are new phone numbers there, I have had complaints about RAINN!Incest and sexual abuse are at epidemic proportions. Current statistics suggest that one out of four females is sexually abused by the time she reaches the age of 18, with about 75 percent of the perpetrators being family members. One out of 5 males is sexually abused by age 18. Incest is defined as sexual relations of any kind perpetrated by a biologically or non-biologically related person functioning in the role of a family member. Other trusted adults also sexually abuse children and teenagers; these include: fathers, mothers, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, stepparents, grandparents, coaches, baby sitters, clergy, teachers. It really happens... and not just to other people. Children of every race, religion and economic status are abused and or incested. What makes this problem even worse is that the effects of incest don't stop when the abuse stops. They stay with the child as he or she grows through adolescence and into adulthood. Self-hatred, alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, eating disorders, the inability to trust and suicide are common results of incest and sexual abuse. What Kids Can't Say A small percentage of kids who are being incested find the courage to tell someone. These disclosures can be as painful as the incest itself; the child believing he/she is telling on someone he/she loves and reliving the horrible experience. They don't want to cause problems, they just want it to stop. No one really knows what makes one child disclose and another not. We do know that it is incredibly important for a disclosure to be heard respectfully and to be believed. Every child is vulnerable to sexual abuse. Since one out of four females is sexually abused by the time she reaches age 18 -- that could include you, or a friend, or a brother or sister of yours. Today's teenagers and children must face the possibility that someone may hurt or take advantage of them. Very young children, as well as older teenagers, are victimized. Almost all of these children will be abused by someone they know and trust: a relative, a family friend, or a caretaker. If you were ever sexually abused, even if it was years ago, it is okay to tell a trusted teacher, school nurse, guidance counselor or friend. Of course, this list goes on. Sexual abuse involves forcing, tricking, threatening, or pressuring a child into sexual awareness or activity. Sexual abuse occurs when an older or more knowledgeable child or an adult uses a child for sexual pleasure. The abuse often begins gradually and increases over time. Signs of Sexual Abuse - Signs that often go unnoticed Because most children cannot or do not tell about being sexually abused, it is up to concerned adults or friends to recognize signs of abuse. Physical evidence of abuse is rare. Therefore, we must look for behavior signs. Unfortunately, there is no one behavior alone that definitely determines a child has been sexually abused. The following are general behavior changes that may occur in children and teens who have been sexually abused: Depression Signs of Sexual Abuse - Signs that often go unnoticed Because most children cannot or do not tell about being sexually abused, it is up to concerned adults or friends to recognize signs of abuse. Physical evidence of abuse is rare. Therefore, we must look for behavior signs. Unfortunately, there is no one behavior alone that definitely determines a child has been sexually abused. The following are general behavior changes that may occur in children and teens who have been sexually abused: Depression The Silent Problem are too young to put what has happened into words Silence enables sexual abuse to continue. Silence protects sexual offenders and hurts children who are being abused. Sexual abuse is an extremely difficult and damaging experience. Today there are many resources to help victims and their families. Children no longer need to suffer in silence. No one can ever regain the childhood years they lost to sexual abuse or incest.
Children and teens who have been sexually abused feel many different (and often overwhelming) emotions, including: Fear
Anger
Sadness
Guilt
Confusion
Parents want to protect children from sexual abuse, but they can't always be there to do that. Since that is the reality in life, children and teens need to know about sexual abuse in order to increase their awareness and coping skills. Without frightening children and teens, we need to provide them with appropriate safety information and support at every stage of their development. Even the best educated child or teenager cannot always avoid sexual abuse, children who are well prepared will be more likely to tell if abuse has occurred. This is a person's best defense. As a teenager you need to know: you are loved and deserve to be safe someone trusts you enough to tell you about an incident of sexual abuse, you are in an important position to help that person recover. The following suggestions can help you provide positive support. Keep in mind that sometimes it’s important just to listen. Do: Keep calm. It is important to remember that you are not angry with them, but at what happened. Children can mistakenly interpret anger or disgust as directed towards them. Don't: Panic or overreact when the person talks about the experience. People need help and support to make it through this difficult time. Remember, there is 'life' after abuse. If you talk to someone: a teacher, a therapist, or a trusted adult, you may find that the feelings of anger, shame, guilt and depression start to fade away and that your life can have a brighter future, full of promise. Even though your memories of abuse may never go away, you can learn how to file them away into a place where they will be safe and you will no longer be haunted by them. Those nightmares may go away too, mine did. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* There is no magic cure for sexual abuse or incest. Each year, beginning in 1999, the Incest Awareness Foundation will organize a "To Tell The Truth Conference" for the greater New York area in the U.S. Started in 1992 by adult incest survivors, To Tell The Truth has become a nationwide network within which survivors can be heard and can heal. Many people's lives are touched by incest. You may have a friend or family member who is a survivor. You might be a survivor yourself. The effects of incest on our community are staggering. If you need someone to talk to about abuse or incest please call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE or in the United States, the Incest Awareness Foundation number is 1-888 -547-3222. See the Hotline page, there are new phone numbers there, I have had complaints about RAINN! FYI, no child or teenager is ever responsible for the actions of an abuser, adult or otherwise. You may feel you are to blame for your abuse. You may feel lots of different emotions, this is normal and a necessary part of the 'healing process'. Remember, there is 'life' after abuse. If you talk to someone: a teacher, a therapist, or a trusted adult, you may find that the feelings of anger, shame, guilt and depression start to fade away and that your life can have a brighter future, full of promise. Even though your memories of abuse may never go away, you can learn how to file them away into a place where they will be safe and you will no longer be haunted by them. Those nightmares may go away too, mine did. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* There is no magic cure for sexual abuse or incest. Each year, beginning in 1999, the Incest Awareness Foundation will organize a "To Tell The Truth Conference" for the greater New York area in the U.S. Started in 1992 by adult incest survivors, To Tell The Truth has become a nationwide network within which survivors can be heard and can heal. Many people's lives are touched by incest. You may have a friend or family member who is a survivor. You might be a survivor yourself. The effects of incest on our community are staggering. If you need someone to talk to about abuse or incest please call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE or in the United States, the Incest Awareness Foundation number is 1-888 -547-3222. See the Hotline page, there are new phone numbers there, I have had complaints about RAINN!
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November 3, 2006, 6:17 am PST
Where a mother made her son sit on a Ninja Turtle toy and it penetrated the little boys anus before he went with his dad for visitation. She was trying to prove he was molesting the child. The reason I am saying this is because Kaylee mentioned the frogman did it. It is very possible that Kaylee may be poking toys into her vagina or someone else may be doing it. In this case they took the child away from this mother and gave custody to the dad. |
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November 3, 2006, 6:28 am PST
I'm a mother of 2 girls and a licensed childcare provider for 11 plus years and I'm sitting her CRYING this is not right !!!!!!!!!! I as a licensed would sense things not right with visitation w/ this helpless child I support the maternal mother and grandma I would with-hold all visitation ... I am CRYING OH SO CRYING ..... Children don't make situations like this up!!!!!!!!! Having a nephew molested under the age of 2 and He TOLD us~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep the investigation up MOM!!!!!! Sharon |
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November 3, 2006, 6:32 am PST
Dr. Phil is bilind to how Social Services really is..... |
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November 3, 2006, 6:51 am PST
YOU KNOW, I TRY TO GIVE EVERYONE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT, BUT THIS GUY IS KIND OF DIGGING HIMSELF A HOLE. I DO BELIEVE THAT THE MOTHER/GRANDMOTHER IS ENCOURAGING THE BEHAVIOR. I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHO TO BELIEVE AT THIS POINT, BUT AS MY MOM ALWAYS SAID "IT'LL ALL COME OUT IN THE WASH". |
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November 3, 2006, 6:54 am PST
How can he even suggest that maybe he did something while he sleepwalking? Did I put my tongue in her mouth??? hummm Ihave to think... WHAT? Are you kidding...This man has SOMETHING to hide. The Mother should have done something LONG ago I am disgusted that she has to live like that with either one of them. Why are those people allowed to have children? We need a license to drive, get married, perform some occupational duties, and NOT to have children. Now this poor little gile is stuck with obviously low class trashfor parents.(this regardless of income), Thank God someone brought Dr. Phil into this situation. Everyone taking the lie detector test I think has things they should be ashamed of regarding the care of that beautiful baby girl.
What a shame! |
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November 3, 2006, 7:13 am PST
Quote From: mama1978 How do you know its an excuse? It comments like that, that make it hard for us good parents to be heard when we are trying to protect our children. At the same time, as parents we also have to deal with guilt that we feel to have children that have told us that we failed to protect them, if they were in fact sexually abused.
I have said I am going through the same thing. I DO believe in God and I do believe my faith gave me the strength to leave an abusive relationship. Even my children are religious. My youngest said yesterday. " I told daddy he touched my peepee at the restaurant and he said he didnt touch my peepee, he lied and god is going to punish him right mama?" (4 yrs old words) You can not blame both parents. Maybe one of the parents is at fault but who is to say who. Is the mom putting it in her head? did the dad in fact do it? How can you know? I know in my case my kids came to me and told me their dad molested them, he sais he didnt, he knows if he did or not, I have no idea what the truth is or why they are saying it. He is willing to take a lie detector test but I think it woudl be useless as he has no conscience, he could lie as easily as he can breath. Either of those parents could be as sick in the head as my ex is. I could see my ex either having done it, or having put it in their head, but the second scenario would not make sense and I think my kids would tell me if he had told them to say it. They only say he did it. I hope youll consider there may be something to this little girls tantrums and not necesarily bad parenting. Child are the best truth tellers - they tell from the heart Sometimes not knowing right and wrong whether when and what to say or when not to say !!!!!!! I having been around children all my life, I am a licensed childcare provider and have a nephew that is now 15 years He told us at the age of 2 he was molested !!! Not in exact words but the way he acted ,the words he said and the story he told ... I tell all listen to your child -question whether you believe it or not BUT PLEASE INQUIRY INTO WHAT THEY ARE TELLING !!!!!!!!!!!!!
God does have his plans sometimes we wonder "Y" but in our case this Lady was a childare provider 24/7 God will heal the good and punish the Bad ........ She passed on a few months after all this came to light ???? hmmmmmm ....... PLEASE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN OF TODAY AND ADULTS OF TOMMOROW!!!!!!!!! |
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November 3, 2006, 7:14 am PST
Dr. Phil he is lying I hate men like him. because Im going through the same thing in here I am 25 years old and i just told my mother the man she has been with for over 20 years molested us meaning me and my siters not telling who else he ahs do it 2. My mother chose not beleive us and she is still with the man they have 5 daugters together but the first 3 children were not his children this is why he has done us this way .my mother is clearly being very foolish this man has been lieing for years and she chose to believe him .see we never had any one to to protect us the lady was right on the show to day because cps just passed us bye and the man who messed with us has never been convicted of anything and now because i just told on him there is nothing that can be done to him because the staute of limitions has ran out . but just inmagine waht it must have been like for us having to grow up with this man and have to respect this or else our mother would hate us like she do now becuz i have finally told her after all this years what he has done to us and she still dont even believe us .and now all of my little sisters ahte me because of there father what should i do. |
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