Topic : 11/03 Shocking Accusations

This is so true.  The courts are often uneducated about these matters, and children do become innocent victims in a game played out by abusers.  My ex was very abusive to me and was what I would call a convenience dad to our child.  When she was doing soemthing he could show off, then he was dad.  Discipline, day to day parent stuff, he had no time for.  He has effectively used the court system as another tool in his arsenal to further abuse me.  He has no clue where he ends and where our chidl begins.  he interrogates her about my life with her, all the while refusing to share even a small piece of his life with her to me.  I hear when she returns from visits that I am a lousy mother, his new spouse is goingt o be her mommy, my family is garbage.  Confusing to our chidl because even at the age of 5 she grasps the concept that she is half dadddy and half mommy.  If mommy is garbage then she must be half garbage.  She does not understand why her father can speak to me how he does when I expect respect and I give her respect.  Abusers have no concept of a child's boundaries, and unless the laws are changed this will continue to happen.

This mother is extremely lucky that her ex has not grabbed and run with PAS.  This is a hand created non-recognized syndrome, created by a man who committed suicide and who sympathized with pedophiles who also had his own divorce issues.  Huge amounts of documented research is available online and off regarding PAS and the people who support it.  Pro-PAS supporters would be running scared if they realized what PAS means to pedophiles.  It is a license for a molester to molest, an abuser to abuse and a batterer to batter.  It is not in the DSM-IV and it is not recognized by the APA as a true psychological syndrome.

My husband and I are care providers of our granddaughterwhile our daughter is at work.   Our granddaughter M is a four year old whohas consistently stated for two years that her father touches herinappropriately.  She frequently returnsfrom visitation with her father with vaginal/anal redness, bruising, swellingand open areas.  M has disclosed theabuse to 15 people, including the CPS caseworker in their county, CPSSupervisor in their county, their local Chief of Police, Ms Pediatrician, her PlayTherapist, a Social Worker who specializes in determining sexual abuse inpreschool children, the investigating State Trooper, CPS caseworker in our(grandparents) county, two Emergency Room Physicians, two Emergency RoomRegistered Nurses, a Dental Assistant and numerous family members andfriends.  Twelve people have seen theredness following visitation, including three Emergency Room physicians andthree Emergency Room nurses, Pediatrician, and family members.  The suspected abuse has been reported to CPSby the Emergency Room staff, the Play Therapist, her Pediatrician, and theSocial Worker.  A private investigatorsuggested that we have M checked by a doctor before and after visitation withthe idea that my daughter and granddaughter would be accompanied by a reliablewitness to and from the location where the exchange of M takes place.  My daughter tried to get an officer of thelaw to accompany her, but because of the necessity of crossing county linesno-one was willing or able to provide this service.  Instead she got a friend who works as a guardwith the state Department of Corrections to be the witness.  M was examined by her pediatrician for a coughand slight nasal congestion.  At thisage, the physician usually does a compete check-up which includes a visualexamination of the private area.  Thedocumentation showed a normal vaginal exam. The DOC guard accompanied M and her mother from the doctors office tothe drop-off location where M was delivered to her father.  Upon return from visitation 48 hours later,the DOC guard, my daughter and I picked up M and drove straight to our localhospital emergency room.  (By this time,the vaginal and/or anal redness was fairly predictable.)  M was examined and vaginal and peri-analredness was noted.  M made four separatestatements to the ER staff concerning the molestation.  When asked how the redness occurred, shestated, I was with my Dad today and got sore. She also stated that she goes to her Dads and thats the way itis.  She stated, He touched me with hishand, his finger, and when I go to my fathers, he touches me downthere.  The following morning a courtesyinterview was done by our county CPS.  M told the caseworker that she goes to herDads house and he pulls down her pants and panties and touches herpee-pee.  She also stated that hergrandma (paternal) had caught him doing it and had gotten angry with him andwhipped him.  CPS again ruled that theabuse was unsubstantiated, despite the fact that it was proven that the rednessoccurred while M was in her fathers care, custody and control.   The allegation of abuse was determinedunsubstantiated per CPS.  CPS didquestion whether it could constitute emotional neglect on my daughters partfor having M examined.  Prior to thesecond court hearing, statements were made by my ex-son-in-law, his attorney,and the Court that the abuse was being perpetrated by my daughter, by me (Msmaternal grandmother), by my daughters boyfriend, and/or by my older granddaughtersboyfriend.  In the third hearing my ex-son-in-lawsmother testified that there was no abuse, only an adverse reaction toshampoo.  During the same hearing, my ex-son-in-lawtestified that he felt that the redness was caused by M slouching in her carseat.   My daughter uses the exact makeand model of car seat in her vehicle and has never had any problem with rednessoccurring while M was strapped into the car seat.  As my daughter stated, it is an outrageousassertion that Ms car seat strap could get past a heavy winter coat, jeans,and panties to create redness, swelling and open areas to her anus andvagina.  We (my husband, my daughter andI) have contacted everyone we can think of requesting help.  CPS rules the abuse unsubstantiated.  The police and prosecutor say they cannottouch it, as CPS determines no abuse has occurred.  FBI says it is not their job.  The state Attorney Generals office says,Report any abuse to CPS.  The state Directorof Child Protection Services says, Everything was handled according to policy.  Visitation remains unsupervised.  We have a four year old who isself-destructive and has displayed three distinct personalities as a means ofcoping.  M remains in counseling toobtain coping skills.  Why can a countryas progressive as this only offer coping skills, but not stop this allegedabuse from being perpetrated on our preschooler?  My ex-son-in-laws attorney reportedly statedthat he was going to use the scorched earth policy on our daughter, leaving herfinancially destitute.  Itsworking.  She has been forced to give upthe home, in which she raised her older children, in order to finance attorneyfees.  Our daughter (at age 40) is nowliving, for the first time since being a teenager, with us in a desperate attemptto regain control of her finances.  Herattorney has filed an appeal, but the court system has failed M three timesalready, as has the state Child Protection Services.  Someone somewhere should have a voice thatwill be acknowledged for innocent victims like M.  We are looking for help.  Weve done everything we can think oflegally, but have been forced to face the fact that it has not beenenough.  This has been devastating to ourentire family, and a great disillusionment of American ethics.  Those in the position to enact change shoulddo so with alacrity and stop the abuse being perpetrated on our children andignored by our protective system.    

First of all, 4 year old children do masturbate, NOT necessarily because they have been sexually abused, but b/c they have come across a behavior that feels good to them.  This is normal sexualized behavior for a child this age.  They don't necessarily have to be taught this behavior.  They don't really understand what masturbation is...they just know that it feels good.  This is not to say that there is not the possibility that this child has been inappropriately touched, but based soley on this would not be enough the confirm a case of sexual abuse in MI (I don't know the laws for IN).  Also, In approximately 85% of sexual abuse cases, there is no physical evidence.

Also, when a child discloses "my daddy touched my pee-pee," this doesn't necessarily mean that she has been sexually abused.  A child this age speaks in literal terms.  This statement could mean, Daddy touched my pee-pee when he wiping the child, putting diaper rash cream on the child...there are lots of different possibilities.  That is why CPS does complete a full investigation b/c these are very serious allegations, get different kinds of assessments from professionals that specialize in this type of abuse.  There are certain criteria that they abide by and just because a child states this, doesn't always mean sexual abuse (although it could).  There are parents out there that do coach children in to saying these types of comments, such as in nasty custody disputes.  A child that goes through this kind of trauma, can usually talk about details about where it happened, who was there, etc....has she been able to provide any details? or does she only state, "daddy touched my pee pee?"    Just a thought that I wanted to share............... 

Jeremy is my little brother. Non-biological. He lived with my family growing up, and he and I were roommates for a while when we were grown and moved out of our parent's homes. I am always here for him, if he needs me and I can help. He and Kaylee are very special people in my life. I don't know, yet, what will surface on Dr. Phils show. I havent talked to Jeremy in several months, and I have just learned about the show. I am not going to judge Jeremy or Krista at this point. I ask that you not either, until the truth is known, if it ever can be known.

"Shocking Accusation" is a fitting title for this show, because the accusations are totally contrary to the Jeremy I know. He has his faults like every other person on earth, but molesting a child, particularly his own child, is not one of them. It will take a lot of solid proof to convince me otherwise.

To the Jeremy I know, Kaylee is the number one person in his life. There is no one else he loves more.  I have spent many an hour listening to Jeremy tell me the wonderful life he wants for his child or children. The Jeremy I know would put a gun to his head (quoting the promo clip from Dr Phils show) if he did such a horrible thing to her. I pray God gives Dr. Phil wisdom that only God can give. This situation should be handled very prayerfully. Jeremy, Krista, and Kaylee are some of God's most precious children. May Gods will be done. May Kaylee have the life that Jeremy has said he wants for her.

As someone who has a little knowledge and experience concerning this subject matter (www.abuse-excuse.com/ae_vita.html), and who has appeared on Dr. Phil's show, let me say that we don't decide if these allegations are true or false by reading tarot cards or tea leaves. In fact, polygraphs, while they can be persuasive to police officers in cases of criminal interference, for the most part are legally inadmissible in court. Their results vary widely dependent upon the polygraph examiner (should be DODPI certified) and the type of test (lafayette v. axciton).

Children as young as 3 & 1/2 can give salient details of molestation. Children this young do have the cognitive capacity to distinguish truth from lie. In addition, children this young can be very suggestible and impressionable, and they can be easily conditioned, indoctrinated, brainwashed, poisoned and coached to say things that please their interviewer.

Especially, if the interview is suggestive and leading and is not conducted in a structured manner. A parent who is alienating a child from another parent, wielding that child as ammunition (e.g. in a contentious custody battle), or a professional who is not privy to sound forensic child interview techniques, could use scripting, guided imagery, stereotype induction, closed-ended questions, anatomical dolls, puppets drawings, toys, cake, or candy or other means of positive reniforcement to unilaterally cajole a child into saying things that are not true.

Dr. Stephen Ceci's book - Jeopardy in the Courtroom - is the seminal book in this area of child suggestibility- as he conducted scores of scientific studies to prove that young kids can be easily manipulated. The first and foremost indicator that points to a reliable and valid child outcry or disclosure of sexual abuse is a contemporaneous or spontaneous report from the alleged child victim. Any possible contaminant such as  divorce, custody battle, parental discord, therapy, et al, can influence the reliability, credibility, and validity of the child's fresh complaint.