Topic : 11/03 Shocking Accusations

In my opinion Jeremy should be a registered sex offender for getting his 14 year old girlfriend pregnant when he was 20 plus years old. Is history repeating?  Thankful that this little girl is being protected while things are being investigated. Gee, let me think if I used my tongue with the birthday cake......

I don't feel good about this father one bit.

I am so angry at this episode! 

12 years ago, the same thing happened to me...and to my daughter.  I went to the police and charges were never filed against the man accused of hurting my child.  Now she is 16 years old and it has finally come out that it did really happen.  The last 3 years have been hell for our family because my daughter has acted out in every way possible.  At the time of my initial accusation, I was put in jail for slapping the man who did this to my daughter, my family said I was nuts---and for what?  He got away with it and now my child is suffering.  I am disgusted with the court system in our county. 

This show was difficult and took me back 18 years.  I am the parent of a child who could be Kahlee all over again.  I didn't have a Dr. Phil and what a mess it was.  Child protective services had little or no interest.  Though they stated that the case was "founded" they could not go forth with legal proceedings because it was determined she would not be a "credible" witness due to her age and the possibility of "Fantasy or Reality".  I feel Christa's Frustration.  

I didn't need a court to tell me that I would not expose my child to an environment that I could not "prove" was safe.  I violated all visitation orders and refused to comply unless the court would order supervised visitation.  When I moved to another state and the father filed for custody.... thank GOD the courts of Virginia were much more investigative and their Child Protective agency did care.  They researched and determined the case was "founded with merit".  They refused the father visitation unless he agreed to court appointed supervision.  He refused and suddenly lost interest in seeing her. 

I am grateful for many years of counseling for myself.... understanding the craziness.  I do see certain things that suggest to me that it will have a life long affect on my children.  My oldest child made a decision that her fight in life would be for "the children".  She has a Masters degree in Social Work and is currently working as an advocate for abused children.... my affected child is in her 3rd year of college, but I do see signs of delayed social developement. 

Dr. Phil, just wanted you to know.... the child protective service agencies have unrealistic caseloads and often do get frustrated when we continue to pursue uncomfortable allegations.  Please pursue this until YOU are comfortable with the findings.

You would never have convinced me that my child was being molested...never convinced me that I didn't know what was going on in my own home. Home, a place that implies safety, was not a safe place for my daughter. When she told her 'story', I knew she was telling the truth. Her abuse started when she was 4 or 5, and she said that it seemed like a dream, and in that dream her oldest brother "peed" in her mouth. The age at which she told this made me know that it was out of innocence that she thought that semen was urine.

I did all the 'right' things....had a child psychologist see her, it was reported to CPS, and to law enforcement. I took her to be examined by a doctor. The ONLY real outrage and concern that was shown to us was from the psychologist that treated my family. The police didn't think the case was strong enough, since she was telling something that had happened years before. Why didn't she tell earlier? It wasn't safe....her brother had her convinced that if she told anyone, then he would kill me, her mother, and her baby brother.

I am here to tell you that the doctor that examined my daughter, a doctor who I had, as a nurse worked with and respected her, stated "this goes on all the time"....as if I were over reacting to the horrendous revelation of what had happened to my daughter right in my own home. To this day, the deeds that my daughter was victim of, have gone unpunished, and my biggest fear is that her brother, now a father and stepfather is molesting his own children.

Dr. Phil, I am glad that your involvement related to child sexual abuse/molestation has been a positive experience. But I know, from a very personal experience, that this is not always the case. I don't believe that it is simply not caring on agencies' parts. I think that two big factors come into play. First, caseloads are enormous. Secondly, unfortunately, in the real world, this activity is hard to document/prove. CPS does not have the resources to use on a case by case basis like you are able to do in the case on today's show.

THANK YOU for asking the father to for now, have supervision when spending time with his daughter. At least, pending further investigation, we can know that she is not at risk of being molested by him. I was hoping that you would at the very least do something to be sure that she is safe until the truth comes out.

I cannot imagine the mother/grandmother telling Kaylee to say that her peepee was hurt, etc. But if they did, God help them....because everytime a false accusation is made, it takes away from the validity of all accusers.

If the father has molested his dauhter, as it appears on the surface, then he deserves at least the punishment that I have wished upon my own son......God be with them all.

Dr. Phil,

After 8 years as a child protective caseworker investigating instances of child abuse and neglect, I wish I had your faith in the system. 

There were many, many times when I was convinced in my heart that a child had been or was being abused but could do nothing about it because the evidence I was able to gather was inadequate.  In one particular instance, it took about 10 separate complaints to CPS and hours and hours of investigation over the course of a couple of years to get the level of evidence needed to satisfy the court that the child was being abused and needed protection.

Unfortunately, most child protective service departments are grossly over-worked and even if we do our very best for the children, it isn't enough.  Resources just aren't there.  CPS cannot effectively protect all children.

My husband and I have been married for 16 years and have 3 kids of our own in addition to my husband's daughter who is 17. Years ago there was no term "parental alienation" but her mother tried everything she could to do it - the court system let us down when she consistantly denied visitation- We saw her 5 or 6 times a year instead of the 2 days per week in the court order. The court did eventually appoint a parental coordinator but the coordinator quit after a month on the job- they never reappointed one and our family counselor told us we could never have a fulflilling relationship by forcing visitation through the court  -we learned lawyers only wanted billable hours- Her mother even accused our (5 year old at the time) son of sexually abusing his (then 10 year old) sister...When she was 14 her mother moved 1500 miles away to keep her from us. We had our rough years but I am proud to say we hung in there and she has recently moved in with us...She says her mother will be unhappy no matter what but she is happy now. Her mother cries and tells her she betrayed her by moving in with her Dad and begs to see her ...though at 17 she has a very busy life...There is a lesson here....good parents don't give up on their children & what comes around goes around