Topic : 11/03 Shocking Accusations

I see too many messages that substantiate what I too will add.  CPS has fallible human beings woring for it and unfortunately they can't really do a good job with the resources they have.  They have destroyed many lives by their own neglect or overzealousness.  IF THERE IS ANYONE out there that can tell how CPS saved them, I would like to hear it.  Most of the stories I hear are the other way around. 

i also noticed that it took himway to long to answer that question and also the question about whether he had EVER touched her inappropriately.  if somebody asked you that and you were actually innocent, you would have a knee jerk reaction of  NO NO NO!  and what was that garbage about her licking cake off of his mouth.  this guy is a real strange dude.  he has a history of abuse, i mean hello!!!dating a 14 year old when you are 21?!? say it with me G-R-O-S-S!  i hope dr. phil can nail him!

I think it only fair that someone who has appeared on national television tell it like it is. Some years ago, while living in NYC, I appeared on a musical quiz show. I had every reason to believe I would be calm. collected and a whiz at the answers. I was a serious music student. In fact, I had appeared on  NBC before this in a different capacity and figured I would ace it.

 

Not a chance. I later realized that every time I was asked a question, I either stumbled all over myself or acted like a mute or a dumber than dumb ninny. The pressure of the lights and the audience and the whole bloody thing turned me into a wimpy know nothing. Remember, this was a little show that gave out prizes like cameras or a few thou.! So what can it do to a person being accused of a major crime that is now the hot topic of the day on every show from Dateline to Dr. Phil? On a hot show that so many people watch?

 

Come on, folks, keep an open mind. Being slow thinking and scared and intimidated by  Momma and Super MOmma,not to mention Dr. Phil the Giant, combined with maybe not being the brightest crayon in the box isn't a crime. Jeez, what judgmental folks watch this show!

 

Read my own experiences with child sexual abuse and the law in my major posting tonight. "Keep an open mind" is its title. If you're into lynching, you won't like it.

Today when I watched Dr. Phil  I was sick to my stomach, and so sad, and angry about what I heard.  That poor little girl.  I do beleive the Father has done those things to her.  I'm so glad Dr. Phil is there to help.  They need to punish that Father for doing those things to his own Daughter.  It is a sick world and we need to protect our children and ALL children.  Listen to them.  Take action.   There are so many sexual offenders in this world that tougher laws need to be made for this sick Bastards.   Our Childrens lives are messed up.  Children can't be kids any more.  when something like this happens to them they grow up faster.  Some become sexual active at very young ages,  get involved with drugs.  These sick monsters get very little jail time or none at all.  I have a young child and I work with all ages of Children and I thought about all of them today when I watched the show.  I pray that they never are abused.  We need to take a stand and contact out local government offices and bring this to their attention to toughen these laws. 

I watched the show today and was so schocked that if this is really is true that the mother would let it go on if it were anyone of my children I would already be serving time in prison for taking care of the problem myself! I know that is not the solution to the problem but at least some of the abuse would stop I have a little girl myself and I shudder to think if anyone ever touched her inappropiately (thank God I have not had to face such an ordeal) I can sense that both parents seem to despise each other so it is really hard to tell who may be lying and who may not be.  I do know that I dont understand why he was not put in Jail when the little girl ended up in the hospital with a tear. I pray to God they find out who is lying and who is telling the truth.

if you didn't know him would you still feal the same way. Why do you think detectives and officers are not allowed to take a case if there is a personal connection. You need to be objective.

My dad molested me. I remember it clearly, They didnt believe me then and they still call me a lier today. They being my family." I've known him all his life and let me tell you what. He is not even capable of theese lies!!!" Take it from a victom, You never really know what people are capable behind closed doors.

Thank You

hurting

 

Right now I'm in the middle of a similar situation.  I'm going through a messy divorce, my ex had verbally, emotionally and sexually abused me for almost 11 years.  I finally took a stand, filed for divorce and moved myself and the kids.  The battle away from him, prompted us to file a domestic violence suit on him.  But because I had no witnesses that would testify on my behalf and was unable to convince the judge that the acquisations in my claim were real, they dismissed it.  It was decided that the kids would stay with me and he would have visitation. 

 

The first weekly night of visitation, the kids didn't call me.  I called my son's daycare the next day and was told his dad wasn't bringing him.  I called my daughter's elementary school and she wasn't there either.  A couple of hours later I get a call from the Department of Children and Families (DCF)  - I was told they had gotten a call to investigate acquisations that my children were being verbally, physically and possibly sexually abused by my boyfriend.  I have no boyfriend, I don't understand what this investigator from DCF is telling me.  It's all a lie that my ex had conjured together and said the kids said this person was hitting them, calling them names, watching them sleep.  My daughter just turned 7, my son 3 and a half.  The kids were interviewed, it was mentioned they thought while in his car he'd been drinking but not enough to cause any alarm and the kids appeared to be happy.  They left them there with him, they didn't come home that day like they were supposed to.  They then told me that the Child Protective Team would be interviewing my daughter the following day.  Which when they did they ending up not finding anything - but yet my daughter had been put  thru all of this.  There was nothing to find.  They thought that her dad had coached her to telling this story.  In the midst of this, the case wasn't closed so it couldn't be admitted into court, when we had a temporary custody hearing.  My ex accused me of being emotionally unstable because on two occasions I was given Prozac to help me deal with the stress of working full time, raising two small children, going to school and taking care of everything inside and outside the home.  I quite taking it because it wasn't the answer to the situation - a pill wasn't the fix to the problems.  But because of that they assumed it was the root of all the issues and made me look like the unstable parent.

 

Still somewhat under his domineering control, I froze in court and tried to defend myself, but it didn't work.  I was emotional and he was as calm as a cucumber.  Pervirbial liars I have found are credible witnesses to the Judge.  The court deemed custody based on pyschological evaluations.  We did that with a court appointed pyschologist. My ex  said that our daughter  had made up the lie and he reacted upon it.  I saw the detailed description of this supposed boyfriend in a report - there is no way a person as such could be created by a six year old unless he actually existed and was in the day to day lives of these kids.  The even scarier part was realizing he had conjured together a description of characteristics of my ex fiance and a few ex boyfriends that I had over 20 years ago.   The pyschologist recommended 50/50 visitation, one week with dad, one with mom.  And right now that is what I'm stuck with.  Even though I know he lied to the court, lied to the pyschologist and put his kids through all of this, he still has rights.  I did nothing wrong and I'm the one having my kids taken away a week at a time.  I'm the bad person here for leaving a man who stood before court and said, even with her flaws, she's still a good mother, I still love her and want to work it out.  I am the bad mom for seperating her kids from their father, all I was doing was getting us away from the abuse. 

 

Proving that to the court, good luck, it's like your invisable.  Because my ex said I'm the  liar, they believe him.  This is where I'm at right now, final judgement day is being set and I've got a couple of months to prove he's the unfit parent.  I'm the one being accused of not stepping up to the plate and stopping something that never, ever happened and the legal system can't see through this.  It's unbelievable.  I've also been told that many times that when there are custody issues, the unfit parent abuses the legal system to get their way.  I need help with this.  If anyone has any advice on how to prove that I'm not the guilty one here, just an honest mom and he's the liar  I would greatly appreciate it

It worries & distrubs me that people would make judgements based solely on their experiences without the benefit of opening themselves up to other possibilities.   It is, in fact, a very sad affair when a parent would use a child to punish an ex.  However, I have a very outspoken 4 year old.  It is my belief that should she be abused in any way, she would not only tell me openly, but also use terminology such as "He touched my pee pee".  Also, knowing my child's personality, I believe she would also openly point the predator out face to face.  We can't judge what a child would or wouldn't say from one instance or one child that we know.  Children, just like us, have varying personalities & varying responses to trauma.  Kaylee's stress during pick-up time could very well be her way of dealing with the alleged trauma in her life.

I sure hope you don't have kids becuase if there are others with your attitude, it could be one of them who doesn't care about kids and  next time it could be your kid and that person not stepping up to help your kid.

I understand that you may deserve better pay and treatment but don't blame the innocent for your problems, that will only make you more bitter then you already are and life will not get better.
 

If you have never been in that situation, dont be so quick  judge the fact of them taking  a year.  I have been in the same situation and it took me 6 months to through the proper channels of

police and CP.  As a parent you cant believe this is really happening to your child and that the

offender is the other parent. Also all the answers dont come all at once.