Topic : Tired of Being Single

Okay im sick of not having a girl friend its not right im 21 male down to earth get along with everyone im open minded aware of peoples needs im a drummer in a band i play the guirtar, sing, and a bit of the keyboard id say my looks are about 710 i know that you have to take the risk to gain the prize but i go through stages of trying and the other side is why should i even have to try girls should be after me not because im perfect or the hottest but because im everything a girl should want........i think i hope i dont sound to stuck up in saying that but its true so what should i do. 

cool catch ya 

PS i will proberly feel like a idiot for saying this on a message board for everyone to tommorrow but its better than saying nothing i guess hahahah 

Confidence is good. I am a woman and I can tell you that most girls don't get the good guy thing until they are in their late 20's, until then it's all about the bad boy. I got to tell you that I have always been attracted to the guys that seem not attracted to me. If you want a girl to try, you have to act like you can't give her the time of day. I know this is stupid. All girls really want is the good guy but you have to act like a bad guy to get us. 

Hope this helps!!! 

I don't want to sound like I'm diminishing your problem, but 8 months, isn't really what I think of as an extensive length of time, and I wouldn't start getting too worked up over it yet...when you reach 8 years or so, then you can start complaining. 

However, here's what I suggest...school.  Take a class in something, especially something you're interested in.  I have a friend, just wanted to take better pictures, and met her husband in a photography class...worked for her, why not you?   

Another easy option is to simply go to a coffee shop, or restaurant, and just sit and read for a while.  Based on the mere exposure effect, other people who frequent the joint (maybe staff) won't be able to help but like you, and starting a conversation is easier for either party.   

You could volunteer for a charity, or a political campaign, to meet some new people, or even help out the community. 

Lastly keep an open mind, and keep your eyes open.  I was reading this interesting article that basically said that women tend to limit their options as to where they can meet men...there are essentially designated areas to meet people...like bars, or...well, bars.  Basically there is no bad place to meet a guy (okay, maybe prisons and strip clubs, but you don't spend a lot of time there, do you?).  Remember, that you might meet someone waiting for a train (that's where my Dad met his girlfriend), riding an elevator, grocery shopping, at a laundromat, etc..  Just try starting up a conversation with someone you think you might be interested in (ask for the time, or some other relevant info), and see if there's some potential. 

Hope that means something to you, 

Good luck, 

Craigles 

Thank you so much for the advice. I know 8 months isn't long- but to me it is. I have never gone more then 4 months without being in a new relationship. I know it's probably good that I've been single for a longer period of time then I'm used to. I like the ideas you gave me, I will for sure keep them in mind.  

Jesica 

I just have a question… for one of the guys I guess… most of you are very supportive and seem to care… so I would like your opinion.  

I have known this guy for a while and always had a crush on him. I’d bump into him a few times a month. One afternoon we were sitting there and I just kinda told him… “hey, I use to have the biggest crush on you”. We have been spending more and more time together ever since. We have stayed at each other houses (just falling a asleep on the couch watching t.v. and such… a little snuggling, nothing more) We’re not officially dating but we sorta look like we are (if that even makes sense???)  

He pulled the whole “we need to talk” thing a couple of days ago and he tells me he’s been seeing someone for a while and that he just wanted to be up front with me (which I appreciate). He gets into the whole I love spending time with you and the attention you give me but I just have to see where this is going with this other girl, that’s why I’ve never taken this further, bla bla bla… O.K. no biggie I tell him, we’re really not that far into this and we’re great friends, so it’s okay … I said that he’s great and that he’s missing out by not dating me because I’m the best (we were joking around) and that it’s fine and we’ll just chill out on the whole thought of dating for now… we laughed, the end. 

He drops me off that evening and tells me he’ll hang for a while… This is fine with me. We watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch again, which is TOTAL snuggle session, worse than before (nothing more than that, dirty minds) and we’re back to where we left off before the whole chat… 

I am so confused. I tend to be very unapproachable and tend to be so nonchalant about dating (the wall after the divorce) that I have no idea what to do. Normally I would just stay completely away and be done with him… But I do really like him (it’s been a while since I have even found a guy a like) and I know the feeling is mutual. I just don’t get it.  

Kinda long … sorry! 

Help!!!!