Topic : Tired of Being Single

i m deb 42 yrs of age .am now recently single again. after dating a guy for 10 mths to which early in the relationship he went back to an ex gf. as we d only not long met and lived 2 hrs away we only saw each other on wekends.  not knowing him that well i thought i d try to get him back,to which i succeeded... i thought i d be ok  at dealing with it as he was everything i d been asking for in a guy.  well i might ve been but he kept in contact with her txting her and calling her,.his ph one was private he said,he d have it upside down or on silent.   when i was around.  he also only has female friends n says he can t get male friends. i suffer from low self acceptance ,low selfesteem..  my friends say that i m attractive and have a gud figure especially for my age.   i tried very hard to except all this but i was nt able to. he knew i d been hurt many times before and was trying to get trust back with men...  he kept asking for forgive ness, to which i thought i had . he blames my not loving myself  and not thinking i m gud enuff to keep him for the breakdown in the relationship.he says he needs a confident girl??? so now i m back to sqaure 1 of no trust in menand feeling even more insecure about myself ,thinking i m not gud enuff to be loved.... could you deal with a guy that did that or was  it my attitude that has done it.   i hate being single i just want to be in a long term relation ship

Yeah cool i read this and think of that one comment "i just have to see where it is going with this other girl" dont play second fiddle to no one im trying to see it from your position and im thinking its not fair on you waiting like this its not fair on his current girlfriend. 

Im sure your a intelligent nice women and you dont want to be placed second so straight out tell him how you feel and there has to be a decision right there!!! he could be a good bloke confused or he could be the cheating type so that is all the more for him to choose. 

  

Second point if he chooses the other woman and you continue to be friends snuggling and there is any chance of cheating well then i think you have to discontinue the relationship in that manner. 

  

*Remember a honest man dosnt think in terms of oh "i just have to see where it is going with this other woman"   He could be a good bloke confused or a cheater  

  

I think you main concern should be getting self confidence and then going from there in regards to dating and if you want help with that then check the dr phil website out     

hey all, 

  whats going on? i must say today i'm watching the show and well i'm kind of pissed.. he's got a few women whom are single and hes teaching them how to be better at the whole dating thing. it's just not women who are having problenms in this feild.. i just wish he would help all of the lost souls looking for love in the wrong places... 

I've been divorced for over 3 yrs.  In that time my love life has ceased to exist.  In fact I don't think a woman has even looked at me the whole time.  Women aren't the only ones who'd like some help in the area of finding a real lasting relationship.  I know I would sure like any help anyone would offer!

Well, here's my opinion...!!  I am 28 years old, single, sometimes loving it, sometimes not loving it.  I have come to the conclusion though that I just haven't found the right one yet.  I've been close but when I really look back and think of past relationships, it's obvious to me now, that those guys' were not the right one or I would still be with one of them.  Right?  I've had my heart broken a few times but I feel like I always learn something from each experience.  I believe I'm a good catch, so I believe that some special guy in the future will fall in love with me and he will be my match.  Until then, I guess I just keep at it.  There's only one ex in my past that I don't communicate with but every other guy is still a good friend of mine and that's a good thing.  

I don't know, maybe it's me, maybe that's why my relationships always fall apart.  I just know I'm not giving my full self to just anyone, I'm not capable of that anymore.  When I was younger, yeah, but as I get older I know pretty much what I'm looking for.  Some say I'm too picky but I believe you have to be.  Especially if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.  I'm not settling for any less than my expectations are.   

So... here I am, still single, hoping that Mr. Right will find me cause you know what I'm sick of looking for him!! 

hey, i am with you man. it doesnt make since why he would help the women out and not the guys too.

I have been single now for 2003, 

Well I am sure you all know single is fun only for a short period of time and that is at the beginning of your being single. I was for me, I could come and go as I please without having to say I am going here going there, not asking just letting them know.  

I know I had loads of fun for the first two years, going to house parties, bars, beaches parties with friends, making new friends. My children are teenagers so I didn't haven't worry about babysitters and the friends I did want to have with me had children and needed sitters, So it was a lil tuff in that area. 

I could go out of town for days before I had to go back into camp. But now I am ready to settle myself down with one person. I have looked and looked and looked and with out success found no one. 

The guys I do like and would like to be with don't want a relationship and these are the really nice guys. The guys I don't want to be with want to be with me, one is 15 years older than me, way to old, the other guys I have attacted were guys on welfare and wanted me just for my money, or I just don't feel the same way aboutt them the way they feel about me.  

What is the deal with when there is interest in a person there are many other people that have the same interest in that person as well? 

 

I Didnt see the show i guess he only had the woman on cause %95 of the mail that he would recieve would be from woman but yeah I know what you mean. Cool catch ya

Maybe it's because Dr Phil wrote the book for women, so that's who he'll focus on. Most guys I know don't read books like that (or at least don't admit to reading them!) so perhaps Dr P thinks there is no target market there. That said, at least one of my friends would read a book like that for guys if I threw it at him, then it would get discreetly passed around our other single guy friends ;-) 

  

My main problem with Dr P's advice is that all my friends are guys (it's been that way since I was 3 or 4 years old) so I don't have any gal pals to go out looking for dates with. According to Dr P that will put men off as they'll think I'm with someone already :-( I can go out on my own but then there's the safety issue.. 

  

Not sure how to get around that one! 

  

Cat172 

find a man to date! My best friend is successful , has a college degree, very independent, and is an ex-model. Her problem is that, ever since she got divorced, she has dated only guys that are at least 10 yrs. younger than her. She really wants to find a guy who has found his way in life and is ready to give her a mature relationship. So, this is my way of intervening on her behalf. Does anyone have any advice that can help her find the right guy?