Topic : Tired of Being Single

My Dad was a single father of three girls. I am asingle 25 year old female and I love dating men with kids! Of course there are a few issues, and I guess I could give you this advice about how to go about it. I dated a guy with two kids for several years, and I was heartbroken and completely devestated when I wanted to end things and had to walk away from two little children who loved me. So when I guy tells me he has kids, these are my concerns. 

*The relationship with the kids' mother should be either nonexistent or positive.  

*It's important not to introduce the girl to your kids until you really know her and know you like her. I mean, wait until you feel like you can see a future with her. 

*Give them a few dates before you spring it on them. GIve them a chance to know what kid of man you are. My ex didn't tell me until we'd been out four times. It scared me a little, but by that time i'd gotten a chance to like him. 

* Find a girl who either has kids of her own, or wants a family. She will not be scared off as easily. 

There are some women out there like me. I am a paramedic and am trying to get into Medical school. I work 24 hour shifts and then go to school and the only guys I meet are either Firemen or Cops or guys at the gym. I guess I'm in a similar place because I don't have time energy to go out to bars and on dates and blah blah blah. I just wish I could find a stable, responsible kind hearted guy who's got more on his mind than showing me off or getting drunk. As such, I like a guy with kids and responsibilites. 

So, look for a lady with challenges of her own who isn't just looking for a good time. 

Hope that helps!  

First of all I want to say it is nice to see a man watching and interested in Dr. Phil. I think we can all learn from him and wouldn't we all want a relationship like his and Robins. I must say that you are brave to come on here and admit that you are a single father of 4. I guess the main question is where is the mother. I know I have a probelm getting with a guy that the ex is constantly a part of our new life together. I wonder if you are meeting women that either have their own children and are thinking that if you were to get with them it would be like YOURS MINE and OURS, which by the way was a great movie, but a movie none the less. Or maybe they are thinking that you probably since you have 4 kids would not want anymore and they may be wanting their own. You might want to set your sights on women that love children but can't have their own and then they would love your children like their own (of course as long as she started off with a good relationship with you). I myself would love to meet a man that has children that I could be a part of a family because I couldn't have children so I married a man that was a lot older because he didn't want any since I couldn't have any. I have the opposite problem, I am 44, divorced for 6 years and most men my age either they want them and I can't give them or they have them and the ex wife is so much in their life that it is hard to build a relationship with them. Just my troubles. By the way what is your state???? Who knows maybe we are in the same state. I hope you have a good day. Mary  

First of all I want to say it is nice to see a man watching and interested in Dr. Phil. I think we can all learn from him and wouldn't we all want a relationship like his and Robins. I must say that you are brave to come on here and admit that you are a single father of 4. I guess the main question is where is the mother. I know I have a probelm getting with a guy that the ex is constantly a part of our new life together. I wonder if you are meeting women that either have their own children and are thinking that if you were to get with them it would be like YOURS MINE and OURS, which by the way was a great movie, but a movie none the less. Or maybe they are thinking that you probably since you have 4 kids would not want anymore and they may be wanting their own. You might want to set your sights on women that love children but can't have their own and then they would love your children like their own (of course as long as she started off with a good relationship with you). I myself would love to meet a man that has children that I could be a part of a family because I couldn't have children so I married a man that was a lot older because he didn't want any since I couldn't have any. I have the opposite problem, I am 44, divorced for 6 years and most men my age either they want them and I can't give them or they have them and the ex wife is so much in their life that it is hard to build a relationship with them. Just my troubles. By the way what is your state???? Who knows maybe we are in the same state. I hope you have a good day. Mary  

HI ! I REALLY LIKED WHAT YOU WROTE AND I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU SINCE I AM A SINGLE FATHER. THAT I HAVE BEEN SINGLE FOR THREE YEARS ALSO AND I FIND IT VERY HARD TO MEET PEOPLE BECAUSE WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT YOU HAVE KIDS OF YOUR OWN THEY RUN AWAY. I STILL BELIEVE THAT THE GUY SHOULD PICK UP THE TAB FOR DINNER AND THE MOVIE OR SOMETHING ELSE. EVEN IF IT IS THE 20TH DATE I WOULD GO ON WITH THE SAME LADY. BUT THAT IS WHAT I BELIEVE IN SO DONT GIVE UP AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!FROM TEXAS 

Ok, so I'll be quick and sum up what's been going on with this girl for at most six months. First off, she's a really awesome woman, we got along great and I was even ok with the fact that she has a boyfriend that is about 2500 miles away from us where we currently live. However, this is also partially the reason why I didn't want to hang out with her at all.  

She wouldn't have it, she pressed and did the whole 'guilt trip' thing about her and I hanging out, be it alone or with others. So we hung out, there is obviously strong emotions between the two of us for one another in both a physical and emotional way. She even would go to her friends, my friends and her parents saying that she wants to be with me, wants to break up with her boyfriend and all the feelings. Her parents even told me that she would always want me with her wherever she was if I wasn't there, if I was there, she was happy and if I wasn't there, I was always on her mind and she was always talking about me.  

So after a little bit of hearing from others that and things like that, I confronted her about it. Her reaction, she flipped out on me. Then I'm told by a mutual friend that she went directly up to them and said, "I really do like him and want to see where it could go. I would like to add a 'sexual' aspect to our relationship and see what happens." So they said to her, if you want to be friends with him and add like a 'friends with benefits" aspect to it, then you need to either just do something and quick or sit down and tell him. She never did actually do anything and when things would happen, she would say stop, so I would. 

However, again when I confronted her about it, she again went balistic on me. Then she tells me that it's only and will only ever be friends and nothing more. But now, she doesn't talk to me at all Sunday night through Thursday, the only time she does talk to me is like Friday, Saturday and Sunday during the day, obviously the times that it is like the bar/club time and good for going out for a ride on my motorcycle. Other than that, she doesn't say anything. 

She wants me to meet her boyfriend, who knows who I am and all the time that her and I used to spend together. One of my friends said that she is probably now pissed because I approached her about the 'being together' or 'friends with benefits' thing, and she was hoping that I didn't find that out. 

What to do? Help me out?