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Topic : Tired of Being Single

Number of Replies: 3875
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:12:41 pm
Author : dataimport

Have you had enough of the single life? What are you doing to find happiness? Share your story. For your safety and privacy, please do not post personal information such as phone numbers, addresses, social security numbers or any other private information. Please use common sense when using this message board and never give out your personal information online.

 

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October 10, 2005, 4:34 pm CDT

Freedom 45

Quote From: golden1

     You have my attention. I haven't been on a date since 1983. I wasted five years of my life in a relationship with a guy whose family did not approve of me(he was Caucasian, I'm not). That sort of cured me of the desire to date. I know, I shouldn't judge all men by one bad experience, but the dating scene actually scares me. Whenever I gave a guy my phone number, it has NOT been a pleasant experience. I wonder if there are others out there who have had similar experiences. By the way, I'm--over 40. :-)

you got my attention to. I am over 40 was married for 20 years to a typical dominant male. One day I said no thank you. Being divorced now for 4 years. I have been dating every third week-end for the past year. Being in the same neighborhood I find similar types of guys. So I moved. What I found usefull is go and join a sport club  or whatever you like and enjoy. That's the way I find myself laughing, enjoying life and meeting people. Dating does not mean you need to sleep with the guy. With HIV and all this bull going around I am not looking for trouble I had enough of that in my pass life... Enjoy your freedom, laugh and make friends, relax ....life is what you want it to be.... Its all a question of choices... 

 
October 10, 2005, 11:08 pm CDT

don't tell me to grow up!

Quote From: carbtex

It is time for you to let you mom go take a hike. Let her know that you have been embarrassed and certainly do not need someone to bring you down especially your own mother. Send this guy a note of apology and wishing to meet with him. See what happens. If he does not reply let it go...

It's not like I planned it to happen, and I don't normally hang out with my mom BECAUSE of her rude behavior.  I have told her what I felt, & I wasn't planning on seeing him in the same place the other day. What more can I say???  I'm asking for advice on the other thing, NOT about my mother. 

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

 
October 11, 2005, 12:15 am CDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: carbtex

you got my attention to. I am over 40 was married for 20 years to a typical dominant male. One day I said no thank you. Being divorced now for 4 years. I have been dating every third week-end for the past year. Being in the same neighborhood I find similar types of guys. So I moved. What I found usefull is go and join a sport club  or whatever you like and enjoy. That's the way I find myself laughing, enjoying life and meeting people. Dating does not mean you need to sleep with the guy. With HIV and all this bull going around I am not looking for trouble I had enough of that in my pass life... Enjoy your freedom, laugh and make friends, relax ....life is what you want it to be.... Its all a question of choices... 

     Thanks for the advice; now if only I can find some DECENT guys to date..... :-)
 
October 11, 2005, 9:57 am CDT

Its's time to move on.

Quote From: barbelle11

that's a few too many chances if you ask me.  That's six months of your precious time he is wasting.
  I'm sorry, but this guy has ahd one too mant chances. Once a snake always a snake.  This guy will never change and if he does he will one day go back to the way he was.  I'm 35 years old and was married for 10 years. Besides my son it was a waste.  I have morals and values that I have been tought since I was a kid. If you are going to try to change someone that late in life it doesn't work unless he/she is wanting to change.   I hope you can stand up to this guy and move and have a happy life and find someone that can respect you and love you for who you are.
 
October 11, 2005, 12:48 pm CDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: soft_heart

when you least expect it, someone will walk into your life.  you won't even be looking for them.
Looking at your picture you should not have to wait around for someone to ask you out.  If "Joe" does not see that you could or do have feeling for him by the way look at him than he's not for you. Looking for someone older than you is up to you I've heard a lot of stories on how it worked and didn'y work.  But I will say one thing -- I just got divorced and I been looking too but if at first you don't get that feeling than it wasn't meant to be.  Just hold and one he will look into our eyes and you will know he's the one.
 
October 11, 2005, 12:55 pm CDT

Tired of being single

Quote From: soft_heart

when you least expect it, someone will walk into your life.  you won't even be looking for them.

I am so glad I saw your post.  I just got out of a very painful situation and feeling like I will never be special to anyone.  The challenge I am facing is being able to "trust" as it seems that no matter how careful I am, I get taken for a ride. 

 
October 11, 2005, 1:18 pm CDT

Enjoy your free time

Read through all the posts and have learn't alot of good things.  The bottom line for me is to find some past time that I ENJOY and enjoy that plus the people I meet.  So many times I have put my life on hold due to negative things, just like the man from hell I just got away from, and forget the goals I had set in place before I met him.  For me, I think it is time to find "group" stuff, this way I am not in "isolation" to be tempted to get involved before I know what type of man he is.  Another thing I need to do is "check out" the situation.  With the last man, I had no way to contact him = he is a player, married or living with someone.  But here again, I was feeling "needy" and "allowed" myself to get baited.  One of my top priorities is to find another job, and to be honest, right now all I want is to stay in the bed and sleep.  But I know that it is critical for me to locate my "career passion" and tap into that not only because it is something I have wanted, but he works with me.  Yep, here I am, in my 40's, knew better but allowed myself to get "worn down".  I knew better than to get involved with someone I work with.
 
October 12, 2005, 1:04 pm CDT

how to deal

Hey guys..........oddly ths thread isn't exactly what I need, anyhoo here it is. I am 30 yrs old and have never had a serious relationship-which I was always ok with. So almost2mths ago I meet an amazing man. He's kind, gentle very caring and he likes me! He is 34 and in the latter stages of divorce. She left him and since meeting me he has realized he hasn't gotten over as much as he had thought. He has 3 kids (the oldest was hers from another relationship) 17, 9 and 7. He really wants me to meet them, and I cannot wait. I knew before we were introduced what his situation was and am fully prepared to help him through all the wounds that have come back to the surface. My problem is having never been married , divorced, having been hurt by anyone or having children of my own........I know sometimes he feels that I cannot understand (which in theory is true) but I want to help and support him w/o scaring him away....he sometiems laughs and says I freak him out because none of his issues scare me......i'd like to know how partners deal with a partner who has been hurt, divorced etc....and how they dealt with the insecurities and all that comes with someone who feels they are "damaged" goods! 

Thanks in advance! 

 
October 12, 2005, 2:25 pm CDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: angelswave

Hey guys..........oddly ths thread isn't exactly what I need, anyhoo here it is. I am 30 yrs old and have never had a serious relationship-which I was always ok with. So almost2mths ago I meet an amazing man. He's kind, gentle very caring and he likes me! He is 34 and in the latter stages of divorce. She left him and since meeting me he has realized he hasn't gotten over as much as he had thought. He has 3 kids (the oldest was hers from another relationship) 17, 9 and 7. He really wants me to meet them, and I cannot wait. I knew before we were introduced what his situation was and am fully prepared to help him through all the wounds that have come back to the surface. My problem is having never been married , divorced, having been hurt by anyone or having children of my own........I know sometimes he feels that I cannot understand (which in theory is true) but I want to help and support him w/o scaring him away....he sometiems laughs and says I freak him out because none of his issues scare me......i'd like to know how partners deal with a partner who has been hurt, divorced etc....and how they dealt with the insecurities and all that comes with someone who feels they are "damaged" goods! 

Thanks in advance! 

Well... I hestitate to answer to your quote.. you might want to skip mine, if you are not prepared to hear the negative. He is 34 and has a 17 year old which means he was a young dad. His youngest is 7 which means he still needs to be an active dad. You have met him when he is still married and  I assume sex is involved.  You have no marital experience and no children, and you will probably assume that the ex-wife will just accept you as is. I feel you are starting out on a very shaking foundation. Very shaky.   Frankly I would have waited a year after his divorce to get involved with him.  If you choose to stay in this :relationship", be prepared for anger, stress, children that will hate you, (because you are technically the other woman), resentments, etc. I mean can you get out of it? Seriously. Sometimes you need more than love and a lucky penny. 

  

 
October 12, 2005, 2:41 pm CDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: roxsndluv2

Well... I hestitate to answer to your quote.. you might want to skip mine, if you are not prepared to hear the negative. He is 34 and has a 17 year old which means he was a young dad. His youngest is 7 which means he still needs to be an active dad. You have met him when he is still married and  I assume sex is involved.  You have no marital experience and no children, and you will probably assume that the ex-wife will just accept you as is. I feel you are starting out on a very shaking foundation. Very shaky.   Frankly I would have waited a year after his divorce to get involved with him.  If you choose to stay in this :relationship", be prepared for anger, stress, children that will hate you, (because you are technically the other woman), resentments, etc. I mean can you get out of it? Seriously. Sometimes you need more than love and a lucky penny. 

  

sorry i think i need to clarify some things. his 17 yr old was hers, not his but he choses to keep in touch  with her. I met him while in the process of divorce (separated a year and a half before I met him)....definately not the "other" woman more, more like a new beginning!
 
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