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Topic : Tired of Being Single

Number of Replies: 3875
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:12:41 pm
Author : dataimport

Have you had enough of the single life? What are you doing to find happiness? Share your story. For your safety and privacy, please do not post personal information such as phone numbers, addresses, social security numbers or any other private information. Please use common sense when using this message board and never give out your personal information online.

 

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October 15, 2005, 7:29 pm CDT

Should I Make the First Move?!

I had posted this on the "Online Dating" message board category, but couldn't get a quicker response. . .

I am a 23-year-old woman who is trying to put herself out "on the market" (i.e. online dating websites) sort of speak as far as dating since I don't have much success in meeting people face-to-face. I have been single for over a year and a half and would like to meet someone who shares the similar qualities and interests as me.   

   

I am a sweet, beautiful, smart, and average sized woman and most of my friends call me a "pimpette" since a lot of guys usually are after me, but I don't find them attractive at all. I only had two somewhat successful relationships that started off from meeting online and hope that I will meet a great guy (i.e. my husband) online someday.   

   

My question is that there is this guy I find very attractive on one of the online dating websites who lives in the same area as me and shares similar qualities and interests as me too. I would love to meet him and get to know him better, but my problem is that I have always had the guy approach me first since I grew up believing that "man pursues woman" and if you do make the first move, the guy will perceive you as "desperate" or wasn't into you in the first place. I have got some matches already, but I don't find them attractive or have any interest in them. What should I do??? Please help me. I am hoping and praying that I met this man someday. All of your advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks!  

 
October 17, 2005, 3:24 am CDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: barbelle11

...just out of curiosity, how old are the people you are hanging out with?
HI...honestly I don't really have many friends let alone any really my age.....but my one is 32 one 42 and the other 34
 
October 17, 2005, 5:27 am CDT

Tired of Being Single

 
October 17, 2005, 12:44 pm CDT

need to start over

I am 35 years old,  divorced twice,  no super model by any means.     I have no idea at all how and/or where to meet single men.  How does this dating thing even work anymore.  I dont have a ton of money to do all the online dating sites.  i dont hang out at bars.   i just dont know what i am doing... 
 
October 18, 2005, 9:54 am CDT

How can I know the difference?

Ladies, I really need your help! 

  

How can I tell the difference between: 

  • when a woman (stranger or recently introduced) is being friendly, for the simple sake of being friendly, and nothing more
  • when a woman is being friendly as her subtle way of expressing "I'm interested in you. Ask me out!"

Call me dense and oblivious, but I almost never can tell the difference because women are frequently so terribly subtle, that I usually realize what is happening after the opportunity has long passed me by. I'm not good with body language interpretation either, because again, it's too subtle. Example: Jane Doe flipping her hair and twirling it between her fingertips doesn't tell me a whole lot. Maybe she just likes to play with her hair and its a habit; how should I know? 

  

I have read books and stuff about "signals" women are supposed to give, but as I explained above, I rarely interpret that as flirting. I just take it at face value. What should I do? Any advice? 

 
October 18, 2005, 4:14 pm CDT

Tired of guys games!

   I am a 41 yr old woman  that has been divorced 3 times  because of abuse. Please do not take that wrong I am NOT asking for you pity.  

    I am grateful the all the obstacles that God has given to me because that has allowed me to grow an become the woman I am today!  

    I have been single for 5 yrs now by my choice to work on me and about 6 mos ago I started looking to date again and I seem to only find the type of guys that want to play game or not be honest !  Are their really any REAL men left in the world?  Someone that can be honest and accept me for the woman I am ? (an my 3 son) 

   I am at the point now that I am just willing to single for the rest of my life ...... but that is not what I want at all. I have a lot of love to give to the right man. Some of my friends tell me I am just a hopeless romantic and that is just not the real world. But I disagree! 

  Tell are there any real men left in the world that still believe in romance? Or am I out in left field with my ideas?  Any advice would be great! 

 
October 19, 2005, 4:04 am CDT

Friendly or flirting?

Quote From: aaminne

Ladies, I really need your help! 

  

How can I tell the difference between: 

  • when a woman (stranger or recently introduced) is being friendly, for the simple sake of being friendly, and nothing more
  • when a woman is being friendly as her subtle way of expressing "I'm interested in you. Ask me out!"

Call me dense and oblivious, but I almost never can tell the difference because women are frequently so terribly subtle, that I usually realize what is happening after the opportunity has long passed me by. I'm not good with body language interpretation either, because again, it's too subtle. Example: Jane Doe flipping her hair and twirling it between her fingertips doesn't tell me a whole lot. Maybe she just likes to play with her hair and its a habit; how should I know? 

  

I have read books and stuff about "signals" women are supposed to give, but as I explained above, I rarely interpret that as flirting. I just take it at face value. What should I do? Any advice? 

Alright then, you're dense and oblivious.   

First, forget the 'signals'... urban myth, evolutionary mumbo jumbo, add puritan sexual mind games, God knows what else and we're all screwed and off the track...no one does what we're supposed to anymore. 

Another reason to forget the signals is they are a complete stereotype (boooo).  Women are individuals, with individual reactions when we are attracted to a man.  Some of the clearest 'signals' we send are things that possibly no one else will do... you'll learn subtle is a good thing. 

When a woman, stranger or recently introduced, is being friendly...you're being friendly...feels nice but you don't know, you're not interpreting it... 

friendly smile, 

and ask her, ask her, she knows 

...are you flirting with me? 

  

  

 
October 20, 2005, 5:55 am CDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: catnap_

Alright then, you're dense and oblivious.   

First, forget the 'signals'... urban myth, evolutionary mumbo jumbo, add puritan sexual mind games, God knows what else and we're all screwed and off the track...no one does what we're supposed to anymore. 

Another reason to forget the signals is they are a complete stereotype (boooo).  Women are individuals, with individual reactions when we are attracted to a man.  Some of the clearest 'signals' we send are things that possibly no one else will do... you'll learn subtle is a good thing. 

When a woman, stranger or recently introduced, is being friendly...you're being friendly...feels nice but you don't know, you're not interpreting it... 

friendly smile, 

and ask her, ask her, she knows 

...are you flirting with me? 

  

  

Hi! 

I fully agree with that signals are not reliable to go by. The best thing is obviously to ask (as you suggested).  

feliss 

 
October 20, 2005, 6:11 am CDT

Tired of FAKES

I am a 35 year old single mom.  I have tried the internet thing.  I attend church regularly and have a ton of friends.  I have decided to stay single.  The reason for my decision is because I can not find any "real" men out there.  Everyone I have run into whether it be in my church or on the internet is fake and not true to who they are.  They will tell me what they beleive I want to hear.  Being a Christian they will pray with me, quote scripture to me, tell me how much they would love to be a father to my son, and then turn out to be totally lying.  It will turn out they are not commited to God.  They are more interested in sex than anything else.  They are using my son to get me to fall more for them.  They have turned out to be married, say they have a job when in fact they are not working, say they have their own place when in fact they still live at home with their parents, etc.   

I have seen posts on here regarding women that do not tell the truth.  Well, I for one am not one of those.  I am upfront that I am a Christian.  I am upfront that I will  not have sex until marriage.  I am upfront that although I am not looking for a millionaire, I am looking for someone that is financially stable and can at least take care of themselves and live on their own.  I take care of me and my son, I just don't want the responsibility of having to financially take care of someone else.  I am tired of being single, but I am not wiling to throw out all of my morals and values in order to be in a relationship.  Most of my friends and all my family are married.  I often feel like a third wheel at family functions and when around my married friends because they can talk about their spouses, their sex lives, and other marital things that I can't.   But, I have now chosen to stay single rather than settle for someone in my life that is going to lie to me in the beginning about who they truly are.  I am not doing the internet thing anymore,  I do not go to bars,  and my friends that are single....We get together and hang out with our children, and have a wonderful time. 

 
October 20, 2005, 8:45 am CDT

Congratulations

Quote From: sueellis35

I am a 35 year old single mom.  I have tried the internet thing.  I attend church regularly and have a ton of friends.  I have decided to stay single.  The reason for my decision is because I can not find any "real" men out there.  Everyone I have run into whether it be in my church or on the internet is fake and not true to who they are.  They will tell me what they beleive I want to hear.  Being a Christian they will pray with me, quote scripture to me, tell me how much they would love to be a father to my son, and then turn out to be totally lying.  It will turn out they are not commited to God.  They are more interested in sex than anything else.  They are using my son to get me to fall more for them.  They have turned out to be married, say they have a job when in fact they are not working, say they have their own place when in fact they still live at home with their parents, etc.   

I have seen posts on here regarding women that do not tell the truth.  Well, I for one am not one of those.  I am upfront that I am a Christian.  I am upfront that I will  not have sex until marriage.  I am upfront that although I am not looking for a millionaire, I am looking for someone that is financially stable and can at least take care of themselves and live on their own.  I take care of me and my son, I just don't want the responsibility of having to financially take care of someone else.  I am tired of being single, but I am not wiling to throw out all of my morals and values in order to be in a relationship.  Most of my friends and all my family are married.  I often feel like a third wheel at family functions and when around my married friends because they can talk about their spouses, their sex lives, and other marital things that I can't.   But, I have now chosen to stay single rather than settle for someone in my life that is going to lie to me in the beginning about who they truly are.  I am not doing the internet thing anymore,  I do not go to bars,  and my friends that are single....We get together and hang out with our children, and have a wonderful time. 

I found your message very affirming.I do not say that because I feel exactly as you do but because you sound as though you have put so much thought into your position and are willing to stand by what you feel is right for you and your son.  Not everyone is willing to be that mature about such matters. I also put my faith first on my priority list. Because of this I have come to believe that everyone we meet in this life is put in our path to teach us something. Some of us need a few more lessons than others I guess. I know I have at times.  I also believe God has a plan for each of us and if we are willing to try to see what it is He will make sure we learn it eventually.  I also believe that although He has given us a free will to make the right decisions there are times we need to do "nothing" and let Him guide us. That may be the stage you are at now if you have decided not to actively seek out someone.  If it is Divine intervention that you be in a committed relationship I believe that will be shown to you at the appropriate time.  Then the things you have found lacking in these other people will stand out in stark contrast to this right person.  You also seem to have realized that there is much to love about this life outside of a male female relationship.  I have made it my life goal "To Live Well"  however that may be. 
 
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