Topic : Tired of Being Single

     Well I'm a male over-50 myself and have always considered women to have the upper hand in this.  All they need to do is to hold still and show some interest in a man and they are already moving.  Seems easy.  Like flowers women need to look and smell nice.  Men are required to be as busy as bees.
     A man must approach the woman, say the magic words, perform the rites correctly--it's a nerve-racking  job after having learned to live without for so long. A 20 year old can afford to make mistakes but not an over-50.  Us over-50 guys are careful people.
    However the worst thing I could do, and you too for that matter, is let a father guide you.  People in our age group become presidents, we climb mountains and build empires.  If your father hasn't done enough to bring you up out of this then he is probably doing just the opposite--holding you down.
    I used to think that if I didn't land in bed with a woman the first night--like in the movies--then I had failed. A teenage James Bond fantasy.  The thing, I believe, is not to give up. Meeting all the interesting people in the world should be fun.  Slam-dunk, movie style relationships aren't realistic.
    Just keep on with it.  Over-50 guys are careful. Don't let our hesitancy put you out of circulation.

hello! 

 yes, your name is alittle deceiving but there is nothing wrong with that now is their. i live in east of dallas about 50 miles in a small town called gun barrel city. i am born and raised here and i really rather live up north because of the cold weather but somethings just keep me here. well hey if you would like to email me at my address then please do so. it is my user name here plus wmconnnect.com. hope to hear from you 

I'm glad if you found my imput helpful in any way. I just think it's so great to hear about a guy who's really stepping up to his responsiblities and doing the best with what he's got. I know that any woman worth your time will be impressed with the way you handle your situation. I know I am. 

  

And sure, I'm interested in chatting wih you.  

  

Vanessa  

I see it this way: You're either a cheater or you're not. And alot of men are cheaters. Even if they love you. Even if they can't do better than you. It's not you, it has nothing to do with you.  

  

I notice that you're seeing a pattern so I wonder if these men treat you with respect in general. I mean one thing about a cheater is they may care about you or even love you but the definately don't respect you. You know what I'm saying? 

  

The problem is not you, or anything you do or don't do or cute you are or anything like that. The problem is you picked a couple of dirtbag liars as patners. So chalk it up to experience a find a guy who isn't a creep. 

  

I just think it's so crappy when women blame themselves for being cheated on. I've never had a boyfriend cheat on me, but that's just the luck of the draw. I have gotten involved with a guy, fallen in love and then had him tell me he's had a girlfriend all along. That hurts! But it was obvious that this slimeball didn't give a crap about his girlfriend or me. He was actually surprised when I told him never to call me again. And you know what? His girlfriend is a very attractive lady. He's just a complete jerk, just like your ex's. 

  

Just find someone better. :) You know, lots of women cheat too, and alot of men are searching for a fathful partner like yourself. 

  

Vanessa 

I keep reading about people not being able to make it work, being cheated on, being dumped...But I bet every single one of you has at least one person in your life who wants to be in a relationship with you. 

  

I guess I'm single and alone just because I don't want any of the guys I've gon out with recently. I mean, I get asked out all the time. There are like six guys calling me on a regular basis, and here I am, alone. Sleeping alone, staying up WAY too late and reading about how much it sucks to be alone. Pathetic, huh? 

  

I read comments from people saying things like "I'm by no means a super-model" or regretting having given their "all" to a relationship because maybe it had something to do with being cheated on. They wonder "what's wrong with me????". And what did I do wrong??? 

  

Well, I have to give a newsflash. I know everyone is going to hate me for what I'm about to say, but I'm just trying to illustrate my point. 

  

All those problems like not feeling loved, not feeling secure, being with men who are only interested in sex, cheaters, liars, people who are just not that into you, etc., etc., etc.,  

Yeah, we all know those. Well, they have to do with the one being the creep and not the one getting their feelings hurt. Here is how I know this. 

  

I am 25 years old. 

I basically am a "supermodel". I mean, my mom was a bikini model and although I've chosen to work on what's inside and get a real career, I do have my mom's supermodel looks. 

All that means is I get hit on all the time. Men who do't even know me will saying anything to try to hook up with me. I get hit on by people who have nothing in common with me and aren't even interested in anything I do or have to say but the lie in hopes of getting a chance to sleep with me. 

I get hit on at work constantly, other people are always talking about me behind my back. I can't go out to a club without a date because I get mobbed by a bunch of drunk guys. There are many people in the world who will assume that a sexy girl is also dumb. People who have never even met me will talk to me like a child. 

  

All I'm saying is, being young and being gorgeous is not going to make your love life any better or any less painful. All it means is you have more creeps to sift through, and more guys have more motivation to lie to try to get in your pants. 

  

I recently had my heart broken. I fell completely in love with this guy who ended up confessing to me that he had a girlfriend, and that he is sorry and he knew it was wrong to lie o me but he "just couldn't NOT be with a woman like me if he had the chance". Of course I dumped him. But what really hurt was he took me all over town, he introduced me to EVERYONE, he made a huge deal of being all romantic and affectionate and holding me and protecting me from other guys and everything. Now if this wasn't just about how I look and how much he wanted to sleep with me, then he wouldn't have showed me off and made so much effort. The part that really hurts is that I thought he was doing that because he really liked me and wanted a relationship with me. But no, he liked that he had this gorgeous girlfriend on the side.  

  

If it's true love you're looking for, looks have NOTHING to do with it. It just gives people something to use you for. And it gets you alot more than your fair share of stalkers. 

  

P.S. I know I mentioned that I get hit on at work all the time and that people gossip about me. So you might wonder what I wear to work. Here it is: Dark navy blue button down with badge and Paramedic county patches, company issue trousers and combat boots. It's not like I flirt or have a sexy job or wear sexy clothes. That's all I'm saying.  

  

I know how bitter I sound. But I want to find true love. How do you know if a guy really even sees you or cares about you or respects you if tons of guys are acting like they do just to see if they can get you into bed? 

  

Thanks for bearing with me. I probably sound like a complete brat. I guess I'm just so tired of being alone, and yet never being left alone. 

  

ANyone have an opinion on his? SImilar experience? 

Hi there. It seems to get harder every week that goes by to find a man...lol. But yes, good luck to you as well. So where do you go to meet women, and what do you do to get their attention,or start a convo up? Maybe that'll help me here in Cali. From what I hear many men go to the gym,etc... so I guess I could go there?

Hello, 

You stated that you have "always considered women to have the upper hand";  after a certain age (such as 50) I don't find that to be true at all.  Most men in my age group, seem to be attracted to younger women; in their 30's and early 40's.  And since women in the "younger" age group, are sometimes looking for men in their 50's, women like me have an even more difficult time finding a "special man". 

  

I'm 53, and even though everyone says I certainly "don't look my age"; facts are facts.....I'm still 53.  But, I'm hopeful that a man near my age, is looking for someone "my age"..... 

hello ! how are you? well i would like to thankyou for your help and as far as where i go to meet women is just about anywhere. like at the store or blockbuster you name it but i will not go out with someone from a bar. i really dont like to go to bars so i stay away from them. i will go out once in awhile with my brother but i will not date someone from there. i really dont go to gyms so i wouldnt know if that would be a good place or not. i hope this helps you out from texas...

hello vanessa! 

 my name is tony and you can contact me at tm81571@wmconnect.com ok i hope to hear from you soon. 

I understand your point completly. Its not like I look anything like a supermodel, but I know what you are talking about. Pretty women don't nessisarily get better guys, they just get the interests of lots of guys. Its up to them to sift through all those guys and find the one that really loves them for who they are. I heard this quote in a movie based on someones real life once, she said her mother said "It takes a smart woman to fall in love with a good man". That is so true.