Topic : Tired of Being Single

I am with you.  I have tried line dancing, golfing, tennis, church, the beach,  I go, go, go.  I am tired of looking.  I am tired of being alone.  I am just plain tired of all my friends that are couples being cutsy and doing couples things.  The singles on line in this area all  not what I am looking for.  I am trying to be patient.  There is a good book out by Iyanla Vanznat - "In the Meantime."  I am in the meantime and I hate it.  I have lots of opportunities, I am giving everyone the benefit of the doubt.  I date a lot - one time dates only.  I have prayed about my life and I am trusting God for the future, but I am very alone in a world full of people who have partners.  I am to the point that I think my future is to be alone and that is that.  And I just need to accept it. 

Hi -   

   

You know, your dilemma of,  "What is the girl actually saying?" reminds me sadly SO MUCH about how we men and women just are very bad about coming out and saying exactly what we want or need.  I also have a problem interpreting "mixed signals."  I also have to admit that although I want men to be honest with me, times I've been asked out on a date by someone I'm not interested in (someone, no kidding, who's ALWAYS 20 years older than I am!) I cannot manage to come out and say, "I'm just not interested."  I usually say, "I'm really busy right now."  

   

I think a lot about when men say, "Women say they want 'nice' guys, and I'm nice, so what's the deal?"  Have you noticed, though?  EVERYONE - me, you - thinks they're nice!  I mean, who do you know who thinks they're not nice! :)    

I think when women say, "You're a nice guy, BUT," they ARE saying they aren't interested; and I think it translates directly to, "I really don't think you're a creep or anything, BUT I'm either... not attracted to you/ or you remind me of my weird uncle or your breath stinks..."  

   

But to address College Guy directly (I'm also in college, albeit I'm 29!) --  

Sometimes being direct... and by "direct" I don't mean blunt or rude or putting-someone-on-the-spot  - can be really good.  You mentioned how when you told those women you had feelings for them they indicated they weren't interested :(  Well, what if when they said those cryptic things you could just say, "What do you mean?"  At least then you could cut out the "middle man" of trying to interpret what they say... Geez.  It's the worst thing in the world to be turned down, I swear.  Good luck...  

   

Kate  

  

I'm 41 with a beautiful 19 yr old daughter who will soon be leaving the nest. I'm not sad about that because thats what I've been preping her 4. :-), a future. 

  

With this time approaching I'm realizing maybe I have issues if I'm not spazing out and worrying about being alone. I think I don't trust my judgement. in my past I've learned twords the end of the relationship that I dated a ladies man, by sexual guy and a crack addict, which I left each relationship. Have not dated since 1998.  

  

I believe in love and admire people in love, just wonder if its 4 me. 

  

Don't feel lonely, empty or sad. Am I from another planet, normal or just playing it safe u guys? 

  

  

Spell ck not working, please look over any type o's hahaha 

  

Have a safe Memorial Day, 

Carla 

  

  

Being single for just over a year now has given me time to "find" myself. That's not a bad thing, by any means...its given me time to think and figure out what exactly it is that i want in life. But I feel now, that I have done that and it's time for me to get back into a relationship at this point. Only problem is....I think I've thought about it too long. Now, everyone that I meet just hasn't been "exactly" what I want. I do realize that I'll probably never find a a person on this earth with all the things on the list I've made for myself of what that person should be, but it's still hard to accept that when I'm put in a meeting people situation.  Am I doomed for a life of singlness??? Have I set my expectations too high? Maybe I just haven't found that person yet..and he is REALLY out here somewhere. It's starting to get a bit frustrating. I haven't lost hope yet though...but I fear that the hope I do have left..is beginning to wear a bit thin. I'm not expecting Prince Charming to ride on his white horse and rescue me...but I do hope that that person I've thought about (wherever he is) crosses my path someday.

Since I'm having such a hard time knowing where to look for single men I thought maybe I would ask for  help.  So does anyone have any suggestions on where the best places are to meet "single" men?  

 

red1974 

Don't give up... there is hope, if you have read Dr. Phils book love smart you would know that 80% rule on your list will make it alot easier.. do the homework and when you look for a date you will be able to figure out if he will be worth your time to know him better. 

my biggest draw back is meeting women , the first big step.You seem like a sweet lady and when you are ready you will be in the relationship you want. 

pembinaprime@hotmail.com if you would like to chat sometime 

wishing you all the best in your search,  

Al 

I know im not much help, i once used to wonder the same thing. I had to go all the way to England to meet my special man. I have to tell you also that it was worth every bit. Him and I met on a website and it has been pure heaven ever since. So unless you choose to try online dating im afraid I cant be of much help with the ideas. Good luck and take care.

I understand what you are going through also.  I've been single for a long time and I still don't know where to go.  I don't drink and really don't like to go to bars.  It's hard to go somewhere by myself and meet people.  I work in a very large place and still don't meet anyone.  The men that are interested are married.  Don't want to go there.  Been there, done that and was crushed when I found out.  Guess I'm scared to try again.  Let me know when you find out.    

   

   

Hi guys. I'm new here. I am looking for my forever man. I was married for 31 years, divorced him almost 4 years ago. I dated 2 men since. The first one was still in love with his x.  My last one (that I really thought he would be forever) ended our relationship to go back to Holland (his homeland) to get old and die. (this happened March 4th and I still cry!) I realize now that I am smothering with my love. I have a lot to learn about dating. Any suggestions will help. 

Thanks. 

Ok I know South Carolina is off the charts for some but I need someone to hang with talk to and someone just to be there sometime.  Anybody got any ideas? 

Dianne in SC