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Topic : Tired of Being Single

Number of Replies: 3875
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:12:41 pm
Author : dataimport

Have you had enough of the single life? What are you doing to find happiness? Share your story. For your safety and privacy, please do not post personal information such as phone numbers, addresses, social security numbers or any other private information. Please use common sense when using this message board and never give out your personal information online.

 

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July 28, 2005, 1:33 pm CDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: cat172

bsmith77 wrote: "Rememeber, women on average mature 7 YEARS than their male counterparts."

 

I'm not too convinced by this! The boyfriends I've got on best with in the past have been a year younger than me, and recently a male friend who is only 5 years older than me said that I was "much younger than him"!

 

I have never had a boyfriend my own age, only younger or much older guys seem to be interested in dating me. Something about my youthful apptroach to life seems to put them off, as they're all busy trying to make it in their careers in their mid-thirties, and I just want to enjoy life without being a slave to the wage :-) Not that I'm flaky, I'm responsible enough to have always had a job and payed my own way, it's just not the top priority of my existence to make it big in business..

 

Maybe this is off-putting to guys but I don't really understand why.

 

cat172

 

 

Well, what works for YOU is what makes it great. Perhaps you don't want marriage, kids, or a career just yet...or any time. I noticed I like much older men because not only are they mature....but my bf already has three grown kids and he is not pressuring me to "start a fmaily" as compared to younger men just starting out in life. Some women, however, like younger men because of their carefree approach to life...and some older men DO pressure younger women to become stable...I guess youre right evevry woman and man is different, Im just stating the AVERAGE and what Ive rearched and/or been through....maybe when Im in my thirties I will want a younger man too! Were always evoloving and our priorities change over time...

 

best of luck!

 

B

 
July 30, 2005, 2:08 pm CDT

tired of being single

Quote From: rsthoughts

It is so important to be who you are and love yourself as you are.  That doesn't mean that you can't change things about yourself that YOU want to change.  You should never change things about yourself in order to make someone else happy or to make them desire you.  You should want someone to love you as you are and not something that they want you to be.

Are there things about yourself that you would like to change or improve because it will make you feel better?  I recently joined a gym because I wanted to drop some weight and tone up.  I am doing this to make myself happy and feel better about my appearance.  There is nothing wrong about looking your best and feeling good about yourself.  Get a new hairstyle, get a new outfit or get your nails done.  Do something for you.

You will find that people are attracted to confidence.  If you are feeling good about who you are and are confident about who you are and what you believe in, it will be noticed.  If you have never seen the movie "Runaway Bride" with Julia Roberts, I would suggest it.  She was always trying to mold who she was to each person she was with and realizes that she can't truly love anyone until she knew who she was and could love herself.

Let us know how you are doing.

the statement above is so true but it seems today that men are looking for a fantasy and so people like us never get a chance i'm 38 never been married and have not had a date in 10 years and i think its safe to say i will not find anyone in how the world seems today.

 

 
July 30, 2005, 4:55 pm CDT

Wondering what you mean

Quote From: sissy67

the statement above is so true but it seems today that men are looking for a fantasy and so people like us never get a chance i'm 38 never been married and have not had a date in 10 years and i think its safe to say i will not find anyone in how the world seems today.

 

When you say, "people like us"?  Do you mean in your age group or is there something I missed?

I think a good policy is to never "generalize" all men or all women into a category.  Yes, there are men who are trying to find a fantasy woman that doesn't exist and therefore never are happy in any relationship and are always looking for something "better".  At the same time, there are men out there who are looking for someone to love, care about and spend the rest of their life sharing everything with each other.

I know it's easy to give up and think you won't find anyone.  Having a positive outlook when you've faced disappointment is hard but it really does help.  Don't give up.

 
August 9, 2005, 6:25 am CDT

People like us

Quote From: rsthoughts

When you say, "people like us"?  Do you mean in your age group or is there something I missed?

I think a good policy is to never "generalize" all men or all women into a category.  Yes, there are men who are trying to find a fantasy woman that doesn't exist and therefore never are happy in any relationship and are always looking for something "better".  At the same time, there are men out there who are looking for someone to love, care about and spend the rest of their life sharing everything with each other.

I know it's easy to give up and think you won't find anyone.  Having a positive outlook when you've faced disappointment is hard but it really does help.  Don't give up.

LOL! I think she means anybody who isn't a 25 year old, blonde, busty model! Sometimes guys can be pretty insensitive when they start going on about their fantasies in front of the rest of us who don't quite measure up. To them it's just part of being a guy - that's the kind of woman they are "supposed to" go for, and it's something to talk about with their buddies. These days their buddies are as likely to be female as male, and I think they sometimes forget that. 

  

I also think that as women we should develop our own style, which shows our natural attributes off in their best light, rather than try to compete with a fantasy. In the long run it's better for our self esteem :) 

  

Cat127 

 
August 9, 2005, 2:53 pm CDT

I just need 1 good woman

Quote From: sissy67

the statement above is so true but it seems today that men are looking for a fantasy and so people like us never get a chance i'm 38 never been married and have not had a date in 10 years and i think its safe to say i will not find anyone in how the world seems today.

 

Do you dream of a man who will meet you at the door with a hug, Will treat you
like a queen, who believes everything you need should be at home waiting for you so
no need to hang out with the guy's. Well, look no more No girl is worth your tears,
& when you find the one that is, she wont make you cry. Sometimes I wish I was still a
kid...skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts. I have custody of my two
kids, girl 5 and boy 8 they are my world and I'm looking for my soul mate to join
our world. honesty is most important! I guess I'm the last of the men from the old
school who believes family is the most important thing in life.Most of the time I'm
a very quite person and dont talk a whole lot or to say just to hear myself. I'm very
shy and reserved, I love going out to eat and most other things not into the
whole bar deal have not been in one in 8 years with no plans to go back. If you feel
that my kids might get into the way please don't go any farther with this ad. I'm
just one big old teddy bear who need's the love and respect that I give. I would love
to be able to show the one I love just how much she means to me and would like the
same. I'm a very hard working man. I need someone in my life who is tired of the games
and ready to settle down and work on the future and plan for our new life., I'm 6.3
strawberry blond hairblue eyes and I'm not FAT maybe a few pounds over but I'm a
very big man. I'm an ex football player and a heart to match not looking for someone
for sex I believe that if I cant MAKE LOVE to you my partner, where two souls touch
then I'm not interested. Also I will admit I  have a low sex drive. I will be moving
to Tallapossa GA area soon to build my new house on 50acs so my kids can see the way
life should be not crammed up next door to house after house.
Seeking Honest, true friend to become part of our world as my soul mate to work on
our future and plan onthe many things we will do in retirement as we watch the world
pass by with out a care or worry in the world if you are looking for a man who wont
lie or cheat or play games here I am waiting on you. or you can keep going after the
great looking ones and keep finding the same old thing. when I come in the door she
will rush to hug me as I will do the same for her. Love to buy sexy things from
Fredrick's of Hollywood and victories secret when I can. I like to cook and don't
mind helping around the house doing anything from cleaning to cooking to washing the
clothes. I just want someone who knows there will be up days and down days and will
hold on to the dream till it comes true. someone I can tell anything to and will
tell me what they are thinking. I want to know love beyond physical and mental but
have a love so deep it touches the soul  I admit I prefer 5.8 or less with a slim
build. That's just me.You must be looking for someone to spend the rest of your life
not just a date or two. I believe a lady should be treated like one and her man
should be treated like he is
 
Activities that they enjoy
Biking, Boating/Sailing, Camping, Fishing, Swimming, Walking, Weight lifting
 
Sports that they enjoy watching and/or playing
Auto racing, Baseball, Extreme sports, Figure skating, Football, Olympic sports
 
Forms of entertainment that they enjoy
Board Games, Casino/gambling,   Fine dining, Movies, Music:Country,
TV:Educational/news, TV:Entertainment, Video games
 
Other hobbies or interests of theirs
Antiques, Cars, Computers, Dogs, Family/kids, Gardening, Home improvement,
Motorcycles, Traveling
 
 
 
August 15, 2005, 4:11 pm CDT

One day before iI am 92

I am 30 years old and I have a 5 year old boy who is the love of my life, but thats it I strive for adult conversation I want adult company I cant take being single anymore I have not had areashinship in 3 years I feel because I am 30 and with a 5 year old I am ready to begin my life I am ready to get into a reashinship and then maybe down the road have it leed to marrage. I mean I do hang out with friends and whatnot but its not the same I feel I need the romance I need soft touches and if I did this with my friends I would be one lonly girl. I also feel I am single is cause I amnot askinney girl altho I am not ablimp either but I feel this hinders me from meeting anyone and I know I could change this like maybe people have said to me "just loose weight" but I think "why"?? Why would I want to loose wait to find someone? I want to find someone who accepts me for who I am not cause I lost 80 pounds and even if I did find someone who would like me cause I lost 80 pounds that would be the only reason they looked twice at me.....cause I looked good.....I dont want someone like that I find those type of people very vein and I dont want any part of anyone who would be like that. But then I am tired of being single.....Can we say Catch 22 batman??
 
August 28, 2005, 4:55 am CDT

Single and hate it

  

     I am 35 and I am a single male. I would love to have a special lady and get married, especially soon so that I can start a family. But it is so hard to find the someone special. All the right ladies for me are already married or have boyfriends. It is also hard to know where to find someone. I mean, I don't go to bars, the only parties I go to are family reunions. I tried a dating service and I had  really bad experience so I would not go that route again. If I don't find a special lady soon, I will be too old raise a family. It is just so frustrating not knowing where to meet nice single ladies. I am sick of being alone and I would love a lady to love and get married soon so we can share both the good and bad times together (and before it is too late to start a family). 

 
August 30, 2005, 2:59 pm CDT

Hi Hercules

Quote From: hercules12

  

     I am 35 and I am a single male. I would love to have a special lady and get married, especially soon so that I can start a family. But it is so hard to find the someone special. All the right ladies for me are already married or have boyfriends. It is also hard to know where to find someone. I mean, I don't go to bars, the only parties I go to are family reunions. I tried a dating service and I had  really bad experience so I would not go that route again. If I don't find a special lady soon, I will be too old raise a family. It is just so frustrating not knowing where to meet nice single ladies. I am sick of being alone and I would love a lady to love and get married soon so we can share both the good and bad times together (and before it is too late to start a family). 

It can be a tough dating world out there.  I was in the same situation - all my friends were married, no single friends my age, work for a small company and not into the bars.  There really didn't seem to be a lot of options out there for me. 

 

So, I tried online dating through Yahoo.  Yes, I did go out on about 5 or 6 dates before I met the man I have been dating for the last 5 months (5 months today actually). We talked on IM on a Monday, on the phone on Tuesday, had our first date on Wednesday and have been together since.  I liked Yahoo because you could "hide" your profile and just look.  This way you weren't getting messages from people you knew you had no interest in.  It really put me more in control. 

 

No matter how you meet someone - it's rare that the person you meet first is going to be "the one".  It's going to take trial and error and realizing that dating is exactly that - dating.  It's getting to know people and finding out if you are compatible and if you want to pursue it further. 

 

Don't give up.  Good luck! 

 
September 2, 2005, 10:41 am CDT

Don't compromise.

I was a single man for 44 years.  I thought I would never find the perfect woman ... but I did ... I am so thankful that I did not let the many years of waiting and yearning cause me to compromise and 'settle'.  

   

I had many opportunities with various women, but I thought that special woman was not to be found.  Most of the women I dated claimed that they wanted a decent moral man, but within a few months were asking for sex!  Ironically, these were women who attended church.  I was shocked when they would show up with a box of condoms.    

   

God really used my waiting as a growth period, and allowed my wife and I to share what was meant to be a bonding between husband and wife.  Sex is a great gift to marriage.  It is not recreation, and does not require 'protection' unless abused.  

   

It is no wonder so many marriages fail.  People cheapen themselves for a thrill, and rob their future spouse of the greatest gift they can give them.      

   

As great as sex is, it is not the most intimate part of marriage.  Prayer is.  What an awesome way to share your heart with your spouse.    

   

Although much of the advice on this show is excellent, it is too bad it is so lacking a moral center.   Wordly advice is not wisdom.   

  

  

   

  

   

   

   

   

 
September 5, 2005, 4:13 pm CDT

Who says you're not good enough???

Quote From: slayereve

Maybe, but I feel like guys will never like me, because I'm not good enough...and I don't know what to do or how to change, so that I can be who they want in a girlfriend.
As long as you THINK you're not good enough, men will pick up on that and stay away from you. You need to literally CHANGE YOUR MIND. There is a book by that title, written by Angela Treat Lyon. It's all about EFT -  Emotional Freedom Technique - it's about changing your thought processes by tapping into your subconscious mind and releasing all the negative messages. Check out her website at www.EFTbooks.com - she has weekly teleclasses and I've been listening in for a few months and have her book - very cool! I think you'll find it helpful and quite amazing!
 
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