Quote From: beecharm3r7First off, I've started getting that typical parental remark. WHy haven't you found someone yet?
My dad asked me this actually. I wanted to hit him. He has no idea how difficult it is out there. (fyi - my parents were 23 and 21 when they got married).
I'm 24 and my sister (25), and my brother (26) have both been in long term relationships. My sister and her man have been together for 5 years and is living with her boyfriend, talking of engagement. My brother and his girlfriend have been living together for 4 years, together for 6 and just got engaged.
I should start off by saying I'm not much of a dater. I get anxious and I'm a little bigger than the so-called average. I'm fine with that but most guys are turned off by it. I'm also what you'd call 'old fashioned'. I'm not saving myself for marriage but I do want to be in a long term committment before i have sex. It's another problem. When i go to the club scene men are always grabbing at me and I find it repulsive. I'm fine with knowing a guy then making out or whatever but not complete strangers. I have friends who let the men feel them up and one who even has sex with men she's known for a day or two. They have no problem getting dates (even friends who are much bigger than me).
I can never tell if men like them because they have sex or if it's just their personalities they're into.
I know people go into habits and tend to like a lot of the same types of people. I'll admit, I tend to do this but I always like nice men. I don't know what it is but every time I start liking a man I found out he has a girlfriend. I know Dr.Phil would say this is me being 'safe' and protecting myself but how do you get out of this? I can spot the bad boys a mile away. My friends used to say i had a gift for it, but if i'm so intuitive how come I always fall for the ones I can't have? Nowadays i just settle for any guy and see what happens.
Also, for some unknown reason, I attract for lack of a better word...weirdos. Yes that's right ladies and gentlemen, i attract the oddest men.
From old sleazy 70 year olds to fantasy-driven-army wannabes, to men who appear normal until they start talking about getting married (all before i even find out what his name is).
Is there a reason for this? I would really really like not to have to worry every time a man asks me out. I mean, I try to keep an open mind but there's some things i just don't like...and even my friends say I'm not too picky.
Anyone want to psychoanalyze?
have come to the wrong place to be psychoanalized. Support and advice, sure. you should keep in mind that the board is full of people that are going through, or have gone through similar experiences. So we are all just as clueless as you are!!! I would think that I am an appealing guy, and the right girl would be lucky to have a guy like me in her life. But it never seems to work out, I hardly get a date. I have no problem striking up conversations with girls, but I guess I just don't follow through ot at least quick enough. I like to take my time, and most girls loss interest with that. I guess because to them it seems like I must not like them as much as the other guys that are all over them. I don't think its that you so much attract weirdos, it's just that the weirdos might pick up on your loneliness and mark you as an easy target. Or maybe its just that you don't try to send signals to anyone you're interested in, and the weirdos don't care if your interested or not, they're gonna give it a try anyway. I know one of the biggest problems I face is that I can be obsessive. I control it the best I can, but when I get involved with someone, I dwell on things ways to much. She stays on my mind alot, and I'm constantly assessing the situation. People tell me, I'm too analytical, and that I should just let things take their course. I don't know if that will help much, but at least its something.
