Topic : Tired of Being Single

Still here-just overwhelmed.  Taking a hiatus-really don't know what to do

I was starting to worry about you there!

Thank you.  I am just stepping back and  trying to figure all this out.  It is very overwhelming.  Right now I am just distracting myself when it gets to be too much.  My family has stepped in to help so that is a blessing-now I can concentrate on getting myself together.  Will  keep you guys posted-thanks for the encouragement!

You will be fine!  Keep your head up and do the best you can-That is all you can do!  Good to have family helping you-Some people do not even have that-Hope it all works out!-

Hi Kwinds...hey kwinds, could you change your emote next to your name, to Happy??  I mean, every since I came to the boards (in may) you had yours under depressed?  I know it's hard, when you don't feel that way, but perhaps it's a start...I know sometimes, when I feel down, I need to change it too sad or something...and I did once, because that day I was...and when I came to the boards, I was depressed, which brings some of us to these boards in the first place...but, I can say that only lasted 1-2 wks...now, everyday I can sincerely say "happy"....so, could you change it...sometimes, even though we feel down, one way you can bring yourself out of a depression, is by being positive (even if you don't feel it)...when, I changed it to happy, maybe I Iwasn't exactly 'happy' at that point, but it was my first step to healing myself...then, I made sure I fixed myself up and looked the best I could...then, I went out and did at least 1 thing that was 'good'...so on and so on...I know how life can get you down, and sometimes we just can't get up...but, we need to...start writing down the changes you need to make and want to make...write down what you feel would make you happier...After all the posts I've read from you, I can see you are overwhelmed...can I ask do you need to go to school???  Can you take a break for awhile..?  Because, I wouldn't want to tell you what's best...but, from everything you said, you need a break BIG TIME!!!  So, instead of talking about it, DO IT...ok?  Even if it's to take a 'real' vacation by yourself!!!  I promise you will not regret it, and you will discover so many things about yourself and it gives you hope again...You need to sit down and talk to your daughter...She needs you to push her and show her the way to independance...My daughter is 17 1/2, and she started driving at 15 1/2...giving her independence...then, she got a job...and I'm preparing her to go out to college, so she will be prepared next yr...both my kids left at 18...(will be)...but, it takes TEACHING THEM and not babying them...I don't mean to say you do...just trying to help...I started taking these little weekend trips in the beginning...to get her and I use to the idea, that we need to have our own independence...then, I went on my 2 wk. Don't give in to her!!!  It's  not only good for you, but FOR HER!!!   trust me...it's never too late!!  GO ON THAT VACATION!!!  NO EXCUSES OK??  I don't think anyone can be happy with going to work f/t, school f/t, and having a daughter that doesn't allow you your own space...she's an adult now...you have to live your life!!  and you have to  not back down!!  try to work on these things...but, I believe the first thing you need is to go on a much needed vacation...go to Alaska...don't worry about MONEY...I know it's easier said then done...but, just this once...DON'T WORRY about anything else but YOU!!   and as far as finding a man to share your life with...your happiness shouldn't rely on a 'man'...happiness comes from making YOU happy with YOU...FIRST!!  then, the rest will follow...because, guys will be attracted to your positiveness and happy disposition...so, you have to work on yourself FIRST...you say you've given up, well I think one should NEVER give up on finding that...even if you live to 100!!!  it can and has came true to many people...that's because they didn't give up!!!  and had a positive outlook...and as far as

giving yourself to a man, because at least you'll have that much...well, I would say that would be compromising the person you are inside and doing that wouldn't make you happy!!  only worse!!!  waiitng for the one, that you want to share that with, will be even more special because you didn't compromise...I hope this has helped....dee

I do have a hard time with that one-I can be fine for a while, and totally go down the toilet for weeks at a time before I recover.  This last spell was rough, but I am coming out of it now.  As soon as I'm done composing this, I will change my emote-I think the worst is over, and I am recovering.

In other news, I had a tragedy at my house this evening.  I had a cat here from california that was 7 years old, and tonight he died of liver failure.  He had had a few "episodes" before over the last year, but for the past week he had gone downhill fast.  I came home tonight and he was practically unresponsive and horribly yellow.  So I drove like a madwoman through town and got to the vets office-there was nothing that could be done.  I had planned to take him in earlier this week, cause I could just tell his time was done, but due to my stupid ass job and work and the offices wanting to screw me for an after hours fee, I waited til tonight-I should have not done that, but I did what I could.  My ohter california cat is grieving heavily, and I am concerned-they were buds.  In spite of all this heartache, I am ok.

I was out with my one friend tonight-I didn't know he had such a potential to be so soft hearted and nice.  It really took me by surprise, and helped the hurt a little.  Maybe I should give him a chance?  Besides the obnoxious behavior, when I looked in those eyes and saw what was there, it was very comforting.  I feel a lot better tonight-just getting away and being with friends has helped tremendously.  Tomorrow is my friends wedding, and since a bunch of people will probably come from the hospital, it should be a blast.  I am somewhat happy tonight, even though I miss my kitty.  He is buried at the new house under a small tree next to my bedroom window so he will be close.  Ok, I am changing the emote now....

I count my blessings every day on that one-I would not be here today if they had not been helping me the past year...

 Wow, looks like everyone has been busy on here. I think I really needed to go home for a short break after a year and the deployement. It was the best trip ever, and I dont have a girlfriend or even a close female friend for that matter. I did run into some high svholl budies I played ball with , but thats a different story they are all married with kids now. We joked and laughed about the old days. My parents and I went deep sea fishing , despite the rain it was so cool. I have a hooby that I have missed and got back in touche with also. Nitro r/c trucks . I had one delivered home while I was on deployement it was the highlight of my trip. I broke it out everyday. I did meet a girl, her name was Destiny, but not mine. Oh no but it was amazing the most exhilerating time I have ever had with a good looking girl. To bad she never called me back after breakfast the next morning well more like a briunch. But I ma not complaining and niether has she. Thats what it is about these days care free worry free no heartaches no pain, just pleasure. I see why they do it now. All I remember is a night of pure passion, seduction and pleasure. Never have I experinced anything so close to that. And it wasnt just the regular ok Im done. Anyways , I think I understand why this happens now. It makes me feel good, yes I would feel even better if we were still seeing eachother . But, lets be realistic she is in college and I am in the military and its long distance 97% of the year. All I keep seeing is her smile in the moment instead of her leaving or with another guy, or even worse. Thank you Destiny where ever you are. Thanks for being a good sweet girl that knows so nuch about life . After all we cant all have our cake and eat it too. I wonder what would of happened if she would of returned my call. She said she was sorry and then told me I would not be forgotten. Just that I would be un seen.

  So with that said I dont think it such a bad thing not to have or be in a serious relationship. Yes I still want to meet the one and settle down and have kids . But, I think what I experinced with her is , how you say, easy. And not near as painfull, or complicated.

A lot of people might disagree, but I think going about it that way is much better as long as both people are ok with it and you're careful.  What a lot of people seem to forget is in the genus pool, we are still animals, and when it gets down to it, we do the same things regular animals do.  It took me a long time to realize that, but sometimes all these rules and standards seem a little funny when we rank with the rest of the 4 leggeds.

 

I went to a wedding last night-we had a ball.  They did the usual dances and stuff-well, it came time to do the bouquet and under much durress, I went up there.  I did my best to stand behind someone taller (I am 5'2") and I hid.  Well, I left my hands down and tried to stay invisible.  My friend threw it, the damn thing hit me square in the head, and fell in my arms.  I am never gonna live that down!!  Made me stop and think a bit, but I won't spend much time hoping for that.  Of everyone there, why me?????