Topic : Tired of Being Single

"Hello.  I just read this post, and found it confusing...perhaps, I need to backtrack and read your others..."Soulmateinterviews guy"??" Everything else has failed... this has driven me to outrageous lengths. Courage has nothing to do with it, despite comments some people have made about my supposed bravery. "I always thought it's best when meeting naturally...I mean, my dates have always come from work...(big company with lots of floors, and ppl) lol...." There's always the possibility of getting reprimanded for sexual harassment, too... especially for us men. Think about that. It wouldn't be very smart of me to try to get involved with any of the women at my day job for this reason. "I take it, you don't like being single??  I know this post is "tired of being single", I came here because I met some nice ppl here...But, I'm not exactly tired of being single..." Begging your pardon, ma'am... but isn't that why this board was created? Judging from the tone some of the other posters to this board have used (not you, though), they don't sound to me like they're tired of being single, certainly not I'm-mad-as-hell-and-I'm-not-gonna-take-it-anymore tired of being single. But then hey, maybe that's just me... I tend to hide my feelings a lot less than most men do. "Can I ask a question?  Why is it in this post you sound angry?" The only ones I'd really be "angry" about are some of the other posters who might want me to just give up and become what I used to be, a lonely sad sack who sat around feeling sorry for himself with no thought to the possibility of finding the right woman to build a wonderful life with. Who knows, maybe by cutting people like you & I down, they make themselves feel big. "I think you should get out there, since that's what you want to do, and do it however way you want....and I agree, sitting around and feeling sorry for one's self, is not the answer...I always feel, if you're happy inside...happy with your life, your job/career, family/friends, and you have your interests/hobbies, then I think that's pretty darn good...." Bingo! The only wee bitty problem now is, finding someone who'll appreciate sharing those things with me. Fun's fun, but alone it's just plain boring. Sometimes, too I think SOME ppl look on the outside of a person...if they're attractive...sure, that is what one sees first, but and I could be wrong ok...seems, I sure hear enough from 'men' that their comments are.."wow I met a woman, and she sure was cute"  OR  "wow I met this woman and boy is she ever sexy"...OR "I just met this attractive woman"....why is that????  guys out there have a answer??? Most of my brethren are hardwired for instant gratification... this is why we enjoy the sight of a pretty woman. Of course, a woman who's pretty to me, isn't necessarily pretty to the next guy. Personally, Dee, if that's your pic in the avatar, I don't see anything unattractive whatsoever in your looks. "I don't say that when I met a man, I say...."hey, I just met this man and he sure is sweet/nice, a gentleman, and we have fun together/and can talk for hours"....But, and this is just MY observation, I hear from the MEN, "the looks part".....it kinda gives us women the impression, that if we aren't sexy, attractive, cute (and have a nice body) well then they won't look our way????" For the record... one thing that can turn me on much more than looks, is to have the privilege of speaking to a woman who's an intelligent, engaging conversationalist. I met one such woman once, and though she was far from ugly and I never would have dated her (she was already seeing someone anyway), she turned out to be the most cerebral woman I ever met... and THAT was a HUGE turn-on!!! "Just wondering...and keep in mind this is just MY observation...Perhaps, IF all the ppl out there, whom find it difficult to find the 'one' then perhaps they aren't looking in the right places...OR looking for surperfical aspect of a person, instead of what's inside...Well I think I said enough..lol" LOL! The only way those "right places" are going to ever come about, is if our society establishes "singles' libraries" which would be free to use, and to which only singles would be admitted. But who am I kidding... even if some rich investors made these "singles' libraries" a reality, I'd betcha any money most of us would purposely avoid these buildings, with spiteful grins on our faces.

Well I read your post titanium...I know this board is "tired of being single", and I agree perhaps some ppl here, aren't exactly tired of it...but, as I mentioned, I myself have met some real good ppl on here...When I first came, in May, I just broke up with someone...and I somehow ended here...As far as the "dating ppl from work", and sexual harassment...well that was awhile back, when I did...I didn't have any problem with that...I think I'm just a bit naive too, but I don't understand why that would happen...I mean, when you see someone, and you work with them everyday...even, when they pop up once in awhile because they work on different floors...well, eventually you connect and they ask you out...I don't understand how any of that, has to do with sexual harassment..but, then again keep in mind I just don't know much about that happening...it never happen to me...only once, this guy slap me on the 'bottom"....and went on a double date, and he was with his wife, and he kept flirting with me..But, honestly titanium I think I see what you're saying ok?  I for one, wouldn't attack you...trying to understand where you're coming from maybe, but that's what is great about these boards...is to hear ppl's different idea, views, and experiences...I mentioned once you concentrate on yourself, your job/career, your hobbies/interests, then there's family/friends...you said Bingo....why is that again?  Sorry, if I can't always retain things or keep up....do you mean 'bingo' in that that's the trick...?  sure, one can be lonely...but, I always believe that god will put that special 'someone' there in your life, when it's your time..I know that sounds corny...but, it's what I believe...and I'm not into religion or anything...You don't ever meet someone from your job, that you would be interested in?  Have you ever tried to get to know ppl first...I mean, just like here on the boards...other boards too, whatever...sometimes, you can possibly meet someone in an environment just like this...and get to know one another like this, is good...I think...it's causual, ppl are bringing up different thoughts..and one can get a feeling for a person...the trick of it is, is to find someone that's in your same area...but, who knows sometimes they don't have to be...if it's right, it's right...I can be tricky I admit, but I believe if that's the way it is...then, perhaps that person is met to be with you...no matter where they live...you don't have to intentionally go out looking for someone far away, but could you really or would you really want to stop it???  Well, I think titanium you are just expressing your thoughts, and nothings wrong with that...sorry, you went through a bout of depression...is it harder for guys, because they seem to be the one that has to go out and do the dating...(asking)...where as most of the time, we women just wait to be ask out...not all cases, but most I think...but, today women are getting bolder and asking men out...maybe, it helps men out that way?  Well I guess I blabbed on enough...but, don't worry titanium keep posting...it's interesting and I appreciate it when 'males' post too...to just hear from the opposite sex, is great!!  dee

Oh, dear, this is going to be a nerdy response...basically, I took the name from Fyodor Dostoevsky's hero, Golyadkin in his novel "The Double". The 'a' makes the name feminine.

Sorry, I just saw this post of yours...How r u doing?  The post you talked about, Nov. 8, could you refresh my memory?  Hope you're having a wonderful Holiday...in discussing how we can't help who we fall in love with, well we may not be able to help it...but, we can also know when it's not healthy...I think since I've had 2 serious relationship in my life, I learned a lot...I learned although you may be in love with them, but you need to take a long hard look at what life will be like...down the road...and if this is the type of life you want?  Because, love alone...isn't always enough...This is a very hard and painful lesson to learn...Like in one relationship, this person wanted to live/settle down in the area in which he lived...which was Covina, CA...I worked hard to get out of the area...and he wanted for us to settle there, in his home...A home that has neighbors/family right next door!  and I didn't want that...I'm sort of a private person...I told him, I need to be somewhere where WE can start our lives...and visit these ppl, but NOT live right next door...he didn't understand, and told me "Home is Where the Heart is"....and then went on to say, his home isn't good enough for me...his neighbors/family wasn't good enough for me...Which was completely untrue...I wanted a 'home' that would be OURS....living there, I felt it was his...even though he made it where it was ours, but being there didn't feel like it...So, location I found has a lot to do with a relationship....and sometimes, love is not enough...especially, when one isn't willing to compromise...Then, you go away questioning Love.........I guess, I believe in "Love" and that no matter where one lives, it can work...if that LOVE is strong enough....but, BOTH have to make that commitment to it....One has to listen to the other's pain, and not just see it through THEIR eyes, but the person they say they love....because, when they make excuses time after time...well, that's not Love to me.......   just some thoughts....Dee

I can see where the person is coming from as far as being single for as long as she has been.

Being married a few times and unfortunately burrying a couple of husbands due to illnesses, I'm not giving up.  I just wish that the "players" out there would shut the he** up and leave me alone.

Especially the young ones or the married ones who are always asking about my "sex" preferance or trying to get me to view their webcams so that I can watch them jack off.  How stupid is that?  .  I'm 59 and have no time for their nonesense.  The iggy button works well for me.

As far as the match dot com and other groups to find a mate/partner-in-life/companion, those are nothing more than a waste of time.  You young ones, keep your mouths silent and thoughts

to yourself.   You haven't gotten this far yet.  There is nothing you could say that would teach a lot of us oldtimers.

 

If a man really knew what he wanted, he wouldn't be wasting women's lives with their game playing.

 

Finally last but not least, the Dr. Phil show is ok.  Problem he has is that his show is directed to

the younger people.  He has never had the elder generation on his programs.  Not even one time.   Isn't that a bit discriminatory?

 

Common to the ranch, Dr. Phil.  I'll show you and Robin what real country living is all about.

Bring your camera crew too.  Wear boots and jeans.  None of that fancy stuff you wear on the air.

lol....

 

Sincerely,

Okla

 

Well, from my male POV---and I emphasize that I'm NOT on the same page with most men on this issue---that rule that the man has to do all the pursuing has outlived its usefulness, unless you live in some sexist country where machismo is every man's right. Playing hard to get (and all those other silly headgames) might have worked 20 years ago, but nowadays the single who tries to play hard-to-get usually ends up not gotten, or a headgame doesn't work the way they intended, so guess what? They turn around and tell everyone how disappointed they are, and a little bit more trust is ruined. That's why I think we singles need to play it straight instead of playing games... because the truth has a way of coming out on its own, given enough time. It's surprising how many singles don't realize this when they lie about themselves in some dating service profile. Sure, truth hurts... but it only hurts people who try to be phony.

Re the looks thing... for the record, a woman who is my ideal of feminine beauty would never be allowed in a pageant, much less win a prize in one. My tastes in beauty are too contrary to what "fashion dictators" want us to adore. So, please don't put yourself down.

I too had a very very bad long distance relationship experience too-Don't ever want to go thru THAT again-

But long distance relationships CAN work-All depends onBOTH ppl involved

Hey things can work out. the thing is it cannot be a one sided effort. I mean that one person cannot make all the rules ,and assume that the other will go with them. we know that rule of assuming right? It takes two to make it work, and that is just the way it is. The two have to give, and take with whats in there lives, and not expect the other to make the sacrifice alone. I had a long distance relationship once well still do to some degree. I think it would have worked out if there was a person who minded her business, but to tell this person that is like talking to a wall whitch would have been a better conversationalist. Anyway just my thoughts. God Bless. randy from Gods country.

Hey to me looks are what start the relationship. Then we start looking into the person atleast that is the way I feel it is. There has to be am attraction at first, and it's not going to be the way she changes her tire. Sorry for that, but it is true. I admire a women who can change her tire, but I admire her mind to. the way she talks or the way she carries herself to. The looks can be decieving though. The attitude she has towards life or just sometimes being mean to others who have not done anything to hurt her. My first wife was like that. mean as hell, and she felt it was ok. Made me go for the divorce, and it made me grow up. Anyway the thing is we (men) looks at a women first as looks, but then it is for whom she is. for me anyways.   Randy