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Topic : Tired of Being Single

Number of Replies: 3875
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:12:41 pm
Author : dataimport

Have you had enough of the single life? What are you doing to find happiness? Share your story. For your safety and privacy, please do not post personal information such as phone numbers, addresses, social security numbers or any other private information. Please use common sense when using this message board and never give out your personal information online.

 

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September 13, 2005, 8:10 pm CDT

need advice, this is very long, sorry

I wasn't sure where to post this because there is not a board devoted to relationships in generalso here it goes....I have known this woman for 3 years, and we have always been attracted to each other, but only starting datin about six months ago...we fell in love and even started to make some plans.  I appolgize for this being so long but I needed to get it all out there....  

   

These are just some of the things she has said to me over the last 6 months , Some as recently as Saturday night September 3rd 2005  

   

(1) I love you with all of my heart, along with all the other ways you can tell someone you love them.  

   

(2) I hope you are willing to deal with the occasional problems that will arise with Mike.  

   

(3) I can’t think of anyone that would be a better role model for the children then you.  

   

(4) The first time we have sex I am wearing my Elvis shirt (She is a big Elvis fan I hate him so she jokes about him coming to bed with us)  

   

(5) She asked me if I liked her house, I sad I think it is beautiful then she replies “is it alright with you” of course I say yes.  

   

(6) refers to me as her “boyfriend” or “significant other” on more then one occasion.  

   

(7) her exact words here “remember I have 3 children and an ex-husband, if you chose to stay you also get them”  

   

(8) again her exact words “ I am so happy and content when I am with you, I love every thing about you I am falling in love with you”  

   

(9) “I love being with you I want to spend more and more time with you”  

   

(10) her words “can you commit” I say yes then she replies “good because I want at least fifty years”  

   

(11) her words “Mike is threatened by you, he says you are taking his family away and I told him he made his bed now he has to lay in it” I say to her, I don’t want to take his kids away, however if he chooses not to be a father figure I will gladly take on that role” her reply “I have no doubt that you will win there hearts, Brad already adores you”   

   

(12) her and I were hugging by my truck before she went home (on more then one occasion) and she would say “we should be married so we can do this at home in bed”  

   

(13) her words “we are perfect for each other we fit like pieces of a puzzle my head fits perfect on you shoulder just like 2 pieces of a puzzle”  

   

(14) the song by Lonestar “Amazed” in her words “I think of us when I hear this song”   

In case you don’t know the songs I happen to have some of the lyrics…   

   

(Every time our eyes meet this feeling inside me Is almost more than I can take baby when you touch me I can feel how much you love me And it just blows me away. I've never been this close to anyone or anything I can hear your thoughts I can see your dreams. I don't know how you do what you do I'm so in love with you It just keeps getting better. I want to spend the rest of my life With you by my side Forever and ever Every little thing that you do Baby, I'm amazed by you, you touch every place in my heart. )  

The song goes on but you get the point.  

  

(15) her words during an in internet chat we had“ I am just reminding you I’m a package deal, have 3 kids and a ex-husband “ then I said thick or thin, hell or high water I am here you got me now” then she says “ really! I want at least 50 years…50 years is a very long time, most people don’t stay together for 5 years let alone 50” then I said “ then you and I will break that cycle” she says “ You really think so? I said yes and she said good. Of course it was late (2 am) so she needed to get to sleep, but before we logged off she said , “ good honey sweet dreams and I love you with all of my heart”  

   

(16) “I am so glad I found you I am so fortunate, I love you so much I am so happy to have you in my life” Of course I said the same thing to her.  

   

So a couple of days ago I mustered up the nerve to ask her to marry me, her response was that she all of a sudden felt smothered and she wasnt ready to go to that "level" yet.  She was married for 14 years and has 3 kids, and she is thinking of reconciling her marriage because she was raise to believe that the fisrt person you marry should be for a lifetime no matter what.    

   

Let me tell you what kind of man this is...he cheated on her 5 times over 14 years left her, she took him back every time...he calls his daughter a slut, calls his son a pussy boy..calls her the C word, sends her and the kids on a vacation and while she is gone he drains all the bank accounts, cleans out the house, and files for divorce.  When she returns he serves her papers.  he tells her she MADE him cheat because she wouldnt spread her legs as much as he wanted so its all her fault for what he did. Now all of a sudden I am in the picture he wants to get back with her....hmmmm  

   

I think she is being torn by her feelings for me and what her grandparents raised her to believe that the first person you awith you should be with for the rest of your life no matter what.  WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE HER SEE THE LIGHT?  

   


  

 
September 14, 2005, 2:44 pm CDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: brians38

I wasn't sure where to post this because there is not a board devoted to relationships in generalso here it goes....I have known this woman for 3 years, and we have always been attracted to each other, but only starting datin about six months ago...we fell in love and even started to make some plans.  I appolgize for this being so long but I needed to get it all out there....  

   

These are just some of the things she has said to me over the last 6 months , Some as recently as Saturday night September 3rd 2005  

   

(1) I love you with all of my heart, along with all the other ways you can tell someone you love them.  

   

(2) I hope you are willing to deal with the occasional problems that will arise with Mike.  

   

(3) I can’t think of anyone that would be a better role model for the children then you.  

   

(4) The first time we have sex I am wearing my Elvis shirt (She is a big Elvis fan I hate him so she jokes about him coming to bed with us)  

   

(5) She asked me if I liked her house, I sad I think it is beautiful then she replies “is it alright with you” of course I say yes.  

   

(6) refers to me as her “boyfriend” or “significant other” on more then one occasion.  

   

(7) her exact words here “remember I have 3 children and an ex-husband, if you chose to stay you also get them”  

   

(8) again her exact words “ I am so happy and content when I am with you, I love every thing about you I am falling in love with you”  

   

(9) “I love being with you I want to spend more and more time with you”  

   

(10) her words “can you commit” I say yes then she replies “good because I want at least fifty years”  

   

(11) her words “Mike is threatened by you, he says you are taking his family away and I told him he made his bed now he has to lay in it” I say to her, I don’t want to take his kids away, however if he chooses not to be a father figure I will gladly take on that role” her reply “I have no doubt that you will win there hearts, Brad already adores you”   

   

(12) her and I were hugging by my truck before she went home (on more then one occasion) and she would say “we should be married so we can do this at home in bed”  

   

(13) her words “we are perfect for each other we fit like pieces of a puzzle my head fits perfect on you shoulder just like 2 pieces of a puzzle”  

   

(14) the song by Lonestar “Amazed” in her words “I think of us when I hear this song”   

In case you don’t know the songs I happen to have some of the lyrics…   

   

(Every time our eyes meet this feeling inside me Is almost more than I can take baby when you touch me I can feel how much you love me And it just blows me away. I've never been this close to anyone or anything I can hear your thoughts I can see your dreams. I don't know how you do what you do I'm so in love with you It just keeps getting better. I want to spend the rest of my life With you by my side Forever and ever Every little thing that you do Baby, I'm amazed by you, you touch every place in my heart. )  

The song goes on but you get the point.  

  

(15) her words during an in internet chat we had“ I am just reminding you I’m a package deal, have 3 kids and a ex-husband “ then I said thick or thin, hell or high water I am here you got me now” then she says “ really! I want at least 50 years…50 years is a very long time, most people don’t stay together for 5 years let alone 50” then I said “ then you and I will break that cycle” she says “ You really think so? I said yes and she said good. Of course it was late (2 am) so she needed to get to sleep, but before we logged off she said , “ good honey sweet dreams and I love you with all of my heart”  

   

(16) “I am so glad I found you I am so fortunate, I love you so much I am so happy to have you in my life” Of course I said the same thing to her.  

   

So a couple of days ago I mustered up the nerve to ask her to marry me, her response was that she all of a sudden felt smothered and she wasnt ready to go to that "level" yet.  She was married for 14 years and has 3 kids, and she is thinking of reconciling her marriage because she was raise to believe that the fisrt person you marry should be for a lifetime no matter what.    

   

Let me tell you what kind of man this is...he cheated on her 5 times over 14 years left her, she took him back every time...he calls his daughter a slut, calls his son a pussy boy..calls her the C word, sends her and the kids on a vacation and while she is gone he drains all the bank accounts, cleans out the house, and files for divorce.  When she returns he serves her papers.  he tells her she MADE him cheat because she wouldnt spread her legs as much as he wanted so its all her fault for what he did. Now all of a sudden I am in the picture he wants to get back with her....hmmmm  

   

I think she is being torn by her feelings for me and what her grandparents raised her to believe that the first person you awith you should be with for the rest of your life no matter what.  WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE HER SEE THE LIGHT?  

   


  

o.k. after thinking about ur fairytale for 5 minutes i think that you should tell her that you both need to take some time off so she can figure some things out. that way hopefully she will realise how much a part of her life you're and how much a jerk the ex is. whatever you do, never give up. this is like such a love filled relationship and she's just overwhelmed and most likely scared to get in another marriage cuz she got screwed over last time after soooo long. but one thing is 100% certain, she loves you and will marry you someday. so hang in there...do that time off thing if you think it's a good idea. i have no experience whatsover in these things so just beware. o.k. good luck! 

 
September 20, 2005, 4:57 am CDT

How Do I Trust Again?

Five years ago,  I got myself out of an abusive relationship.  It took me three and a half years to let any man get close enough to touch me on the shoulder and have me not think I had mud on me.  Now, though, I've got other problems.  I've come further along with my mind and I know that there's men out there that are different and don't hit and don't have anger issues; and that's great.  I've been on the dating game for over a year now and have hit a reputable website and had put my name down at a singles agency in my capital city.  After I had been on all the blind dates I could handle from the singles agency, I told them to lose my number (after around 6 months); it just wasn't working for me.  The problem is:  once I get a guy interested, they seem to stop calling.  I don't inundate them with my past as it's a personal thing and it's not what they're into.  I'm seeing a good therapist and so I am dealing with it.  Another problem I have is trust too.  Some guys get a little too close and I end up playing too hard to get.  I see my cousins are getting married and feel like I'm being left behind.  What am I doing wrong?  Or is it the guys?
 
September 20, 2005, 8:36 am CDT

it's both

Quote From: mozette197

Five years ago,  I got myself out of an abusive relationship.  It took me three and a half years to let any man get close enough to touch me on the shoulder and have me not think I had mud on me.  Now, though, I've got other problems.  I've come further along with my mind and I know that there's men out there that are different and don't hit and don't have anger issues; and that's great.  I've been on the dating game for over a year now and have hit a reputable website and had put my name down at a singles agency in my capital city.  After I had been on all the blind dates I could handle from the singles agency, I told them to lose my number (after around 6 months); it just wasn't working for me.  The problem is:  once I get a guy interested, they seem to stop calling.  I don't inundate them with my past as it's a personal thing and it's not what they're into.  I'm seeing a good therapist and so I am dealing with it.  Another problem I have is trust too.  Some guys get a little too close and I end up playing too hard to get.  I see my cousins are getting married and feel like I'm being left behind.  What am I doing wrong?  Or is it the guys?

I think you are putting to much thought into dating.  It's just dating, not marriage yet.  Just have fun!  I understand your pain and your fear when it comes to trusting.  But you only live once.  Figure out what type of guys you want and stick with it.  Don't play hard to get, but don't fall too hard too soon either....just take it easy.  Just get to know each other like friends and let it work from there.  You should always build a relationship off a friendship first.  That is a true answer to dating, So I think.  I wish I had all the right things to say but there is really no right answer to this.  But there are wrong things to do to create conflict and that is why they are not calling you back.   Just like I said, have fun.  When you meet someone and go on a date, just be fun and laugh alot. Be your true self, not the one hurt self that is on the outside.  Dig deep and let people in! 

Good luck, I wish you the best!   

 
September 27, 2005, 7:22 am CDT

Lonely again!

I am 27 years old and single again. I have had two serious relationships in the past 4 years and both have ended with my boyfriends cheating on me. What is it that makes men do this? Is one woman not good enough? I was with one for two and a half years, we went through alot and I was there with him through some really rough times in his life and to thank me for it he got another woman pregnant while we were trying to have a baby. The second came along a few months later and really was there for me through a rough spot in my life but just like the first he couldn't be with just one woman either. I am a very nice, sweet, caring, and loving person who just wants to be in love and be happy. Is that too much to ask for nowadays? I'm starting to think it is. I just want someone who is willing to meet me half way and have a partnership. I am starting to lose hope!
 
September 27, 2005, 7:33 am CDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: voidheart

After countless discussions with many men, who have been destroyed by their exes, I have come to several conclusions.  One: Is that women today are manipulative, hurtful, self centered creatures, that are to be avoided at all costs.  Two: Money is the key to happiness; it will ensure survival; it will protect you from all the crap your ex sends your way; and it will ensure comfort for your kids.  Three: Money will not buy love, but it sure in heck will rent it for a while!!  Show up in Las Vegas, with a stack of bills, and you will find true love!!  Remember, today's woman is about " For Now", not " Forever "!  

   

So, if you are tired of being proof that Hell is full, and the dead walk the Earth; avoid women!  She ain't pretty, she just looks that way!!  Here's one of my favorite lines to use, if a woman approaches you: " I do not want to shake your hand.  Because, if I shake your hand, I might like you, and if I like you, I might fall in love with you.  And you will destroy my heart.  And I do not have the time or patience for that ANYMORE!!  Make money, enjoy your life Voidheart.  

Obviously you are looking at the wrong women. Pretty on the outside is not always pretty on the inside. Maybe you are being to judgemental about women who don't look exactly like what you think you should be with. Step outside of your box and you might find someone worth having.
 
September 27, 2005, 4:43 pm CDT

Does every man deserve a second chance?

I've been with Bill for 2 years. This is the 3rd time I have left him. He keeps promising to change and always does the same crap. I take him back with his promise to change and then he shows me that he's not gonna change. This time I told him that until he shows me instead of tells me that he is capable of change, I am not going back. I told him he has 6 months to show me that it is possible for him to do the right thing. After 6 months of him doing the right thing I told him I will go home. Now however, I wonder should I go, even if he does change. Isn't 2 chances enough? I do love him, but enough is enough, right?
 
September 27, 2005, 4:59 pm CDT

Out of the box?

Quote From: sweetpee26

Obviously you are looking at the wrong women. Pretty on the outside is not always pretty on the inside. Maybe you are being to judgemental about women who don't look exactly like what you think you should be with. Step outside of your box and you might find someone worth having.
Out of th box?  Do you mean, like in the movie Shallow Hal?  Hey, young, old, pretty or ugly, it does not matter.  A man's heart, soul, and sense of purpose, is all at risk with the opposite sex.  Us guys call it " Oprahism" or the, " Me, me, me, me ,me"  generation of women. They get wed on the new vows, " Until something better comes along"!  For now, rather than Forever!  It's too much work and risk for a man to ~chase~ a woman.  I'd rather go shopping for " Rent a Girlfriend ", at least the women are honest about who they are, and what they want from you!  Out of the box ~no~, off the planet ~maybe~!! Thx.....Voidheart.
 
September 29, 2005, 9:49 am CDT

what happened?

Quote From: voidheart

Out of th box?  Do you mean, like in the movie Shallow Hal?  Hey, young, old, pretty or ugly, it does not matter.  A man's heart, soul, and sense of purpose, is all at risk with the opposite sex.  Us guys call it " Oprahism" or the, " Me, me, me, me ,me"  generation of women. They get wed on the new vows, " Until something better comes along"!  For now, rather than Forever!  It's too much work and risk for a man to chase a woman.  I'd rather go shopping for " Rent a Girlfriend ", at least the women are honest about who they are, and what they want from you!  Out of the box no, off the planet maybe!! Thx.....Voidheart.
Not all women are like this at all.  Both men and women have a tendency to totally disrespect their marriage vows.  I am a woman.  I just got out of a bad marriage where he decided that my best friend would be a great "replacement" for me.   In my opinion,  anyone who does not respect their partner enough to keep their promises is not worth having.  I can only speak for myself, but I have never and will never cheat on anyone.  I have a big heart, and I try to live by the golden rule.  My point is that I can't possibly be the only woman who thinks like this.  If you look, you will find a person who looks good and behaves herself.   Good luck and best wishes-K- Sunshine
 
September 29, 2005, 10:24 am CDT

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: voidheart

Out of th box?  Do you mean, like in the movie Shallow Hal?  Hey, young, old, pretty or ugly, it does not matter.  A man's heart, soul, and sense of purpose, is all at risk with the opposite sex.  Us guys call it " Oprahism" or the, " Me, me, me, me ,me"  generation of women. They get wed on the new vows, " Until something better comes along"!  For now, rather than Forever!  It's too much work and risk for a man to chase a woman.  I'd rather go shopping for " Rent a Girlfriend ", at least the women are honest about who they are, and what they want from you!  Out of the box no, off the planet maybe!! Thx.....Voidheart.
Check what kind of women you are looking at again. Men never want to be categorized but isn't that what you are doing to women. Not all women are like that, don't try and give us good women a bad name. It is hard enough for us as it is. And what about the men who only want little skinny supermodel type women, bigger woman are worthy of love too. Do you think that all women go into relationships without any feelings involved? Woman are 9 times out of ten the ones who get their feelings heart in a relationship. Do you guys realize how devistating it is to spend 1, 2, or even 3 years of your life with someone to find out you are not what they want or that they can't be satisfied with just one woman, and you have to start completely over again and again. Don't stereotype woman and we won't stereotype men.
 
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