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Topic : Tired of Being Single

Number of Replies: 3882

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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:12:41 pm

Author : dataimport

Have you had enough of the single life? What are you doing to find happiness? Share your story. For your safety and privacy, please do not post personal information such as phone numbers, addresses, social security numbers or any other private information. Please use common sense when using this message board and never give out your personal information online.

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osofinealp

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Worried

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November 3, 2007, 11:04 pm PDT

moving past friendship.......?

I am a 25 yo divorced mother of two. The past few years of my marriage were not good ones. I was going to college at the time and my lab partner seemed to pay me more attention than my husband. I really enjoyed the friendship we had. He was also in a relationship at the time.

I moved away for a year and a half but kept contact with my lab partner. it was strictly in a "friend" way. Even though I really had more feelings for him. I just did not think it would be appropriate to try and start anything with this man while we were both with other people.

I am now divorced, living back in the same town as my guy friend. I recently looked him up and we had lunch. I learned that he is moving out of his gf house and they are no longer together. We have been hanging out and going to dinner and movies once a week or so. I really enjoy his company. he is swamped with school, art and his managerial position at the moment. I don't want to bug him too much.

I did end up telling him that I enjoyed hanging out with him and I liked him as more than a friend. The response I got was not awful. he said he just ended this terrible relationship but did't know what to do now. he still has been wanting to hang out and be friends........

my question is:

should I just let him make the next more? should I write him off? should I continue in this friendship thinking there could be more? I really have nothing to loose here. we get along great and he is a very interesting person. I'm just not sure if I should back off and give him space or if I should continue to be involved in his life as I have been for the past few months...... any advice would be great

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kwindshawn

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Stressed

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sad

November 4, 2007, 5:40 pm PST

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: tm81571

iunderstand that they may think that about any man but i am not like alot of men. i for one take care of my responsability as a father. i have the softes and biggest heart in texas. i want a partner in my life to share my life with and my kids and hers are a bonus to have. thats the way i see it. you can email me if you want to at tem81571@yahoo.com. i would like to chat more....thank you

Don't take offense at this..please..but I don't understand men at all. I can't figure out what is wrong with me. I mean isn't a roll in the hay what they all are looking for..and be honest. I mean, I have heard lots of men say they want something more, but none I have been around mean it. They take what they want, and move on. I really want a male viewpoint on this, because as it stands, I am staying alone..not because I want to, but because I am tired of feeling like crap and being treated like it as well. I date once every two years, and I have to work really hard just to get that much-and for what? If I could turn off the hope I would because it has brought nothing but pain for me.

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tm81571

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Happy

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November 5, 2007, 5:54 pm PST

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: kwindshawn

Don't take offense at this..please..but I don't understand men at all. I can't figure out what is wrong with me. I mean isn't a roll in the hay what they all are looking for..and be honest. I mean, I have heard lots of men say they want something more, but none I have been around mean it. They take what they want, and move on. I really want a male viewpoint on this, because as it stands, I am staying alone..not because I want to, but because I am tired of feeling like crap and being treated like it as well. I date once every two years, and I have to work really hard just to get that much-and for what? If I could turn off the hope I would because it has brought nothing but pain for me.

i didn't take it offense at all because i know that the bad guys out there has ruined it for the good guys. i have never in my life have went somewhere just for sex. i am way to scared about what i may get for one thing. i like all of my body parts right where they are. lol. the real point of view is that you are right most men are just looking for that one thing. i am not i want the whole entire package.....heart, soul, friendship, trust, and respect. it is really hard for us few good guys left to get the respect as men because the bad ones have really made it hard on us through the eyes of the respectful ladies. i hope this helped you........

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indus05

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Silly

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November 6, 2007, 7:41 am PST

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: tm81571

i didn't take it offense at all because i know that the bad guys out there has ruined it for the good guys. i have never in my life have went somewhere just for sex. i am way to scared about what i may get for one thing. i like all of my body parts right where they are. lol. the real point of view is that you are right most men are just looking for that one thing. i am not i want the whole entire package.....heart, soul, friendship, trust, and respect. it is really hard for us few good guys left to get the respect as men because the bad ones have really made it hard on us through the eyes of the respectful ladies. i hope this helped you........

You are right! My boyfriend is one of the good guys. He couldn't care less about the sex part, it's just not the most important part of our relationship. The closeness, trust, and love are the crucial attributes. Don't give up, there are good folks out there, just a little harder to find!

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kwindshawn

User Mood
Stressed

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November 6, 2007, 7:33 pm PST

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: indus05

You are right! My boyfriend is one of the good guys. He couldn't care less about the sex part, it's just not the most important part of our relationship. The closeness, trust, and love are the crucial attributes. Don't give up, there are good folks out there, just a little harder to find!

If I knew where to find them I would have one. Everyone tells me good ones are out there, but I have yet to meet one. I know it is probably something I do, but I can't change what I am. And if I did, I would be fake, right?
So in staying myself, I am basically sealing my fate...

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tm81571

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Happy

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November 6, 2007, 7:44 pm PST

Tired of Being Single

there are almost impossible to find where i live.

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kwindshawn

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Stressed

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November 7, 2007, 3:34 pm PST

Tired of Being Single

I can honestly say there aren't any good ones here either.

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indus05

User Mood
Silly

Message Emote

November 8, 2007, 4:51 pm PST

Tired of Being Single

Quote From: tm81571

there are almost impossible to find where i live.

Guess I'm lucky I live in southern California!

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lad009

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Depressed

Message Emote

November 8, 2007, 9:17 pm PST

Hang in there

Quote From: slayereve

I am 23 years-old, and recently found a job through a summer youth program. I work at a food bank. This is where I met a guy I will call "Joe." Joe and I have been flirting, but the last few days it kind of wound down. I could see it in his eyes that he was thinking about not starting a relationship with me. He told me to give it time several weeks ago, and so I figured that I was being paranoid about the look in his eyes, because I am self-conscious. I am upset because I have been very distrustful of relationships, and then I meet "Joe," who is good looking, intelligent, and nice. I have lost a lot of respect for him, as he had none for me. Instead of talking with me privately, he had a conversation with other co-workers behind my back, then had another guy "Ben" tell me that he wasn't interested in a relationship. Am I disappointed, yes; do I respect his wishes? Definately. My problem, is that either a guy flirts, but doesn't ask me out; other guys only make comments about my body, so I avoid relationships with them (most times). I haven't dated in 2 years; my last date broke up with me the day after Valentine's Day, and I have never had an actual boyfriend, though my younger sisters and brother have had long term relationships. I am wonder, what am I doing wrong? What am I supposed to do to attract a good looking, intelligent, and nice man. What is wrong with me?

I must say that there is definitely nothing wrong with you. I know how you feel about rejection. I am 29 years old and I too have had problems finding that special someone in my life and when guys reject me, I think there is something wrong with me also. I seem to get the guys that approah me (since I am shy) and they always seem really interested in me. Most of the time we end up dating but then after a few months they ditch me and run. Just about all of them are selfish and only think of themselves. It isn't you, trust me. You should first determine who you are as a person. Have confidence in yourself no matter what happens. Hey if they turn you down, then I always say "it's their loss". The first moment that you find out that a guy is being ignorant or unfaithful to you, ditch him fast and head in the other direction. Tell yourself that you definitely deserve better. They do say that things happen when you least expect it. I am reading this book called "Woman Who Love Too Much" and it is a great book. I'm not sure if it fits your description but it's about woman who fall for the wrong men and disregard the right ones. But I'm not sure if that is what is happening to you but if it is, read it, great book. Flirting is great isn't it? Be careful though, I like to do that as well, however don't become too flirty, find out more about the guy first, what his interests are, what he is looking for. I have learned to ask lots and lots of questions beforehand to get a sense or to see if the person is even interested in any long term relationship. The excitement of first meeting someone and flirting is definitely fun, but if you are looking for that special someone to start a relationship with, try not to get too far over your head. If he is the instigator, try to back off just a bit and calm things down. Sit down and chat or talk on the phone first get to know one another. I'm so confused in finding the right guy for me, I'm about to contact Dr. Phil myself. Hope this helps. You are still young, enjoy single life as much as you can, trust me, you will value your freedom now. It's hard to make a commitment sometimes.

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cutelilrocker

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Sad

Message Emote
frustrated

November 8, 2007, 10:56 pm PST

Help?!?

I'm 20 years old and i find it so hard to find a nice guy after living in a small town my whole life. I grew up with almost all the guys around here and I can't bring myself to date any of them after knowing them for so many years. I think that half of my problem is that i only seem to be attracted to guys that are 2-4 years older than me. The other half is that guys my age are either on drugs or walking around thinking they're "gangsta". I'm not gonna lie i smoked pot when i was in high school and i dated guys that did it but I got out of that lifestyle and i feel like i'm being judgemental when it come to guys that still do it. I don't know what to do anymore I hate being single and I really don't trust the online dating thing. Somebody please I need some advice!!!

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