Topic : 11/06 The Lie Detector

I feel for the children.  Forget the parents and their personal trips someone has to protect the children.  Our society is sick and I cannot believe with all the technology that is available that people are still taking advantage of children.  What is social service for, not the children?  Take the child away from both parents in this case.  I'm sorry they do not deserve this little girl.  The mother knew the father was with a child (12 year old girl) and since it was not her child she did nothing.  Now she needs help.  Shame on social service, the mother, and the father. 

I just read the women's posting with the 12 year old, keep trying to protect your children no matter what. 

I feel for the children.  Forget the parents and their personal trips someone has to protect the children.  Our society is sick and I cannot believe with all the technology that is available that people are still taking advantage of children.  What is social service for, not the children?  Take the child away from both parents in this case.  I'm sorry they do not deserve this little girl.  The mother knew the father was with a child (12 year old girl) and since it was not her child she did nothing.  Now she needs help.  Shame on social service, the mother, and the father. 

I just read the women's posting with the 12 year old, keep trying to protect your children no matter what. 

I am a licensed Private Investigator in California and have seen firsthand how our overworked social services tend to brush things under the rug.  I am not saying that all social workers are this way...however, the few that have are endangering our children.  

 I worked a case regarding a missing 5 year old who had been taken by family friends.  The grandmother who hired us is poor and without resources.  We located the child in Los Angeles County...the family is from Kern County.  When the family called us, they had already called the police and CPS.  They were told that because the child was in L.A. County they needed to call the authorities there.  When they called L.A. County, there were told to call Kern County.  No one wanted to take responsibility for this missing child.  An L.A. social worker had threatened this young mother, without evidence, into signing over temporary custody to this woman who had taken the child.  He told her that if she didn't, he would put her child in foster care.  This woman then had this mother picked up on an old warrant and put in jail.  While the mother was in jail, two strangers came to visit her.  They told her that they wanted to "adopt" her son and that if she would sign over custody to them, they would pay her bail.  She told them no.  She then called her mother, who called us. 

We called the woman who was supposed to have custody of this child.  She told us that she had "lost" temporary custody of the little boy.  Her partner and she had been "marketing" this little boy up and down the coast for a family.  This woman had found a couple who wanted to meet the little boy.  They invited them to dinner, introduced them to the 5 year old, and then let them take him home for the weekend.  Well, apparently, while this couple had him, the woman's partner thought that she was being cut from the loop and convinced these people that he needed to be protected from her.  They went down to an L.A. County Superior Court and filed for temporary guardianship.  In the paperwork they stated that the little boy was abandoned, that his mother and grandmother were homeless and nowhere to be found.  They stated that they needed to obtain temporary guardianship for school and immunizations.  (mind you, the child was up to date on his shots).  A judge, signed the temporary guardianship without a hearing.  The couple and the "partner" took their court order and went to the woman's house and had the police remove the child and place him with this strange family.

When we were hired, the child was already living with strangers.  We met the woman that had originally taken the child in Los Angeles, she was attempting to regain custody of this child.  We called Kern County CPS and informed them of what was going on.  They said they could do nothing...to see if we could arrange for the people to bring the child to Kern County. 

We then went to see the "adoptive" parents.  They were a very nice, well off couple in Woodland Hills.  The little boy was there.  They invited us in.  We told them that we were there to talk about the court case.  They did not realize who we were working for and told us the whole story.  We informed them that we were hired by the grandmother, and that there was no authorization on anyone's part to put this child up for "adoption".  We told them that the grandmother wanted her grandson back the next day or we would be involving the police.  Not wanting any problems, they returned the child to us in Kern County at CPS.  CPS then turned the child over to his grandmother. 

What makes me sick...even now...is that this little boy suffered for a couple of months.  He was taken from family to family and marketed like an animal.  Then, given to strangers for the weekend to try out.  No CPS agency would help...No law enforcement.  And then to top it all off, a Superior Court Judge just signed off on temporary guardianship without a hearing.  Without any evidence.  This little boy could have been taken out of the country, killed and buried in someone's backyard and no one would have known.  This family could have just disappeared with him. 

The system does not always work for the vicitms anymore.  More and more we are hired to do things that government should be and could be doing.  More and more I am seeing the burden shifted to some other "department" in order to avoid having to take responsibility.  The vicitims suffer. 

So, it really bothers me when I hear Dr. Phil say that all social workers investigate to the fullest and protect the child.  That is not always the case.  I'm not saying that there are not social workers out there who do everything they can to protect the children.  I know there are.  However, I also know that there are the few or maybe even the many now, who are overworked, overburdened and don't do the job that could be done.  And it is the children and the parents trying to protect their children who are suffering.  But my biggest fear is this...what about the children who have no "good" parent looking after them.  What of the children who are in a home with two abusers.  What happens when they fall through the cracks. 

Even with a mother and a grandmother doing everything they could to find and get this 5 year old returned, he came back damaged.  I kept in contact with this family...he wouldn't talk...and when he did, he said that he had been hit in the care of the woman who originally took him.  He was removed from kindergarten because he would have outbursts and hit children.  He had to go to counseling and his mother had to stay home with him when he wasn't able to attend school.  And what happened to these people???  NOTHING  No one cared...because there were two counties and no one wanted to take responsibility. 

believe me, i understand how you feel but if she didnt give her to him, she would have been with him while she was in jail. that would have been even worse. My heart in so in crediblely sad. I just watched the show, I know protective services has screwed up here in florda big time, this is making me loose faith in our world so much, my life has been so damaged because of abuse. I pray that keely is safe. thats all i can say, feel like crying

Barb and service dog Olsen

Overall, many message board writers have written in to say that they think Dad is lying...that they believe he may be guilty of the allegations of molesting his 3-year old daughter.  But then, many of you also go on to admonish Mom and Grandma's behavior, including Dr. Phil to a degree.

Unfortunately, this is how a lot of people think.  It's dangerous thinking. If you truly believed in your heart of hearts, that your 3-year old child was being molested, as her mom, what is appropriate behavior to protect your child from further abuse when your complaints have been dismissed?

Should they remain silent? Should a family therapist be brought in to "calm everyone down" and mutually resolve a potential abuse situation by giving everyone a script on how to act and how to react?  How do they sit down and "work it out"?

 If abuse is occuring, do we really expect that a compromise or rationale talk can get to the root of the problem and there be a calm settlement to end the molestation?  Do we expect that the alleged offender will admit to any abuse? Do we expect that the alleged offender would be capable of stopping or agreeing to supervised visitation because he really cares about his child, if he is molesting her?

As a protective parent, it is VERY appropriate to make a stink and draw attention to a situation and offense that you believe is traumatizing your child. It doesn't get much worse than being molested from your own flesh and blood.

 In Kaylee's case, the first suspicion of possible abuse was raised by CPS after Father took Kaylee to the hospital with a vaginal tear.  Mom didn't raise the allegations.  Prior to the allegations, mom was allowing visitation...and encouraged it...even though Dad was out of the picture and didn't visit his child in some time.  There was no custody or visitation battle going on. 

Child abuse investigators should ALWAYS error on the side of safety and caution of the child, especially when they are the first ones to raise the flag.  I believe they dropped the ball here, folks.

People need to put themselves in the same shoes...and consider what an uphill battle it is for any protective protect to try to safeguard their child from a family member who may be molesting their child.  Our safety mechanisms and laws are very much stacked against protecting children from incest. 

Below is a short article written by Andrew Vachss, a New York attorney and writer who specializes in child sexual abuse.  This article appeared in Parade Magazine in March 29, 1998 as part of a feature article called Our Endangered Species:  A Hard Look At How We Treat Children.

The article below is an excerpt from his main provocative article and is enlightening and frightening:

"Why It Takes A Whole Village To Rape A Child

A classic illustration of devolution is our laws against incest. What is the difference between sex with a child of another and a child of one's own? We all know—and the data prove—the truth. When a male (note: I do not say a "man") has sex with a neighbor's child, prison is a likely possibility. But should such a creature have sex with his own child, we euphemistically deem it "family dysfunction" and call in the therapists.

Incest laws were enacted to prevent the birth of biogenetic defectives. But why do such laws apply to children? Children do not have the biological capacity to reproduce. Laws prohibiting sex or marriage between closely related adults protect the species. But incest prohibition as to children has no such value.

Simply put, we as a nation consider children to be the property of their parents. And we provide a special immunity to sex offenders who grow their own victims. Which is more destructive to our species: the random sexual assault of a child or the sexual assault of a child by the very individual whom all laws command to protect that child? What is the moral, social or ethical justification from distinguishing sexual assault by blood relationship of the victim to the perpetrator? We can come to but one conclusion: The laws against incest exist not to protect children but to protect predators.

Yes, our human race remains the only one that tolerates nonprotective parents and same-species predators. The incest laws make that point, written in the blood of innocents. This is the question about incest laws for every legislator in the land: Explain it or change it. And unless we, as a society, start asking that question, we will continue our "evolution" until we have lost our humanity."    -  written by Andrew Vachss.

What most people don’t understand about CPS is that there are too many children and not enough CPS workers to go around. Its not that a CPS worker wants to send a child to an abusive family but it’s the fact that they have no other choice. One CPS worker can spend 12 maybe even 16 hours looking for just one person to take in one child. And even though they know in there heart there not doing the right thing because there gut feeling is that this family is not right. They have no other choice. They cant take in that child, nor can that child stay in an already overcrowded orphanage. So this is my advise to anyone who says CPS isn’t doing there job. Have you applied to become a foster parent? Have you donated your time to help those children who are in need of just a hug? Before you judge think of what you can do to help solve the problem?