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Topic : 03/29 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Number of Replies: 1371
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Created on : Friday, November 03, 2006, 01:01:10 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/08/06) When it comes to dating, they say age is just a number. But what happens when the man is more than two decades older than his girlfriend, or the woman is 15 years older than her young lover? Forty-year-old Sanjay is a wealthy cosmetic surgeon who met 18-year-old Jacqueline on the Web site SugarDaddie.com. They’ve only been together four months but are already talking marriage. Sanjay’s friend, Mike, is convinced that Jacqueline will put him right in the poorhouse! Is there a chance that Sanjay has found true love, or is Jacqueline just in it for the money? Then, 24-year-old Ryan is engaged to Angela, a woman 15 years his senior. Ryan’s friend, Donovan, fears that Angela is alienating Ryan from his buddies. Will Ryan have to choose between his college friends and his soon-to-be wife? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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April 2, 2007, 4:30 pm CDT

Does age really matter?

Quote From: angelaswindow

Thanks April,

 

Unfortunately that wasn't the real me.  I don't wear all that makeup, the clothes were not my own, and my hair is a lot curlier, but according to the producers they don't like wavy hair....LOL.  Now the personality was all my own.  I truly at the time was in love with Ryan.  Unfortunately they tried to make me look like the controlling older woman when in fact, Ryan was the one keeping me separate from his friends because he thought I would want to be with them instead.  He had some insecurity issues that were what eventually broke us apart.  What they should have shown on this rerun was his friend Donovan and I confronting each other after the cameras quit rolling.  I was finally able to tell Donovan that I was not the one that was keeping Ryan from his friends, but that Ryan was.  The guy I am with now, although close to Ryans age, has none of the insecurities and trust issues.  My greatest wish is that people see each other for who they are and not their age.  I know men in their 40's who act as immature as men in their 20's. I love the weight loss and only have 20 more lbs I am hoping to shed.  Congrats on your weight loss also.  Take care.

I am a 26 yr old women from Hamilton, New Zealand and I watch your show about shanjay and his 18 year old girl friend.  While watching the 18 yr old talk about she being poor growing up when I saw her parents place on tv um that looked quite well off.  With my experience struggling from scratch my parents split when I was 10 and we moved from Auckland to Hamilton we had nothing when my mum got a state house we had no bed to sleep on only the hard floor with our blankets.  There was my mum, myself and my 3 sisters and 2 brothers living at home in a 3 bedroom place.  Well I have been in that situation like the 18 yr old I was 21 going out with a38 yrs old man and now we have a 3 yr old son together, I was young and haven't really experience life but then having a child was a hugh step for me.  I'm no longer with the father but always been with older men I find that i've always been attracted to them alot.  I am currently with a 33 yr old man that we have been together for 9 months and we are in love together we have talked about getting married but not rushing into things.  You need to take your time not rushing into it.  I think with shanjay and his 18 yr old girl friend she needs to experience life as it is there will be future men out there and watching shanjay smiling while his mate for 10 years mike was giving her crap it was like shanjay was enjoying it and didn't say anything to support her, is that a relationship she really wants?  Her man not standing up for her if he loves her alot how can he defend her when he can't stand up for her on live television?  Are they really in love or what? or is it for his MONEY?   Real love comes from the heart not in CASH.
 
April 2, 2007, 4:52 pm CDT

Good to Know

Hi, I'm single and live in San Diego, CA.  Growing up in LA County, I moved south, not liking the almost natural "material" nature of the county.  I've never written, before, however I was prompted to write becuase I thought it was very refreshing to hear Sanjay's friend comment about "patience, love and understanding" being offered in a relationship.  I thought that was very refreshing and wanted to acknowlege his nice comment.  I was happy to know there are still people that think this way and remember the important foundation items.  Have a great day!  Laura

 

P.S. if she's not a brat, why did she throw a temper tantrum before the break.  I don't believe Sanjay should ever have to remove any of his friend/late wife's belongings until he is ready.  Send the little girl home, because it's the right thing to do.  I believe her Father stated it best by not meeting Sanjay.  I believe Sanay is in a sad place, but feel he can do better for himself now and in the long run by doing anything else with his time.  He should listen to his best friend or worse case scenario they get married and his best friend, who would naturally take the place of best man, would probably be banned from attending.  Not exactly a pretty future.

 

 
April 2, 2007, 8:16 pm CDT

Disagree- at least with these couples

I needed to reply to this- I guess better late than never- but you can't decide about relationships with age differences based on these 2 couples!!  The Sugar Daddy couple was just appalling to watch.  There are girls that are very mature at 18 and would probably be wonderful with a rich 40 year old- but this girl......  I'm sorry, but my almost 14 year old son (and we know boys/men mature later than women) has more maturity now than this girl will probably ever have!!!  I was glad when Dr. Phil finally had them go off stage- if I had to listen to her WHINE for 1 more minute- I probably would have gone through the TV and clamped her mouth!  Dr. Phil- far more patience than me!  Her "Sugar Daddy" may think he's "taking care" of her- but to me- it sounds like he just needs some therapy in how to deal with his wife's unfortunate death- as if he feels that he didn't "take care" of her- so he's making up.  Buddy- the whining WILL get old FAST!

 

Couple 2-  She just came off as if she's his mother!!  You can so see it- Yeah, go out with your friends.... but she won't be speaking to him-  She is so "trying" to be young- you have to wonder what she missed out on early in life and is now trying to make up for!?  Would it be the fact that she had a baby at 20?  I just turned 40 and yes- there are many very handsome 24 yr olds- but he seemed very immature and clingy- as if he had never had someone show him that much attention!  He barely opened his mouth- Dr. Phil says you need to talk about this, that and the other and she pounces right in with , we have, we did, we know--  If they do get married- 3-5 years at the most for making it!! 

 
April 3, 2007, 7:35 am CDT

any update on sugar daddy???

I read the update that Angela posted - Ryan is history.  But what about Sanjay and Jacqueline?  Does anybody know what's happened to them? 
 
April 3, 2007, 8:10 am CDT

You are so right

Quote From: mcalvillo1

Ok, here it is, plain and simple.

Different people handle different situations differently.  There, that's not so hard, right? 

lol.  Having an age difference is not going to make or break a relationship.  It's the people involved and how they handle that age difference (or any other factor) that determines the outcome.  People have had long, loving relationships with HUGE age differences so obviously it is possible.  There is a 26 yr age difference in my relationship.  I was 19 and he was, well, 26 yrs older (you can add).  We just meshed and are very happy 6 years later.  I'm not saying that this is the ONLY RIGHT way to live.  This is what worked for us.  People need to stop saying that having an age gap is the WRONG way and just accept that it does work for some. 

Relationships with wide age gaps can work and do work - there is no denying that!  I think it is wonderful to honour true love wherever anyone can find it - rich/poor, young/old, black/white, religious/atheist, beautiful/not beautiful - maybe opposites really do attract!!

 

However, despite the continuing misguided debate on the message board, this show was NOT about criticizing age difference but about the problems that can arise BECAUSE of the age difference - in the same way that problems can arise in a relationship BECAUSE of cultural differences OR ethnic differences OR religious differences OR economic differences OR physical differences OR mental differences - the list is endless.  All of these "differences" can create an imbalance in the relationship that will have a huge impact on its future success or failure.  And we all know that Dr. Phil is about helping everyone to make sure ANY relationship we involve ourselves in is a positive one.

 

The "differences" can and do make the relationship more challenging because they are not the "norm".  There is no denying that either.   The "norm" is to seek out someone with whom you will be the most compatible and that usually means someone who is not 100% different from you.  These challenges can be overcome by two people who are truly soulmates and have no ulterior motives or serious personal issues.  Dr. Phil's goal was to make sure the people involved had their eyes wide open to the challenges they would face in the future. But the two couples featured were so obviously not there - both pairings (can't call them relationships because that implies equality) seemed to be founded upon one party taking advantage of the other - something that will NOT have a good outcome for ANY of them.  C'mon people - get with the program . . .

 
April 3, 2007, 11:55 am CDT

03/29 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Quote From: justafan

Relationships with wide age gaps can work and do work - there is no denying that!  I think it is wonderful to honour true love wherever anyone can find it - rich/poor, young/old, black/white, religious/atheist, beautiful/not beautiful - maybe opposites really do attract!!

 

However, despite the continuing misguided debate on the message board, this show was NOT about criticizing age difference but about the problems that can arise BECAUSE of the age difference - in the same way that problems can arise in a relationship BECAUSE of cultural differences OR ethnic differences OR religious differences OR economic differences OR physical differences OR mental differences - the list is endless.  All of these "differences" can create an imbalance in the relationship that will have a huge impact on its future success or failure.  And we all know that Dr. Phil is about helping everyone to make sure ANY relationship we involve ourselves in is a positive one.

 

The "differences" can and do make the relationship more challenging because they are not the "norm".  There is no denying that either.   The "norm" is to seek out someone with whom you will be the most compatible and that usually means someone who is not 100% different from you.  These challenges can be overcome by two people who are truly soulmates and have no ulterior motives or serious personal issues.  Dr. Phil's goal was to make sure the people involved had their eyes wide open to the challenges they would face in the future. But the two couples featured were so obviously not there - both pairings (can't call them relationships because that implies equality) seemed to be founded upon one party taking advantage of the other - something that will NOT have a good outcome for ANY of them.  C'mon people - get with the program . . .

Thank you very much, there seems to be so many people getting unnecessarily defensive. This show was also about using people because of age.
 
April 3, 2007, 11:04 pm CDT

I prefer a more serious relationship!

I was once into a "sugar daddy" type relationship. It turned out to be a sad story at last. The other day, a dear friend of mine invited me to visit another site MillionaireMatch.com. It seems they have a good concept of romance for successful singles. I signed up and looked around. I am surprised that there are many local successful men who match my criteria. I believe I can find my special someone there. I am also a successful woman. I don't love my man because of his money, but for who he is.
 
April 4, 2007, 9:26 am CDT

03/29 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Quote From: alice96

I was once into a "sugar daddy" type relationship. It turned out to be a sad story at last. The other day, a dear friend of mine invited me to visit another site MillionaireMatch.com. It seems they have a good concept of romance for successful singles. I signed up and looked around. I am surprised that there are many local successful men who match my criteria. I believe I can find my special someone there. I am also a successful woman. I don't love my man because of his money, but for who he is.
"I don't love my man because of his money, but for who he is."

So, why are you looking on a site called "Millionaire Match"? If you don't care about money then don't care.

LOL, seriously, are you serious here? You don't care about money but you are going to a website called "millionaire match"?
 
April 4, 2007, 11:24 am CDT

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Quote From: mcalvillo1

Ok, here it is, plain and simple.

Different people handle different situations differently.  There, that's not so hard, right? 

lol.  Having an age difference is not going to make or break a relationship.  It's the people involved and how they handle that age difference (or any other factor) that determines the outcome.  People have had long, loving relationships with HUGE age differences so obviously it is possible.  There is a 26 yr age difference in my relationship.  I was 19 and he was, well, 26 yrs older (you can add).  We just meshed and are very happy 6 years later.  I'm not saying that this is the ONLY RIGHT way to live.  This is what worked for us.  People need to stop saying that having an age gap is the WRONG way and just accept that it does work for some. 

You couldn't have said it any easier sweetheart!! Different strokes for different folks!!! THOUGH in reality, it usually doen't work out due to age and goal-oriented differences, you have just explained to America that IT CAN AND WILL WORK IF YOU WILLING TO WORK AT IT!! Just my 2 cents... Jen

 
April 4, 2007, 10:17 pm CDT

amen to that!

Quote From: kelly52562

 I can't even tell you how immature, and pathetic the first couple (he's 40, she's 18).  His poor wife must be turning over in her grave.  I noted that the "little girl"  forbids even 1 picture of his dead wife in his home, but she was sure as hell more that willing to take her car.  Oh, but she doesn't want his money.  Again, just another way that she is so immature, she is jelous of a DEAD woman.  How is she going to act when a woman who is "alive and sexy" comes up to him to have some plastic surgery done? How outrageous is that !!!  I am just sicked by the both of them. 
I noticed that Dr Phil didn't point out that SHE lied about her age as well on her profile, it said she was 21.  I can't believe an intelligent, educated, attractive man like him would be attracted to such a whiney, immature, spoiled child!  More like 18 going on 12!  Oh my daddy's calling me....make me nauseous!!!
 
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