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Topic : 03/29 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

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Created on : Friday, November 03, 2006, 01:01:10 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/08/06) When it comes to dating, they say age is just a number. But what happens when the man is more than two decades older than his girlfriend, or the woman is 15 years older than her young lover? Forty-year-old Sanjay is a wealthy cosmetic surgeon who met 18-year-old Jacqueline on the Web site SugarDaddie.com. They’ve only been together four months but are already talking marriage. Sanjay’s friend, Mike, is convinced that Jacqueline will put him right in the poorhouse! Is there a chance that Sanjay has found true love, or is Jacqueline just in it for the money? Then, 24-year-old Ryan is engaged to Angela, a woman 15 years his senior. Ryan’s friend, Donovan, fears that Angela is alienating Ryan from his buddies. Will Ryan have to choose between his college friends and his soon-to-be wife? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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April 4, 2007, 11:17 pm CDT

03/29 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Quote From: grambarb1

I noticed that Dr Phil didn't point out that SHE lied about her age as well on her profile, it said she was 21.  I can't believe an intelligent, educated, attractive man like him would be attracted to such a whiney, immature, spoiled child!  More like 18 going on 12!  Oh my daddy's calling me....make me nauseous!!!
That's because he's using her, nothing more nothing less. This is a couple that is using each other for very superficial things. It makes me sick too, but that's their business. The ONLY thing that bothers me is this fake pretense that this is actually about LOVE...please, they don't love each other. He's using her for hot sex and she's using him for pwesents.
 
April 5, 2007, 4:11 pm CDT

I guess I'm a cougar

     I was interested in this topic because I'm 41 and my boyfriend of 2 years is 26. He looks and acts older; I look and act younger. I don't have gray hair yet but he does (and a receding hairline as well). He's European, too, so I think that makes a difference. A European man is often more mature and sophisticated that an American the same age. So, we meet in the middle.

Still, I do wish we were closer in age and would like some advice. I tried for years to find someone my age but it's rough out there. Single men my age either don't want someone my age or they have serious baggage. So, I wound up in a May-Dec. relationship. I thought it would be temporary, just for fun at first, but it grew into something more. I know it can work; my female cousin at age 42 married a 28 yr. old and they're still together 10 yrs. later.

This show wasn't so much about age as it was about the Sugardaddy and Oedipus complexes. There are couples out there without great age differences who are playing out these complexes as well. I guess it wouldn't have been as interesting a show if it were purely about age differences. There are some things to consider though. For example, my neighbor says he regrets marrying a younger woman because now he's lonely in his retirement and must wait for her to retire before they can travel. Meanwhile, I've watched his health deteriorate and I wonder if they'll ever get that chance.
 
April 5, 2007, 4:20 pm CDT

To Which Countries Was Sanjay Referring?

Sanjay, the 40 year-old man dating an 18 year-old young woman, tried to defend his relationship by saying that in "every other country" this type of relationship would be "the norm" and that he would be expected to "pay a dowry" in order to marry a girl his girlfriend's age.

This is completely false!

I am a native of Iceland and we do not have dowries or encourage marriage between two people of drastic age difference. In fact, I have lived and/or traveled in Western Europe throughout my entire life, and I can't think of a country where a forty year-old man paying a dowry to marry a girl less than half his age is "the norm".

Sanjay, do some more research before you try to pin other modern, educated nations with false cultural customs that support your life decisions.

 
April 5, 2007, 7:33 pm CDT

get a life

yes, as people we have our opinions.  the thing that bothers me, is why people insist that something is wrong. in whose eyes is it wrong? yours?  don't worry about other people, worry about yourself.  the lives of other people should not affect you. seriously, grow up. why does it matter that someone could be 20, and their mate is 40? you are not that person, you dont know what they have been through, what they have gone through-so you cannot sit here and say its wrong, or whatever.  im pretty sure you are not living the "ideal" life. unless you are god himself, you have no right to tell someone that is happy with who they are with that they are wrong. maybe you are so unhappy, you wish to bring others down. it just makes me sick how people can jump into others business and believes that they can say something. damn, GET A LIFE
 
April 5, 2007, 8:33 pm CDT

03/29 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

I THINK SHE  IS IN IT FOR THE MONEY . ONCE SHE SEE A YOUNGER GUY THAT GOT MONEY I THINK SHE WILL LEAVE HIM .
 
April 5, 2007, 9:43 pm CDT

Would Sanjay finance her education?

I see Sanjay in love with the idea of a trainable woman.  By age 30 she will know his every whim and be totally dependent on him for everything.  Would he put her through college with all that money?  That would speak volumes.  He should be thinking about her education, her ability to make it in life if suddenly he died, like his first wife.  Thank you Dr. Phil.  It was an informative show.
 
April 5, 2007, 10:11 pm CDT

It was disturbing

Quote From: jenn1949

I FOUND IT DIFFICULT TO WATCH.. THERE IS SO MANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS PICTURE.. SUGAR DADDY HAD NOT DEALT WITH HIS LOSS OF HIS WIFE.    PROVIDING FOR SOMEONE  IS NOT GROUNDS  IN A MATURE MAN/WOMAN REALATIONSHIP. THIS WAS JUST TOO WRONG, HE WAS OVERINDULGING A YOUNG IMMATURE GIRL WITH THINGS THAT SHE HAD NO VALUE CONCEPT OF, HAD NOT EXPERIENCED LIFE OR ABLE TO, HE WOULD ALWAYS GIVE NEVER ALLOWING HER TO GROW UP MENTALY, SPIRITUALLY, ECT.. ANY YOUNG PERSON WOULD WILLING ACCEPT THESE TRINKETS AND WANT MORE. 

SHE WAS JUST WAY TOO IMMATURE, WITH HER DEMANDS, COMMENTS AND ACCEPTANCE OF THIS FAIRY TALE ARRANGEMENT.

HE DEFINITELY APPEARED TO BE CAUGHT UP IN THE "PERFECT COUPLE". ..LOOKS, MONEY AND YOUTH!  I FOUND IT STRANGE THAT HE WOULD EVEN CONSIDER THE ARRANGEMENT (HIS FRIEND WAS RIGHT AND GENUINELY CONCERNED, BUT HE WAS OVER THE EDGE IN HIS COMMENTS.. EXTREMELY RUDE, CONDESCENDING). I SAW NO FUTURE IN THE ARRGT THAT WAS HEALTHY FOR EITHER PERSON.

IN PAST CULTURES AND ERAS THERE WAS A LARGE DIFFERENCE IN AGE IN SPOUSES ONLY BECAUSE MARRIAGES WERE ARRANGED BY FAMILY, DOWERIES WERE GIVEN AND THE FEMALE CHILD WAS ONLY IMPORTANT AS A MEANS OF HAVING CHILDREN.

My grandma was 18 and grandpa 38 when they married.  He was her Professor.  That was in 1916.  Times were different then.  He was a traveling school teacher; she got her education, taught school, reared her 3 sons while running a boarding house, while grandpa traveled and taught.  They had the most loving and respectful marriage.  The focus then was to keep your family in food, clothing and shelter.  They both worked hard and succeeded.

It is a blessing that Sanjay is financially stable.  Would he be able to support himself if suddenly he lost his practice?  What if he got sued by a patient and was wiped out financially?  He needs to take time off from dating and recover from the loss of his wife.  In these days, a man must play it safe with women if he wants to keep his finances intact.

 
April 5, 2007, 10:25 pm CDT

Ref: To Catch a Predator

Quote From: puella1

Sanjay, the 40 year-old man dating an 18 year-old young woman, tried to defend his relationship by saying that in "every other country" this type of relationship would be "the norm" and that he would be expected to "pay a dowry" in order to marry a girl his girlfriend's age.

This is completely false!

I am a native of Iceland and we do not have dowries or encourage marriage between two people of drastic age difference. In fact, I have lived and/or traveled in Western Europe throughout my entire life, and I can't think of a country where a forty year-old man paying a dowry to marry a girl less than half his age is "the norm".

Sanjay, do some more research before you try to pin other modern, educated nations with false cultural customs that support your life decisions.

I think in India it is acceptable for a man to be with a 13 year old girl.  I am not positively sure though.  Example:  On Dateline NBC tonight, Chris Hansen interviewed one of the predators, of Indian descent, who thought he would be meeting a 13 year old girl.  I don't know their customs, but the man knew the age of the girl and was completely confident about the meeting.
 
April 5, 2007, 11:55 pm CDT

Totally agree

Quote From: kelly52562

 I can't even tell you how immature, and pathetic the first couple (he's 40, she's 18).  His poor wife must be turning over in her grave.  I noted that the "little girl"  forbids even 1 picture of his dead wife in his home, but she was sure as hell more that willing to take her car.  Oh, but she doesn't want his money.  Again, just another way that she is so immature, she is jelous of a DEAD woman.  How is she going to act when a woman who is "alive and sexy" comes up to him to have some plastic surgery done? How outrageous is that !!!  I am just sicked by the both of them. 

 

Mike was right when he called the girl "a spoiled brat," and Sanjay is clearly the one who made her that way.  Loved the comment that she wasn't willing to have the deceased wife's photos or belongings around, but she was perfectly happy to take her car.   My immediate reaction to this segment was that if I was contemplating plastic surgery and had considered Dr. Sanjay . . . I would run a mile in the opposite direction.  It's one thing to feel you're putting your doctor or dentist's children through college by paying their exhorbitant fees, but to know that your hard earned money is pampering and indulging a whiny 18-year old is totally sickening.  

 
April 6, 2007, 6:47 pm CDT

03/29 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Quote From: uksheila3

 

Mike was right when he called the girl "a spoiled brat," and Sanjay is clearly the one who made her that way.  Loved the comment that she wasn't willing to have the deceased wife's photos or belongings around, but she was perfectly happy to take her car.   My immediate reaction to this segment was that if I was contemplating plastic surgery and had considered Dr. Sanjay . . . I would run a mile in the opposite direction.  It's one thing to feel you're putting your doctor or dentist's children through college by paying their exhorbitant fees, but to know that your hard earned money is pampering and indulging a whiny 18-year old is totally sickening.  

So you look into the lifestyle of your Dr's before using them? Make sure they are spending their money how you see fit? LOL
 
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