Quote From: des423I can speak from personal experience, it doesn't really work.
I am 52 have been living with a younger man, 25. This relationship came on the heels of the death of my beloved husband. I think when the relationship started it was an ego-boost for me as it made me feel I still had something to offer, was still attractive and desirable. I was welcomed into his family as he was welcomed into mine. We held family outings, celebrations at our home, we frequented nightclubs we led a normal lifestyle. There were always the uncomfortable moments when I was told what a handsome son I had, we dealt with them. I was always concerned about my appearance as I felt younger than I was but I was older and it was apparent to everyone but us and it did cause me to be embarrassed on many occasions.
I was in love with this man, he was very convincing that he was in love with me and we had many future plans. However,after 4 years he did leave me and he left me in debt, alone to deal with it. I do assume the responsibility of making poor decisions, of trying to keep him happy, trying to make up for the age difference by giving him everything, an education, clothing, vehicle, and unconditional love. I felt he was what I needed to keep me alive after my husbands death, he was my freedom from the grief and pain, he was my life line. He is now my doom as i am once again mourning the loss of love, of dignity, and I am consummed with profound shame for my actions. I live in a small town, I was warned about this family but I ignored the advice, scam artists are everywhere. I learned that a younger man loves an older woman for what she has to offer, not for who she is and or the life they might share together.
My shame is monumental, my heart is dead and my future is bleak. This relationship has not been worth the cost and I am filled with remorse. If I survive this I will emerge stronger and hopefully smarter, however I don't want to survive it, I am weakened by all the emotional and financial worries and I cannot see a future.
This younger man loved me while I could provide, when he could see the money was running out, he did the same.
I am and was that "old fool" you hear so much about.
I am 37 and still have my beloved husband of 16 years. You lost yours. I'm sorry you were so young when you lost him. You must have been devastated. I have suffered unexpected loss so I do understand somewhat. Not my husband though. In your shoes, I could see myself doing the same as you. Your 25 yr old filled a void for you and that was what you needed during these last four years. Please don't rob yourself of the good memories. I don't think it was all a scam on his part. Four years is a long time to spend with someone - I KNOW he did care for you and loved you. Something changed and he had to leave - it happens to people all the time - 50% divorce rate isn't it? Please don't feel shame. Why should you? This is your life and your business. I also live in a small town so I understand they dynamics of feeling like everyone knows and of course they warned you so.. Who really cares? You are a beautiful woman and you must be something else if you were able to get a young man like that and then you actually had him for four years. The warnings were probably rooted in jealousy, as usual in the female world. I recently began working again part-time - something to do - my kids are teenagers, etc. Well I am being hit on and flirted with very much so... by a 21 yr old and a 20 yr old. That's a 17 year age difference - at first i was totally creeped out - my daughter is almost 16... Eek.. but now I have relaxed and I must say I am truly enjoying it. These two have an energy and sex appeal (and all the young girls like them) and it is extremely flattering to this 5'6" 180 lb. curvaeous (always thought fat haha) woman. I understand why it would be appealing to you and especially after losing your husband. So.... you will survive, although it may not feel like it right now. YOU WILL. And women like me will be rooting for you because you have inspired me. Truly. I have shared in your lesson - if my husband should pass away, and I should meet someone, enjoy each moment as it happens but do not go into debt. You made a big impact on his life - education, vehicle, love, etc. and that's a wonderful thing to do. Its unfortunate that you acquired debt but I am sure that you will be able to recover - its only money. Now take care of you... find out all about yourself and learn to love yourself again - there should never be shame in life - every decision is the right one at the time we make it - its only the benefit of hindsight that allows us to critique each one. Don't do that to yourself - pick yourself up and try again - you have a lot to offer this world. Please don't waste your time here on negative energy. You are not an old fool. xoxox Nancy
(Original Air Date: 11/08/06) When it comes to dating, they say age is just a number. But what happens when the man is more than two decades older than his girlfriend, or the woman is 15 years older than her young lover? Forty-year-old Sanjay is a wealthy cosmetic surgeon who met 18-year-old Jacqueline on the Web site SugarDaddie.com. They’ve only been together four months but are already talking marriage. Sanjay’s friend, Mike, is convinced that Jacqueline will put him right in the poorhouse! Is there a chance that Sanjay has found true love, or is Jacqueline just in it for the money? Then, 24-year-old Ryan is engaged to Angela, a woman 15 years his senior. Ryan’s friend, Donovan, fears that Angela is alienating Ryan from his buddies. Will Ryan have to choose between his college friends and his soon-to-be wife? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
