Message Boards

Topic : 03/29 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Number of Replies: 1371
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, November 03, 2006, 01:01:10 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/08/06) When it comes to dating, they say age is just a number. But what happens when the man is more than two decades older than his girlfriend, or the woman is 15 years older than her young lover? Forty-year-old Sanjay is a wealthy cosmetic surgeon who met 18-year-old Jacqueline on the Web site SugarDaddie.com. They’ve only been together four months but are already talking marriage. Sanjay’s friend, Mike, is convinced that Jacqueline will put him right in the poorhouse! Is there a chance that Sanjay has found true love, or is Jacqueline just in it for the money? Then, 24-year-old Ryan is engaged to Angela, a woman 15 years his senior. Ryan’s friend, Donovan, fears that Angela is alienating Ryan from his buddies. Will Ryan have to choose between his college friends and his soon-to-be wife? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More March 2007 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

November 6, 2006, 10:47 pm CST

11/08 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Quote From: skbruning

The website they met on says it all:  SUGARDADDIESDOTCOM

 

How about..................rapistsdotcom?  MoronsINC??  Slutsanonymous???  Stupidville?

 

Come on....this is "making like a harlot" by any other name.  Shame on both of them.

 

Creeps me out, as Dr. Phil would and should say!

If they are all of age, who cares. I don't think that anyone reason for a relationship is better than another.

If one party has money and wants to "buy" a younger person as a mate with it...so be it.

Like Anna Nicole, her husband wanted to spend his last days in the company of a hot babe, he earned that money and that's what he wanted to do with it.

Anna Nicole wanted money, she wanted to buy things and she found a man who provided that.

Is that the kind of relationship I want to be in? HELL NO, but it's none of my business and it's silly to judge it, because yours or my reason for a relationship isn't superior to this reason.
 
November 6, 2006, 11:57 pm CST

People are missing the point

Uh, didn't someone say Sanjay met her on "sugarDaddies.com"?  Now, obviously he knows what a sugar daddy is, and feels he's selling himself on providing material goodies to a bimbo, or naive little person who wants to concentrate on things and money rather than character and heart and mutual interests, so he's not getting taken here... he's (the sugar daddy) offering his money and goodies... As far as her "cougar" status, she may be superficial and shallow, and wanting a materialistic life style, but he's offering it on a plate, and in exchange, he wants a hot little babe (for sex or whatever) and is offering to pay for it... and apparently she's willing to offer it... he gets what he wants, she gets what she wants...but it's a mutually contractual arrangement, and both of them know what they're getting into... nobody has a right to call "foul" here!

 

Actually, at 18 most females are still late adolescents, and hardly women... she may be physically mature, but at age 17, one year prior, she was just considered a teenager... Like, child?  Personally, I think she's the one being taken advantage of, she's hardly out of high school, and maybe still in it!  Is this person able to make an informed decision on what's a psychologically sound, perhaps life changing or potentially harmful set of circumstances for herself? Uh, I don't think so!  Actually, I think the guy ought to be ashamed! Is morality dead?

 

So, the "sugar daddy" pays for sex in gifts and favors... isn't that a bit like legalized prostitution...?  And if he just discards her and throws her away when he gets tired of her, and the novelty is over, he can recoup much better than she... who at 18 is probably much more impressionable and easily hurt... (am I crediting these people with too much sensitivity?)  The possibility of feeling used here, on both sides, but especially in her case, is very large!

 

Bottom line:  If it had been my daughter at 18, she'd have been grounded for a year!  Where are her parents? 

 

I think Sanjay is just what someone might call "a dirty old man"!  A voyeur and a guy looking for titillation and novelty rather than sensibility and solidity... Too many games in life for me!  Hugs, Trina M.

 
November 7, 2006, 2:23 am CST

This is Jacqueline and Sanjay speaking...

Thank you to the people who understand our relationship and accept that we're in love regardless of age difference.

It's been 7 months since Sanjay and I first began dating and we are more in love than ever before! Our relationship continuously improves and is always exceedingly golden. This love cannot be broke. It is a choice that one makes. We choose each other. It is clear we have many options. Still, we choose each other- that is the real beauty. Sanjay is accomplished and accomlishing. Jacqueline has accomplished and is accomplishing. We are both successful, proactive, and positive. We both have loving natures. We have young hearts and old souls. We connect on levels many people do and do not. We are interdependent. Imagination has no age, laughter is timeless, and dreams are forever.

 
November 7, 2006, 5:16 am CST

Grey's Anatomy actor

Saw a tabloid at checkout line.  The actor on that show and I can't remember his name but he's a main character married an older woman when he was like 21.  If I remember she was 47.  He later divorced her.  He is still good looking and has moved on to someone younger and closer to his age and she is now really showing her age at close to 70.  I think the older woman needs to realized that she is eventually going to get dumped when she starts showing her age.   The man is still young and vibrant and she is sagging everywhere.  No so much with the older man and younger woman.  Not really fair but that's how it is.
 
November 7, 2006, 8:52 am CST

So tell me

Quote From: craftluv45

Uh, didn't someone say Sanjay met her on "sugarDaddies.com"?  Now, obviously he knows what a sugar daddy is, and feels he's selling himself on providing material goodies to a bimbo, or naive little person who wants to concentrate on things and money rather than character and heart and mutual interests, so he's not getting taken here... he's (the sugar daddy) offering his money and goodies... As far as her "cougar" status, she may be superficial and shallow, and wanting a materialistic life style, but he's offering it on a plate, and in exchange, he wants a hot little babe (for sex or whatever) and is offering to pay for it... and apparently she's willing to offer it... he gets what he wants, she gets what she wants...but it's a mutually contractual arrangement, and both of them know what they're getting into... nobody has a right to call "foul" here!

 

Actually, at 18 most females are still late adolescents, and hardly women... she may be physically mature, but at age 17, one year prior, she was just considered a teenager... Like, child?  Personally, I think she's the one being taken advantage of, she's hardly out of high school, and maybe still in it!  Is this person able to make an informed decision on what's a psychologically sound, perhaps life changing or potentially harmful set of circumstances for herself? Uh, I don't think so!  Actually, I think the guy ought to be ashamed! Is morality dead?

 

So, the "sugar daddy" pays for sex in gifts and favors... isn't that a bit like legalized prostitution...?  And if he just discards her and throws her away when he gets tired of her, and the novelty is over, he can recoup much better than she... who at 18 is probably much more impressionable and easily hurt... (am I crediting these people with too much sensitivity?)  The possibility of feeling used here, on both sides, but especially in her case, is very large!

 

Bottom line:  If it had been my daughter at 18, she'd have been grounded for a year!  Where are her parents? 

 

I think Sanjay is just what someone might call "a dirty old man"!  A voyeur and a guy looking for titillation and novelty rather than sensibility and solidity... Too many games in life for me!  Hugs, Trina M.

How do you go about grounding an 18 year old. Most states consider 18 year olds adults. Her parents are probably hoping that this relationship ends, but they really can't do much, other than try to reason with her, and hope that she listens. But grounding her, get real! So many people like to say what they would do in a situation, but truth is you don't know until you are actually faced with it.
 
November 7, 2006, 9:47 am CST

younger men/ older womer

 There is 19 years difference between my husband and my self. I am the older one in this marriage. As of  Nov.25th we will have been married 18years. I truly belive this type of relationship works if both people want it and like any marriage you must work at it. Certainly ther are differences but thats  what make it interesting and keeps it going. Maybe we need to not worry so much about other people and worry more about our own lives.
 
November 7, 2006, 11:21 am CST

Older women Younger men

Don’t confuse youth with immaturity, beauty or the number on your drivers license. I believe age is just a number and it is how you feel about love and life that makes you young.

I am an older woman who is married to a younger man. He is 13 years younger then I am and it is the first marriage for both of us. We have been married happily for five years.  I find it ridiculous that people still believe that because a woman is older then a man in a relationship that is doomed to fail. Love is about what is on the inside not the outside. My husband and I share many common interests and together we have discovered new things about each other and many new interests. There were hurtles to overcome when we first started dating, but they only made us more sure of what we wanted from our relationship. You never know where you are going to find happiness and it should not be spoiled by people that are too cynical to see how happy you really are with your partner no matter what the age difference.  

 
November 7, 2006, 1:53 pm CST

Age Differences in People

I myself was married to a man 17 years my senior.  When we married, I was 22 and he was 40. We were  married for 8 years before divorcing; we had one child together.  Even with the big age difference, he still enjoyed the things I did and he was definitely able to keep up with me.  He was full of energy and we had lots of good times together going places and doing various activities together.  Ever since a child, I was always attracted to older men because they made me feel like a real woman and they showed me appreciation and attention.  Now, if the age difference is 25 years or more (like Demme More and Kirsten Ashton) then I would say that either the man or woman whomever is the younger, is looking for a mother or father image, but again, I know people who have that difference and the marriage is lasting beautifully, so this is a difficult call.

 
November 7, 2006, 2:38 pm CST

My eye must of went cross, lol.

Quote From: truval

If you read the quote correctly you will see its a 24yr old engaged to a women 15yrs his senior. Come on people read!!!!!
No need to be so rude though.
 
November 7, 2006, 2:46 pm CST

Got it & know that.

Quote From: julie1418

It says she is 15 years his senior....which means she is 39.
My eyes must have gone cross on me or something when I first read it.
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Next | Last