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Topic : 03/29 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Number of Replies: 1371
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Created on : Friday, November 03, 2006, 01:01:10 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/08/06) When it comes to dating, they say age is just a number. But what happens when the man is more than two decades older than his girlfriend, or the woman is 15 years older than her young lover? Forty-year-old Sanjay is a wealthy cosmetic surgeon who met 18-year-old Jacqueline on the Web site SugarDaddie.com. They’ve only been together four months but are already talking marriage. Sanjay’s friend, Mike, is convinced that Jacqueline will put him right in the poorhouse! Is there a chance that Sanjay has found true love, or is Jacqueline just in it for the money? Then, 24-year-old Ryan is engaged to Angela, a woman 15 years his senior. Ryan’s friend, Donovan, fears that Angela is alienating Ryan from his buddies. Will Ryan have to choose between his college friends and his soon-to-be wife? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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November 5, 2006, 11:04 am CST

A thought

My post is talking to anyone over the age of 18. 

 

If a 40 year old man wants to date an 18 year old why should that be anyone's business?  Maybe that 18 year old is at the same maturity level as that 40 year old.  One can't really say until they know each person individually.

 

I have a brother whose wife is 10 years younger than he, but emotionally they compliment each other.  Then I have another brother whose wife is 11 years older than he and they compliment each other.  This kind of topic should not be anyone's business but the people involved in the relationship. 

 

If the man logged onto sugardaddies.com then don't you think he was looking for someone to take care of, someone that would look good on his arm.  His motives are clear, but possibly in the midst of all of this he has found someone to love.  We all have our preferences when it comes to dating people, we like a certain physical attributes, personality traits, emotional connectedness and spiritual compatibility, so why is this any different?, it isn't!

 
November 5, 2006, 1:12 pm CST

11/08 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Quote From: jojobeaner

My post is talking to anyone over the age of 18. 

 

If a 40 year old man wants to date an 18 year old why should that be anyone's business?  Maybe that 18 year old is at the same maturity level as that 40 year old.  One can't really say until they know each person individually.

 

I have a brother whose wife is 10 years younger than he, but emotionally they compliment each other.  Then I have another brother whose wife is 11 years older than he and they compliment each other.  This kind of topic should not be anyone's business but the people involved in the relationship. 

 

If the man logged onto sugardaddies.com then don't you think he was looking for someone to take care of, someone that would look good on his arm.  His motives are clear, but possibly in the midst of all of this he has found someone to love.  We all have our preferences when it comes to dating people, we like a certain physical attributes, personality traits, emotional connectedness and spiritual compatibility, so why is this any different?, it isn't!

 Oh, I agree, my husband is older than me by 9 yrs.and we have a great deal in common. I just think if a man is 20yrs. older than his girlfriend/wife careful consideration should be taken w/the subject of kids.

For one thing, maybe the younger woman will want some and he won't and, if they both do,how  will that work as he gets older and she enters her prime. My mom ended up dragging me everywhere with her.

 
November 5, 2006, 10:10 pm CST

Good on em

Quote From: fyre98

She is fifteen years his senior meaning older than him.. I see no big deal..If these people are genuinely happy then more power to all of them!

I think good on anyone who dates/marries/lives with etc a person who is 10 or 20 years older then that person, I am currently 44 and my partner is 25, I am female, I have 2 kids who absolutely adore my partner, we have alot in common including music, he said "I can live again", this relationship keeps me young, and we do not look silly together all the family on both sides are fine with out relationship.My partner sometimes just wants to sit a home and watch tv, and I want to go out, so really it has to do alot with the people concerned.

 

 
November 5, 2006, 11:39 pm CST

EXCUSE ME!

The website they met on says it all:  SUGARDADDIESDOTCOM

 

How about..................rapistsdotcom?  MoronsINC??  Slutsanonymous???  Stupidville?

 

Come on....this is "making like a harlot" by any other name.  Shame on both of them.

 

Creeps me out, as Dr. Phil would and should say!

 
November 5, 2006, 11:43 pm CST

OR....

Quote From: faeryedark

 Oh, I agree, my husband is older than me by 9 yrs.and we have a great deal in common. I just think if a man is 20yrs. older than his girlfriend/wife careful consideration should be taken w/the subject of kids.

For one thing, maybe the younger woman will want some and he won't and, if they both do,how  will that work as he gets older and she enters her prime. My mom ended up dragging me everywhere with her.

....the 40 y.o. is AS IMMATURE as the 15 y.o.....or whatever age the little sugarplum is.

 

Good grief.

 

And yes, it is our business because society is affected by everything and everyone....we ARE our brother's keeper but dat do not mean "YOU is da boss of ME" sort of stuff.

 

If a predominant amount of 40 y.o. start dating a ton of 15 yr olds....how long does society turn a blind eye and say...."Nope, none of my business"?  We give our younger ones the idea that it is OK to trader their bodies for booty...or wouldn't that be booty for booty?  Something like that.

 

Creeps me out.

 
November 5, 2006, 11:46 pm CST

Jesus God....

Quote From: afraid

What women want is a younger man

January 12 2003


Statistics show that the sugar daddy's days are numbered, writes Christopher Bantick.

It could be an extension of girl power, or maybe young women are finally waking up to the fact that blokes over 40 don't cut the mustard in the stud stakes.

Whatever the reason, statistics show that women are increasingly pursuing younger partners.

Once it used to be a mark of a man's virility that he could still pull the younger birds in his 50s. But now women in their 30s, the 2001 census reveals, are discarding the wrinklies for sweet young things in their 20s. The numbers are still small, but the trend has begun.

In 1981, 3.7 per cent of women were partnered with men aged in their 20s. By 2001, this had risen to 4.7 per cent. It is not hard to understand why this should be so.

It is well known that older men who go for the Baywatch trophy partner largely do so for the sex. Even D.H. Lawrence cottoned on to this when he sagely noted that the "sex thing" was the chief factor in relationships with a big age gap. That was also a repeated finding in Sydney writer Jacquelynne Bailey's book Conversations in a Brothel: Why Men Do It. It's fair to ask why this shouldn't be the same for women.

But as much as the hope of sexual fulfilment might be the reason why women are increasingly looking for younger partners, there is a down side.

Older men - as women with younger partners will find out - have discovered that relationships with women who are decades their juniors are full of limitations. For better or worse, age can bring a certain richness. If it's not a one-night stand or a fling for a couple of weeks, any relationship where there is a significant age discrepancy is likely to fail beyond the bed.

Generation gaps are most evident in such things as shared books, films, political awareness and even history. This is the Educating Rita scenario: some men are prepared to "teach" their younger partners as long as there is a sexual pay-off at the end of the lesson.

Even so, many men are reluctant to leave partners of a similar age for their younger bit on the side. The reason is not just kids, either. When you haven't anything to talk about, then any relationship is doomed.

There is nothing more pathetic than an over-tanned Seniors Card-holder desperately trying to hide the flab beneath a flowing Hawaiian shirt, gold chains chinking in grizzled chest hair, as he holds hands with someone barely out of school.

Then there is the music.

If there is a one single example of generational incompatibility then it has to be music. Try putting on Phil Collins to set the mood with a 20-something of either sex. How very '80s. Today, its all silverchair, Shakira or Eminem. But do grandpa sugar daddies with delusions of being a chick magnet - and that's who we're talking about here - really listen to that?

If there is any doubt that men have at last had their fill of the Mick Jagger syndrome, where you measure your success by the notches on the bedpost, then the 2001 census confirms the obvious. Increasingly, men in their 40s and 50s are returning to women of their own age. In 1981, 58.1 per cent of men were with women of comparable age. Two decades later, that has increased to 64.3 per cent.

You can call it defeat at the hands of younger women shopping around for leaner meat, but the reality is that women are tired of sexual failures and want disposable partners who are not squinting into the glare of blue Viagra days.

What the census does show is that women in their 30s make the cut with younger partners. In 1981, 35.6 per cent of men in their 40s were partnering women in their 30s - last year the figure was down to 29 per cent.

Alas, women in their 40s are not doing too well at wooing younger men. The Mrs Robinson fantasy is just that, a figment of the imagination of all but a mere 0.6 per cent of women in their 40s. In 1981, this was 0.4 per cent.

This may well be a consequence of a career-filled life that has lacked lasting relationships. Then there is the common enough result of women and men in their 40s on the rebound from marriage break-ups looking for partners younger than themselves. Good for the ego if not for the long term.

But for many older men who have girded their creaking loins and played the field, the party's over. It's payback time and young men, well they may have never have had it so good.

Christopher Bantick is a Melbourne writer.

 I finally found someone who talks more than I do!

 

;O)

 
November 6, 2006, 4:28 am CST

Age doesn't matter.

Dr. Phil,

 

My husband and I have been married for two years. We have been  together for 14 years. I am 54 and he is 36. We are very much in love and are happily married. We both believe with all our hearts that God brought us together. We both come from very different backgrounds and never would have even met were it not for circumstances of the time. Yet, here we are still together and happier than ever. Age means nothing! It's what's inside that counts!!

 

Connie & John

 

 
November 6, 2006, 5:17 am CST

18 1/2 years

Quote From: faeryedark

 Oh, I agree, my husband is older than me by 9 yrs.and we have a great deal in common. I just think if a man is 20yrs. older than his girlfriend/wife careful consideration should be taken w/the subject of kids.

For one thing, maybe the younger woman will want some and he won't and, if they both do,how  will that work as he gets older and she enters her prime. My mom ended up dragging me everywhere with her.

My husband and I are almost 19 years apart in age, we together have 12 children, of which 7 are adopted. If people are happy, why should age matter? We have a lot in common, but we also find things that the almost 19 years does show through, but it is called compromise.. but isn't that what all marriages are is compromise? It is all in the individuals involved in the relationship, if you are truly in love the numbers will not come in the way. Yes it is something you need to think about prior to marriage, but if true love is there, then the age difference will not cause you too much hassle.
 
November 6, 2006, 5:22 am CST

Statistics

Quote From: afraid

What women want is a younger man

January 12 2003


Statistics show that the sugar daddy's days are numbered, writes Christopher Bantick.

It could be an extension of girl power, or maybe young women are finally waking up to the fact that blokes over 40 don't cut the mustard in the stud stakes.

Whatever the reason, statistics show that women are increasingly pursuing younger partners.

Once it used to be a mark of a man's virility that he could still pull the younger birds in his 50s. But now women in their 30s, the 2001 census reveals, are discarding the wrinklies for sweet young things in their 20s. The numbers are still small, but the trend has begun.

In 1981, 3.7 per cent of women were partnered with men aged in their 20s. By 2001, this had risen to 4.7 per cent. It is not hard to understand why this should be so.

It is well known that older men who go for the Baywatch trophy partner largely do so for the sex. Even D.H. Lawrence cottoned on to this when he sagely noted that the "sex thing" was the chief factor in relationships with a big age gap. That was also a repeated finding in Sydney writer Jacquelynne Bailey's book Conversations in a Brothel: Why Men Do It. It's fair to ask why this shouldn't be the same for women.

But as much as the hope of sexual fulfilment might be the reason why women are increasingly looking for younger partners, there is a down side.

Older men - as women with younger partners will find out - have discovered that relationships with women who are decades their juniors are full of limitations. For better or worse, age can bring a certain richness. If it's not a one-night stand or a fling for a couple of weeks, any relationship where there is a significant age discrepancy is likely to fail beyond the bed.

Generation gaps are most evident in such things as shared books, films, political awareness and even history. This is the Educating Rita scenario: some men are prepared to "teach" their younger partners as long as there is a sexual pay-off at the end of the lesson.

Even so, many men are reluctant to leave partners of a similar age for their younger bit on the side. The reason is not just kids, either. When you haven't anything to talk about, then any relationship is doomed.

There is nothing more pathetic than an over-tanned Seniors Card-holder desperately trying to hide the flab beneath a flowing Hawaiian shirt, gold chains chinking in grizzled chest hair, as he holds hands with someone barely out of school.

Then there is the music.

If there is a one single example of generational incompatibility then it has to be music. Try putting on Phil Collins to set the mood with a 20-something of either sex. How very '80s. Today, its all silverchair, Shakira or Eminem. But do grandpa sugar daddies with delusions of being a chick magnet - and that's who we're talking about here - really listen to that?

If there is any doubt that men have at last had their fill of the Mick Jagger syndrome, where you measure your success by the notches on the bedpost, then the 2001 census confirms the obvious. Increasingly, men in their 40s and 50s are returning to women of their own age. In 1981, 58.1 per cent of men were with women of comparable age. Two decades later, that has increased to 64.3 per cent.

You can call it defeat at the hands of younger women shopping around for leaner meat, but the reality is that women are tired of sexual failures and want disposable partners who are not squinting into the glare of blue Viagra days.

What the census does show is that women in their 30s make the cut with younger partners. In 1981, 35.6 per cent of men in their 40s were partnering women in their 30s - last year the figure was down to 29 per cent.

Alas, women in their 40s are not doing too well at wooing younger men. The Mrs Robinson fantasy is just that, a figment of the imagination of all but a mere 0.6 per cent of women in their 40s. In 1981, this was 0.4 per cent.

This may well be a consequence of a career-filled life that has lacked lasting relationships. Then there is the common enough result of women and men in their 40s on the rebound from marriage break-ups looking for partners younger than themselves. Good for the ego if not for the long term.

But for many older men who have girded their creaking loins and played the field, the party's over. It's payback time and young men, well they may have never have had it so good.

Christopher Bantick is a Melbourne writer.

But Christopher, who wants to fall prey to statistics. I know I for one do not follow statistics, if we all did what a boring world this would be. As for women choosing younger men, I think it all depends on the maturity level of the individuals involved. I sure would not want a guy almost nineteen years younger then I am, I do not want to raise another child I want a MAN, maybe that is why I married a MAN almost 19 years my senior. I guess statistics can only go by those individuals taking the surveys, maybe there are more out there that choose older men then you are aware of.
 
November 6, 2006, 5:31 am CST

11/08 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

My husband is 19 years 8 months and one day younger than I.  We have been married for 7 years.  It works for us.  The one thing I will say is this, that a younger mate does not have the life experience and I sometimes feel I have to explain things they should already know.  The upside?  Easier to train! ; ) Hehe!
 
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