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Topic : 03/29 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Number of Replies: 1371
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Created on : Friday, November 03, 2006, 01:01:10 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/08/06) When it comes to dating, they say age is just a number. But what happens when the man is more than two decades older than his girlfriend, or the woman is 15 years older than her young lover? Forty-year-old Sanjay is a wealthy cosmetic surgeon who met 18-year-old Jacqueline on the Web site SugarDaddie.com. They’ve only been together four months but are already talking marriage. Sanjay’s friend, Mike, is convinced that Jacqueline will put him right in the poorhouse! Is there a chance that Sanjay has found true love, or is Jacqueline just in it for the money? Then, 24-year-old Ryan is engaged to Angela, a woman 15 years his senior. Ryan’s friend, Donovan, fears that Angela is alienating Ryan from his buddies. Will Ryan have to choose between his college friends and his soon-to-be wife? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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November 6, 2006, 5:44 am CST

Im Happy

I'm a 31 year old woman dating a 23 year old man.   We have been together for 7 months now and have lots in common.  Music, movie..etc.  Its the personality  not the age that defines what you prefer in regards to stuff like that.  I dont know why or how but things work out extremely well.  We talk about how lucky we were to find each other and have no cares to the opinions of anyone with negative feelings about our relationship. 
 
November 6, 2006, 6:55 am CST

Age difference

Quote From: fyre98

She is fifteen years his senior meaning older than him.. I see no big deal..If these people are genuinely happy then more power to all of them!
I am 39 and my husband is 66. We are getting ready to celebrate our 5th anniversary on Dec. 31st. We are very happy. We have faith in God. It was very difficult at first because he has children around my age, but now everyone seems to have accepted me. I do not feel this is for everyone and there are some women out for the money. My husband does own a business, but we also have a prenup. He has changed the prenup in the last 2 years. I still don't get any part of the business, but I don't feel I deserve it. Our marriage is about love and knowing we are going to be there for each other. My husband was diagnosed with cancer almost 2 years ago and I am here for him. I believe God did bring us together. We did meet at church. I believe you do have to be careful & not be fooled. There are golddiggers out there. Get to know the person before getting married.
 
November 6, 2006, 7:14 am CST

Age is just a number

I was 27 years old when I met my husband who was 53. There was a 27 year age difference, but the only difference was the number in our age. We had a lot in common. I was a very independent woman and he was not a sugar daddy. He was just a very nice, down to earth, loving, caring person. He loved to make me laugh. He was very easy going, just like me. I would call him my wife. He cooked, cleaned, took care of our daughter while I went to work. I was very blessed to have him in my life. I was with him for 15 years when he passed on. But I am truly grateful that I met such a wonderful man and had such good years with him. Not many people can say that these days. I became a widow at age 42. I met another wonderful man seven months later, not even expecting it. He is 3 1/2 years older than me. I am now 46 and this man now lives with me and my daughter. I am truly blessed and thank God everyday for all the wonderful gifts I have received.
 
November 6, 2006, 7:15 am CST

Old vs Young

I can speak from personal experience, it doesn't really work.

I am 52 have been living with a younger man, 25. This relationship came on the heels of the death of my beloved husband. I think when the relationship started it was an ego-boost for me as it made me feel I still had something to offer, was still attractive and desirable. I was welcomed into his family as he was welcomed into mine. We held family outings, celebrations at our home, we frequented nightclubs we led a normal lifestyle. There were always the uncomfortable moments when I was told what a handsome son I had, we dealt with them. I was always concerned about my appearance as I felt younger than I was but I was older and it was apparent to everyone but us and it did cause me to be embarrassed on many occasions.

I was in love with this man, he was very convincing that he was in love with me and we had many future plans. However,after 4 years  he did leave me and he left me in debt, alone to deal with it. I do assume the responsibility of making poor decisions, of trying to keep him happy, trying to make up for the age difference by giving him everything, an education, clothing, vehicle, and unconditional love. I felt he was what I needed to keep me alive after my husbands death, he was my freedom from the grief and pain, he was my life line. He is now my doom as i am once again mourning the loss of love, of dignity, and I am consummed with profound shame for my actions. I live in a small town, I was warned about this family but I ignored the advice, scam artists are everywhere. I learned that a younger man loves an older woman for what she has to offer, not for who she is and or the life they might share together.

My shame is monumental, my heart is dead and my future is bleak. This relationship has not been worth the cost and I am filled with remorse. If I survive this I will emerge stronger and hopefully smarter, however I don't want to survive it, I am weakened by all the emotional and financial worries and I cannot see a future.

This younger man loved me while I could provide, when he could see the money was running out, he did the same.

I am and was that "old fool" you hear so much about.

 
November 6, 2006, 7:31 am CST

Amazing

I find it interesting that this is still such a hot button topic.

15 years ago I met and married my second husband.  He was 23, I was 38.  November 21 will be our 15th year of wedded bliss.

I never thought of myself as a cougar.  Just someone in love. Still.
 
November 6, 2006, 7:40 am CST

11/08 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Quote From: cjbjlb

Dr. Phil,

 

My husband and I have been married for two years. We have been  together for 14 years. I am 54 and he is 36. We are very much in love and are happily married. We both believe with all our hearts that God brought us together. We both come from very different backgrounds and never would have even met were it not for circumstances of the time. Yet, here we are still together and happier than ever. Age means nothing! It's what's inside that counts!!

 

Connie & John

 

Dear Phil

 

I had one marriage with a man 13 years younger than me that lasted 19 years, until he came out of  the closet as a Homosexual. He only wanted security and 2 children by me. I now have been married 27 years to a man just slightly older than the last husband, so there is again, almost 13 years difference.

 

Trust me, I never chased nor had to chase younger men, they sought me out, always. I went to my Junior and Senior Proms with Freshmen, by choice......in 1940, as I will soon turn 83 years of age on January 19th, 2007.

 

My marriage now, has rocky moments but not because of our ages, we have been  totally  faithful to each other, which means a lot to both of us. His marriage broke up over his wife at the time coming out of the closet as a Lesbian. Neither of us were made aware of the this happening to both of us, when we met and fell in love, tho as it came out later in conversations. 

 

I have a greater problem on my conscience however. I have two Homosexual members of the family born to both my first husband of 13 years and the second marriage of 19 years??? So I am the common person in that, right???

 

BJ

 

 
November 6, 2006, 7:43 am CST

Sick!

Sanjay and Jacquline should be ashamed of themselves.  Their "relationship" is sickening.  Sanjay thinks he's scored big-time....and so does Jacquline.  He hets a bimbo trophy to show off and she gets cars and money and all the material things she wants.  She sounds like a brat who was spoiled by her parents and she seems to have a "daddy complex."  She's looking for the love and attention that maybe her own father didn't give her.  This relationship won't last.  Trust me....a younger companion usually turns out to be too much for the older companion!

 
November 6, 2006, 7:54 am CST

Read it again

Quote From: powaygrl

why would a 24 year old want to get engaged to a 15 year old? that's just wrong
 The 24-year old isn't marrying a 15-year old, he's marrying a woman 15 years older than him.  I hope that clears that up for you.  However, I agree with your statement that a 24-year old wanting to marry a 15-year old is wrong!  :)
 
November 6, 2006, 8:21 am CST

11/08 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Quote From: des423

I can speak from personal experience, it doesn't really work.

I am 52 have been living with a younger man, 25. This relationship came on the heels of the death of my beloved husband. I think when the relationship started it was an ego-boost for me as it made me feel I still had something to offer, was still attractive and desirable. I was welcomed into his family as he was welcomed into mine. We held family outings, celebrations at our home, we frequented nightclubs we led a normal lifestyle. There were always the uncomfortable moments when I was told what a handsome son I had, we dealt with them. I was always concerned about my appearance as I felt younger than I was but I was older and it was apparent to everyone but us and it did cause me to be embarrassed on many occasions.

I was in love with this man, he was very convincing that he was in love with me and we had many future plans. However,after 4 years  he did leave me and he left me in debt, alone to deal with it. I do assume the responsibility of making poor decisions, of trying to keep him happy, trying to make up for the age difference by giving him everything, an education, clothing, vehicle, and unconditional love. I felt he was what I needed to keep me alive after my husbands death, he was my freedom from the grief and pain, he was my life line. He is now my doom as i am once again mourning the loss of love, of dignity, and I am consummed with profound shame for my actions. I live in a small town, I was warned about this family but I ignored the advice, scam artists are everywhere. I learned that a younger man loves an older woman for what she has to offer, not for who she is and or the life they might share together.

My shame is monumental, my heart is dead and my future is bleak. This relationship has not been worth the cost and I am filled with remorse. If I survive this I will emerge stronger and hopefully smarter, however I don't want to survive it, I am weakened by all the emotional and financial worries and I cannot see a future.

This younger man loved me while I could provide, when he could see the money was running out, he did the same.

I am and was that "old fool" you hear so much about.

I too live with a  younger man  who is 33 and I 55. We have been together 2 years. no children. Both of us have never wanted them.  Not all 33 year olds are the same.  He is not like your typical 30 something male..Our attraction is predominately about our shared sense of humor. Sex is about  # 4 on our list for  why we enjoy  being together. We have had our differences for sure just like any couple who are the same age.  There is a great website with hundreds of age gap couples to relate to  with real success stories. www.agelesslove.com
 
November 6, 2006, 8:22 am CST

11/08 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Quote From: afraid

What women want is a younger man

January 12 2003


Statistics show that the sugar daddy's days are numbered, writes Christopher Bantick.

It could be an extension of girl power, or maybe young women are finally waking up to the fact that blokes over 40 don't cut the mustard in the stud stakes.

Whatever the reason, statistics show that women are increasingly pursuing younger partners.

Once it used to be a mark of a man's virility that he could still pull the younger birds in his 50s. But now women in their 30s, the 2001 census reveals, are discarding the wrinklies for sweet young things in their 20s. The numbers are still small, but the trend has begun.

In 1981, 3.7 per cent of women were partnered with men aged in their 20s. By 2001, this had risen to 4.7 per cent. It is not hard to understand why this should be so.

It is well known that older men who go for the Baywatch trophy partner largely do so for the sex. Even D.H. Lawrence cottoned on to this when he sagely noted that the "sex thing" was the chief factor in relationships with a big age gap. That was also a repeated finding in Sydney writer Jacquelynne Bailey's book Conversations in a Brothel: Why Men Do It. It's fair to ask why this shouldn't be the same for women.

But as much as the hope of sexual fulfilment might be the reason why women are increasingly looking for younger partners, there is a down side.

Older men - as women with younger partners will find out - have discovered that relationships with women who are decades their juniors are full of limitations. For better or worse, age can bring a certain richness. If it's not a one-night stand or a fling for a couple of weeks, any relationship where there is a significant age discrepancy is likely to fail beyond the bed.

Generation gaps are most evident in such things as shared books, films, political awareness and even history. This is the Educating Rita scenario: some men are prepared to "teach" their younger partners as long as there is a sexual pay-off at the end of the lesson.

Even so, many men are reluctant to leave partners of a similar age for their younger bit on the side. The reason is not just kids, either. When you haven't anything to talk about, then any relationship is doomed.

There is nothing more pathetic than an over-tanned Seniors Card-holder desperately trying to hide the flab beneath a flowing Hawaiian shirt, gold chains chinking in grizzled chest hair, as he holds hands with someone barely out of school.

Then there is the music.

If there is a one single example of generational incompatibility then it has to be music. Try putting on Phil Collins to set the mood with a 20-something of either sex. How very '80s. Today, its all silverchair, Shakira or Eminem. But do grandpa sugar daddies with delusions of being a chick magnet - and that's who we're talking about here - really listen to that?

If there is any doubt that men have at last had their fill of the Mick Jagger syndrome, where you measure your success by the notches on the bedpost, then the 2001 census confirms the obvious. Increasingly, men in their 40s and 50s are returning to women of their own age. In 1981, 58.1 per cent of men were with women of comparable age. Two decades later, that has increased to 64.3 per cent.

You can call it defeat at the hands of younger women shopping around for leaner meat, but the reality is that women are tired of sexual failures and want disposable partners who are not squinting into the glare of blue Viagra days.

What the census does show is that women in their 30s make the cut with younger partners. In 1981, 35.6 per cent of men in their 40s were partnering women in their 30s - last year the figure was down to 29 per cent.

Alas, women in their 40s are not doing too well at wooing younger men. The Mrs Robinson fantasy is just that, a figment of the imagination of all but a mere 0.6 per cent of women in their 40s. In 1981, this was 0.4 per cent.

This may well be a consequence of a career-filled life that has lacked lasting relationships. Then there is the common enough result of women and men in their 40s on the rebound from marriage break-ups looking for partners younger than themselves. Good for the ego if not for the long term.

But for many older men who have girded their creaking loins and played the field, the party's over. It's payback time and young men, well they may have never have had it so good.

Christopher Bantick is a Melbourne writer.

 

To me this is all a big joke , if two people are in love and want to be married , more power to them . If there is an age gap it depends on the age of the youngest person , meaning if a pereson is 18 and wants to get married to a 50 yr old man , there is a reason other then love , perhaps (hint) money? Besides when he turns 70 and she is 38 , Im sure she will be jumping for joy as she visits him in perhaps a nurseing home . Come on people.

I do feel it is appropiate for a person in their 40's or 50's to find an older partner , as this age person has atleast live some life and knows it isnt all games .

Alot of good marriages fall apart because of """the younger women""" it is a very sad thing to happen but I have to chuckle to myself when "THE MAN" gets dumped by "The younger women" for reasons he just cant figure out lol.

Helllllllllllllllllllooooooooo the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence until you get there.

I just love to see that smile on the exwife's face when her ex husband comes crying home to momma, Grow up

this for either sex not just older men and younger women

thought for the day guys """remember 20 can go into 60 more times then 60 into 20 lol

Have a good day ya'll

Sandy S

 
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