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Topic : 03/29 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

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Created on : Friday, November 03, 2006, 01:01:10 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/08/06) When it comes to dating, they say age is just a number. But what happens when the man is more than two decades older than his girlfriend, or the woman is 15 years older than her young lover? Forty-year-old Sanjay is a wealthy cosmetic surgeon who met 18-year-old Jacqueline on the Web site SugarDaddie.com. They’ve only been together four months but are already talking marriage. Sanjay’s friend, Mike, is convinced that Jacqueline will put him right in the poorhouse! Is there a chance that Sanjay has found true love, or is Jacqueline just in it for the money? Then, 24-year-old Ryan is engaged to Angela, a woman 15 years his senior. Ryan’s friend, Donovan, fears that Angela is alienating Ryan from his buddies. Will Ryan have to choose between his college friends and his soon-to-be wife? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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November 6, 2006, 12:24 pm CST

One day at a time

Quote From: des423

I can speak from personal experience, it doesn't really work.

I am 52 have been living with a younger man, 25. This relationship came on the heels of the death of my beloved husband. I think when the relationship started it was an ego-boost for me as it made me feel I still had something to offer, was still attractive and desirable. I was welcomed into his family as he was welcomed into mine. We held family outings, celebrations at our home, we frequented nightclubs we led a normal lifestyle. There were always the uncomfortable moments when I was told what a handsome son I had, we dealt with them. I was always concerned about my appearance as I felt younger than I was but I was older and it was apparent to everyone but us and it did cause me to be embarrassed on many occasions.

I was in love with this man, he was very convincing that he was in love with me and we had many future plans. However,after 4 years  he did leave me and he left me in debt, alone to deal with it. I do assume the responsibility of making poor decisions, of trying to keep him happy, trying to make up for the age difference by giving him everything, an education, clothing, vehicle, and unconditional love. I felt he was what I needed to keep me alive after my husbands death, he was my freedom from the grief and pain, he was my life line. He is now my doom as i am once again mourning the loss of love, of dignity, and I am consummed with profound shame for my actions. I live in a small town, I was warned about this family but I ignored the advice, scam artists are everywhere. I learned that a younger man loves an older woman for what she has to offer, not for who she is and or the life they might share together.

My shame is monumental, my heart is dead and my future is bleak. This relationship has not been worth the cost and I am filled with remorse. If I survive this I will emerge stronger and hopefully smarter, however I don't want to survive it, I am weakened by all the emotional and financial worries and I cannot see a future.

This younger man loved me while I could provide, when he could see the money was running out, he did the same.

I am and was that "old fool" you hear so much about.

We are all given one day at a time to live our lives, what has happened in the past is meant to help refine us and make us better people.  You learned from your mistakes and losses that is good.  I know that doesn't make you feel any better and it won't for a long time.  But you sound like a beautiful person inside and out and there are still good things for you to do and for you.  Hang in there

 

 
November 6, 2006, 12:25 pm CST

11/08 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Quote From: sandrap1947

 

To me this is all a big joke , if two people are in love and want to be married , more power to them . If there is an age gap it depends on the age of the youngest person , meaning if a pereson is 18 and wants to get married to a 50 yr old man , there is a reason other then love , perhaps (hint) money? Besides when he turns 70 and she is 38 , Im sure she will be jumping for joy as she visits him in perhaps a nurseing home . Come on people.

I do feel it is appropiate for a person in their 40's or 50's to find an older partner , as this age person has atleast live some life and knows it isnt all games .

Alot of good marriages fall apart because of """the younger women""" it is a very sad thing to happen but I have to chuckle to myself when "THE MAN" gets dumped by "The younger women" for reasons he just cant figure out lol.

Helllllllllllllllllllooooooooo the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence until you get there.

I just love to see that smile on the exwife's face when her ex husband comes crying home to momma, Grow up

this for either sex not just older men and younger women

thought for the day guys """remember 20 can go into 60 more times then 60 into 20 lol

Have a good day ya'll

Sandy S

LOL this is good Sandy!!!  Thanks.
 
November 6, 2006, 1:16 pm CST

Everthing is possible

I am going to turn 29 this December and my husband is turning 27 in April.  He is my second husband my first died 11 years ago.  Yes I dated other men my age before marrying my husband.  But you know what the other men did not work, did not have a stability, did not want my children around, where immature or they wanted to be together with me but yet have other relationships on the side.  I wanted someone who would respect me and love me.  I don't have any money and didn't have any money when we met.  We are building our nest egg together for the future.  We also have an understanding that if someone else comes along for him later in life the only thing I ask of him is to let me know.  I would prefer to part friends than to part enemies.  I love my husband he is a good-hearted, hard-working man.  We help each other with everything and we have a good relationship.  My children two of which are older than my husband all get along with my husband pretty well. My grandson prefers to see and talk with my husband than with me or his father.  I think when you are in love age really doesn't matter.  When it comes to the heart there are no numbers or age differences. 
 
November 6, 2006, 1:40 pm CST

11/08 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Age differences in a relationship don't have to have a negative effect on the parties concerned.   It would depend on the maturity of the people involved and their life experiences.   I don't include teenagers, but I was very mature for my age in my early 20's and at age 26 married a man who was 42.  We've been married for over 27 years now.   I don't know how a couple handles it when the woman is older than the man without some problems cropping up.   In our society, people aren't very kind to aging women with younger men.   It's not fair but, it is how things are right now most of the time.

 
November 6, 2006, 2:39 pm CST

'... they say age is just a number ...'

I wonder who the 'they' is in this statement?  My husband went off with a girl at least 20 years his junior.  She thinks he's wealthy.  He does have a high profile job, and I think money and position were very attractive to this young lady.  My husband and his friends all seemed to have younger girlfriends lurking in the background, and he used to go away on 'business trips' to South East Asia, and I learned that he was taking her away on expensive holidays and spending big money on her.  When I found out what was going on, I walked away with our two sons.  I couldn't believe that, when I told my ex-husband I was filing for divorce, he actually had tears in his eyes.  I think, but I'm not sure, that he and she have a fairly volatile relationship and I don't think that she likes him being around our boys very much.  I pity her because if you want to mess about with a married man you have to accept what comes with that situation.  I don't really think that 'age is just a number' - I think a lot of younger women, at least in Australia, who hook up with older men are interested only in dollars and assets and prestige.  I think that the person in this forum who said that these types of relationships are based on a sexual exchange is correct.  Good luck to those who engage in these types of relationships, I say, and even if I sound resentful, I have to say that I pity these couples because their situations sound really empty to me. 

 
November 6, 2006, 3:19 pm CST

happy younger husband

Quote From: reneelynn

Age differences in a relationship don't have to have a negative effect on the parties concerned.   It would depend on the maturity of the people involved and their life experiences.   I don't include teenagers, but I was very mature for my age in my early 20's and at age 26 married a man who was 42.  We've been married for over 27 years now.   I don't know how a couple handles it when the woman is older than the man without some problems cropping up.   In our society, people aren't very kind to aging women with younger men.   It's not fair but, it is how things are right now most of the time.

 
November 6, 2006, 3:25 pm CST

i have been married for 13 yrs to a younger husband and we still make each other laugh . we hold hands and always telleach other we love each other. he has said that he loves coming home and the s__ __ is still hot. i am 53 and he is 39 . so yes sometimes

Quote From: shanelleno5

I wonder who the 'they' is in this statement?  My husband went off with a girl at least 20 years his junior.  She thinks he's wealthy.  He does have a high profile job, and I think money and position were very attractive to this young lady.  My husband and his friends all seemed to have younger girlfriends lurking in the background, and he used to go away on 'business trips' to South East Asia, and I learned that he was taking her away on expensive holidays and spending big money on her.  When I found out what was going on, I walked away with our two sons.  I couldn't believe that, when I told my ex-husband I was filing for divorce, he actually had tears in his eyes.  I think, but I'm not sure, that he and she have a fairly volatile relationship and I don't think that she likes him being around our boys very much.  I pity her because if you want to mess about with a married man you have to accept what comes with that situation.  I don't really think that 'age is just a number' - I think a lot of younger women, at least in Australia, who hook up with older men are interested only in dollars and assets and prestige.  I think that the person in this forum who said that these types of relationships are based on a sexual exchange is correct.  Good luck to those who engage in these types of relationships, I say, and even if I sound resentful, I have to say that I pity these couples because their situations sound really empty to me. 

 
November 6, 2006, 5:23 pm CST

not Daddy ... just older on the calender

I'm one of "those guys" who often date women younger than myself.  Ages range between 10 to 20 years younger.  Too me, it's not age, but place in life.  I live the lifestlye that I do and I meet single (mostly) younger women doing what I do.

 

I Snow Ski, Scuba Dive and Bike ride.  Not that I'm a fitness nut ... but I enjoy most of my spare time outside.  Though any age can Ski ... and Scuba.  I find mostly younger outdoorsy, (fit) women on the trips and locations I go to.

 

Also, I've never been married, don't have children, would rather go hiking than to a Museum.  I'd rather go Bird watching, Whale watching or almost anything outdoor.  I do not enjoy "plays" or live Theater and for that matter I don't do "Sporting Events either" (Boring).  That's right, I don't watch the "game" on TV or atted sporting events. 

 

These things are just not for me.

 

Anyway ..Dating:  Yes ... I've dated a few women closer to my age, but we really don't have much in common other than a birth year.  Most have children (I don't) and or grandchildren or think about children etc.  (I don't date younger women with children either).  I general don't date women (no matter what age) that doesn't match up to the things I enjoy, and share my values.  I prefer to life an adventurous life, traveling, dreaming, chasing rainbows and butterflies.  Yes, I have a job, make great money (thank goodness) but do not want the white picket fence, two car garage or children to "pass things along to".  What I want is someone to enjoy the things I enjoy, to laugh out loud, to smile just because, to dance in the shopping mall while waiting in line, to be best friends with.  Sure, I maybe more Peter Pans than Dr Phil, but it's the life I want and love.  As I get older in years, I hope I will always be young at heart.  I look for a woman (of any age) who wants these things as well.  Not because I do it, but because she does it and enjoys it as well.   I'm not looking for "opposite attacks" or "Expanding my views".  I'm very happy and enjoy life.   If I was with someone who wanted to do something other than one of my favorite things ...sure, you bet'ya I'd do it.  But I'm not looking for someone with different interests and values.   I want to be with someone who shares what I enjoy.  Some may argue that ... but it's a good match for me.

 Again, I have a responsible/high profile job, pays well.  I work hard and I play hard.  I'm fit and I enjoy doing things.  Though I know I'll catch a bunch "stuff" from women who disapprove.. I can only say to you.  You follow your heart and your dreams, and I'll follow mine.  Thanks ~

 
November 6, 2006, 5:56 pm CST

11/08 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Quote From: simpleguy

I'm one of "those guys" who often date women younger than myself.  Ages range between 10 to 20 years younger.  Too me, it's not age, but place in life.  I live the lifestlye that I do and I meet single (mostly) younger women doing what I do.

 

I Snow Ski, Scuba Dive and Bike ride.  Not that I'm a fitness nut ... but I enjoy most of my spare time outside.  Though any age can Ski ... and Scuba.  I find mostly younger outdoorsy, (fit) women on the trips and locations I go to.

 

Also, I've never been married, don't have children, would rather go hiking than to a Museum.  I'd rather go Bird watching, Whale watching or almost anything outdoor.  I do not enjoy "plays" or live Theater and for that matter I don't do "Sporting Events either" (Boring).  That's right, I don't watch the "game" on TV or atted sporting events. 

 

These things are just not for me.

 

Anyway ..Dating:  Yes ... I've dated a few women closer to my age, but we really don't have much in common other than a birth year.  Most have children (I don't) and or grandchildren or think about children etc.  (I don't date younger women with children either).  I general don't date women (no matter what age) that doesn't match up to the things I enjoy, and share my values.  I prefer to life an adventurous life, traveling, dreaming, chasing rainbows and butterflies.  Yes, I have a job, make great money (thank goodness) but do not want the white picket fence, two car garage or children to "pass things along to".  What I want is someone to enjoy the things I enjoy, to laugh out loud, to smile just because, to dance in the shopping mall while waiting in line, to be best friends with.  Sure, I maybe more Peter Pans than Dr Phil, but it's the life I want and love.  As I get older in years, I hope I will always be young at heart.  I look for a woman (of any age) who wants these things as well.  Not because I do it, but because she does it and enjoys it as well.   I'm not looking for "opposite attacks" or "Expanding my views".  I'm very happy and enjoy life.   If I was with someone who wanted to do something other than one of my favorite things ...sure, you bet'ya I'd do it.  But I'm not looking for someone with different interests and values.   I want to be with someone who shares what I enjoy.  Some may argue that ... but it's a good match for me.

 Again, I have a responsible/high profile job, pays well.  I work hard and I play hard.  I'm fit and I enjoy doing things.  Though I know I'll catch a bunch "stuff" from women who disapprove.. I can only say to you.  You follow your heart and your dreams, and I'll follow mine.  Thanks

I'm a 34 yr old woman...who has started having feelings for a 19yr old I work with.  We have alot in common, talk all the time on the phone and really enjoy each others company.  I told him my feelings and he is a little skittish on the age difference, therefore not wanting to take it to the next level.  He said if I were younger, he would have already asked me to marry him, thats how well we get alone, and how close we have became....even tho there is 15yrs between us.   I don't want to loose the friendship with him we have, so if he doesn't feel comfortable taking it to the next level, thats fine.....I will just have to accept that, respect his feelings and move on.
 
November 6, 2006, 9:57 pm CST

11/08 Cougars and Sugar Daddies

My stepfather and mother met when he was 24 and she was 40.  I was only 14 at the time.  Today they have been together for 25 years and things really worked out for them.  But what is true is that they like two different kinds of music, they like different foods, and different types of people.  But I think that is why the relationship lasts.  I am now 38 and my boyfriend is 28 and we get along great.  The same is true for us we like totally different things but we enjoy doing them together.  If these couples love each other that is all that should matter. 
 
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