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Topic : Afraid to Ask for What You Want Sexually?

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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:16:34 pm
Author : dataimport
Do you have sexual needs or desires that you're afraid to express? Share your story.

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July 24, 2008, 8:34 am CDT

Sex Fantasy

 I have been with my gf for almost 4 years and our bedroom relationship is good on her side. but i am afraid to tell her my sexual fantasies cuz they are embarising. ever since i was a teenager ive wanted to incorporate fecal matter into the bedroom (i.e her defecating on my face chest genitals, her licking my poopy butt,etc) am i strange how do i share this with her?
 
July 24, 2008, 11:17 am CDT

Sexual fantasy

     Ive been wit my gf for almost 4 years and our love life is good on her side. im not completly sastisfied because i embrassed to tell her my fetish. Ever since i was a teenager ive wanted to incorporate fecal matter in  the bedroom (i.e somone defecating on my face genitals or watching my partenr ingest fecal matter) is there somthing wrong with me? how can i share this with her??
 
September 3, 2008, 4:57 pm CDT

Afraid to Ask for What You Want Sexually?

Quote From: oet_gaol

What do you mean exactly? is it that you cannot masturbate yourself anymore? if that is it then I guess it is a psychological cause. A sexologist could help you with this problem.

 

If it is that you cannot have an orgasm when he has entered you then I can only say that you are totally normal. Most women cannot have an orgasm during intercourse. THere is nothing wrong with you and you do not need any help. Just enjoy the way your husband masturbates you :-) 

I agree. Lots and lots of women don't orgasm during sex, but there are lots of ways, positions and techniques that you can use to involve clitoral stimulation during sex. You could go to a local bookstore (doesn't even have to be just an adult one, a regular bookstore like Borders or Barns and Noble) and check out some books on sex. There are some pretty good ones that talk a lot about things like this, and different ways to stimulate both yourself and your partner in the bedroom. My boyfriend and I even have one that has a sex position for each day of the year.  Books like that can be found near the psychology sections, or the health sections, depending on the bookstore.

 

If you can't masturbate by yourself, then there are several reasons for that. It could be, as was stated in the quoted post, a psychological thing. You may not neccessarily need a sexologist to help you, there are a few ways you could try to help yourself first. For one, you've masturbated before, so why wouldn't you be able to now? Tell yourself that you can, and you have. You could try some sex toys, like a vibrator or a clitoral massager, because those are always fun and they work too. If it's a thing with pornographic material, and you don't want to use that anymore because you have a partner now, then maybe you could ask him to take sexy pictures of himself for you, and you could use those to stimulate yourself.

 
September 3, 2008, 5:14 pm CDT

Afraid to Ask for What You Want Sexually?

Okay, my boyfriend and I have a good sex life. We have sex whenever we can, which isn't always as often as we'd like, but that's because of reasons beyond our control XD. Anyway, we have a duffle-bag full of all kinds of sexual things that we call our "sex bag" even. So bottom line, sex is gooooood.

 

Anyway, sometimes I'm into roleplaying, 'cause it's a bit of a turn-on. We've done the whole "slutty student, horney teacher" thing (Ah...I laugh at myself when I say that....XD) and he and I are into furries ( He was really happy to find out that I liked furries too) so we've done that a few times too. No actual fursuits involved though.

 

Anyway, there's one thing that I would like to do that really would get me in the mood, but I'm really embarrassed to ask him to do it.

 

He and I both love video games, you could call us gamers definately. There's one game that we like to play at LAN parties called "Team Fortress 2." My favorite character class is the Scout....because I think the character is hot....and I would like to roleplay with my boyfriend being this Scout...I was fantasizing about this the other day, and it realllllly got me wanting to do it, but I'm just waaaaaaay to nervous to bring it up.

 

I know it's normal for people to find fictional characters attractive, or to even be aroused by them (otherwise the hentai industry would be non-existant) so that's not particularly the part that makes me nervous, it's just...I don't know. I think maybe because there is this one anime character that he used to masturbate to when he was much, much younger, Felicia, (pubescent boys....ugh...) that he used to be into and I've come to really hate her because of that. I feel like I'd be making a hypocrite of myself if I told him I was so turned-on by the Scout, but get all upset when he brings up Felicia. He doesn't even talk about her anymore because he knows how much it bugs me.

 

I really want him to roleplay as the Scout, but I don't know how, or even if I should, ask him.

 
September 4, 2008, 2:38 am CDT

Afraid to Ask for What You Want Sexually?

Quote From: jackieh814

I'm in a realtionship where there is no passion, intimacy or romance. Not to mention the sex is not good, when we do have it. I've lost interest in sex and don't even want it with my partner. Why? Because he doesn't try to please me and I don't want to ask for what I want. I tried that once and he didn't seem very amused. I think he may think I'm a freak.

I care about him and don't want to end thing's but, I miss a passionate sex relationship.

You don't have passion, intimacy, sex, or romance? & you want to stay with him?

Hey, you my very well be a freak, but freaks deserve love, respect, & sex just like anyone else.

You deserve better & I hope you can get it.

 
September 4, 2008, 2:55 am CDT

Afraid to Ask for What You Want Sexually?

Quote From: batman3304

Ive been wit my gf for almost 4 years and our love life is good on her side. im not completly sastisfied because i embrassed to tell her my fetish. Ever since i was a teenager ive wanted to incorporate fecal matter in the bedroom (i.e somone defecating on my face genitals or watching my partenr ingest fecal matter) is there somthing wrong with me? how can i share this with her??

Thats wild.

If you guys have a vanilla sex lilfe & have no idea what 'easy' kinks like b&d s&m are like she is going to be very shocked. Unless you somehow found a secret fecal freak just like you.

The chances of that happeneing are slim to none as s*** eating is concidered 'out there' by the people who have full dungons.

 

'Hey Hunny, I wanna poop on you, here are some flowers, & some German fecal porn. Love you!' I just don't see how that is going to work.

 

Start her off slow with kinks, let her tie you up with a pair of her nylons. Give her a little spanking. try & ingrain in her mind that kink = playfull fun.

Go to a couples councler & get some s*** on the table (hahah punny) & see if she can handle it. If she can't , & this is something thats going to be a big part of your life & sexualty then you need to respectfully pull the plug & troll craigslist for fecal freak like you.

 

BTW a fetish is something someone can't become aroused without. So if you can get a hardon with her without thinking of poo then it's not a fetish but if you need to sneak off to the bathrook & huff brown panties then thats a fetish & I would reccomed seeing a sympathic councler who will help you deal with this without self hate & high risk behaviors.

 
September 4, 2008, 3:59 pm CDT

Afraid to Ask for What You Want Sexually?

Okay, seriously...stop calling people "freaks." That's one way to make someone really self-concious. I've worked in porn shops before and the number one rule is to never, ever, call someone a freak, no matter what they are into sexually. Even if you do think it's weird, keep it to yourself.

 

Anyway, Batman. You aren't a freak, but I will say that your fetish is unusual and is considered strange by many people, but that does not make you a freak. If you aren't sure about how your girlfriend will react, see what she thinks of the fetish itself before you spring it on her. Ask her if she has any kind of fetishes herself, ask her what kind of fetishes she finds weird without saying anything about you liking defication yourself. If the conversation turns to defication, and she shows any kind of discomfort or disgust at all, don't try to get her to do it.

 

As far as the fetish itself, personally, I wouldn't do it because it is unsanitary. I'm not trying to insult you at all, but there are several ways you could get very sick or get infections from doing that. I would say you should look into other forms of sexual play and see which ones work for you other than that. Believe me, there is a seemingly endless list of things you can explore that would be much fun, and better for your health.

 
September 4, 2008, 8:25 pm CDT

Afraid to Ask for What You Want Sexually?

Quote From: batman3304

     Ive been wit my gf for almost 4 years and our love life is good on her side. im not completly sastisfied because i embrassed to tell her my fetish. Ever since i was a teenager ive wanted to incorporate fecal matter in  the bedroom (i.e somone defecating on my face genitals or watching my partenr ingest fecal matter) is there somthing wrong with me? how can i share this with her??
You'd really be testing her love with that one!!!!  hehehe, that is hilarious!  I'd be pretty afraid to ask for that myself!  hahahahaha, that is some sick stuff buddy.  But, hey, I'm sure there are some girls out there that'd be into it.  So, if ya find one, ya might wanna hold onto her.  Ya might just have to let tha fantasy die.  just my honest perspective. 
 
September 4, 2008, 8:30 pm CDT

Afraid to Ask for What You Want Sexually?

Quote From: redfeathers

Okay, my boyfriend and I have a good sex life. We have sex whenever we can, which isn't always as often as we'd like, but that's because of reasons beyond our control XD. Anyway, we have a duffle-bag full of all kinds of sexual things that we call our "sex bag" even. So bottom line, sex is gooooood.

 

Anyway, sometimes I'm into roleplaying, 'cause it's a bit of a turn-on. We've done the whole "slutty student, horney teacher" thing (Ah...I laugh at myself when I say that....XD) and he and I are into furries ( He was really happy to find out that I liked furries too) so we've done that a few times too. No actual fursuits involved though.

 

Anyway, there's one thing that I would like to do that really would get me in the mood, but I'm really embarrassed to ask him to do it.

 

He and I both love video games, you could call us gamers definately. There's one game that we like to play at LAN parties called "Team Fortress 2." My favorite character class is the Scout....because I think the character is hot....and I would like to roleplay with my boyfriend being this Scout...I was fantasizing about this the other day, and it realllllly got me wanting to do it, but I'm just waaaaaaay to nervous to bring it up.

 

I know it's normal for people to find fictional characters attractive, or to even be aroused by them (otherwise the hentai industry would be non-existant) so that's not particularly the part that makes me nervous, it's just...I don't know. I think maybe because there is this one anime character that he used to masturbate to when he was much, much younger, Felicia, (pubescent boys....ugh...) that he used to be into and I've come to really hate her because of that. I feel like I'd be making a hypocrite of myself if I told him I was so turned-on by the Scout, but get all upset when he brings up Felicia. He doesn't even talk about her anymore because he knows how much it bugs me.

 

I really want him to roleplay as the Scout, but I don't know how, or even if I should, ask him.

HA, you're funny.  I think if you want him to role play as the scout, you should be willing to role lay as Felicia.  Its only fair, you do want balance in the relationship don't you.  Anyway, you should definitely find a way to bring it up.  From the way you've described him and your relationship, I'm sure he'd be down for it. 
 
September 4, 2008, 10:18 pm CDT

Afraid to Ask for What You Want Sexually?

Quote From: turkalurk

HA, you're funny.  I think if you want him to role play as the scout, you should be willing to role lay as Felicia.  Its only fair, you do want balance in the relationship don't you.  Anyway, you should definitely find a way to bring it up.  From the way you've described him and your relationship, I'm sure he'd be down for it. 

Well, I have offered to be Felicia for him, and he told me not to. *shrug* I guess he doesn't want me to because he knows how I feel about her (he used to make comments about her a lot...plus there is more hentai of her than there is of the character Morrigan from the same game, and Morrigan is a succubus 0_o)

 

Anyway, I could see your point though. Knowing him, he would probably be willing. But you just gave me a great idea. We could roleplay these two characters at the same time...so it would be like the Scout doing Felicia.....brilliant.....

 
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