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Topic : Afraid to Ask for What You Want Sexually?

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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:16:34 pm
Author : dataimport
Do you have sexual needs or desires that you're afraid to express? Share your story.
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schester
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December 10, 2005, 2:24 am PST

Whats the difference???

I would like to know if there is a difference between an orgasim and getting off???  After speaking with a friend I am not so sure anymore.  I started wondering when one of Dr. Phil's guest said after 5 years of marriage she had an orgasim and her sex drive was boosted.  How does she go 5 years without an orgasim???  Or better yet have I gone five years without one?
 
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misty_eyes
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December 10, 2005, 11:54 pm PST

Questions......

Why do most men rather have there needs met before worring about pleasing the person they are with? Well that is the question men so fill us women in. Now I know this is a tackle question for most to anser with an honest answer. But I always experienced men who just worried abuot pleasing themselves. But the person who I share my life with now rather it be the other way around. On making sure I am taking care of more then he is. And I did find he is not afraid to try new things that come to mind. Some men think some things are alittle to extreme to try. And if that is the case then you should start talking to your partner, and get the other side of the story of feelings and thoughts about interests that you like also. It is not always about you. It is about both getting the full effect of the whole experience of pleasures.  

  

So, "  Who is going to brave this question with honesty? "!!!! 
 
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marihop60
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December 11, 2005, 7:11 pm PST

So many issues...

One is when we have sex, he likes to "talk" and it ends up sounding like a porn movie. Sometimes that's ok, but sometimes I wonder if he could ever really make love, and I'd like to feel love during the act, like I'm special, and not the F Me Baby. I have told him I'm not a Bit**,  and stopped movement when he said it, he got that hint and he has stopped calling me that. My problem is that I want the words I want to hear to come from his heart, not that I had to ask for them. How do you ask for something you wish for, but it would lose meaning if you have to ask?!!
 
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ksm072466
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December 11, 2005, 10:21 pm PST

Afraid to Ask for What You Want?

Quote From: misty_eyes

Why do most men rather have there needs met before worring about pleasing the person they are with? Well that is the question men so fill us women in. Now I know this is a tackle question for most to anser with an honest answer. But I always experienced men who just worried abuot pleasing themselves. But the person who I share my life with now rather it be the other way around. On making sure I am taking care of more then he is. And I did find he is not afraid to try new things that come to mind. Some men think some things are alittle to extreme to try. And if that is the case then you should start talking to your partner, and get the other side of the story of feelings and thoughts about interests that you like also. It is not always about you. It is about both getting the full effect of the whole experience of pleasures.  

  

So, "  Who is going to brave this question with honesty? "!!!! 

I am not sure what to say to this question.  My husband always makes sure that I am pleased first before him.  I always worry about him and he says not to worry that I am the most important.  I think that alot of men are like you are saying, that they worry about themselves.  Other men I have been with in my past have been that way.  I am not sure what makes them think this way but I sure would like to know myself.  We need a mans insite on this one I think. 

  
 
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ksm072466
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December 11, 2005, 10:24 pm PST

Afraid to Ask for What You Want?

Quote From: marihop60

One is when we have sex, he likes to "talk" and it ends up sounding like a porn movie. Sometimes that's ok, but sometimes I wonder if he could ever really make love, and I'd like to feel love during the act, like I'm special, and not the F Me Baby. I have told him I'm not a Bit**,  and stopped movement when he said it, he got that hint and he has stopped calling me that. My problem is that I want the words I want to hear to come from his heart, not that I had to ask for them. How do you ask for something you wish for, but it would lose meaning if you have to ask?!!
I know from talking to my man regarding this that he says it excites him more to talk that way.  I myself talk that way sometimes to my husband but not all the time.  There are times to make love and times to get chatty and wild.  I think that your man needs to take a look at what you are saying and acknowledge what you are saying and that you guys might have a better sex life it he did.  Not saying you have a bad one but sounds like he likes it that way all the time and that is not good.  I would not be able to deal with that.  You need that love making too.
 
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misty_eyes
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December 12, 2005, 3:26 am PST

Reply to ksm072466.

Quote From: ksm072466

I am not sure what to say to this question.  My husband always makes sure that I am pleased first before him.  I always worry about him and he says not to worry that I am the most important.  I think that alot of men are like you are saying, that they worry about themselves.  Other men I have been with in my past have been that way.  I am not sure what makes them think this way but I sure would like to know myself.  We need a mans insite on this one I think. 

  

Thank you for the reply. Least I know I am not the only one who would like to seek some kind of insight from a man's point of view.  am not trying to dog any man out there. And it does make us women anger, when men don't share what we want also. 

So, please any man come forward to help us on understanding you!! 
 
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tamarindo
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December 12, 2005, 2:56 pm PST

RE: Sex with a prostitute

Quote From: citrus8

 this might be the wrong section but i couldnt post on the right one. oh well

Hello, i am 24 yr old male. I never had a girlfriend before. I had sex with a prostitue a couple times last year. It was mostly on a whim and I didnt even think about stds at the time. 4 months afterward  i got a check up and I didnt have any stds. yay.
Now my  dilemma is should I reveal this to a potential future girlfriend? Should I just say "Ive never had a girlfriend" and let her think I'm a virgin? But I have this creeping feeling we won't be as intimate as I want if I do that, and I keep having flashes of how mad she would be if I reveal her the truth later on.
 Hi, there really isn't much difference between a one night stand and having sex with a prostitute other than money was exchanged.  I wouldn't reveal that to a future girlfriend because she may wonder from time to time whether you really went out with the guys or were off picking up on some hooker.  Please don't do that anymore.  You can get busted by an undercover cop and have a criminal history or you may get killed or catch HIV or Hepatitis.  You are still so young and have so many years of life left.  Don't ruin your life over one cheap night of sex that probably wasn't all that good.  I say this because one of my best friends caught HIV from a prostitute.  He didn't use a condom and after they were finished, she told him that he had AIDS.  He was in shock and disbelief and regretted it so much.  He used to cry uncontrollably on the phone and when I would see him in person.  I hope this piece of advice helps.  Take care and remember that you are worth a lot and will one day find a good woman that will value you and love you for who you are. 
 
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motta84
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December 28, 2005, 9:12 am PST

tell her

if this girl really means something, for you , i mean if you care about building a serious relation ship with her, so come on, tell her, "truth man" , otherwise, if you think she shouldn't know, so keep it and just try to be a friend  
 
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skyzthlymt
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December 29, 2005, 11:35 am PST

I really need your help and opinions

Quote From: motta84

if this girl really means something, for you , i mean if you care about building a serious relation ship with her, so come on, tell her, "truth man" , otherwise, if you think she shouldn't know, so keep it and just try to be a friend  

I have been trying to improve my relationship with my wife for years.Whatever I say and do is wrong.I tell her how I feel I am being told I should have kept it to myself.I told her I feel like I am doing everything wrong she said I was.I have hurt her by the way I spoke to her and wrote letters to her years back and I was wrong for it and wish I can take it back but I can't,but I am at my wits end and need some advice to what to do.Everything I say and do is wrong.I can't take it no more.
 
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jadessa0

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December 29, 2005, 6:36 pm PST

What if I have asked

I met this guy, everything was terrific he's the only one who has ever satisfied me (in bed) and then one day he doesn't want sex anymore and I mean NOTHING!!!! No French Kissing no nothing! I am so frustrated I could scream, I love him he is a fantastic guy treats me great it's just this one thing. I've talked to him about, it I've tried everything in my power to boost confidence, make him feel secure make him realize it's the intimacy I am missing in our relationship and that he is this fabulous person and so hot, and so on but nothing works. I don't get it and it really hurts being rejected over and over again. It's been twice in 7 months. I know for absoloute 100% he is not cheating so please don't go that route.
 
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