Quote From: manofgoodsI do not believe that masturbation is a sin either. I believe that masturbation is only bad when it becomes a problem. Like if it begins to interfere with a person's life. If someone becomes addicted to it and blocks out other things just to be able to get off. Like if they make themselves constantly late for work because they wanted to get some masturbation time in before, or when someone begins turning sex down for masturbation and refuses to participate in the sexual side of their relationship. Only when it starts becoming a problem do I think that it's bad. I notice a lot of naivete in your post. There are lots of other sexual things we can do besides masturbate, but it mainly depends a lot on the individual's personal choice. Some people chose not to do it, some people choose to do it a lot. Some people have sex more often than they masturbate. It all depends. And like I said before, just because someone masturbates does not mean that they cannot have sex with someone else. Get out of that mindset.
That's the thing. Say that
I
do want to get married to someone that I love, & will want to have sex with her. But what happens if I
don't want any children? Another thing, what I said about masturbating as a substitute because they can't have sex with someone else, I meant by that people can't have sex with anyone outside of marriage that masturbation becomes a substitute. That's what I meant to say.
Well, you should have been more specific. If you don't want children, you need to discuss that with your spouse and not just replace them with masturbation. There is such thing as birth control, condoms, and vasectomys. If you start replacing sex with your spouse with masturbation just because you don't want kids, you set yourself up for some very serious marital problems.
And I think that if someone is using masturbation to stop themselves from having extramarital affairs, there already are problems in place. That shows there's a commitment issue, as well as any number of other possible issues. It shows that the person substituting affairs with masturbation, as well as substituting sex with their spouse with masturbation, they are disconnecting from the sexual side of the marriage, and I wouldn't be suprised if they were disconnecting from other parts of the marriage as well. It also might mean that the person doing that is already thinking about someone besides their spouse while they do it. That's a situation in which masturbation becomes problematic. It should not be a substitute for sex with your spouse, nor should it be a substitute for extramarital affairs. Seriously, I don't lay myself down and think "I can't have sex with anyone besides my boyfriend, I guess I'll masturbate to stop myself from cheating on him." No. I don't even consider sex with other people. That's not a thought that crosses my mind when I masturbate. I masturbate because sometimes I like having that kind of time to myself. So does my boyfriend. He doesn't do it to stop himself from cheating either. Masturbation should not be used for that reason.
