Dr. Phil.com - Messageboards - Afraid to Ask for What You Want Sexually?

emirates80

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embarrassed

March 14, 2006, 1:30 am PST

i do not have good title for that ??

hi there doc..

am one of the million people who like your show .. am 95 weight and 175 tall..

i do not know what to say but really when i get tierd from useing many things fore my problem am coming back to u and wanna to find the solution with you>

my problem is with my peins it is small tall mayby 14 something like that i do some test with some clinic and they are do not have same world .. but they say that i have 4cm still of my peins in my body nad i take many midicene from them and one staff that pull ur peins out now from 1 year maybe and more but ro result and am now talking with ya and feel soem shy and hope that i will find something from you and good news..

am maried from 3 years i have 2 childrens my relation ship with my wife is good..

but the problem i feel that is my penis still small and i want to find solution to enlarge it..

sorry for my worlds or my spilling mistake becoze am not that much good in english but i hope that you can understand what i mean and hope that u will help me in my big problem i can say..

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bluelily87

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March 15, 2006, 10:34 pm PST

Afraid to Ask for What You Want?

Quote From: emirates80

hi there doc..

am one of the million people who like your show .. am 95 weight and 175 tall..

i do not know what to say but really when i get tierd from useing many things fore my problem am coming back to u and wanna to find the solution with you>

my problem is with my peins it is small tall mayby 14 something like that i do some test with some clinic and they are do not have same world .. but they say that i have 4cm still of my peins in my body nad i take many midicene from them and one staff that pull ur peins out now from 1 year maybe and more but ro result and am now talking with ya and feel soem shy and hope that i will find something from you and good news..

am maried from 3 years i have 2 childrens my relation ship with my wife is good..

but the problem i feel that is my penis still small and i want to find solution to enlarge it..

sorry for my worlds or my spilling mistake becoze am not that much good in english but i hope that you can understand what i mean and hope that u will help me in my big problem i can say..

hey... you may want to send this through the site's e-mail to Dr. Phil rather than posting it in on a message board... I am not sure if they read very many of the messages on here since there are so many.

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fish4it

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worried

March 19, 2006, 1:42 am PST

what has happened?sex has fell apart

i am so confused, my wife and i have been married for ten years, i i know i adore her and i feel she loves me in some way, as she swears she does, we have two children , 7 years old and an 8 month old, she absolutely dreads sex with me, and does it just to keep me from "pouting" as she calls it. she has not had an orgasm since we had our first child, she says its because of nerve damage from the pregnancy. i know she loves me, but has lost any sexual desires. i have tried oral sex, that used to drive her wild! i love her so dearly and this is really bothering me. i have told her i would try anything to please her, i just dont know what to do.she really does not want to engage in conversation about this with me. she is 36 and i am 35. i have never cheated on her, this makes me feel very inferior .i see and read where it so many times is the men that fall short in sex drive, i guess not this time. thanks for your input!

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bluelily87

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March 19, 2006, 7:57 am PST

Afraid to Ask for What You Want?

Quote From: fish4it

i am so confused, my wife and i have been married for ten years, i i know i adore her and i feel she loves me in some way, as she swears she does, we have two children , 7 years old and an 8 month old, she absolutely dreads sex with me, and does it just to keep me from "pouting" as she calls it. she has not had an orgasm since we had our first child, she says its because of nerve damage from the pregnancy. i know she loves me, but has lost any sexual desires. i have tried oral sex, that used to drive her wild! i love her so dearly and this is really bothering me. i have told her i would try anything to please her, i just dont know what to do.she really does not want to engage in conversation about this with me. she is 36 and i am 35. i have never cheated on her, this makes me feel very inferior .i see and read where it so many times is the men that fall short in sex drive, i guess not this time. thanks for your input!

back when I was with my ex... i was really busy... doing university courses full time and working part time.... and was involved in the theatre program so had a few plays, and I was just always tired. Well, the more he would try and make me feel bad for being tired and not wanting to have sex, the worse it got. I would only have sex with him so he wouldn't get mad at me, and didn't even really care to have it anymore... I got to a point where I couldn't even get myself warmed up and it sucked.

Some women do not want to have sex after they have children.... maybe she needs more than 8 months to recover from her second pregnancy?!

What does she say about it?

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fish4it

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March 19, 2006, 3:49 pm PST

Afraid to Ask for What You Want?

Quote From: bluelily87

back when I was with my ex... i was really busy... doing university courses full time and working part time.... and was involved in the theatre program so had a few plays, and I was just always tired. Well, the more he would try and make me feel bad for being tired and not wanting to have sex, the worse it got. I would only have sex with him so he wouldn't get mad at me, and didn't even really care to have it anymore... I got to a point where I couldn't even get myself warmed up and it sucked.

Some women do not want to have sex after they have children.... maybe she needs more than 8 months to recover from her second pregnancy?!

What does she say about it?

thanks for the reply,this is really been since the birth of our first child, she seems to enjoy sex somewhat once she gets engaged in it,its just the dread prior to it. i try to help her as equally as i can with the children and household items while juggling a crazy schedule and i really make an effort to keep the communication and friendship going in our marriage. i understand we have to steal moments when we can, i have asked so many times for us to arrange date nights, but she is not interested. she has a friend who she does things with, and she shows that she is obviously happier to be with her. my wifes mother has even said the only time she sees her happy is when she is with her....that breaks my heart. i have learned not to push that situation because she will resent me further.i know she loves me, but it is different, i guess, i need to just just swallow and accept what i have. i am not going to cheat, i am a police officer and i come in contact with alot of woman, i do get flirted with quiet often, yes it is flattering, but i want my wife to desire me as i do her! She is my world along with my children.i am not unattractive ,i dont believe, i could lose some pounds, and maybe i should ,maybe if i feel good about me she will to! i want her to make her feel as beautiful as i see her. i am really just tired of feeling like i should apologize after we have sex.

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beth203

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March 19, 2006, 7:38 pm PST

feeling undesirable

My husband and I have been married for almost six years. Before marrying we lived together for a couple of years (the first mistake). Since we've been married he has had two affairs that I know about. Since his last affair, which ended almost a year ago, we have only had sex twice and that was nine months ago. I have asked him if what the problem is and his reply was "he's affraid of disappointing". I can't help but wonder if he's affraid of my disappointment or his. I'm still very attracted to him and I have a strong desire for a sexual relationship with him. Considering the fact that he has gone outside of the marriage for his intimate needs leaves me feeling very confused and alone. I want him, but I don't want to demand sex from him. Could it be that he finds so hidious that he can't bare the thought of making love to me? Was that little sl_t so great in the sack that he doesn't think I will be able to satisfy him? I don't know what to do.

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fish4it

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March 19, 2006, 8:00 pm PST

Afraid to Ask for What You Want?

Quote From: beth203

My husband and I have been married for almost six years. Before marrying we lived together for a couple of years (the first mistake). Since we've been married he has had two affairs that I know about. Since his last affair, which ended almost a year ago, we have only had sex twice and that was nine months ago. I have asked him if what the problem is and his reply was "he's affraid of disappointing". I can't help but wonder if he's affraid of my disappointment or his. I'm still very attracted to him and I have a strong desire for a sexual relationship with him. Considering the fact that he has gone outside of the marriage for his intimate needs leaves me feeling very confused and alone. I want him, but I don't want to demand sex from him. Could it be that he finds so hidious that he can't bare the thought of making love to me? Was that little sl_t so great in the sack that he doesn't think I will be able to satisfy him? I don't know what to do.

beth, sorry that you are feeling this way, i can say i can relate on feeling undesireable! my situation is a little different as far as i know no infidelity has occured. i cant help but wonder a couple of things on this from a males prospective.......is he possibly having a physical problem you are unawre of, would it be possible he contracted and std of some sort and is concerned of passing on to you?. it is so stressful to be in this predicament especially for those of us who will not cheat! it sounds like he possibly had low self esteem to make him want to go outside the marriage(which by no means an excuse but for some an uncontrollable weakeness) its obvious you are there for his needs, so dont feel it is anything you are not doing, this really his problem to deal with but, i as a man would want you to be brutaly honest with me with your needs, i cant stand not knowing where i stand!

Good luck beth!

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mang_d

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March 20, 2006, 4:05 am PST

It's possible.....

Quote From: mdearest

I didn't sleep with him, but I did let him get to my heart again. I swear, I am so stupid. My birthday was yesterday, well my stbx (soon to be ex) came home Monday evening really drunk and I helped him to bed. During the help that night and all morning yesterday he was so sweet. I want us to try to work it out, I will go to counseling if thats what you want, I believe that we can make it. So it is my birthday now, I call and set up the appointment with a counselor for next week. My husband calls me at work to see what it is exactly that I would like for dinner, so we decide that. The day goes on, I'm 40, I'm happy, it's my birthday. He comes home from work, still happy and begins to cook. Well our 10 year old is home and talking to him, then our 19 year old who lives with us comes home with her boyfriend and their new baby ... something happens, don't ask me what. I go into the kitchen when dinner is almost ready and my husband calls my 19 yr old in to see if she will finish the chicken as he has to go. I'm confused, I ask, "where are you going?" He has made a plate for his girlfriend, of my birthday dinner, and is going to take it to her at work, but will be back in about an hour or so. My heart sank to the floor and slithered off under the refrigerator never to be seen again. I felt so stupid and embarrassed for believing his lies all day. I know I don't deserve to be treated this way, but every part of my heart tells me that I should try to save my marriage. The vows do say for better or for worse.

I wish I had the money because if I did, I would see a therapist weekly if not more and file for divorce tomorrow. I can't go on like this, he is slowly and painfully killing my heart and he doesn't even give a crap.

Oh god, please let me win the lottery tonight ... I will gladly give him half the money just to get him out of my life once and for all and get on with living for myself and my kids.

This marriage can be saved, but it takes work....

There are obviously strong feelings here on both sides,.. but you both have to dig and recognize them.

First, if you both really want to work on the marriage, neither of you can have boyfriend/girl friend

Both of you need to mature....

And get counseling,...

My wife and I were in the same place that you are 7 years ago....

We are now very happy together and have additional children to show for it....

This relationship CAN work

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franflakes

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Happy

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confused

March 20, 2006, 6:02 pm PST

Need Help

My husband and I are an older couple that have been married only 7 months..there is no sex in our marriage..There was not a lot of sex before our marriage, but now and then and that was fine with me..now we live in a two bedroom apartment and we both have our own bedrooms..I thought the 2nd bedroom was suppose to be a computer room..Well now I am not sure what to do???Can anyone help???

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bluelily87

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March 21, 2006, 7:44 am PST

Afraid to Ask for What You Want?

Quote From: franflakes

My husband and I are an older couple that have been married only 7 months..there is no sex in our marriage..There was not a lot of sex before our marriage, but now and then and that was fine with me..now we live in a two bedroom apartment and we both have our own bedrooms..I thought the 2nd bedroom was suppose to be a computer room..Well now I am not sure what to do???Can anyone help???

I say you should tell him how you feel... maybe he doesn't know, maybe he has some sort of erectile disfunction.... about the seperate bedrooms, what are his motives for that??? The only way to have a good marriage, is to communicate, I think.... so try and talk to him and see what he has to say..... maybe even try therapy if he'll go

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Message Boards

Topic : Afraid to Ask for What You Want Sexually?

i do not have good title for that ??

Afraid to Ask for What You Want?

what has happened?sex has fell apart

Afraid to Ask for What You Want?

Afraid to Ask for What You Want?

feeling undesirable

Afraid to Ask for What You Want?

It's possible.....

Need Help

Afraid to Ask for What You Want?