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Topic : Afraid to Ask for What You Want Sexually?

Number of Replies: 722
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:16:34 pm
Author : dataimport
Do you have sexual needs or desires that you're afraid to express? Share your story.

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September 25, 2005, 10:59 pm CDT

Why don't they listen?

My husband and I have good sex when I finally get in the mood.  It isn't a lack of interest, I am VERY interested, but he doesn't listen.  I have told him over and over that he has to talk to me to turn me on.  It is the old "to turn a woman on turn her ears on and then the rest will follow".  I don't want dirty talk, just the simple stuff:  "you're beautiful, I want you, etc".  I feel like there is no desire.  I know he wants me (that is obvious physically hehe), but he just doesn't get that we women do not work with visual as well as men.  Why can't he get that I just need to hear that I am wanted!!!  

  

I have talked to him at length about this, he says he understands, but nothing changes!  Why doesn't he listen to me!!!! 

 
September 26, 2005, 9:33 pm CDT

Afraid to Ask for What You Want?

get a private investigator, catch him in the act and win that divorce and kick him out.
 
September 28, 2005, 10:04 am CDT

hey my girlfriend said the same thing

Quote From: angels2606

My husband and I have good sex when I finally get in the mood.  It isn't a lack of interest, I am VERY interested, but he doesn't listen.  I have told him over and over that he has to talk to me to turn me on.  It is the old "to turn a woman on turn her ears on and then the rest will follow".  I don't want dirty talk, just the simple stuff:  "you're beautiful, I want you, etc".  I feel like there is no desire.  I know he wants me (that is obvious physically hehe), but he just doesn't get that we women do not work with visual as well as men.  Why can't he get that I just need to hear that I am wanted!!!  

  

I have talked to him at length about this, he says he understands, but nothing changes!  Why doesn't he listen to me!!!! 

Hey nice to meet you. i just replying to your comment about your husband. i just figure my girlfriend said that to me.  i want to play with her for little while  then get into it. I just dont understand. we also have many arugement about this. Please reply
 
September 28, 2005, 10:22 am CDT

My girlfriends

Quote From: juballl

Jackieh814, communications is the cornerstone of any relationship, platonic or otherwise, and if you can't talk to him about intimacy, why are you being intimate?

At some point in time, the sex must have been at least okay, or you would not be with him now, at least I hope that is the case.

You need to talk to your partner about what your likes/turn on's are as well as your dislikes/turn off's. If your sexual appetite is different than his, you should gently bring things up and look for a reaction, to see if it is favorable or not.

Some men love their woman to be a whore in bed and a lady in public, and others think of their wife as a mother figure. Let's hope your partner is open, but you need to go slow with bringing out information that may be foreign to your sexual relationship the way it is now, but how can you expect him to know what you want, if you are not willing to tell him?

Talk to him about role playing or different positions or anything that is different than what is going on now. Who knows, you may awaken a side of him he didn't know was there. I hope this helps. Good luck, and great sex!

hello, i just want to  know why girlfriend is not sexually active girl? We had sex and talk about it. we told each other what we like and dislike. i also try some of what she wanted me to do but most of the time she does not get in the mood even though i did what she likes. it crazy and i just dont get it. I told her is it me and, she said i dont talk to her as much. okay then i change my ways and started to listen to her now and i find out its very interesting. Still, she isnt in the mood to do any thing. We just cuddle in bed and she doesnt want to have sex. One more thing she also afriad get pregeant by me even though we use a condum. Another thing she very a one way woman we only if she on top. Other positon she said they hurt her why, i dont know. i also been with her about 2 years.  
 
October 4, 2005, 4:47 pm CDT

Curious. What's Your Opinion?

Hello. I'm 17 and female. I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 months now. I love him So much and i know he loves me. I know everyone will think its weird and crazy, but we are crazy about eachother and have already talked about and discussed our futures together. We want to be with each other for the rest of our lives, we both know that. We need eachother. We talk about everything, we never fight, and we're Perfect for eachother. We've talked about sex, and decided that we have to wait at least a year. We both want it already but know we should wait. Everyone has different opinions on this issue and it really differs between people, but i was wondering what everyone else thought was the "appropriate" age? Is 18 too young? Several peope my age are no longer virgins, but that doesnt mean it's right. What do you think?  

  

Thankyou 

 
October 5, 2005, 6:37 am CDT

Please Help!

 Due to childhood experiences and an abusive first marriage I have always been afraid to speak up when something hurts me. I am now married to a wonderful, loving, caring man and I know that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. The problem is, is that during foreplay he gets carried away and his loving gentle touch turns into excruciating pain. I'm afraid to say anything and just try to block it out. Sometimes he can sense that something is wrong and he'll ask me what's wrong and I always say nothing's wrong, when I really want to scream out that it hurts! I know that I should be honest with him and just tell him but I can never bring myself to speak up.
 
October 6, 2005, 7:58 am CDT

The answer is in the question...

Quote From: sillysass

Hello. I'm 17 and female. I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 months now. I love him So much and i know he loves me. I know everyone will think its weird and crazy, but we are crazy about eachother and have already talked about and discussed our futures together. We want to be with each other for the rest of our lives, we both know that. We need eachother. We talk about everything, we never fight, and we're Perfect for eachother. We've talked about sex, and decided that we have to wait at least a year. We both want it already but know we should wait. Everyone has different opinions on this issue and it really differs between people, but i was wondering what everyone else thought was the "appropriate" age? Is 18 too young? Several peope my age are no longer virgins, but that doesnt mean it's right. What do you think?  

  

Thankyou 

Like you, I was 17 when I gave my virginity to a boy I'd cared about for a long time (more than three years).  Aside from that, I'm probably as far from like you as the sun and the moon!  But in my opinion there's one thing that remains constant in all women: our virginity, that simple physiological piece of tissue representing our God-given virtue can only be given away once.  ONCE.  It can't be taken back.  It won't grow back.   

Right now, you and your boyfriend are riding that wonderful and insane hormone roller coaster and so your relationship does feel perfect.  

But, for the sake of argument, let's just say he isn't the one for you and at age twenty or twenty-three (or whatever) you meet the one who is.   

Which one would you rather give that gift of your virginity to?  (And trust me, there's no real heavy difference between 17, 27 or 37!  Just ask my gorgeous baby sisters, ages 18 and 33 - both still happy virgins and relieved that they have that something special to give.) 

So, in my long and annoyingly complicated answer, here's my ultimate comment: What is the "appropriate age" for sex?  Easy.  It's the same answer to how old you'll be when you marry the man of your dreams. 

 
October 13, 2005, 7:14 pm CDT

Afraid to Ask for What You Want?

Quote From: angels2606

My husband and I have good sex when I finally get in the mood.  It isn't a lack of interest, I am VERY interested, but he doesn't listen.  I have told him over and over that he has to talk to me to turn me on.  It is the old "to turn a woman on turn her ears on and then the rest will follow".  I don't want dirty talk, just the simple stuff:  "you're beautiful, I want you, etc".  I feel like there is no desire.  I know he wants me (that is obvious physically hehe), but he just doesn't get that we women do not work with visual as well as men.  Why can't he get that I just need to hear that I am wanted!!!  

  

I have talked to him at length about this, he says he understands, but nothing changes!  Why doesn't he listen to me!!!! 

Tell hubby he doesn't get any till you do. Making love is about 2 people, not just one. Don't just tell him, SHOW him.
 
October 13, 2005, 7:15 pm CDT

Husband won't listen

Quote From: adol_cas21

Hey nice to meet you. i just replying to your comment about your husband. i just figure my girlfriend said that to me.  i want to play with her for little while  then get into it. I just dont understand. we also have many arugement about this. Please reply

Tell your hubby that he don't get any till he listens and takes an interest to what you want. Don't tell him, show him.  

And make time for yourself, I think masterbation is very important. It puts you in tune with yourself so that you can put hubby in tune. It's nothing to be ashamed of. 

Please reply 

 
October 14, 2005, 5:26 am CDT

Hello Everyone

It's been a while since I was on here, hope everyone is well.  Things are still the same at home and I miss my friend so much, ben a while since I contacted her. I lost as always. 

Would be nice to here from some of you again.  Les the silly old man from the UK 

 
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