My H and I have been married for 10+ years. We started "communicating" about touchy issues at the beginning and then he would get upset so I started writing notes and he would write back (I know...I know). Now, there is no communication about ANYTHING other than how the kids are doing (when he asks because he told me he doesn't want to hear about my day or the kids or anything when he gets home from work). I work full-time from home (soon to be out of the house), do laundry, cook, clean, shop, pay bills, run errands, etc. but I'm not supposed to tell him when bills are tight or that one of the kids might have a meeting at school or something. He doesn't even know their teachers' names.
Needless to say, when we first got together he wanted "it" all the time (granted I was about 50 lbs. lighter but it really shouldn't make that much of a difference). He snuggled with me, paid me compliments, etc. In about 8 years (no I haven't been this heavy in the whole 8 years), he hasn't kissed me on the lips, paid me ONE compliment, held my hand in public or private, nothing. Sooo when we get in bed (and he's been drinking about 10 beers in 3 hours), he thinks that by brushing my boob or his foot touching mine should get me going and he flips over and gets what he needs done and says "sorry", rolls over and goes to sleep. That has been at least once a week for the past 8 years. If I try to initiate something, he will usually turn stone cold and just not say anything, so I don't do it anymore. He is mean to me and the kids by saying hurtful things and when I try to tell him I'm not interested, he pouts for a few days and gets really snappy with me and the kids and so I just lay there and let him do whatever he needs and then he's fine for another week. Well, I'm writing today because he's approaching getting grouchy again because it's been a week. It makes me sick to think about it. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. Any suggestions?
