Topic : Afraid to Ask for What You Want Sexually?

Well some women just take longer to get one. You are probebly one of them.

To enhance your orgasm it is best you know what you like. Try masturbating to find out what gets you off, not every woman is the same and so not every woman likes the same movement around her clitoris.

You can also use a small vibrator during sex, it helps you to orgasm quicker and your partner can give you an orgasm that way. Some vibrators are as small as lipstick so it is not cumbersome. It is best to use one on batteries. Though they wear out and aren't as strong as vibrators without batteries. They have as big advantage that they have no cord, when with a partner it could get in the way.

Then what you might like is the G-spot though it is not certain every woman has one or can orgasm through it. You find the g-spot about 1 to 1.5 inch into your vagina. on the side of your belly. it is a spot which feels different from the rest of the vagina. You can stimulate it by hand or with toys.

Third option (though I'm not entirely sure you can orgasm through that) is via anal stimulation. (just use your imagination ;-) .)

 

Next to these tips it is also important for you to set the mood. Don't think about everyday worries, focus on the sex your partner the moment and yourself. If you are distracted you can't orgasm or it will take more time. Last thing is not to rush foreplay. Get in the mood lite candles take a bath together whatever gets you going.

 

I hope this helps,

xx Oet Gäöl

Not really what you asked but still an addition: the male g-spot (the prostate) can be reached via the anus and men can orgasm through that (might he be willing to try.) it is supposed to be a great feeling...

Are you getting your orgasm through sexual intercourse with your husband? Or, is he manually, or orally, dtimulating you. Usually, fewer than 30% of women have orgasms through intercourse. Most positions don't involve enough clitoral stimulation. And, with those that do, it still takes a lot of time. Manual stimulation, or vibrators, are more likely to bring on an orgasm. And, orgasms usually come more quickly with practice. I'd suggest giving yourself orgasms. Fiding out what works best. And, passing the information on to your husband.

I have been married 3 times, and I know about putting your guns down, in an attempt to save your marriage. And I know about humiliation, hurt ,confusion, and every other emotion that tears you down,

and causes the sleepless nights. But, there does come a time that you do say,"enough" and pick yourself up, and start living for yourself again.

I know it hurts, and it rips your heart out, but.....you have to respect yourself, and not be a doormat for this

idiot. You have two beautiful children, and a grandchild, they see your pain, and humiliation. Give them your love. Make it all about those of you that treat one another with respect, and consideration. And tell him

that you are not going to put up with his antics anymore. That you do not deserve to be treated like that.

Because until you stand up for yourself, he will continue to walk all over you. Whats next, he'll ask to use your bedroom?

Communications is the cornerstone of any relationship, and you are not communicating. Try and ask her directly what is going on with her. Ask her why her sudden loss of sexual appetite. Has she started any new medications? Some medications, such as anti-depressants for example, cause a loss of sexual appetite in some people. This could be the problem. I, nor anyone on here can give you the perfect answer, other than to sit her down at a time when there is nothing to disturb the two of you. Take the phone off the hook, turn off cell phones, and talk.

 

I hope this helps. Good luck, and keep us informed. It may help someone else with the same problem

My boyfriend is a wonderful, caring, attentive man.  Except...his idea of sex, good as it is...just doesn't seem to be about 'pleasing me'.  I've told him that most women don't get orgasms through intercourse, and that orgasms aren't always what we're in it for...but that may have been the wrong thing to say.  It's not always what I'm in it for...emotional connection and just being close is lovely enough most of the time...but it would be wonderful to have him want to please me physically. I'm starting to loose interest because it's...the same almost every time. Usually I have no problems saying what I want....but I seem to be afraid of mentioning this to him.  I don't know what it is I'm afraid of. I tried to sneak it in the other day by saying "and what are you going to do for me?" but he didn't want to do anything but the same old thing.  I'm starting to feel like it's up to me to initiate everything in the bedroom.  I don't want to be the only one suggesting things but I want to have my needs met too.  I know I need to talk to him about this...but why am I so scared to and what can I do to overcome this fear?

It sounds to me like you have a selfish lover. Many of us men have that problem. Only you can answer why you are afraid to talk to him about it. Maybe you are afraid of hurting his feelings, but if you don't communicate with him about your desires, and what you are wanting sexually, he may never get it.

 

You need to find a time, that is not when sex is something you are in the middle of, or heading in that direction. You need to be frank and let him know what your desires are, what turns you on, things that you would enjoy in the sexual part of your relationship. Most of us men don't get it. Let him know you are not satisfied, and why. If he still doesn't show an interest in ensuring your sexual happiness, then you may want to question if this man is truly for you.

 

If he was in tune into realizing how erotic pleasing you should be, he would be working overtime to ensure he is pleasing you. Just the act of pleasing your partner should be an erotic thing for him, and unless he is not willing to change his behavior, you may just find that he is selfish in other areas of character.

 

Let him know that is he truly cared/loved you, pleasing you should be at the top of his list. If he begins to  pout, allow him time to get over his hurt feelings, and then let him know it's a two way street. Tell him your job is to ensure he is being pleased, and his job should be to ensure you are being pleased sexually. We are all in charge of our own happiness, but in the bedroom, pleasing your partner is a job that one should focus on, and again, if he is not willing, then you truly may want to rethink your relationship altogether. After all, the sexual passions in the early part of a relationship are usually stronger, (unless one works on it through role playing and such) than as time goes on. Being pleased sexually, although not the only part of a relationship that is important, it truly should be up towards the top.

 

I hope this helps. Good luck, and great sex. Keep us posted, as your situation may very well help someone else.

 maybe talk to another man, and sea what he can do..and what advice he can give you....what my friend did, was get her husbands best friend to randomly jut start talking about this, and get him in the mood and idea... to do his...it worked well...ad easily...men are sometimes volernable tha way..! sometimes...!

Maybe you are afraid to say how you feel/what you want, because this is a very sensitive topic and many men have a difficult time accepting criticism, even though this is constructive criticism. My advice to you is to approach your boyfriend when you are NOT having sex; talking about this issue during or near sex will get you nowhere. (He won’t be thinking/considering your words because there is a singular focus!) Remind yourself that to get your needs met, you MUST talk about this. Otherwise, this is going to be the downfall of your relationship; a relationship with a man who you described as “wonderful, caring and attentive.” Approach him with the goal of having a conversation, the type of conversation that will help him to understand and learn from you. In other areas of life, does he demonstrate the ability to do that? To listen to your thoughts/feelings/opinions, consider them, and then, either agree or present his opinion? Hopefully he does. This is a sensitive subject, so I suggest using what is called the ‘validation method.’ The ‘validation method’ is when you give a compliment, then state your want/need, then close with another compliment. I’ll give an example with a simple topic, like taking out the trash:
“Hon, I love you so much! I’m running late so will you take out the trash? Thank you- I appreciate your help and all that you do for me!”
Notice the “sandwich” effect? It really works. I use this technique pretty much every day. Now apply it to your issue. You might say something like, “You are a wonderful, caring and attentive man, and I love you so much. When we are in bed, would you be willing to try some new things with me? I’ll guide you, all you have to do is be the willing to learn student. I appreciate your willingness to please!”
I really hope that this is helpful for you- I wish you the best!

I have never told my bf, but I was sexually abused by my bio-father and my best friends father. I have also been physically and emotionally abused by several boyfriends and one of my ex-husbands. My wonderful bf has asked me what I would like or if I have had any "fantasies", but I have been too embarrassed to tell him what I want to try or do. How do I tell him without being embarrassed about it?

Help Please!!