Topic : Body Image & Sex Appeal

Before I answer completely Honestly because that is what I AM all about because quite frankly why would I even be here improving my life really?  May I ask you a question please?  Who is the person posing the question and what is your function and qualifications here at the Dr. Phil message boards.  Thank You very much for your response to my questions.  This is not a gun in your face nor do I take these questions light hearted airy or fun..  This place Dr. Phil.com actually saved my life 53 days ago I kind of think of it as a "Think tank" and I appreciate your response.  Thank You.  xox

I will respond....When My question is answered and BOY is it a DOOSIE!

For me, this is a really hot item. I know that I avoid relationships because of the way I look (I'm wheelchair bound and had several surgeries). When I see a woman I like, I don't dare to approach her, just because of this. This is especially the case when the woman is very good looking. I guess I feel intimidated then, and back off immediately.

 

Jo

LOOK SWEETIE LOOKS ARN'T EVERYTHING I HAVE BEEN IN MANY SHALLOW BASED RELATIONSHIPS WHERE ITS ONLY LOOKS  AND I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU I WOULD SO MUCH RATHER FIND A MAN I COULD RELATE TO AND HAVE SERIOUS TALKS WITH AND SOMEONE CONSIDERATE ABOUT MY FEELINGS AND WHO ACTUALLY CARES WHAT I HAVE TO SAY I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU JUST BECAUSE YOUR IN A WHEEL CHAIR DOESNT MEAN YOU SHOULD FELL YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING TO OFFER A WOMAN SERIOSLY YOU HAVE SO MUCH MORE GOING FOR YOU AND FROM YOUR PICTURE YOU DONT LOOK SO BAD SO GOOD LUCK IN FINDING THAT GIRL THAT CAN SEE THE TRUE YOU BECAUSE IF THEY CANT THEN THERE NOT WORTH YOUR TIME

 

                                                                                                                                 KAYLEE

Hello Kaylee,

 

I know you're right, I really do. It just has to sink in.

 

Jo

THATS WONDERFUL I HOPE IT DOES AND I HOPE YOU FIND THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOUR LIFE COMPLETE AND  MAKES YOU FORGET ALL OF YOUR WORRIES. NOW CAN I ASK YOUR ADVICE ON SOMETHING I KNOW THE ANSWER IS PRETTY CLEAR BUT I JUST NEED TO HEAR IT FROM SOMEONE ELSE IF YOU WERE DATEING SOMEONE AND THEY COMPLETLY TOOK YOU FOR GRANTED I MEAN I DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM YET NOTHING IS ENOUGH HE'S SO HORRIBLE TO ME HE ABUSES ME (VERBALLY,MENTALLY , AND PHYSICALLY) AND I KNOW ITS NOT RIGHT BUT I ALLOW IT BECAUSE I LOVE HIM AM I STUPID FOR STAYING WITH HIM. I'M ONLY ASKING BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I CAN TALK TO YOU IF I'M INTRUDEING PLEASE JUST TELL ME TO LEAVE YOU ALONE SORRY I NEEDED TO GET IT OUT.

                                                                                                                          KAYLEE

Dear Kaylee,

 

You are not intruding at all. Why would I go on these boards if I wasn't prepared to answer a message? So don't worry about that.

As far as your boyfriend is concerned: GET REAL GIRL!!! Please explain to me how you can love a guy that abuses you mentally, verbally and physically, and takes you for granted, as I am too stupid to understand that.

Why do you keep up with someone that treats you like dirt? How do you think about yourself? Don't you think that you deserve WAY BETTER than this?

 

I surely don't want to put words in your mouth, but I have a strong feeling that you have a very low self esteem otherwise you would not accept this situation.

 

To answer your exact question as to what I would do in that situation: I would not have dated that person in the first place. If I ever get to date a woman that treats me like you describe here, I kick her ass to the curb. I would never ever accept such a behaviour because i'm too good for that. And that has nothing to do with arrogance, it is simply my idea that I deserve better than to be treated like shit. (sorry for the expression).

The same counts for you: you deserve better than you're getting now. Look for a guy that feels the luckiest guy in the universe that he has you for his girlfriend. You deserve no less than that.

 

Jo

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ANSWERING MY QUESTION I KNOW YOU ARE RIGHT I JUST WANTED TO HEAR IT FROM SOMEONE ELSE SOMETIMES THAT HELPS YOU KNOW. I KNOW YOU MUST THINK THAT I AM STUPID FOR EVEN ASKING IF THE ANSWER IS SO OVIOUS I HAVE JUST BEEN WITH HIM FOR FIVE YEARS AND I THINK MORE THAN ANYTHING I JUST GOT USED TO IT AND IT SEEMED EASIER THAN MOVEING ON BUT I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT I CANT EVEN TALK TO HIM AND COMMUNICATION IS SUCH A VITAL THING IN A RELATIONSHIP AND IF YOU DONT HAVE THAT THEN YOU SHOULDNT WASTE TIME  WITH IT SO SERIOSLY THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GREAT IT IS TO HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT STUFF I HOPE THAT YOU KEEP IN TOUCH EVEN IF WE DONT HAVE PROBLEMS WE CAN STILL TALK THANK YOU!

                                                                                     KAYLEE

OH AND BY THE WAY YOU WERE RIGHT I DO HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM I KNOW I HAVE NO REASON TO I'M A PERFECLY NICE PERSON AND I DONT THINK I LOOK ALL THAT BAD BUT I GUESS WHEN YOU HAVE SOMEONE TELLING YOU OTHER WISE ALL THE TIME YOU START TO BELIEVE IT!SO PLEASE KEEP IN TOUCH I LOVE TALKING TO YOU

You are right, if you're told that you're worthless all the time, you start to believe it. All the more reason why you should dump this guy. Communications is key in a relationship. If you don't have that, what else is left?

 

Sure, i'd love to stay in touch with you. Maybe we can exchange e-mail addresses (if you like).

 

Jo

YOU SEEM TO HAVE SUCH A WAY WITH WORDS YOU MAKE EVERYTHING SO PLAIN AND SIMPLE. AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT YES I WOULD LOVE TO EXCHANGE E-MAIL ADRESSES WITH YOU MINE IS  ( kaylee_m_1985).  I THINK IT WILL BE WONDERFUL TO FINALLY HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO IF YOUR UP FOR THAT. WELL I'M SORRY TO CUT THIS SHORT BUT I HAVE TO GO TO BED I HAVE TO WORK EARLY SO PLEASE E-MAIL ME OR JUST KEEP WRITEING ME ON HERE EITHER WOULD BE WONDER. THANKS AGAIN 

                                                                                                                KAYLEE 

 

HOPE TO TALK TO YOU SOON!