Topic : Body Image & Sex Appeal

I know it's hard to understand men sometimes.   

I guessed you were very young when I read this entry, so I went to your profile to see if you were, and you are!      I was right.   heh.

No one should make light of your feelings on this board and I'm sorry someone did.  

I don't think it's too bad for a young man to be looking at a skin mag.   It's what guys do...at least most I know.   I'm sure there are some young men who don't, but I'd guarantee you that most have.  I'm talking young men here....and I'm assuming your boyfriend is young....younger than 27?  

Men are visual creatures and when they're in their teens and early twenties, they're highly sexed....in their prime, so to speak.  It's practically biology.    Playboy is considered soft porn.   Naked women....eh, yeah it would be nice if they wouldn't look at that stuff, but for the most part it's harmless.    It can be a problem if it becomes an addiction driving him to look at harder and harder things.     Playboy...I wouldn't really worry about.   It doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive, it means he's a young man.  That's the peril of dating young men....they're in a very active time, sexually.    Personally, I always went for older men...they're more mature.

Also, if I read this right, I think what might bother you more than the fact that he's sneaking peeks at Playboy is the fact that he hid it from you.      I think it's pretty obvious why he did.    He knew it would upset you.  

You guys should definately talk, but don't attack him and try to make him feel like a bad person for doing this.  He isn't.   Just try to come to an understanding about both your needs.  Respect him as much as you need him to respect you and do....hard as it may be, try to take his age and hormones into account.   Looking at a Playboy isn't bad.  It would be great if you could find a man who keeps himself from such things.  There are some out there.   They are men of good moral standing. Not perfect, not immune to temptation, but they try their best to make right choices and not to hurt the ones they love.

Best of luck to you.  

Please stop calling people names here.   You may not think much of their problems, but they wouldn't be writing if they didn't need help.     If you can't offer help, at least try not to make them feel worse.

Ok I know first off that I am probably worrying about nothing... i just want to make sure..

Last night, we were messing around.  at first he was ready to go.  Then his guy decides not to work.  He keeps telling it isn't me, it's just weird.  Last night wasn't the first time.  It has pretty much been the whole time we have been together.  I am very self causious.  I have never had a great self esteem.  I wish i did.  I know i have nothing worry about.  I know that isn't the problem. 

Well it's not great for his self esteem either believe me, but still to answer your question:

Erectile disfunction can be caused by lots of problems and many of them are psychological. For instance stress can be a factor, or anxiety (also stress) because it is your first time together.

I don't think it has anything to do with you just make him relaxed next time it might help him to get into the mood. And it might be that it happened to him before which makes it more likely to happen again because there is more pressure on him for not failing again.

So in any case don't worry, it wasn't you :-D

Hi all...

new to the boards and hoping u can help... heregoes... 

I have recently started dating a guy who is really sweet and nice.. BUT he is extremely small whre it counts..  and I am used to being with "large" guys... I know i must sound shallow here but it is affecting the way I feel about this guy and Idont know if I can get passed this or not... obviously I wud not dream  of saying this to him.. Is there anything that can  done??  Have any of  u been in this  situation? or shud I just say goodbye now~??

ur advice pls...

xxxx

p.s. my connection is slow Icud have written lots mre..

I know men are going to hate this response, but you asked, so here goes.

Honesty is the best policy....but NOT with this man! 

Don't ever tell him that his size affects how you feel about him.

But do be honest with yourself and decide if this is a deal breaker for you and if it is, spare the both of you future problems and stop seeing him now while the relationship is still new.  

I know you can feel shallow for this, but try to  look at it as something else.    Say, a pot belly or heavy breathing that gets on your nerves or anything else that might affect an initial attraction.  

Attractiion is a tricky thing and as the sitcom "Seinfeld" reveals...even small issues can cause a problem.  

So....this is your particular problem.     And I use the word "problem" here because you're writing about it and are questioning whether you can deal with it.  I'm certainly not saying lack of size is a problem. 

I'm sure this man is very nice.   And if he's quality stuff and you are attracted to him in every other regard, you might try sticking with him a bit longer because I'm telling you, a good man is hard to find.

But as I said before, if your feelings are fading and the relationship is fairly new, it might be best to move on.

He won't be alone.  Some lucky woman who is fine with all of him will snatch him up and have a great life with him.  

Maybe he's just not for you.

And look at men!   They brag about being "breast men" or "leg men" or "ass men" and don't make any apologies for it!   Women are ALWAYS judged on their physical attributes.    Ugh...don't get me started!

so...just be kind...keep your mouth shut and decide what this man is worth to you and DO be honest with yourself.    don't try to force yourself to stay with someone just because he's nice  and you don't want to hurt his feelings. You won't be doing him any favors. 

Eh...I'm not sure I expressed myself very well.  

Just be nice and best of luck.   

Recently I left my partner a little note on the bathroom mirror that read

"I miss you and look forward to our evening together."

Doing these kind of things builds upon one's image and it creates an orchard that is ripe for the picking when it comes to sex. It helps when a partner helps build up a partner. So often we tear it down. JMO

Chris

Ok Ladies,   how about what was told to me. IT'S NOT THE SIZE OF THE WAND, ITS THE MAGIC IN IT!