Message Boards

Topic : Body Image & Sex Appeal

Number of Replies: 501
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:17:04 pm
Author : dataimport
How you feel about your own body translates into how sexy you feel and how your partner perceives you. What do you do to feel sexy?

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

April 23, 2008, 3:02 am CDT

feeling horrible

I just recently had a baby, a little girl named Emery on March 19,2008....shes beautiful. well, I know its only been about a month but i feel so horrible, so ugly and unnatractive. I was pretty overweight during my pregnancy, I was 195 pounds. once i had her i went down to 160 and i used to weigh 135.I know i shouldnt be expecting some kind of weight loss miracle or anything like that but my self-esteem is really low now and none of my clothes fit and it coming close to summer i want to wear shorts and to be able to be comfortable and run around go outside and play, but instead im stuck inside the dark house still wearing my maternity pants just feeling like a monster.My sex drive came back full blast too, but even my boyfriend can see how self concious i am now even around him.Ive been working out everyday and eating healthier but i went to the doctors for my check up i gained 2 pounds while working out. im not comfortable with myself anymore and i feel even more uncomfortable around other people. Does anyone have any tips or secrets to losing weight fast and staying slim? i am so desperate for anything please help me ill do anything to get rid of this stomach that makes me look like im still pregnant im in dire need of assistance help!
 
April 23, 2008, 3:42 am CDT

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: crisisorchaos

I just recently had a baby, a little girl named Emery on March 19,2008....shes beautiful. well, I know its only been about a month but i feel so horrible, so ugly and unnatractive. I was pretty overweight during my pregnancy, I was 195 pounds. once i had her i went down to 160 and i used to weigh 135.I know i shouldnt be expecting some kind of weight loss miracle or anything like that but my self-esteem is really low now and none of my clothes fit and it coming close to summer i want to wear shorts and to be able to be comfortable and run around go outside and play, but instead im stuck inside the dark house still wearing my maternity pants just feeling like a monster.My sex drive came back full blast too, but even my boyfriend can see how self concious i am now even around him.Ive been working out everyday and eating healthier but i went to the doctors for my check up i gained 2 pounds while working out. im not comfortable with myself anymore and i feel even more uncomfortable around other people. Does anyone have any tips or secrets to losing weight fast and staying slim? i am so desperate for anything please help me ill do anything to get rid of this stomach that makes me look like im still pregnant im in dire need of assistance help!
First of all losing weight safely and it staying off never happens quickly. Of course gaining is always another story. What really worked for me was doing DrPhils Ultimate Weight Loss. I read the book and filled out all the little projects in it and was true to myself in my answers. I changed my habits according to the diet and it was easy because I didnt feel deprived. It worked. I lost 15 pounds in no time. Also there is a message board on here where they all discuss what works for them as well as their pitfalls. Dont forget there are days where you also will need to listen to your cravings....but there can be healthy options for that too depending on what you are craving. My kids love ice cream so I found Skinny Cow for myself and they are wonderful not to mention 98% fat free. So anyway, best of luck to you. If anything go out on walks with your baby and enjoy the days of being a new mommy. (I found walking was best for me when dieting...I got up to walking 12 miles per day).
 
April 23, 2008, 8:18 am CDT

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: crisisorchaos

I just recently had a baby, a little girl named Emery on March 19,2008....shes beautiful. well, I know its only been about a month but i feel so horrible, so ugly and unnatractive. I was pretty overweight during my pregnancy, I was 195 pounds. once i had her i went down to 160 and i used to weigh 135.I know i shouldnt be expecting some kind of weight loss miracle or anything like that but my self-esteem is really low now and none of my clothes fit and it coming close to summer i want to wear shorts and to be able to be comfortable and run around go outside and play, but instead im stuck inside the dark house still wearing my maternity pants just feeling like a monster.My sex drive came back full blast too, but even my boyfriend can see how self concious i am now even around him.Ive been working out everyday and eating healthier but i went to the doctors for my check up i gained 2 pounds while working out. im not comfortable with myself anymore and i feel even more uncomfortable around other people. Does anyone have any tips or secrets to losing weight fast and staying slim? i am so desperate for anything please help me ill do anything to get rid of this stomach that makes me look like im still pregnant im in dire need of assistance help!

Hey one tip I can give you is this: don't watch your weight but measurre your waist. Why? Well fat is lighter then muscle tissue so in the beginning you might gain a bit of wait before you start loosing it even though your body starts shaping up. You might have lost musscle tissue during your pregnancy because you weren't as active as before.

And as the other message says do it in moderation, it takes a while. fasting or diëting is a bad idea anyday, in the long run it is bad for your health and will make you gain weight.

 
April 26, 2008, 7:27 pm CDT

Body Image & Sex Appeal

I think lingerie helps alot. I used to feel much better about myself until me and my partner were discussing sex a few days ago. She asked me if I felt I was doing everything to please her. (we've only been together a few months, but we're seriously involved). I said I didn't really know what she likes. She started to bring something up, then said "nevermind." I asked her what it was, but she refused to tell me. We got off the phone. I texted her (I knew she would tell me this way) and she said my physical flexibility was the only problem. (I'm pretty much a big girl). When I asked if it was about weight, she said I was overreacting. After interrogating her, I got the truth, and that was she wished I was smalled, but that didn't mean she didn't want sex.

 

Since then, I really dont feel sexy at all. Only self-conscious. I'll have sex because she wants it, but the whole time I can only think that something is wrong with me

 
May 11, 2008, 5:04 pm CDT

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: miizztriisha

I think lingerie helps alot. I used to feel much better about myself until me and my partner were discussing sex a few days ago. She asked me if I felt I was doing everything to please her. (we've only been together a few months, but we're seriously involved). I said I didn't really know what she likes. She started to bring something up, then said "nevermind." I asked her what it was, but she refused to tell me. We got off the phone. I texted her (I knew she would tell me this way) and she said my physical flexibility was the only problem. (I'm pretty much a big girl). When I asked if it was about weight, she said I was overreacting. After interrogating her, I got the truth, and that was she wished I was smalled, but that didn't mean she didn't want sex.

 

Since then, I really dont feel sexy at all. Only self-conscious. I'll have sex because she wants it, but the whole time I can only think that something is wrong with me

My opinion is that your girlfriend needs to get over it. You have only been together for a few months and I am just guessing that you were maybe intimiate before this incident over the phone with her? She knew then what you were all about physically. Its too bad that because of this you feel self-conscious during intimacy. Think of yourself as STILL being SEXY and tell your girlfriend that big girls rule anyways! Size does not matter. Flexibility does not matter. A pin-point connection filled with emotion between two people in a relationship is what DOES matter! Good luck!

p.s. Im a big girl too and all i have to say is BIG GIRLS RULE!!!!!!!!!! I'm 5'11 and weight 220. Yes, I just typed that for the ENTIRE world to see!!! Go me!!!!
 
May 12, 2008, 8:25 pm CDT

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: angel_in_ny

My opinion is that your girlfriend needs to get over it. You have only been together for a few months and I am just guessing that you were maybe intimiate before this incident over the phone with her? She knew then what you were all about physically. Its too bad that because of this you feel self-conscious during intimacy. Think of yourself as STILL being SEXY and tell your girlfriend that big girls rule anyways! Size does not matter. Flexibility does not matter. A pin-point connection filled with emotion between two people in a relationship is what DOES matter! Good luck!

p.s. Im a big girl too and all i have to say is BIG GIRLS RULE!!!!!!!!!! I'm 5'11 and weight 220. Yes, I just typed that for the ENTIRE world to see!!! Go me!!!!
I get what you are saying, but, is this something that should NEVER be brought up? I mean, weight CAN be a real issue for people, not all people can be physically attracted to people of all weights.
 
May 13, 2008, 8:38 am CDT

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: PennyLane78

I get what you are saying, but, is this something that should NEVER be brought up? I mean, weight CAN be a real issue for people, not all people can be physically attracted to people of all weights.

I agree. this is true too. Thats why I wish more people would love with their hearts, not their eyes.

 
May 22, 2008, 2:40 am CDT

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: angel_in_ny

I agree. this is true too. Thats why I wish more people would love with their hearts, not their eyes.

Well, I think that loving with your eyes is part of loving with your heart. Just as much as your nose, sense of touch, hearing and taste are. Your senses determine together if you like someone or not. Maybe in the first instance you will look at a partner and see a confident person, see a face with certain key-elements wich display youth and health.

Then you'll approach them and you will talk to them hearing a vioce you feel comfotable with, a voice which interests you. The eyes see a person that is displaying interest in you. A smile on a face.

You will smell their body odor, subcounsiously getting information about there imune system and consiously getting a smell which give you a pleasent feeling.

You touch the person liking how the feel they touch you indicating they are really interrested.

You kiss, approaching their face you can see the details of theirs. the lips touch you close your eyes so that you can feel taste smell and hear the other person even better.

 

You see loving is done with your senses, including the eyes. that doesn't mean that you need to be skinny as a woman. Not every man likes the same kind of woman. It is much more about confidence. You need to display your interrest in the other person, 70% of communication is done without speaking you know.

www.sirc.org has an extensive guide to flirting if you are interrested.

 
June 16, 2008, 12:25 am CDT

sorry but...

i will admit that i am kinda easy on the eyes, it didn't help my significant other left me for someone else. there will always be someone prettier out there. I feel hopeless. i don't want to "get back on the horse" bacause this is too much pain. I don't want to die alone...HELP!!!!
 
June 16, 2008, 11:49 am CDT

He won't touch me

I'm currently overweight and have been for several years.  I'm in the process of trying to lose the weight, but it's a slooooow process.  My husband will not be intimate with me.  We've been married two years and have made love once.  We are both 45.  We kiss, hug and cuddle alot but that's as far as it goes.  I feel that I repulse him.  He says he just has no sex drive and that it's not me.  I do things to "pleasure" him, but it is never reciprocated.  I don't believe that he doesn't have any sex drive.  I do believe that he just doesn't have one with me.  Help....what can I do.  When I'm around my husband I feel repulsive and disgusting.  He tells me I'm beautiful and thinks the problem is in my head. 
 
First | Prev | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | Next | Last