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Topic : Body Image & Sex Appeal

Number of Replies: 501
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:17:04 pm
Author : dataimport
How you feel about your own body translates into how sexy you feel and how your partner perceives you. What do you do to feel sexy?

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April 11, 2009, 3:56 pm CDT

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: hs120906

Hey

This is my first time doing this.  I have a daughter that is 14 months old, and she's the best thing that has ever happened to me.  I love her very much, and my husband and I are very happy.  I feel like I'm stuck in a rut though.  I still can't manage to lose the rest of my baby fat, and it's embarasing.  My husband still thinks I'm sexy, but it's hard for me to think of myself the same way.  He's very loving, but I hate the way I look.  I've tried walking a couple of miles everyday, and I try to eat better, but it seems like nothing helps!  If anybody has any ideas or encouragement I would love to hear from you. Thanks!

Get a gym membership. You need to start the treadmill, and stay on it for an hour, at first at a fast walking pace, then at a running pace, then start with "wind sprint intrevals"....a couple of miles a day of walking probably is going to barely maintain you. You need to get your HR up, talk to a Personal trainer about this. You need to run 5-7 times a week, only resting when your body is very fatigued, the weight will come off with TIME. Be patient.
 
April 11, 2009, 4:02 pm CDT

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: miss_kismeta

i will admit that i am kinda easy on the eyes, it didn't help my significant other left me for someone else. there will always be someone prettier out there. I feel hopeless. i don't want to "get back on the horse" bacause this is too much pain. I don't want to die alone...HELP!!!!
 You are in the process of healing. Let it phase out, and soon you will be "back on the town" with your girlfriends, and taking different offers from different men, Go for looks if you wish, but there are other things as well. Compatibility is important. Try to stay away from the playas and the dope dealers. Try to find someone REAL or you will land up in the same predicament as before.
 
April 22, 2009, 5:29 am CDT

i tried..

Quote From: alucard_087

 You are in the process of healing. Let it phase out, and soon you will be "back on the town" with your girlfriends, and taking different offers from different men, Go for looks if you wish, but there are other things as well. Compatibility is important. Try to stay away from the playas and the dope dealers. Try to find someone REAL or you will land up in the same predicament as before.
he's actually the exact opposite of who I date. He was a band geek. It seems that at least with the playas you know what you're in for
 
April 24, 2009, 12:16 am CDT

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: alucard_087

 Have you seen the Valerie Bernadelli commercial or People Cover? She is 48 years old and a mommy and looks like a Playboy model. Now, not everyone is her and can afford Jenny, and a personal chef and trainer. BUT if you really want to lose the weight, it is called "ganas" in Spanish. It means "the desire"....do you really want to leave the Dr. Phil Show behind and go to the gym, and get on the Treadmill for an hour? Do you really want to give up the rich desserts and the McDonald's treats 4 times a week? I had someone who was once special, and she gained 40 pounds after the pregnancy. I am going to sound like a real jack*** here, but the bottom line fact was, as much as I loved her, the desire just wasnt there anymore. She really couldnt turn me on, and this affected our relationship DRAMATICALLY, especially when I would see my friend's and relative's spouses hitting the gym after 2-3 kids and maintaining the body of a 22 year old. Their hubbies were NOT complaining, and they had great relationships. It sounds superficial and hateful, but taking care of our bodies REGARDLESS of jobs, kids and pregnancies is flat out RESPECTFUL of ourselves and our spouses/signifigant others. She would often complain when I spent a lot of time at the gym. So I stopped going, put on weight, and guess what? The little snide comments about my additional weight started right away. I flat out feel better when I weigh a certain amount and fit into certain favorite jeans. It makes me feel sexier, and more outgoing, interested in life. I happened to run into an old friend from 20 years ago, high school, and her body was still the same as then. Guess what? She defintley triggered me sexually. Get yourself a gym membership and an even once every pay period personal trainer, Eat healthier, your sex life will thank you for it.
well there are benefits to maintaining your health and going to gyms and all that sort of jazz, try to appreciate yourself. Shug, you just had a baby and there is alot to get used to with that. Alot of life changes happen after such a thing. Your body will come back as long as you are trying to take care of yourself. Obsessing over it creates more stress and that will not help you lose your wieght. Try talking to your partner about  how you feel and see if he is willing to support you in your endevors to recapture your previous body image. In the mean time try to buy yourself some slinky piece of something that helps you feel good and let your man be proud of your body. Lose yourself to it and you'll begin to feel those old flames again. Also try to remember that not everyone shares the oppinion of  having to "respect your spouse" when it come to your bodies physical appearance. Men dont do half of what women do to maintain appearance or pleasure in those areas. Alot of your body will come back (maybe even all of what you had before) but , on the other hand it ma never be fully restored to what you are used to. Try to find your happy body compromise.
 
May 16, 2009, 10:54 am CDT

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: justme504

I am eighteen, and I have been dating my first and only boyfriend for three years. We waited two years to have sex since it was both our first time, until after we graduated. I thought the time would help but it hasn't.

Here are the problems:
1. I used to feel way more sexual before we had sex.
2. I used to weigh 115lbs in the beginning of our relationships and now I weigh 135lbs.
3. When we have sex I just feel like crying, sometimes out of pain (even though we have been active for eight months now it still hurts me) and sometimes because it just makes me feel dirty.
4. I don't enjoy anything sexual anymore. Not even kissing.
5. I am disgusted with myself, and I feel repulsive, I am so scared that he will leave me, or is depriving himself of something because I am so bland.
6. And this is probably the worst of all - I fantasize about other men. Not in the innocent "wouldn't it be nice" Brad Pitt fantasy...no, I think about accessible men. Friends of ours even, and I find myself enjoying their company more than I do his....I would never, ever, cheat on him. I'm just scared, scared that we will break up, scared that we will stay together forever.

I feel like the worst person in the world.
1. this can happen, you have waited for long so you build up a picture in your head of how it would be with him. when that didn't happen the way you liked you found him less attractive. There is also the possibility that you and he are sexually not a match so he does not do the things you like. Do you know what you like? maybe you can guide him towards what you like more.
2. it is normal to gain wait during a relationship but if you want to you could take up sports and start eating healthy. Do not go on a diet, this will only make you gain weight!
3. Well their are a lot of options as to why it hurts, please see a sexologist for that.
4. that probably has to do with the guilt you feel, talking with a sexologist could help you with that.
5. This to needs the attention of a professional sexologist.
6. Perfectly normal, nobody *just* thinks about their partner, never have and never will. The grass is always greener on the other side and besides it keeps you healthy to fantasize every now and again. Playing out your fantasy (and his too) might even make the sex more exciting. but only if the both of you like the idea.

In short I think you should speak about your problems with a professional. Preferably with a sexologist. these questions can't be answered on a board alone.
 
June 1, 2009, 2:40 pm CDT

sex apeal X1000

My future husband and I work out together all the time. We fined each other very attractive and we feel we are a sexually powerful couple. But sometimes i worry thats all i am to him in public, is eye candy. I am a Go Go dancer and he says guy watch me like crazy and that all these guys want me but he feels good knowing that he is the only one who can and dose have me.

 

How do i know thats not just him wanting to have to "hot girl" as his future wife also known as a trophy wife?

 
June 3, 2009, 2:36 am CDT

That answer is very easy.

Quote From: yuktonisk

My future husband and I work out together all the time. We fined each other very attractive and we feel we are a sexually powerful couple. But sometimes i worry thats all i am to him in public, is eye candy. I am a Go Go dancer and he says guy watch me like crazy and that all these guys want me but he feels good knowing that he is the only one who can and dose have me.

 

How do i know thats not just him wanting to have to "hot girl" as his future wife also known as a trophy wife?

Sometimes the answer is right there....but we can't see it.  I am not a go go dancer :) but I have been with guys that see me as a trophy and even my ex husband saw me as one, which is partially why I am divorced right now. But the thing I did was without neglecting myself hygenically, lol, I dressed down. I didn't show myself off so much. Wore less makeup, looser clothes so as not to attract the eye to my body, etc. If you want to know if a guy is really into you when you are hot, don't do anything to advertise you are hot, and if he gets pissy, then you know he only wants to show you off. If he says he digs your new style, then you got a keeper. Kimi
 
June 14, 2009, 2:27 pm CDT

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: yuktonisk

My future husband and I work out together all the time. We fined each other very attractive and we feel we are a sexually powerful couple. But sometimes i worry thats all i am to him in public, is eye candy. I am a Go Go dancer and he says guy watch me like crazy and that all these guys want me but he feels good knowing that he is the only one who can and dose have me.

 

How do i know thats not just him wanting to have to "hot girl" as his future wife also known as a trophy wife?

Well on the other hand he could be jealous...

Anyways to answer your question: if you would just be a trophy wife the relationship couldn't last. A real relationship needs to be deeper and can only work if two people connect on a deeper level (without wanting to sound really tacky) a good couple has two people who are alike in their personality. (even if that is not always apparent.
I mean he is a man so do cut him some slack for being proud he has the hottest girl all men desire (see it as a compliment) It's just the bonus. If you have a loving relationship there is much more for him you give, some things you are not even aware of.
 
June 16, 2009, 12:40 pm CDT

U.S.A. SEX and Nudeism

I just got done watching the Movie SIRENS. My relitives think it is Porn? I am a white Male lived a large part of my life in Napoli Italia Europa, Naples Italy in Europe for most of americans that can,t read a map or know what state thier in. All my life and military carreer I was surounded by prudish sexist men. Oh my god dudes look at the titties. Its a 2000 year old statue dummy. As a kid I use to go skinny dipping. I got into the Nudist or Naturist life style late in life. Just got Adventures and looked into it. As a kid I saw the Movie SHOOT in the Dark, with Peter Sellers where he goes in a naked Resort .and thought whats it all about. Most or all the people I talked to siad it was an Orgie free sex plase. But I found they really dident know what they were talking about kind of a childish dume giggly no nothings. So I got breave and went. No Sex just a family park. Just like any other park just no clothes. Mom Dads Kids playing no fights druges drunks the safest plase in the world no guys bugging the women for sex, Crime 0. As free and next to god as you can get. Now I see why most europeans laugh at us we are truelly backword and Petty. We would much rather see a man blow a womans breast off with a gun than see him kiss it and  and show any love. We,ll all burn in hell did you see that naked body,s. The Garden of Good and Evil. Grow-Up U.S.A. Males. I found FREEDOM of mind and Thought and siad NO! to stupied people.
 
July 6, 2009, 11:33 pm CDT

Compared to the professionals

Ive been with this guy for about two years .I'm 24. He is always criticising me about being "lazy" in bed. Honestly i'm not that experienced and I'm highly stressed and Its hard for me to summon that inner porn star that he wants because I really don't find myself attactive AT ALL unless I'm fully dressed (that way I can hide the gut and every thing else) .I'm really self concienced and then its been times when I've tried to be the -i guess u would say- the "aggressor" (b/c he complained about always having to initiate) , he'll stop suddenly and say "I'm good" and go do something else or go to sleep with no explaination, which makes me feel even worse. So now I'm left thinking its something I did, so now I don't want to do anything cuz I dont want to mees up the mood when it arises. I know it has to be some things I do right ( I know of a couple) But I cant always do the same thing. And feeling as fat as I do I cant even focus on whats going on because I'm thinking about what he's seeing when he looks at me. He tells me I'm not fat, he's told me "If I didn't think u were sexy we wouldn't even be here right now" he's actually been mad at me and said I hurt his feelings when I told him I really don't beileve that he finds me attractive. He watches alot of porn, He's said in the past it was because of me and I believe when he cheated on me it was because of my inability to perform. however, get a couple drinks in me (not like falling down drunk)  so I'm not thinking so hard (I still rememver everything I do)  That porn star comes out, but  sober, with all thoes thoughts in my head, even if I had a step by step instruction guide with 100% guraunteed results I'd still be too self consience to do it. Then he tells me i dont know how to have an orgasm which also adds to the stress and pressure.
 
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