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Topic : Body Image & Sex Appeal

Number of Replies: 501
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:17:04 pm
Author : dataimport
How you feel about your own body translates into how sexy you feel and how your partner perceives you. What do you do to feel sexy?

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January 7, 2006, 1:05 pm CST

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: nikki_pvn

There is so much more to a person than just a body and boobs. 

  

The fact that your husband told you that he likes to have a look at 'perky breasts and tiny bodies' doesn't  mean that he will jump one first chance he gets,  I honestly think that if he had other intentions or did not feel the way he does about you he would not have been so open about it. 

  

You are the mother of his children,  and I presume that his love, care and pride for you and them exceed far beyond some perky breasts on tv. 

  

I can totally understand you being insecure about this,  talk to him tell him how you feel. If he isn't into porn sites, etc., I really think that you don't have to worry that he will do something stupid. 

  

Talk things out with him as life is too short and precious to waste on being miserable and sad. 

  

Good luck! 

My fiance told me that if there was a woman bare breasted that he was going to look. He likes boobs. I have no ill feeling about this because he is a man and he was honest with me. It does not mean that he is going to cheat on me. I have no worries about that. Some men are like that. If he sees a woman bare chested then he is going to look. I'm glad that we talked about it. You have to know yourself as far as what you are willing to put up with. If that makes you uncomfortable, let him know. I'm sure that both of you are adult enough to handle this. Have fun with that knowlede. I do ;)
 
January 8, 2006, 12:02 am CST

overweight and little sex

  I've never posted here before, I am a recently married woman that is about 35 pounds overwheight - all of which I've gained since our marriage in May.  I absolutely hate the way I look.  I don't want my husband caressing or kissing my stomach - or even to look at me naked.  sorry folks, I think my boobs are too small and my stomach and but too big.  Who would be attracted to that?  I had a hysterectomy the fall before we got married and now have a huge ugly scar.  No kids which I desperately wanted and just a fat stomach!  I was raped 3 years before we got married, had never had sex with anyone else - my virginity was taken in every way and I can never get that back  nor could I give it to my husband. 

   We rarely have sex as he is older and has a hard time having an erection.  I feel like it's my fault and he is unattracted to me.  The couple of times we have tried to have sex, we don't fit.  I am too small for him - it is very frustrating for me.  I know I push him away at times.  What can I do?  I want to want to have sex.  I want to be able to have sex.  I don't know if it's even worth trying anymore.  I am only 34 and he is 48.  jewels 

 
January 8, 2006, 8:09 pm CST

pregnancy is sexy

Quote From: stefywi

I am wondering if there are any pregnant women out there, who feel really ugly, because of the MASSIVE LOAD they are carrying in the front, honestly, I haven't even seen my parts in months and forgot what they look like, and I have a hard time believing that my fiance stil finds me sexy. 

Does anyone, or has anyone felt the same?  When he met me, I was fit and active, I was at my goal weight and very attractive even by MY standards, which says a lot.  But now I feel awful.  I can't even get socks on anymore, but he's still trying to convince me that I am sexy.  

Please share your feelings about this.  

Thanks  

  

I am due to give birth soon and I can tell you my husband can't get enough. 

This is my second child the first leaving me with stretch marks up to my belly button, never once has my husband said anything about it and why?? We have a beautiful daughter and one on the way, trust me this not feeling sexy thing will seem very insucnificant when you first hold that beautiful child in your arms and fall in love so fast, we tend to forget ourselves and focuse completely on them as we should. My husband and I met at 19 and let me tell you I haven't kept the six pack, he still tells me I'm gorges and that he loves me and thats all I need. Pregnacy lasts 9mnths  and you'll be heading back to normal in no time enjoy the kicks and movement and embrace this time. I hated being pregnant with my daughter but I missed it when it was over. 

  

  

good luck 

 
January 12, 2006, 10:34 am CST

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: stefywi

I am wondering if there are any pregnant women out there, who feel really ugly, because of the MASSIVE LOAD they are carrying in the front, honestly, I haven't even seen my parts in months and forgot what they look like, and I have a hard time believing that my fiance stil finds me sexy. 

Does anyone, or has anyone felt the same?  When he met me, I was fit and active, I was at my goal weight and very attractive even by MY standards, which says a lot.  But now I feel awful.  I can't even get socks on anymore, but he's still trying to convince me that I am sexy.  

Please share your feelings about this.  

Thanks  

I am a 24 and a mother of 2. My husband could not get enough of me when i was pregnant. It could be 8am 1 if the afternoon, or bed time, he didnt care. MEN FIND PREG. WOMAN SEXY!!!!!!!! many of my husbands friends say as well, they find their preg wifes sexy. what could be sexier than creating a life inside of you. Trust me, you may feel horrible and ulgy, but when your baby comes out  and its 6 months postpardum, you will miss the feel of your little one inside of you . enjoy your pregnacy and take every complament your man gives you.  

our daughter is almost 2 now and my husband still talks about sex when i was pregnant. men love it. 

 
January 13, 2006, 2:33 am CST

who cares

      I am a young women. I feel the pressures of society... stay thin... be beautiful. I am no angelina but i feel that i am attractive. Lots of men hit on me, ask me out , and always say... you are hot!!!! but  I don't always feel that way. My husband to be seldom touches me, and he almost never makes me feel attractive. When he does... it's during sex. Then he will tell me how great i am . Duh?..... what guy wouldn't. I want to feel beautiful all the time, especially when i am with him. Why must i take other guys' compliments? My boyfriend needs to step up right?  Because of this I feel i should look more like angelina, then he would say i'm hot!!!
 
January 13, 2006, 3:29 am CST

with respect

Quote From: jsdbaker

  I've never posted here before, I am a recently married woman that is about 35 pounds overwheight - all of which I've gained since our marriage in May.  I absolutely hate the way I look.  I don't want my husband caressing or kissing my stomach - or even to look at me naked.  sorry folks, I think my boobs are too small and my stomach and but too big.  Who would be attracted to that?  I had a hysterectomy the fall before we got married and now have a huge ugly scar.  No kids which I desperately wanted and just a fat stomach!  I was raped 3 years before we got married, had never had sex with anyone else - my virginity was taken in every way and I can never get that back  nor could I give it to my husband. 

   We rarely have sex as he is older and has a hard time having an erection.  I feel like it's my fault and he is unattracted to me.  The couple of times we have tried to have sex, we don't fit.  I am too small for him - it is very frustrating for me.  I know I push him away at times.  What can I do?  I want to want to have sex.  I want to be able to have sex.  I don't know if it's even worth trying anymore.  I am only 34 and he is 48.  jewels 

         I am sorry for your bad luck; no really, i'm not just being sympathetic, but can also relate. I think you're like me. You feel so ashamed of your past that you cannot possibly be secure with your present. He knows but you wish he didn't. What happened to you is not your fault, and for the blow....you will never change it.  We must move on. Then we will be secure.. with ourselves and then with our partner. Then belly   fat and  small boobs will make no difference. We will be free in a sense that is free... and who cares what is "free." We will fix ourselves first. 

    As for the rest of your woes,  I don't know what to say. Worry less about scars and more about respect. I am sure he loves you, and hates to be closed out. If you love him, I think it will be more fulfilling to you, if you help him understand you, and let him touch your stomach. And if he can't usually get an eraction, he probably is not worried about kids. 

 
January 15, 2006, 9:11 pm CST

you guys are great

thanks nikki and seven for your input. i had never thought of it that way about my husband. my ex had left me for a 14 year old girl after 5 months of marriage and i guess i never got passed that so i've been taking it out on my husband to be honest i have a crush on vin diesal the actor and have for well since he first started acting my husband looks nothing like him but i too am not sexually attracted to him. i have felt so guilty about my own discretions that i was horrified when my beloved husband of 4 years admitted his with no guilt or remorse of his own. i took it way too hard for way too long. when i do it myself. thanks you two. Kat
 
January 19, 2006, 11:21 am CST

Do I EVER!!!!!

Quote From: stefywi

I am wondering if there are any pregnant women out there, who feel really ugly, because of the MASSIVE LOAD they are carrying in the front, honestly, I haven't even seen my parts in months and forgot what they look like, and I have a hard time believing that my fiance stil finds me sexy. 

Does anyone, or has anyone felt the same?  When he met me, I was fit and active, I was at my goal weight and very attractive even by MY standards, which says a lot.  But now I feel awful.  I can't even get socks on anymore, but he's still trying to convince me that I am sexy.  

Please share your feelings about this.  

Thanks  

I totally identify with what you are saying here!!!! I worked for a year and a half to lose nearly 100 pounds, got into the best shape I had been in for a very long time. Not a super-model mind you, but comfortably a size 8 with a semi-muscular build, decent tan and feeling relatively all right about my appearance. 

  

Now, 5 months pregnant, I have already gained almost thirty pounds, feel flabby as heck, it's getting hard to even shave anymore, I feel fat/frumpy/totally NOT attractive. I have had some early contractions so I am not supposed to walk/exercise a lot, and if I DO do too much I end up in bed again to get contractions to stop. This makes it very hard to even try to keep in shape at all which is frustrating because i had very grand plans about walking every day and keeping my body toned up and strong during this pregnancy. Yeah, right. 

  

My hubby says the same thing your fianc'e does...that I am beautiful right now partly BECAUSE of my big tummy with our baby growing inside of it, that I am the love of his life, blah blah blah....then I notice how he loves to browse boy-short ads and sexy underwear advertisements. Okay, THAT is NOT how MY butt looks, so I guess I can tell what he really does like to look at and it is definitely not me.  Nevermind the head-turning when we pass a beautiful young lady with it "all done right", while I am waddling along in this fat preggo body (should I even mention the moo-cow syndrome occurring just below my collar bone?? Where did these gigantc leaky things COME from???????). 

  

He can tell me all day long that I am the one he finds most beautiful and I am the only one he truly wants to look at, but frankly I don't believe it. I think he says that because he tries not to hurt my feelings but the truth is he would be ecstatic if my body looked like some of the other ones he looks at.  

  

Now, even as a size eight, I have the previous history of havingbeen heavy in the past and have borne two other children so my body and skin are far from perfect. I am in my mid-thirties so I don't have BAD skin, but I  do not have the skin of a teenager, either. This all means that even when I'm NOT pregnant, the view of my backside in a pair of tanga panties or lacy boy shorts is...well to put it politely...a little frighening. A little tight butt I DON'T have, and the one I DO have really ought not be dislayed in such dainties...yuk. Now, especially being pregnant I definitely do not have the guts to try wearing lacy little dainties, and I have a hard time even finding bras that fit in plain old white let alone some other pretty configuration. For now I am living with one tan bra that actually fits well and hoping that my really big not-maternity undies will fit for at least a while longer because I don't know what I'll do when they get too tight...haven't found maternity undies that don't "creep" badly. That's a whole nother complaint saga in itself. 

  

So now that I have totally gone ker-splat all over this messag board, I hope that if nothing else you might know that you are not alone in how you feel about all of this (seemed to me there were a lot of responses exactly the opposite of what you were experiencing), and that I really do understand and actually am struggling with some of the same things. 

  

Hang in there, perhaps we can chat a bit more. 

  

Blessings, 

"Feel like a Moo Cow" 

 
January 25, 2006, 2:34 pm CST

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: natsmom

I totally identify with what you are saying here!!!! I worked for a year and a half to lose nearly 100 pounds, got into the best shape I had been in for a very long time. Not a super-model mind you, but comfortably a size 8 with a semi-muscular build, decent tan and feeling relatively all right about my appearance. 

  

Now, 5 months pregnant, I have already gained almost thirty pounds, feel flabby as heck, it's getting hard to even shave anymore, I feel fat/frumpy/totally NOT attractive. I have had some early contractions so I am not supposed to walk/exercise a lot, and if I DO do too much I end up in bed again to get contractions to stop. This makes it very hard to even try to keep in shape at all which is frustrating because i had very grand plans about walking every day and keeping my body toned up and strong during this pregnancy. Yeah, right. 

  

My hubby says the same thing your fianc'e does...that I am beautiful right now partly BECAUSE of my big tummy with our baby growing inside of it, that I am the love of his life, blah blah blah....then I notice how he loves to browse boy-short ads and sexy underwear advertisements. Okay, THAT is NOT how MY butt looks, so I guess I can tell what he really does like to look at and it is definitely not me.  Nevermind the head-turning when we pass a beautiful young lady with it "all done right", while I am waddling along in this fat preggo body (should I even mention the moo-cow syndrome occurring just below my collar bone?? Where did these gigantc leaky things COME from???????). 

  

He can tell me all day long that I am the one he finds most beautiful and I am the only one he truly wants to look at, but frankly I don't believe it. I think he says that because he tries not to hurt my feelings but the truth is he would be ecstatic if my body looked like some of the other ones he looks at.  

  

Now, even as a size eight, I have the previous history of havingbeen heavy in the past and have borne two other children so my body and skin are far from perfect. I am in my mid-thirties so I don't have BAD skin, but I  do not have the skin of a teenager, either. This all means that even when I'm NOT pregnant, the view of my backside in a pair of tanga panties or lacy boy shorts is...well to put it politely...a little frighening. A little tight butt I DON'T have, and the one I DO have really ought not be dislayed in such dainties...yuk. Now, especially being pregnant I definitely do not have the guts to try wearing lacy little dainties, and I have a hard time even finding bras that fit in plain old white let alone some other pretty configuration. For now I am living with one tan bra that actually fits well and hoping that my really big not-maternity undies will fit for at least a while longer because I don't know what I'll do when they get too tight...haven't found maternity undies that don't "creep" badly. That's a whole nother complaint saga in itself. 

  

So now that I have totally gone ker-splat all over this messag board, I hope that if nothing else you might know that you are not alone in how you feel about all of this (seemed to me there were a lot of responses exactly the opposite of what you were experiencing), and that I really do understand and actually am struggling with some of the same things. 

  

Hang in there, perhaps we can chat a bit more. 

  

Blessings, 

"Feel like a Moo Cow" 

I can relate to both of you.  When I got pregnant with my first child I was in good shape as well and I gained over 50 pounds.  After I had her I lost most of the weight and then I got pregnant with my son I gained another 50 pounds.  I think that my kids are worth every pound and wish I could have another one.  I had to have a hysterectomy 2 years ago because of some major problems I was having.  Please feel so lucky that you can have children.   

And also, I think that any women that are pregnant are beautiful and sexy. 

 
January 26, 2006, 1:58 am CST

breast / areolae abnormality...?

hi everyone, i am a twenty year old female from northern california, and my post is about my body image sexually, so i will get to the point. i was very skinny and athletic through adolesence and did not start puberty until almost 16 years old, which i heard was very late. i heard this was considered delayed puberty.  Since then my menstral cycle and everything has been normal, and i have been on birth control for four years now.  

my breasts have made me feel different all my life, since highschool gym class... i noticed that other girls breasts had a more round shape to them, although mine were sort of round they were hardly there but my areolae were protruding, they looked puffy and swollen, not flatter like most girls breasts. this made them appear pointy, not like erect nipples, but the areola were puffy and made my breasts look pointy. my breasts most recently have gotten fuller as i am older now, and they were extremely late in developing...  

my areolae are really what bother me a lot. they havent changed and flattened out at all, they stick out when not erect (when my nipples are erect my breasts look round and 'normal') a lot and it makes me too self conscious to wear certain things, because most of the time my nipples are soft and protruding. i noticed no one else had nipples like me out of all my friends. i went online and every site i look at says this is a normal stage of breast development. breasts develop a mound on top t=of them where the areolae are, and it says that after that the final stage they flatten out and round out.  but i am 20, i think i am done growing my breasts, my breasts should have rounded out by now and the nipple should be flatter.  are my breasts not fully developed? will they develop or are they stuck at this premature stage? 

with the images the media bombards society with, women with breast implants, and perfect breasts, it makes me feel like if i ever get naked in front of someone they will think i look wierd. i know other girls have this and i looked it up on the internet thouroughly but i find no answers as to wether i am stuck like this for life or it will flatten as i age.  most articles about it say that the areolae will flatten and round out in the final stage of breast development, but i am already 20.  

i saw a picture of someone who has tuberous breasts, and my nipples look just like thiers, only on fuller breasts. can anyone let me know if they are experiencing this same thing, if it is normal, or if it will ever go away. i have what people call 'puffy' nipples. it doesnt look like anyone else's breasts i have ever seen except the ones i looked up online. 

PleaseREPLY! 

thanks for listening 

  

 
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