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Topic : Body Image & Sex Appeal

Number of Replies: 501
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:17:04 pm
Author : dataimport
How you feel about your own body translates into how sexy you feel and how your partner perceives you. What do you do to feel sexy?

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January 27, 2006, 7:20 am CST

beauty

Quote From: earnhardt3

I can relate to both of you.  When I got pregnant with my first child I was in good shape as well and I gained over 50 pounds.  After I had her I lost most of the weight and then I got pregnant with my son I gained another 50 pounds.  I think that my kids are worth every pound and wish I could have another one.  I had to have a hysterectomy 2 years ago because of some major problems I was having.  Please feel so lucky that you can have children.   

And also, I think that any women that are pregnant are beautiful and sexy. 

pregnancy was my favorite time in life.   

  

I have always ranged from a 10 to a 12 (14 once briefly) since puberty.  During pregnancy, I didn't want my  labor to be hard, I didn't want my baby to have unwanted fat cells and I didn't want to look bad out of the hospital and lack energy, so I ate very  nutritionally during pregnancy.  Lean chicken, fatty fish, tons of veggies and fruits (not fried veggies) and 5-7 servings of whole grains every day.  I ate ALL I wanted of these things but stayed away from saturated fats and sweets.    

  

I'm 44 now and boy did it go fast.  My precious babies are 26, 22 and 14.  Pregnancy is an amazing time and it only lasts a few months.  Enjoy it and take care of your beautiful self and baby.  You're part of a miracle right now! 

  

All blessings your way!!!!!!!! 

 
January 30, 2006, 8:20 pm CST

Body Image & Sex Appeal

 Well, I probably have low sex appeal since I have a rather negative  feeling about my body. Intellectually I have a strong self image but at 44 years old I am a virgin. Never had a girlfriend; I'm told that I'm too thin and women just aren't attracted to this. Maybe it's true. At any rate,  it's a bit difficult to have a great image of my self physically when  no women are interested in me at all. I must be lacking something.
 
January 30, 2006, 8:59 pm CST

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: roninfm3

 Well, I probably have low sex appeal since I have a rather negative  feeling about my body. Intellectually I have a strong self image but at 44 years old I am a virgin. Never had a girlfriend; I'm told that I'm too thin and women just aren't attracted to this. Maybe it's true. At any rate,  it's a bit difficult to have a great image of my self physically when  no women are interested in me at all. I must be lacking something.
Just a bit of advice ppl won't find you attractive if you don't first find yourself attractive! just let go and feel more positve and confident and they will flock to you! godo luck
 
February 5, 2006, 1:24 pm CST

Welcome to the world of perky nipples

Quote From: tarren

hi everyone, i am a twenty year old female from northern california, and my post is about my body image sexually, so i will get to the point. i was very skinny and athletic through adolesence and did not start puberty until almost 16 years old, which i heard was very late. i heard this was considered delayed puberty.  Since then my menstral cycle and everything has been normal, and i have been on birth control for four years now.  

my breasts have made me feel different all my life, since highschool gym class... i noticed that other girls breasts had a more round shape to them, although mine were sort of round they were hardly there but my areolae were protruding, they looked puffy and swollen, not flatter like most girls breasts. this made them appear pointy, not like erect nipples, but the areola were puffy and made my breasts look pointy. my breasts most recently have gotten fuller as i am older now, and they were extremely late in developing...  

my areolae are really what bother me a lot. they havent changed and flattened out at all, they stick out when not erect (when my nipples are erect my breasts look round and 'normal') a lot and it makes me too self conscious to wear certain things, because most of the time my nipples are soft and protruding. i noticed no one else had nipples like me out of all my friends. i went online and every site i look at says this is a normal stage of breast development. breasts develop a mound on top t=of them where the areolae are, and it says that after that the final stage they flatten out and round out.  but i am 20, i think i am done growing my breasts, my breasts should have rounded out by now and the nipple should be flatter.  are my breasts not fully developed? will they develop or are they stuck at this premature stage? 

with the images the media bombards society with, women with breast implants, and perfect breasts, it makes me feel like if i ever get naked in front of someone they will think i look wierd. i know other girls have this and i looked it up on the internet thouroughly but i find no answers as to wether i am stuck like this for life or it will flatten as i age.  most articles about it say that the areolae will flatten and round out in the final stage of breast development, but i am already 20.  

i saw a picture of someone who has tuberous breasts, and my nipples look just like thiers, only on fuller breasts. can anyone let me know if they are experiencing this same thing, if it is normal, or if it will ever go away. i have what people call 'puffy' nipples. it doesnt look like anyone else's breasts i have ever seen except the ones i looked up online. 

PleaseREPLY! 

thanks for listening 

  

Yup, that's what you have.  There's nothing wrong with it.  In fact, that's quite normal. I'd rather that than nipples that were larger than a door handle!!!  haha!! 

You're fine.  Try wearing padded bras so they don't show through so much.  You started your period at a time that is normal too.  Gymnasts, because their body fat is so low, they don't get their periods until they are around 17 or even up to 21 years old.  You are not weird or under-developed in any way.  Who knows what will happen with them, this may just be your body's style, or if/when you decide to have kids, if you breast feed or not, pregnancy totally changes breasts and nipples.   Unfortunately, usually making nipples larger and darker, but not neccessarily so. And also, I believe that the female body doesn't stop changing until after 22 years of age.   

Who knows what will happen, but you're fine!  Don't be ashamed! 

 
February 5, 2006, 1:49 pm CST

I gave up

Quote From: natsmom

I totally identify with what you are saying here!!!! I worked for a year and a half to lose nearly 100 pounds, got into the best shape I had been in for a very long time. Not a super-model mind you, but comfortably a size 8 with a semi-muscular build, decent tan and feeling relatively all right about my appearance. 

  

Now, 5 months pregnant, I have already gained almost thirty pounds, feel flabby as heck, it's getting hard to even shave anymore, I feel fat/frumpy/totally NOT attractive. I have had some early contractions so I am not supposed to walk/exercise a lot, and if I DO do too much I end up in bed again to get contractions to stop. This makes it very hard to even try to keep in shape at all which is frustrating because i had very grand plans about walking every day and keeping my body toned up and strong during this pregnancy. Yeah, right. 

  

My hubby says the same thing your fianc'e does...that I am beautiful right now partly BECAUSE of my big tummy with our baby growing inside of it, that I am the love of his life, blah blah blah....then I notice how he loves to browse boy-short ads and sexy underwear advertisements. Okay, THAT is NOT how MY butt looks, so I guess I can tell what he really does like to look at and it is definitely not me.  Nevermind the head-turning when we pass a beautiful young lady with it "all done right", while I am waddling along in this fat preggo body (should I even mention the moo-cow syndrome occurring just below my collar bone?? Where did these gigantc leaky things COME from???????). 

  

He can tell me all day long that I am the one he finds most beautiful and I am the only one he truly wants to look at, but frankly I don't believe it. I think he says that because he tries not to hurt my feelings but the truth is he would be ecstatic if my body looked like some of the other ones he looks at.  

  

Now, even as a size eight, I have the previous history of havingbeen heavy in the past and have borne two other children so my body and skin are far from perfect. I am in my mid-thirties so I don't have BAD skin, but I  do not have the skin of a teenager, either. This all means that even when I'm NOT pregnant, the view of my backside in a pair of tanga panties or lacy boy shorts is...well to put it politely...a little frighening. A little tight butt I DON'T have, and the one I DO have really ought not be dislayed in such dainties...yuk. Now, especially being pregnant I definitely do not have the guts to try wearing lacy little dainties, and I have a hard time even finding bras that fit in plain old white let alone some other pretty configuration. For now I am living with one tan bra that actually fits well and hoping that my really big not-maternity undies will fit for at least a while longer because I don't know what I'll do when they get too tight...haven't found maternity undies that don't "creep" badly. That's a whole nother complaint saga in itself. 

  

So now that I have totally gone ker-splat all over this messag board, I hope that if nothing else you might know that you are not alone in how you feel about all of this (seemed to me there were a lot of responses exactly the opposite of what you were experiencing), and that I really do understand and actually am struggling with some of the same things. 

  

Hang in there, perhaps we can chat a bit more. 

  

Blessings, 

"Feel like a Moo Cow" 

Yeah, I am now over 200lbs, I didn't listen to my mom, and I ended up with pre-eclampsia, so now I am not allowed to do anything.  And this child just keeps growing!!  I cannot even fit into a MEN'S 46 pants!!!! 

May I suggest you eat perfectly, my weight is nothing but water, which I found out by weighing myself in the morning, then at night, then in the morning again,  my weight fluctuates around 3 lbs everyday because of the water.  At the hospital ( I was hospitalized because I fainted when my bp was 146/108) they had me stay there for 24h observation, in a town NOT my own where I live, which was scary because I have a 4 year old daughter who was stuck with me until my fiance's mother came down to pick her up.  In total, I have gained, over 80lbs in water and baby.  Right now, I have a 7lb baby in me, and for God's sake, GET HIM OUT!!!!!  I'm not allowed to drive by myself anymore unless it's to the grocery store and people have to know where I'm going and I have to check in with them regularily, just in case I have a spell, and pass out while driving.  I have to check my bp at the drugstore whenever I go out and immediately go to the doctor's if it's above what he told me my limit is.  Take care of yourself and listen to the doctors  no matter how hard it is, cuz I screwed up and this is where I'm at.  But I physically don't think my body can gain anymore weight, because it's stopping, or maybe I'm in labour, that would be nice!  Right now I'm 37 1/2 weeks pregnant, and my son can come out now.  It's okay. 

Rest, relax, eat right, you only need 300 extra calories per day for this baby to thrive, you're not eating for two, you're eating for a pregnant woman, there's a HUGE difference!!  Eat an extra serving of dairy and one extra serving of veggies each day and that's eat, eat like you were before, and everything will be fine.  And, you're tummy will be squishy for the first bit anyway. 

Um, those panty ads, yeah, I'd throw those in his face and tell him if he wants a model he better be one to get one first and he better have fun with you and ignore those ads or else he'll realize what it's like to feel unattractive pretty darn soon.  At your hands.  But that's me, and I am EXTREMELY jealous.  Yeah, I tried a lot to try to make me feel sexy, like lingerie that stretches, he said he liked it, and it seems like he did, but, everything I do hurts, so undressing became a game of "How to lift the leg to get the panty off".  It stayed on. 

  

I hope not to scare you about this pregnancy of yours, but, like I said, I gave up.  A total whatever attitude came around, and I'm like, "Screw it"  There's nothing I can do now except wait.  And if I get upset, then I go back to the hospital, don't do that to yourself.  And talk to him about the panty ads, let him know how it makes you feel. 

Sorry for the delayed response, I've been quite busy with hospital and doctor visits and haven't been online.  But yes, I would like to chat with you more.  And know how you're doing. 

You hang in there too okay?  And know this, when you're not pregnant anymore, GO NUTS!!  Exercise and train your flabby ass off!!!!  I intend to!  (not to make you feel worse about the flabby ass part, I have one too!) 

 
February 5, 2006, 5:31 pm CST

Trying to keep up with fantasy.

I have to admit, I am neither ugly or beautiful when it comes to my body. I am pregnant and due any day now with baby #2. Any woman knows what having a baby does to her body. My boyfriend has a porn fetish. I feel ugly around him, and I am always ashamed when he sees me naked, especially right now with my big prego belly. He says he thinks I am beautiful, but said once that he wished my breasts were more perky. I wanted a boob job before, and now I really want one and my most desparate wish is that there was a way to remove stretch marks. He doesn't have a perfect body either, but I still find him to be attractive. This summer I want to lose weight so that way I will look sexier, for him. So he will want me, not anyone else. He has been with over 40 women, and that bugs me too because I know I am not the best, nor the worst. I try so hard to feel comfortable around him, and I really want to believe him when he says that he thinks I am hot. He says it's me he wants to be with for the rest of his life. But I can't help but feel uncomfortable. I feel like he thinks I look gross compared to the porn women. But if he really felt this way, he wouldn't have sex with me anyway, so obviously there is something desireable about me. I just wish that I could stop feeling like I have to compete with the fantasy.
 
February 6, 2006, 12:43 pm CST

Don't let him feed your insecurities

Quote From: artanis000

I have to admit, I am neither ugly or beautiful when it comes to my body. I am pregnant and due any day now with baby #2. Any woman knows what having a baby does to her body. My boyfriend has a porn fetish. I feel ugly around him, and I am always ashamed when he sees me naked, especially right now with my big prego belly. He says he thinks I am beautiful, but said once that he wished my breasts were more perky. I wanted a boob job before, and now I really want one and my most desparate wish is that there was a way to remove stretch marks. He doesn't have a perfect body either, but I still find him to be attractive. This summer I want to lose weight so that way I will look sexier, for him. So he will want me, not anyone else. He has been with over 40 women, and that bugs me too because I know I am not the best, nor the worst. I try so hard to feel comfortable around him, and I really want to believe him when he says that he thinks I am hot. He says it's me he wants to be with for the rest of his life. But I can't help but feel uncomfortable. I feel like he thinks I look gross compared to the porn women. But if he really felt this way, he wouldn't have sex with me anyway, so obviously there is something desireable about me. I just wish that I could stop feeling like I have to compete with the fantasy.

I know how you feel, but, if you are with ANY guy, you should NEVER compromise your emotional health and security.  You don't need a boob job, cuz if you did, you would have done it before him.. With a 2nd baby on the way, your boobs are just fine, doing the job they're supposed to do. 

Those porno chicks, are 16 years old, make money selling their bodies, and have surgery faster than they diet.  So, no matter what you do, you won't look like them.  Do what YOU need to get healthy, and remember this ALWAYS -- Your children are watching you, EVERY move you make, and whether you believe it or not, you portray your insecurities to your children, which will eventually end up with THEM having some sort of mental anguish towards themselves if they don't measure up to your standards of your body.  And also how your boyfriend makes you feel. 

Girl, I have stretch marks that are all the way to my ribs now because of this pregnancy I'm in, and I have over 80lbs to lose of it too.   Guess what?  I'm not losing the weight for my boyfriend or anyone else, I'm doing for ME.  Wouldn't it be nice to look at yourself one day and say "I did this, for ME.  This is MINE. I did this."  YOU,  YOU  YOU YOU YOU have control over YOUR life, not him.  This is yours, do with it what you want, but because you want to, not because he likes naked teenagers. 

 
February 13, 2006, 11:20 pm CST

looking for answers

    I have been married four years. The man i married was my best friend for along time. So i knew what type of woman he was looking for.Like most men skinny and blonde. When we married i wieghed maybe 110 lbs. The sex was better than anyone could dream of. One year after we were married my son from my first marriage passed away from cancer. This is my second marriage. Shortly after that i started getting sick i was having panic attacks. Then found out i had asthma, high blood pressure, nerve problems. The meds. i had to go on cause a lot of weight gain that was the side effect from the asthma meds. I have gained 60lbs. and don't know how to get it off. With asthma you have to be very careful. I don't eat that much. I don't eat things that are very fatting. I feel so fat and ugly i don't see how my husband can stand to look at me. But he always tells me he loves me and thinks i'm sexy.Now when we make love i make sure the light is out but its not the same. I'm afraid of losing him. I so ashamed of myself i make sure that anyone that knows me don't see me i hardly ever go anywhere I'm lonely, depressed, fat and ugly. Can any one help me? 

                                                                                                               Sherry 

 
February 14, 2006, 9:09 pm CST

he doesn't just look ...he stares

I am dating a guy that I love very much. I am also sure that he loves me. The only problem I have with our relationship is that when we are out he stares. I am not talking about just looking at other women...that I can live with...I am talking about staring so hard and so long that the woman he is staring at gets uncomfortable with it. It is like he goes into a trance and I disappear.  He will scan the room when we walk in and pick out one to stare at. He then watches her every move. To me this is disrespectful not only to me but to the woman he is staring at. We have had many discussions on this and he says he doesn't realize he does it. In fact he thinks I am making it up. It is always the same kind of woman. She is always slim, young and blonde all that I am not. He told me that he would have liked to have a woman like that but he knows they wouldn't want him...he's 53, so he found me. He said that he doesn't compares me to the other women. He said it would be like comparing apples and oranges. That we are different.  I already have a bad body image and for him to stare like he does makes me feel worthless. He said it is a man thing...just being a man and that he likes to "look" at other women. He said it makes him happy and that I shouldn't care, after all he is not actually having sex with them.  I have gotten to the place that I would rather not go out anywhere with him. I love him and I want him to stare at me just once like he does them. I asked him too, he tried...I'm just not it. I know men look, but this is beyond looking.
 
February 15, 2006, 5:55 pm CST

Body Image & Sex Appeal

Quote From: scat233

    I have been married four years. The man i married was my best friend for along time. So i knew what type of woman he was looking for.Like most men skinny and blonde. When we married i wieghed maybe 110 lbs. The sex was better than anyone could dream of. One year after we were married my son from my first marriage passed away from cancer. This is my second marriage. Shortly after that i started getting sick i was having panic attacks. Then found out i had asthma, high blood pressure, nerve problems. The meds. i had to go on cause a lot of weight gain that was the side effect from the asthma meds. I have gained 60lbs. and don't know how to get it off. With asthma you have to be very careful. I don't eat that much. I don't eat things that are very fatting. I feel so fat and ugly i don't see how my husband can stand to look at me. But he always tells me he loves me and thinks i'm sexy.Now when we make love i make sure the light is out but its not the same. I'm afraid of losing him. I so ashamed of myself i make sure that anyone that knows me don't see me i hardly ever go anywhere I'm lonely, depressed, fat and ugly. Can any one help me? 

                                                                                                               Sherry 

 Part of a marriage is trust.  Trust your husband when he says he still loves you and thinks you are sexy.  A lot of guys have the pre-set image of the perfect skinny blond woman that they want.  Then they usually grow up and realize that just because a woman is not 100lbs, and blond and perfect looking, she is still sexy, and attractive.  I am sorry about your son.  Let your husband help you grieve, and let him be there for you.  How bad is your asthma?  Is it too bad that you can't even walk?  Walking is an excellent way to lose weight, and it does not cause as much shortness of breath as other things.  How tall are you?  You say you were 110 when you married, and gained 60.  If that was the only gain, that would only make you 170.  I am 5'2" and 165lbs.  I have come to accept the weight, as it is not an unhealthy weight.  I'm just saying that unless you are really short, you probably don't look all that fat to anyone else.  Try waking up every morning, and saying to yourself "I am beautiful, inside and out".  Say it throughout the day, every time you look in the mirror, you get dressed, you feel bad, and after a while, you will start to believe it.  Ask your husband to tell you the same thing.  You will start to believe him too.  Just let him help you, if he is a good husband, he will want to.  I hope this helps.  Good luck.
 
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