Quote From: natsmomI totally identify with what you are saying here!!!! I worked for a year and a half to lose nearly 100 pounds, got into the best shape I had been in for a very long time. Not a super-model mind you, but comfortably a size 8 with a semi-muscular build, decent tan and feeling relatively all right about my appearance.
Now, 5 months pregnant, I have already gained almost thirty pounds, feel flabby as heck, it's getting hard to even shave anymore, I feel fat/frumpy/totally NOT attractive. I have had some early contractions so I am not supposed to walk/exercise a lot, and if I DO do too much I end up in bed again to get contractions to stop. This makes it very hard to even try to keep in shape at all which is frustrating because i had very grand plans about walking every day and keeping my body toned up and strong during this pregnancy. Yeah, right.
My hubby says the same thing your fianc'e does...that I am beautiful right now partly BECAUSE of my big tummy with our baby growing inside of it, that I am the love of his life, blah blah blah....then I notice how he loves to browse boy-short ads and sexy underwear advertisements. Okay, THAT is NOT how MY butt looks, so I guess I can tell what he really does like to look at and it is definitely not me. Nevermind the head-turning when we pass a beautiful young lady with it "all done right", while I am waddling along in this fat preggo body (should I even mention the moo-cow syndrome occurring just below my collar bone?? Where did these gigantc leaky things COME from???????).
He can tell me all day long that I am the one he finds most beautiful and I am the only one he truly wants to look at, but frankly I don't believe it. I think he says that because he tries not to hurt my feelings but the truth is he would be ecstatic if my body looked like some of the other ones he looks at.
Now, even as a size eight, I have the previous history of havingbeen heavy in the past and have borne two other children so my body and skin are far from perfect. I am in my mid-thirties so I don't have BAD skin, but I do not have the skin of a teenager, either. This all means that even when I'm NOT pregnant, the view of my backside in a pair of tanga panties or lacy boy shorts is...well to put it politely...a little frighening. A little tight butt I DON'T have, and the one I DO have really ought not be dislayed in such dainties...yuk. Now, especially being pregnant I definitely do not have the guts to try wearing lacy little dainties, and I have a hard time even finding bras that fit in plain old white let alone some other pretty configuration. For now I am living with one tan bra that actually fits well and hoping that my really big not-maternity undies will fit for at least a while longer because I don't know what I'll do when they get too tight...haven't found maternity undies that don't "creep" badly. That's a whole nother complaint saga in itself.
So now that I have totally gone ker-splat all over this messag board, I hope that if nothing else you might know that you are not alone in how you feel about all of this (seemed to me there were a lot of responses exactly the opposite of what you were experiencing), and that I really do understand and actually am struggling with some of the same things.
Hang in there, perhaps we can chat a bit more.
Blessings,
"Feel like a Moo Cow"
Yeah, I am now over 200lbs, I didn't listen to my mom, and I ended up with pre-eclampsia, so now I am not allowed to do anything. And this child just keeps growing!! I cannot even fit into a MEN'S 46 pants!!!!
May I suggest you eat perfectly, my weight is nothing but water, which I found out by weighing myself in the morning, then at night, then in the morning again, my weight fluctuates around 3 lbs everyday because of the water. At the hospital ( I was hospitalized because I fainted when my bp was 146/108) they had me stay there for 24h observation, in a town NOT my own where I live, which was scary because I have a 4 year old daughter who was stuck with me until my fiance's mother came down to pick her up. In total, I have gained, over 80lbs in water and baby. Right now, I have a 7lb baby in me, and for God's sake, GET HIM OUT!!!!! I'm not allowed to drive by myself anymore unless it's to the grocery store and people have to know where I'm going and I have to check in with them regularily, just in case I have a spell, and pass out while driving. I have to check my bp at the drugstore whenever I go out and immediately go to the doctor's if it's above what he told me my limit is. Take care of yourself and listen to the doctors no matter how hard it is, cuz I screwed up and this is where I'm at. But I physically don't think my body can gain anymore weight, because it's stopping, or maybe I'm in labour, that would be nice! Right now I'm 37 1/2 weeks pregnant, and my son can come out now. It's okay.
Rest, relax, eat right, you only need 300 extra calories per day for this baby to thrive, you're not eating for two, you're eating for a pregnant woman, there's a HUGE difference!! Eat an extra serving of dairy and one extra serving of veggies each day and that's eat, eat like you were before, and everything will be fine. And, you're tummy will be squishy for the first bit anyway.
Um, those panty ads, yeah, I'd throw those in his face and tell him if he wants a model he better be one to get one first and he better have fun with you and ignore those ads or else he'll realize what it's like to feel unattractive pretty darn soon. At your hands. But that's me, and I am EXTREMELY jealous. Yeah, I tried a lot to try to make me feel sexy, like lingerie that stretches, he said he liked it, and it seems like he did, but, everything I do hurts, so undressing became a game of "How to lift the leg to get the panty off". It stayed on.
I hope not to scare you about this pregnancy of yours, but, like I said, I gave up. A total whatever attitude came around, and I'm like, "Screw it" There's nothing I can do now except wait. And if I get upset, then I go back to the hospital, don't do that to yourself. And talk to him about the panty ads, let him know how it makes you feel.
Sorry for the delayed response, I've been quite busy with hospital and doctor visits and haven't been online. But yes, I would like to chat with you more. And know how you're doing.
You hang in there too okay? And know this, when you're not pregnant anymore, GO NUTS!! Exercise and train your flabby ass off!!!! I intend to! (not to make you feel worse about the flabby ass part, I have one too!)
