Quote From: ashley91I'm 33 & my boyfriend is 42. He's the most sensitive, caring man and I love him dearly. We've been together for two years. But it really bothers me that in the past, he's taped Strip Poker, has some playboy videos which I found hidden, which I'm almost positive he doesn't even look at anymore. Plus, he keep everything, like a packrat. And I'm annoyed to this day, that 6 months into our dating, he bought Showgirls. He had a girl pics/nude pics file on his computer and once he found out about how I feel about this, he deleted them. I looked and they're gone....except for 1, naked Geri Haliwell pics. A friend sent him a couple of girlie emails and he deleted them. Yes, I snooped and they're gone now, just like he said he'd delete them. He's totally willing to please me and doesn't want to hurt me or make me feel uncomfortable. I'm very attractive and I like dancing for him and I don't want him nor do I think he should be looking for this in anyone else. Do you think I should one day marry or live with him? This is the only thing that bugs me. I asked him a while back if he'd go to strip clubs now and he said no, but that he has been in the past. I know his family really well now and we've become so much closer in the past few months. I just wish he never got into this stuff and I don't understand why he did. Also, I've seen him notice other girls while with me in public, but I've never said anything. I'm getting to the point where I really want to. I just don't know if I should because I see practically every man doing it and it's happened to all my friends. Plus, I don't think he'd care if I noticed someone else unless i was totally staring. Please help!
I think it's nice that your boyfriend is sensitive and caring, but when you live with a person you love, you should avoid everything that makes the partner annoyed and should put the needs of your partner before your own. You wrote that you don't know if you should tell him something, when he looks at other girls in public, because you see many others doing it. Well I simply don't agree with that.
I'm married and my husband knows very well, that I get upset and annoyed if he looks at other girls. He don't do that. Not only is it disrespectful but considered a major sin in my religion. The second reason is enough for him to avoid that as we are very religious.
I actually think it's very impressing that you dance for him. The reason why I say that is because in my culture we women are encouraged to do these kind of things for our husbands, because it spices up the marriage- and sexlife. And when you feed your husband up at home, then he don't eat out (a saying in arabic).
You say that you wish he'd never got into this stuff.....well he did and you cannot change the past.
But I wouldn't marry him if this 'stuff' goes on.
I suggest that you talk with him about exactly what you wrote here. Tell him that you feel let down because of it. And if he really loves you, then all of this will be in the past. I'm sure it will.
Wish you all luck.
Fatimah
