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Topic : 11/14 Sisters at War

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Created on : Friday, November 10, 2006, 09:18:47 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
You’ve heard the old saying, “Blood is thicker than water.” Dr. Phil’s guests are putting that adage to the test! Colleen says her sister, April, committed the ultimate betrayal by trying to fix up her boyfriend and father of her children with another woman. April says her sibling is no angel, and claims Colleen dragged her out of bed and punched her in the face! After spending time on stage with the women, Dr. Phil sends them home with a special assignment: to watch their bad behavior on tape. Now, one month later, Colleen and April join him in the studio again. Does one sister owe the other an apology, or are they both to blame for their ongoing feud? Will the women find a way to move on and become sisters again, or is this relationship beyond repair? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More November 2006 Show Boards.


 
steelchair
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November 13, 2006, 12:20 pm PST

About blood and water

I want to join this discussion - not because I want to add another story about bad sistership. At the contrary. I would like to tell you about my good sister to sister relationship. The most significative about our relation - we are two sisters only - is respect. I think that if there is no respect there can´t be love, blood or not. Compared to a relation built on water, where you have to earn the other persons (friend) time, appreciation and maybee love too by treating him or her nice, a brother and sister relation more often is built on musts, demands and loyalty because of you are family. I think these two sisters have to begin with not interfering in one anothers private life, relations or other personal choices. If I go to my sister and ask for advice doesn´t mean she has the right to decide for me what to do or be upset if I am not following her advice. If she still does, well, pick another advicer. Some sisters compete in certain things for example who gets the most attention from that boy, who gets him (?), who has the highest/best education, the best work, the best salary etc? And if one of them or both have children, who do the children love the most, who has the best way of raising their children? This is so uninteresting if you remember that you are two different personalities with different interests and that your children can love your sister, their aunt, as much as they love you but in a different way. I mean YOU are still their mother. Nothing can take that away from you. You may even have to accept that your children might get something from your sister that they don´t get from you. If you focus on living your own life and be good at it and let your sister go on living hers you will find that it is far more easy to meet and exchange experiences without competeting or interference. If you are respectful to another person, sister or not, you´ll be treated back respectfully. And if you don´t believe me, why not at least try it?
 
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afraid
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November 13, 2006, 1:39 pm PST

wow i thought sisters only acted like this when they were little girls growing up!

i cant wait to see this show,but just from the preview i would say both of these sisters have alot of growing up to do,they seem to be acting worse than 10year old girls would act growing up, lol never a dull moment with these two i bet.><
 
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littletime4
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November 13, 2006, 3:20 pm PST

Sisters at war

Quote From: boobear328

This is starting to sound like my moms life already, I know what Im about to type may be a long post( sorry all but I do have to tell this for my mom) so here goes:

 

My mom was married to my father at the time, both her sisters slept with my father, she divorced him, later down the road( about 7 years later) she married a wonderful man that fell in love with her ( they later had my youngest  sister), 6 years later when one of my aunts moved in, she also slept with my step father while she(mom) was having knee surgery and her duration of the stay in the hospital( she was sharing a bedroom with me at the time, and wasnt sleeping in the room while my mother was gone,DEAD GIVEAWAY here is that my brother SAW them both walk out of the bedroom at the same time with ONLY a towel wrapped around them both, then later even after my mom got home from the hospital my aunt was hanging all over my step father more and more even us kids started noticing this, this is when i was 13) they later divorced(6 months later).

 

Now for the past 6, soon to be 7 years, mom and me are treated like outcasts of our family, NOONE calls, writes, or even comes over( but yet they can travel 2 hours to see another family member that lives on the way to that faily members home). My mother has made her peace with her mom and my mom and us kids ARE PAYING THE PRICE(the "ripple" effect sort to speak), some say it dont effect or "ripple" down to the kids, BOY ARE THEY WRONG!!! IT DOES! I KNOW first hand it does. And IF we do receive a phone call its usually harrassment by one of the aunts being hateful(we havent even seen her for over 9 years) we dont bother them why are they harrassing us like that? We WANT to be left alone just like we have done with them, we havent called and complained or anything of the like. the ONLY thing we can figure out why they are doing this to us is that the following reasons:

 

1. We are the ONLY ones of our family that graduated high school and went to medical training(Im a CNA, mom is a firefighter/paramedic).

 

2. We earn a honest living( we work full time and long hours) and have paid for everything we own with our hard earn money.

 

3. They are a money oriented family( in order to borrow money u have to play their so called game of if u want money suck up(talk to them) THAT ISNT the way I want respect for me or anyone else. They have shown favortism as well, if my cousins ask for moeny from them they recieve it with no problem but when I have asked to borrow gas money with the intention of paying it back I get looked down on( my cousin has his rent paid for quite awhile by my mom's mom but i cant ask for any without getting a BIG let down like im no good)

 

4. Maybe that they are jealous that we actually earn our way through life and they cant have the finer things.

 

5. WHO KNOWS!!!! what other reasons there are.

 

Sorry to bother anyone with this. Every year around the holidays its like this. They bother us with harrassing phone calls and we get upset over it every time. IT'S REALLY STARTING TO SUCK!

 

 

What I don't understand, is you seem to be more upset at your mom's mom than her sisters.  You seem to be upset at how you are treated compared to your cousins.  Why are you even trying to borrow money from any of them for heavens sake? I thought you both worked full-time, long hours?  Gas money? Let the rest of them borrow money, whatever, but you should concentrate on continuing to better your life as it seems you already have, learn to budget so you have gas money, it is important if you have to drive to work.  I am wondering if you ask for money more as a kind of test rather than an actual need. Like you know they wont give it to you so that is PROOF that you and your mom are outsiders.  Have you ever asked your Mom why you guys are treated as outcasts? What else happened that would make them mad at you guys?  Maybe your grandmother only knows yours Aunts side of the story.  Just trying to help and understand.
 
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yvls123
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November 13, 2006, 7:40 pm PST

I thought so too

Quote From: afraid

i cant wait to see this show,but just from the preview i would say both of these sisters have alot of growing up to do,they seem to be acting worse than 10year old girls would act growing up, lol never a dull moment with these two i bet.><
My sister & I are in our 50's,  Our dad died some 30 years ago.  Our mom, 8 years ago.  My sister is handicapped & on public assistance, & for that reason our mom never put anything in her name.  She bought her a house, put it in my name & asked me before she died that I take care of my sis.  I tried but it was a no go.  She was so upset that the house wasn't in her name I just paid it off & gave it to her.  I'll bet mom rolled over in her grave when I did.  I just couldn't take anymore fighting about it.  Now the only time anyone sees her is if we happen to see her in a store or riding her cart down the street.  I don't hear from her anymore.  I hope she's happy.  I'm sad.  Especially this time of year.  I don't even put up a X-mas tree anymore since mom died.  The holidays SUCK!
 
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purplepenny
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November 14, 2006, 12:38 am PST

11/14 Sisters at War

Quote From: riahkoko

i wish i could tell my sister how much i loved her but she gets on my nerves so much!!!!!!  she is only 14 and i am only 13 but still the fighting can be pretty rough.  s
My brother and I got on each others nerves at your age. He is a year younger than me. But now that we are older (he's 27 and I'm 28) we are really the best of friends. We call each other a few times a week, we visit all the time, he is an awesome Uncle to my daughter. We do each other favors and we trust each other with a lot of personal stuff.

I promise, it can and usually does get much better. There are very great sibling relationships out there. I am an example of one of them. I have another brother too, we aren't quite as close, but we are still very close. (He's 3 years younger than I am.)

So even though a show like this might scare you, not all sibling turn out this way. Some of us grow into good friends with a lot of respect for each other.

:o)
 
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ceildh1
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November 14, 2006, 5:44 am PST

This too Shall pass

Quote From: riahkoko

i wish i could tell my sister how much i loved her but she gets on my nerves so much!!!!!!  she is only 14 and i am only 13 but still the fighting can be pretty rough.  s

After reading your post, you sound to me like a good kid, and what you and your sister are experiencing are normal growing pains, take heart, as you get a bit older things will fall into place (my sister was ten when I was thirteen that was annoying ).

I know as a young teen ( and please forgive me if I sound Patronizing, it's a BAD adult habit I know ) things often seem worse than they really are, and as long as you two aren't being physical or too mean to one another, well belive it or not, this too shall pass, and I know neither one of you even Thinks that your parents could be gone someday, but that sadly is reality, and then all you have is each other.

I Love You can be hard to say, but actions do speak louder than words, and hey as for getting on your nerves, at the ripe old ages of thirty seven and thirty four, my sister and I still get on each other's nerves at times, and we still fight ( though now we call it active debating ), just try not to be hurtful when you do argue, it is easier than it sounds, I promise, and if your sister gets hurtful, try walking away telling her " I will be happy to speak to you when both of us calm down ", I don't know you or your family situation, but I hope it helps a bit.
 
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afraid
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November 14, 2006, 6:44 am PST

im very sorry to hear how sad life has left you

Quote From: yvls123

My sister & I are in our 50's,  Our dad died some 30 years ago.  Our mom, 8 years ago.  My sister is handicapped & on public assistance, & for that reason our mom never put anything in her name.  She bought her a house, put it in my name & asked me before she died that I take care of my sis.  I tried but it was a no go.  She was so upset that the house wasn't in her name I just paid it off & gave it to her.  I'll bet mom rolled over in her grave when I did.  I just couldn't take anymore fighting about it.  Now the only time anyone sees her is if we happen to see her in a store or riding her cart down the street.  I don't hear from her anymore.  I hope she's happy.  I'm sad.  Especially this time of year.  I don't even put up a X-mas tree anymore since mom died.  The holidays SUCK!
but you know what? i bet if you put a tree up this year and just think back to when you all were still children at home with your parents and remember trimming the tree together as a family, it will be possible for a little holiday magic to work its way in your life and lift your heart, try going to see your sister, if you live close enough together, if not try a phone call just to tell her how much you love her, it may not make her happy but it will make peace in your heart for a great holiday season, hears you something to look at and maybe it will help to take your mind off everything troubling you, this is gods art, he has created a beautiful butterfly,i bet your mom loved butterflies i know mine dose any way hope it helps it helpes me clear my mind of bad thoughts just looking at it, and sometimes i think i even see gods face as hes creating this if you look to the left of the left wing you too may see his face it looks kind of like a right side profile complete with beard  lol
 
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jasmine12532
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November 14, 2006, 6:58 am PST

Today's Show

Good morning.  My sister & I are in our early 50's, and we are as different as day & night.  We do not meddle, nit-pick, or annoy one another.  We do our best to respect each other.  We don't visit because of our husbands' difficulties, however, we do keep in touch with each other when we can.  This is how we keep-the-peace between ourselves. We don't meddle!  These two women should think about that. Best wishes for everyone.
 
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ssujoey91

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November 14, 2006, 7:16 am PST

Children in adult bodies

         Haven't seen the show yet,but checked out the slide show online.I think these two need to realize life's too short and that it's time to grow up.I've seen kids fight with more maturity.This sounds heartless,but I think this one will give me a good laugh.

        

 
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afraid
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November 14, 2006, 7:21 am PST

hahahahahaha

wow Dr Phil it really looked like you weren't going to get a word in with these two sisters  lol could you imagine how hard it would be to get a word in with 5 at a family reunion  hahahahaha
 
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