Topic : 11/14 Sisters at War

  I am 15 minutes into the show, and can't believe what I'm hearing. I lost my sister in 1992 to cancer and she was 29 years old.  I am so glad I was so close to her, that I finished raising her daughter and somewhat helped with the raising of her son.   I love and miss her so much.  She wasn't in my sons life.  He was 8 months old when she died.  I really wished these sisters would grow up!!! Like Dr.Phil just said, what would the other one do, if the other sister would die.   Believe me...........you don't want to know. 

Dr.Phil

I am shocked that sisters could be that way life is so short  why family can't get along I don't understand I just lost a sister in March thank  God I was able to help take care of her in her last days.   I lost my husband  On Nov.13th. of  1978.  He spent 20 years in The Air Force . retired in 1973 and was killed on the job in the oil fields in 1978. I thank God for a wonderful husband and Father . With out God and my Family I could not have made it this far.  I really enjoy your TV programs. God Bless you.

 Helen

Dr.Phil

I am shocked that sisters could be that way life is so short  why family can't get along I don't understand I just lost a sister in March thank  God I was able to help take care of her in her last days.   I lost my husband  On Nov.13th. of  1978.  He spent 20 years in The Air Force . retired in 1973 and was killed on the job in the oil fields in 1978. I thank God for a wonderful husband and Father . With out God and my Family I could not have made it this far.  I really enjoy your TV programs. God Bless you.

 Helen

I am an only child and always wanted to have a sibling to share things with.  It was very lonely growing up for me.  So I truly can't understand the relationship between these two sisters.  I do only have one question?  Why does Colleen keep insisting that both she and her boyfriend want to get married, but don't have the money.  Mayor at City Hall plus license fee = married.  Or if your preference is a religous ceremony, that too can be easily accomplished.  Followed by a luncheon for only immediate family and friends.   That is if you truly wanted to be married.   It would be nice to do it especially when there are children involved.  Money is indeed a very flimsy excuse.  If we all waited to get married to have the perfect and expensive wedding we all wanted, there would be few, if any, married couples around.

  I was thinking the samething why don't they "shut up" and duke it out!!  all the back and forth was rather annoying, atleast a boxing match would have been more exciting!

I'm watching this show and it's making me cry,  I lost my sister 3 years ago.  We were best friends and I talked to her 3 hours before she died.  I wrote a poem to help with her death.  I miss my sister so much, because we did fight but we always made up with each other.  I dont have my best friend anymore.  I dont understand why family thinks its ok to hurt each other.  When someone dies you will feel so bad because the last words you said to each other was hurtful and now they are gone and you cant  ever see or talk to them again.  It's a shame the family members can't get along with each other.  You are teaching your children its okay to fight and family dont matter to you or to them.  Your kids learn what you do.  So, get forgive and forget what was said or not said.  Just hug each other and get over the past.......

Thanks,

Stacy

DR. PHIL,

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO SISTERLY LOVE. I HAVE A SISTER AND I WOULDN'T TAKE THE TIME OR EFFORT TO NITPICK ABOUT TRIVIAL THINGS. WE SIMPLY PUT DISTANCE BETWEEN US FOR AWHILE.  THEY NEED TO PUT ALL THAT ENERY INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE.

My sister did not cheat with my husband.  But she is a pathological liar.  She has been a liar since we were young girls.  Although we are only 2 years apart, we never really got along.  We made many attempts and got along for awhile, but I cannot say we were ever "close" .  I am one of 7 children, 5 girls, 2 boys.   My sister, has stole money from my family, she forged my mother's signature on an fake agreement of sale to save her house from Sherriff's sale because she never pays her bills.  She threatened to ruin my life and my wedding, yet for some reason, I am the "outcast" in my family.   My sister is currently facing criminal charges for her actions, yet my family continues to make excuses for her and they blame me for her actions.  We are both adults, it is time she stands up and accepts responsiblity for everything wrong she has done.  My older sister has supported my other sister, but my older sister is unhappy with her life, and needs to feel "needed".  My older sister is having Thanksgiving Dinner, but I am NOT invited, yet I have to hear the whole family profess how important family is.  I grew up being taught that, but after all the events that have happened, I do not believe that.  My family has NOT been here for me, but my friends have.  I never thought I would feel this way, and I am sure my father is turning over in his grave with all the hatred and anger within the family.  I have come to a point in my life in which I feel as though I have to cut off all ties with my family.  I do not like the way they treat me, or the way they make me feel.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Several years ago, when I was seeing a therapist, I was trying, with his help, to build an adult relationship with two of my four siblings.  I had been trying for a few years to develop a good relationship with them.    After one of my visits with a sibling, I asked my therapist what else I could do.  He told me that I had done everything I could do.  Then he said that the question was not "what else could I do" but "how many more times was I going to go back and be hurt".  I realized that he was right.  So I had to make a choice for myself; I would no longer put myself where I would be hurt anymore. 

Then I was in a serious accident.  I nearly died and spent several days in a coma.  Through a relative, one sibling asked if he could come visit me in the hospital.  I said "yes", that I would welcome his visit".  But he didn't come.  You see, that was true-to-form for him.  It was just another example of how he would get my hopes up and then let me get hurt by not carrying through with the visit.  That was his choice.

I can't change my siblings; I can only change myself.  I opened the door by inviting him to visit but he choose not to walk through the door.