Topic : 11/14 Sisters at War

Hi,

Your story was refreshing.  I can relate to it.  However, in my case, it is with my brother.  He was either nice to me at times, or, verbally abusive at times.  Then, he married a woman who was mean to me.  He and I didn't talk for a few years until recently when my mom got sick.    He and I hugged, and, my daughter was able to finally meet him.  I miss him, and, would do anything to get together and try it again with he and his wife, am scared of rejection.  Have any advice? 

These two got on my last nerve with all of the pointless bickering.  Everytime Dr. Phil tried to make them aware of how toxic the pettiness was, it just didn't click with them.  The blonde one was especially annoying.  She is a whiny manipulator and tries to get people to side with her by fake crying and saying how much she loves her sister....it made me ill.

If they truly loved each other as much as they say they do then they would put the past in the past and quit the pointless bickering.  Dr. Phil was right.....they're more interested in being right than salvaging their relationship. 

Personally, I don't think they are going to be able to mend their relationship.  If they do then it will be very short lived.  These two have some major issues to deal with that go way beyond the petty bickering between the two of them.  The even have totally different recollections of their childhood.  I think the blonde sister is narcissistic.  I also think that she is jealous of the other one. 

I have a brother whom I have had very little contact with for about 6 years. This brother has caused a lot of problems for my family, especially my parents who both passed away this year. It all started when my parents signed over their house to him with agreements that he was suppose to pay them when he sold his own house. We then put a mobile home on their property that they had turned over to him, for them to live in. My husband and I live next door, so we had it planned that between my brother and I, we could take care of my parents as they were in there late 70's and early 80's. What my brother failed to let any of us know was that when we were at the lawyers and getting this all arranged, he was cheating on his wife with a crack using prostitute, and leading a life style none of us knew about. After about a year of seeing a change in him and knowing something wasn't right, my sister-in-law went to my mother and told her what was going on and that she was getting a divorce. At this point my brother had yet to pay my parents for the house. My mother came to me and wanted to know what she should do. She was worried as to what would happen to them if my brother got a divorce and the judge decided that they had to sell the house in the divorce settlement. So I took my mother to a lawyer and my parents sued my brother to get the house back. Well, when my brother got the papers he went crazy. Then he more or less stopped his life style, became the happy husband and my sister-in-law just forgot about everything and my brother now made it his lifestyle to make my parents life miserable. The court suit dragged on for 2 years. The judge finally ruled that my brother had to pay for the house and that if my parents weren't happy living where they were, they could just move. My parents felt that they were prisoners in there home. Every time they went outside he would harass them. My father had the beginnings of Alzheimer's and didn't really understand what was going on. My brother had my husband arrested by lying about an incident that happened and put a restraining order on him, so then my husband couldn't even go over to see my parents as they were living on his property. I went over to my parents one day to take care of my dad (he was sick from a reaction to a new medicine and could hardly walk)  so my mother could go out for lunch and my brother got on his high horse that day and started to fight with me and then called the cops to have me arrested for trespassing. I had to take my sick father out of his house and bring him to my house. After the judges ruling we sold my parents mobile home and my husband and I moved them in with us. My dad lived with us for 8 months and then we had to put him in a nursing home where he lived for almost 3 years before he passed away March 21st. My mom lived with us that whole time until she passed away in our home on May 29th.I have 2 other brothers and they don't speak to my brother either. I did go over about 2 years ago to his house right before Christmas and apologized to him. We did have very limited contact for a while after that. I really did it for my mom. My brother is also a pathalogical liar and that causes problems in the family also. Just last week, my husband and him encountered each other and shook hands. I suppose it's a step in the right direction, but I just don't know if I can ever have the relationship I had with him before. We were very close. Since my husband and him shook hands, my brother saw my daughter and told her of their encounter and he thinks things are just peachy now. Also the story he told her was not quite the same as what really happened.  I don't know why he has to lie. I just don't trust him. My other sister-in-law calls him a wolf in sheeps clothing. Sorry this is so long. I could go on and on about all of the things that he has done to my family especailly over a 2 year period, but that would take up about 3 pages on the message board!