Topic : 03/07 When Too Much is ... Too Much

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Created on : Friday, November 10, 2006, 09:20:25 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/15/06) Imagine discovering that your next-door neighbor owns over 200 cats. Ray and Dennis never thought their neighbor, Kristy, would let her pet collection get that big. Once friends, the three are now in a nasty and vindictive war because of the felines. Ray and Dennis say Kristy's property is one big, disgusting litter box, and they want Kristy to get rid of her cats. Kristy says she'll never part with her "cat sanctuary." Are Ray and Dennis playing dirty in order to run Kristy out of town? When is it too much, and where do you draw the line in the litter box? Then, Mike says his wife, Lori, keeps everything from used envelopes to empty food jars and medicine bottles, because she "might need it" in the future. He is ready to take desperate measures to put a stop to this. Lori says the thought of throwing her stuff out is her worst nightmare. Is Mike guilty of making nasty bribes to get his wife to change? What's really behind Lori's habit for hoarding? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

More March 2007 Show Boards.


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March 7, 2007, 2:30 pm PST

From a hoarder to another!

Just want to comment about Kristy's case, she seems quite happy and dedicated to her cats and their cause.She doesn't seem to be suffering from a lack of human social life.  I think she needs to be on a bigger property where there are no neighbours close to her, as i think the smell would be upsetting for Dennis and Ray, and also the 200 cats would be all over the place. I just hope her neighbour didn't poison some of the cats, because that is cruel and inhumane. The cats provide Kristy with unconditional love and also she has a big heart and loves her animals genuinely. In that way i do feel sorry for her, as I love cats myself and understand her need to rescue and tend and keep the cats. I also feel sorry for Lori, as I used to keep cards that people gave me on special occasions. To me those cards validated how much people cared for and  loved me. I was made to throw them out and i did it with lots of crying and heartache over it at the time. Now looking back it doesn't hurt  as much, but i resent the person who shouted at me to get rid of them still. I divorced him 22 years later. Now it doesn't hurt as much . So i hope Lori will accept the help of Dr.Lawlis as she's very fortunate to be in that position.

 

Regards

Lory(maria3255)

 
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March 7, 2007, 2:33 pm PST

Hoarding Grandma

I watch this show today and my mother would put this lady to shame.  I understand what her husband is going through.  I have always lived with a pile of something somewhere.  But since I have left home, her hoarding problem has become worse.  Every once empty spot is now filled.  Newspapers, bills, containers, even food.  My mom has lime jello since the 70's, every pice of clothing since the 60's, Every clost is full with no room for clothes, rooms filled to capacity where she can't even get into.  They also have two storage units full of things, and two sheds in the back yard filled to capacity.  My mother hasn't driven for 10 -15 years but they still have 6 cars in the backyard.  About 3 years ago, my parents moved to a new home.  When they did, there was only one table in the dining room.  But now, there are 3 other smaller tables in the dining room, just to hold all the junk my parents accumalate. 

 

I have spoken with my mother about the her hoarding problem and she is in total denial.  I know that this is a Obsessive - complusive disorder but my mother denies that she has a problem. 

 

I hope that  the husband of this lady can come to grips with her illness. 

 

 

 
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March 7, 2007, 2:39 pm PST

03/07 When Too Much is ... Too Much

Quote From: kphilips10

Cats are not natural predators in America.  They were introduced by Europeans.  And the bird population is not making do.  Songbirds are on the decline.  Do some research and you will find what I am saying is true.  I don't have a cat and will never have a cat.  I have horses and have lots of birds on my property.  I put up nest boxes for them and love to see them in my yard and listen to them all day while I work.  I don't want any feral cats reducing the population.
Things change, they evolve, cats have been "natural" in this country for 300+ years. There are plenty of birds...cat's do a lot of service for humans. They catch mice and my cat kills spiders...deadly poisonous hobo spiders.


 
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March 7, 2007, 2:42 pm PST

Info for Kristy

This message is for Kristy The cat Lady,

Kristy,
You can apply with the federal gov't for a cat safe haven permit as a type of reserve. It will allow you to have your cats and there is nothing that your mean and nasty neighbors can do about it, nor your city. It will over ride their unfair law. This is the same permit that an animal shelter has. If you need any additional info about it contact the Houston SPCA, They will glad to help you with info.
I wish you all the best and take care of those sweet cats

 
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March 7, 2007, 2:43 pm PST

Hoarding Can Be Hereditary

To all of you who watched today's show on "HOARDING," let me first say it truly IS an mental disorder.  Additionally, if the individual DOES NOT want to change, they WILL NOT.  They CAN NOT, without professional help.  Truly - an unfortunate way to exist and live your life.

It has been my personal observation for the last 25 years, that the disorder CAN be hereditary!!!  Can it not, Dr. Phil?

Why it took me so long to accept this, I'm not quite sure.  Perhaps I'm guilty of "hoarding my angry thoughts" toward the "sacred stuff!"  In my own home, I've had to secretly discard things, praying they will not be missed.  My husband definitely has the inclination, his 85-year old mother IS a chronic hoarder and so was her mother.  Imagine living amongst nearly 100 years of "stuff"  -  if only Extreme Makeover could see this old home, they'd probably love to help this elderly woman!!!   Among the antiques are newspapers/magazines from 1920's; every broken item is kept in hopes that one day the perfect glue will be invented to repair it; and maybe, just maybe, the IRS will need to see that cancelled check from 1937!!  This is only the tip of the iceberg.

To those of you who live with a hoarder, I pray you ask God to give you the courage to throw out when you can and peace of mind whenever you do so.  You, too, live in your own private "theological place of eternal punishment" by being the complete opposite!!!

 

 
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March 7, 2007, 2:48 pm PST

We can only hope....

Quote From: pentaj

I watch this show today and my mother would put this lady to shame.  I understand what her husband is going through.  I have always lived with a pile of something somewhere.  But since I have left home, her hoarding problem has become worse.  Every once empty spot is now filled.  Newspapers, bills, containers, even food.  My mom has lime jello since the 70's, every pice of clothing since the 60's, Every clost is full with no room for clothes, rooms filled to capacity where she can't even get into.  They also have two storage units full of things, and two sheds in the back yard filled to capacity.  My mother hasn't driven for 10 -15 years but they still have 6 cars in the backyard.  About 3 years ago, my parents moved to a new home.  When they did, there was only one table in the dining room.  But now, there are 3 other smaller tables in the dining room, just to hold all the junk my parents accumalate. 

 

I have spoken with my mother about the her hoarding problem and she is in total denial.  I know that this is a Obsessive - complusive disorder but my mother denies that she has a problem. 

 

I hope that  the husband of this lady can come to grips with her illness. 

 

 

that "this lady" ALSO can come to grips with her obsession and illness.  Admittance is the first step and asking for help is next! 
 
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March 7, 2007, 2:49 pm PST

Animal Lover - It's been a tough year.

I sympathize with the cat lady, although, I am a dog lover. I had 15 dogs until last year, when the city animal control officer started coming to me about having too many and the neighbors complaining about the barking. I took in a dog who had puppies in 1994.  We had two family pets at that time.  I never had any compliants from my neighbors about the dogs.  The yard is fenced in and they have an enclosed, climate controlled car port.  It is divided into individual small enclosures. There is a bench in there, so my husband and I can sit with the dogs. They have a doggy door and are living very good lives.  Over the past 10 years strays have wandered here and I have taken some in.  I put ads in the local paper looking for their owners. If I didn't find a home, I kept the dog.  They are all spayed and neutered and although it's very expensive, I have been able to keep them up to date on their shots.  In the past several years, we aquired a new neighbor.  She has done nothing but complain about my dogs and the neighbor 's on her other side, who have several dogs and cats. She knew I had dogs, it was her choice to move here. The animal control officer kept after me, until I was faced with having to give up some of my dogs.  He took three, assuring me they were going to a non-kill shelter.  I still placed an ad in the newspaper trying to get someone to go to the shelter and adopt an animal.  I made the choice to have one dog euthanized. She had pit bull in her and I knew would not be considered a good adoption candidate. I wanted to save her the stress of being in a cage for two or three weeks only to be euthanized. I feel so much guilt over doing this to a dog that I had rescued. She was tied up at an empty house with no food for three days, when I was told about her. I will always remember the sigh she made, when I lifted her onto the back seat of my car. The dog catcher wanted to take two dogs that he had been trying to pick up off the streets for three years.  Their owner lived a street over from me. He got hunting dogs each year, hunted with them and then just turned them out to roam.  He didn't want them back.  One dog  would come by and I started putting food out.  Then a young dog started hanging out with him.  Last summer they started staying under our new car port. I had a fan for them during the summer, a soft cushion, food and water.  When the animal control officer threatened me with a fine, my husband said we can't resist. I got these two to go in the fence.  This angered the animal control officer. He wanted those two - but I gave up three who I felt were much more adoptable.  Since then, he kept on me, because I was still over the limit of six.  I found a good home for a very gentle, big, lap dog want to be rottweiler and a companion dog. Luckily for them they went to the same home.  I had to give up a beagle I rescued.  I was told she was adopted from the shelter.  A husky was taken to the shelter - Buddy.  They told me he was euthanized because he developed an upper respiratory infection.  I have a feeling, they did not treat him with meds.  Another dog, Parker, was adopted from the shelter.  I was given a citation and had to appear in city court and fined in November $296.  The city prosecutor would not even let me show any documentation about how I had cared for the dogs, took in strays and tried to find homes for them.  He said he had seen all he needed to see - which was the animal control officer's documentation of leaving notes on my door or coming by my job to talk to me.  The animal control officer always gave me the impression, that he didn't want to do this, that it was only because of complaints.  I had even had an article done by the city newspaper, in an attempt to find homes.  My husband is an animal lover also, but more realistic.  He said our expectations are too high, when placing a dog for adoption.  I have cried so many tears over my dogs.  I am down to 9 - still 3 over.  I have been very, very diligent about keeping their barking down.  I have a large fenced double lot. The first area we fenced in 20 years ago is around the back of the house.  Then when I got more animals, I had the entire yard fenced.  Now I keep three dogs in the house, the remaining 6 are in the inner fence, unless I am home to hear them, if they start barking.  Five years ago, I put in a privacy fence between our house and the neighbor, but that did not satisfy her. I wish I could move out of the city limits, but it is not financially possible.  I wish I were a more proactive person and maybe I would not have let myself get in this situation.  People who take it upon themselves to help animals have my respect.  I have just lost my Dad, after being his caretaker for 6 years.  Between the animals, my job and my Dad - I am an emotional wreck.  I just wish more people would have compassion for the animals who are abandoned.  I wish all puppy mills would be outlawed.  I know of so many who do it only for the money  in selling the animals and I know they are not all licensed.  Why can't the animal control work more closely with the humane society and go after the abusers?  Thanks for your understanding. 

 
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March 7, 2007, 3:01 pm PST

Help for Hoarders

As a person who struggles with the anxiety disorder of hoarding, I am so disappointed not to hear resources suggested for others who suffer from this and for their loved ones. Cognitive behavior therapy is so important, tho it's not easy to find skilled therapists who are experienced helping hoarders.

 

The Obsessive Compulsive Foundation is a wonderful resource. Their annual conference offers presentations by experts in the field, often including Randy Frost and Gail Steketee, as well as opportunities to be accepted and networked with others. Their website provides links to support groups, the latest research, etc. www.ocfoundation.org

 

I cringed every time the audience laughed at the person suffering from hoarding. So few people understand. I know firsthand.

 

 

 
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March 7, 2007, 3:07 pm PST

Hoarding - not really - Well maybe?

My house is much worse than the lady and husband on Dr. Phil today.  Mine started when my soon to be husband moved from MD to AL. He is a big collector and still has a house and large shop full in MD.  I tried to make room for him.  That meant moving a lot of my things into a spare bedroom-office.  A third bedroom is now the computer room and is full of furniture, an old computer, papers, papers & magazines.  The fourth bedroom is full of my parents items. Things i have not been able to part with, but the room is a mess.  The used to be family room - is now where my overflow of dogs come in at night and during the day on cold days.  I have more than the allowed 6 dogs and I am trying to "hide" from the animal control officer.  I cannot have all 9 dogs out during the day, during the 6-3 work shift of the officer.  I know I am in a depressed state of mind - Caring for my Dad for 6 years, working a full time job, a new marriage in 2001, not being able to be a normal married couple and enjoying our time together because of the restrictions of being a care taker, too many dogs but not able to part with them until forced to and then the ensuing guilt and pain of parting with dogs who only gave me love.  I look at the mess in the house, I don't know where to start.  It is so over whelming.  My sister in law told me not long ago of a web-sit for women to get help in sorting these issues out.  I looked once, but have not had time to get into it.  I have always been a person who puts off things until the deadline and then - OH BOY! 
 
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March 7, 2007, 3:15 pm PST

03/07 When Too Much is ... Too Much

Animal hoarding or rescuing is a problem all over.  I went thru and read alot of the post and what we need is tougher laws to control the animal population, and maybe vets that wouldn't charge outrageous fees to get pets neutered/spayed.   200 cats would be alot for one person to reasonably and safely take care of.  I LOVE cats but I would never disrespect my neighbors and since I live in the city, I keep mine indoors.  She was trying her best to save them but also lost sight of how it affected her neighbors, in regards to smell and animal feces.   I have to wonder why she didn't build a couple barns out away from the residences to house them until they could find homes, she spent alot money by what she said that could have been used for that which may have kept some of them safer until things could be worked out.

 

 I do think it was more wrong for the neighbors to cart a cat or dog off.  And the mention that poison could have been used, that takes a small man to do something like that and it makes them no better than the people who threw the cats out to put them in the position to end up at her place.  He became part of the thing that created this situation.  I personally would have went ballistic on the neighbor too if I knew anyone intentionally hurt an animal so I could see why she despises these people and became stubborn over it all,  

 

As far as someone's comments on the board about cats killing birds, that happens, but I see more Hawks swooping down on feeders snatching birds then cats!   Guess habitat is bringing them in closer to the city. 

 

Anyways both sides are at fault!!

 

 

 

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